The Gift of Reflection
by KNeu21
Summary: Direct off-shoot of 'The Gift of Forgiveness' - Leandra wakes for the second time as a nine-year-old, but it's different this time. With a limit on the time she has and many obstacles she must face, can she fix everything that's gone wrong before everything is changed for her forever? RATED 'M' FOR THEMES!
1. Chapter 1

**ImPORTANT NOTE:  
Hi, guys! Long time, no post. I really tried hard to get this out as soon as I could, but life has just gotten so busy. Between Little KNeu growing like a weed (one year old on June 7th!), and moving out of this crap apartment, I've been working on this during every spare second I had. I'm pretty proud of how far I managed to get so far, and I'm pretty satisfied with the events that will unfold in this story. It's such a different direction, I believe my wonderful readers will approve as well.  
ANYWAY!  
I'm starting this story with a copy/paste from the end of chapter five and the start of chapter six of my story The Gift of Misfortune - Re-Vamped. I did take out the less relevant portions to save space (this chapter will be my longest chapter of the story), leaving in pieces that needed to be focused on. Just in case anyone was confused as to exactly where I'll be starting this story off. I suppose this story can be a stand-alone, but I also must suggest anyone new to go back and read through my The Gift - Re-Vamped series. It would make more sense that way.**

 **ReMINDER! READ THIS PART!**  
 **As with every single one of my other stories, this story is rated 'M' for violence, language, adult themes, and mentions/mild descriptions of abuse. If you're not old enough to read 'M' material, I highly recommend backing out now.**  
 **With that said, it's time for the..**

 **DiSCLAIMER!**  
 **I don't own anything Twilight related. I only own the parts and people you don't recognize from SM's works. All of my characters aren't based on any real people, blah blah blah. They might drive me crazy with the bickering, but they're not real (haha...).**

 **I believe that's all.. So without further delay..**  
 **ONWARD!**

 **Chapter One**

 _The ride back started quiet. Both of us silent, until I thought of something I wanted to ask._

 _"You say you can see the future too?" I asked quietly, looking over at her. She smiled a little, nodding, "Can you tell where he's taking me?" It was such an odd thing to consider, but I'd apparently been doing it without my knowledge._

 _"It's difficult to see you." She answered, "Which is why I haven't been able to see anything very specific." I nodded a little, "It doesn't take a genius to figure out what's going on by what I have seen, though."_

 _"Why can't you see me?" I asked, frowning._

 _"I didn't say I couldn't." She replied, "Just that it's difficult. I do know that we'll be friends for a long time, so don't worry about that." I liked that thought._

* * *

 _True to her word, she pulled to a stop outside the house, and there was no sign of Jack home yet in the fading evening light. It got dark quickly when the clouds were this thick. She sighed, turning off the car, her smile long gone. Her eyes closed for a few seconds before she opened them. As if this really bothered her._

 _I sighed in relief, looking over at her. I was eased the second I noticed that Jack was still gone. He wouldn't know anything about me leaving the house, and that made me feel better, until I noticed her expression._

 _"What is it?" I had to ask, "What's wrong?"_

 _"I don't want to leave you here." She laughed, but the sound definitely wasn't a happy one. She looked over at me, and I finally saw her emotion, "I feel like I'm tossing you to the wolves."_

 _"I'll be okay." I mumbled, trying to ease her, "I always am."_

 _"Just be truthful with me, Leandra." She almost plead, "I'm right, aren't I?"_

 _I hesitated for about a minute, before I took a breath._

 _"Do you have to ask?" I asked in return, "Denying it doesn't do any good, does it?" She took a deep breath, a calming one as she held it. I could see how hard this really was._

 _"Can you honestly tell me," She murmured, quieter now, "That trusting someone else is harder than staying here and letting him beat on you?"_

 _"Yes." I answered without hesitation, "It's a lot harder. There's.. More to it than just trusting someone else. You don't know what he's like. Besides.." I shrugged a little, "The best I could hope for would be to get sent away to some family that gets paid to beat me harder than he ever has."_

 _"That's not true." She replied._

 _"I've heard stories." I defended my point._

 _She took a breath, and looked to me, "Just think. Think about what choice you're making before you walk away. There will always be a chance to change your mind, but do you really want it to get bad enough for you to have to? Leandra, I'm worried. That's also not easy to do."_

 _I looked down._

 _"You know full well that what he does to you isn't right." She continued, "It's not right. You need to understand that."_

 _"I know." I mumbled, "I know that he shouldn't hit me."_

 _"Not just that." She murmured, "It's wrong. You know it's wrong." I knew that better than she obviously knew. I didn't respond to that one. Keeping my eyes down, studying my hands nervously clasped in my lap. I wouldn't bother denying it anymore, but I wouldn't say a word to confirm it._

 _"I am begging you." She stressed, "Begging you not to leave this car."_

 _I took a breath, "I don't have another choice."_

 _"I'm offering you another choice." She replied, "Right now."_

 _"You don't know him." I whimpered, shaking my head, "You don't get it."_

 _"What don't I get?" She asked, "Please. Explain it to me."_

 _"I can't."_

 _"Why not?" She asked, "Why can't you?"_

 _"I just can't." I shook my head again, "You don't know."_

 _"Look." She murmured, her tone soft, "All you have to do is tell me. Just say the word, and I'll take you back to the house. We'll sort everything out there."_

 _"I can't."_

 _"It's either that, or I camp out in your front yard, and wait for him to get here so I can kick his ass myself." She replied, and I looked to her sharply, "I can't leave you here. I can't do it. Not knowing what he does to you."_

 _I held her gaze for a minute, and everything I saw there told me she knew exactly what was going on. I saw no reason to deny it anymore._

 _"You can't do that." I finally told her, "You-"_

 _"Then let me take you back." She insisted, "Because that's the only way I'm leaving here. With you with me."_

 _"Okay." I said, "Okay, fine." Just because she made me agree, didn't mean I would be cooperative._

 _She didn't wait for another word from me, immediately starting the car again._

* * *

 _What the hell was wrong with me?_

 _Leaving while I still had a chance to get back before he even knew I left was one thing. Purposefully waiting for him to get home and not doing everything I could to immediately get back home was even worse._

 _We got there, and Carlisle was immediately there in the garage doorway. Obviously confused as Alice pulled me from the car. Taking my hand as I followed her a little easier back into the familiar house. Not that she left any option._

 _I attempted to remove my hand from hers, but it wouldn't budge. Not painfully, like it would have been with Jack, but just impossible to get my hand free._

 _"There." I muttered, "Now that you're here, I'll walk back." She didn't reply to that, "Alice?" I had to get back. Even if I was a little late in returning, I could still swing it just enough so he wouldn't suspect they had anything to do with why I was gone._

 _"I couldn't." Was all she said to Carlisle as we passed him into the house. I looked up at him as we passed, confused but having little choice in how this all played out now._

 _Was I in the middle of being kidnapped?_

 _"Hey, she's back." Emmett seemed pleased at that, but Edward stood up._

 _"Alice?" He questioned her, glancing to me._

 _"First things first." Alice muttered, "We need to call the police-"_

 _"No." I immediately stole my hand from hers, "You never said anything about the stupid cops. I won't do it."_

 _"Easy." Esme entered the room, "What's going on?"_

 _"Okay." Alice huffed, "That can wait a few hours if you want, but definitely by morning."_

 _"Alice, I have to go back." I stressed quietly._

 _"If you leave here, I'm going right along with you." She crossed her arms. That was highly frustrating._

 _"You don't know what you're doing." I replied sharply, "Just.. Trust me on this, okay? You don't want anything to do with him."_

 _"And why is that?"_

 _I shut up. I saw her angle now. I saw what was going on._

 _I wasn't brave enough to make a run for it, and I doubted I'd get very far without her following me anyway. She knew that. She was trying to put herself between Jack and me, but she didn't know what she was doing by doing that. I couldn't tell her, though._

 _She knew something wasn't right. I'd confirmed that just a little bit ago, but she still had no idea how wrong it was. She needed me to fill in that blank, but I wouldn't._

 _With no way out, my back against a metaphorical corner, I didn't know what to do._

 _"God, what am I doing here?" I whimpered, sitting on the couch. I was literally shaking with fear. Covering my face briefly. Everything seemed to be happening quickly, and I hadn't yet come to terms with what this choice meant. All to keep Alice safe, I'd essentially just thrown myself into that box._

 _But no matter how much I hated that thought, I couldn't just let her go there. If I stayed here, she stayed here. If I went home, she went right along with me, and that was something I couldn't let happen. Just the thought of Alice anywhere near Jack made me just as nervous as the thought of him finding out I left. I was confused about which was worse._

 _I couldn't go home until I figured out a way to go back without her following me._

* * *

 _I looked over as Alice strode back into the room, a washcloth in her hand. She kneeled on the floor in front of the couch, and reached out. Taking my chin in her hand, she started washing my face for me. Gently, carefully smoothing the cloth over my cheeks, the subtle hint of soap on the cloth soothed me. Though I could do it myself, I didn't mind this._

 _I had to admit, the cool cloth felt nice on my overheated cheeks, but then I realized what she was doing. Jerking my head back, and looking at her with silent accusation in my eyes. She was uncovering my bruise. The thing that had alerted her that first day of what I hid._

 _"It's okay." She told me, and oddly enough, I became more cooperative. As if I had run out of resistance for a moment. I took a deep, shaky breath. A very needed one as she continued._

 _She glanced at Carlisle after a few silent moments, "She covers this every day. Every single day. With as good as she is at it, I don't doubt this is the only one she's ever had."_

 _I stayed quiet. If she was hoping I'd add something, she was wrong. I wasn't ready to face this yet, and I knew she was urging me in that direction. I knew what was coming._

 _"Leandra." I looked over as Carlisle took the chair to my left, "Before we can do anything at all, I need you to tell me." I was well aware of that, but I hid again instead. I wasn't ready for this!_

 _I wasn't doing this._

 _"Leandra?" He prompted again._

 _"Maybe we should let her calm down first." To my surprise, Emmett spoke up, "The kid's freaking out, and honestly, I can't blame her."_

 _"I agree." Esme offered sadly, "This has to be terribly hard on her." I glanced to her, grateful for her attempt._

 _"Leandra." Alice spoke up this time, and I just sobbed again, "Come on. I know how hard this is on you. Believe me, I get it, but I know you have it in you. Just say it. That's all you have to do, and everything will stop. I promise."_

 _I didn't know what could potentially get me into trouble here, so I stayed quiet. Neither denying or confirming. Did she really think I'd give up my life that easily?_

* * *

 _"Let me try." Emmett spoke up, and I looked over at him as he stood up, replacing Esme beside me as she stood up as well. He plopped down beside me casually. Let him try? What would he do? I braced myself for anything. I tightened in my ball, glancing over at him nervously. He just smiled as he looked at me._

 _"Hi." He muttered._

 _"Hi." I replied, my quiet tone hesitant. He looked me over briefly, before he met my eyes again._

 _"How do you do that?" He asked._

 _"Do what?" I asked in return._

 _"Make yourself that small without even trying." He said, and I shrugged a little, "Well, it's impressive. Seriously, how tall are you?"_

 _"I don't know." I admitted quietly. Where was he going with this?_

 _"Here." He said, "Stand up." I hesitated as he stood up first, watching him, "Come on. I'm not gonna bite you."_

 _He urged me forward with his hand, and slowly, I stood up as well to take the free spot beside him. Waiting for his point._

 _Touching the top of my head with his hand, he measured my height to his._

 _"Well," He said, "I'm over six feet. About six-four, and you're about half of me. That puts you at.. Really, really small." I smiled a little at that. That was funny._

 _"I knew that already." I mumbled, glancing up at him._

 _"Are you sure you're nine?"_

 _"Pretty sure, yeah." I replied, "Last time I checked."_

 _"What do you weigh?" He asked, and again, I shrugged, "Any estimates?"_

 _"They said a few months ago in school that I weighted forty-nine." I shrugged gently again, "But I probably lost some since then."_

 _"Forty-nine?" He asked, surprised, "Pounds?" What else?_

 _"Yeah." I murmured._

 _"That settles it, then." He said, "We've gotta fatten you up." I smiled again, looking down. He was pretty funny. He wasn't trying to poke me into talking. He sighed as I sat back down. I didn't curl up again, though. He took the open seat beside me._

 _"Look here, short-stuff." He muttered, "No one here is trying to ruin your life. I know it seems like it's the end of the world, but I swear its not." He'd moved closer to making me clam up. He had to have seen that by the slight distrustful way my gaze hardened._

 _"It's not that." I stared down at my hands in my lap, "I know you're just trying to help me."_

 _"Come on, shorty." He prompted, "I'm not that bad of a person, am I?" That, I was not expecting. Did he really think I thought that?_

 _"No." I replied honestly, "I don't think you are."_

* * *

 _"Are you trying to protect him?" Jasper's question startled me, as I hadn't seen him approach to take Carlisle's vacated seat. I looked to him._

 _"Fuck no." I muttered, and beside me, Emmett stifled a chuckle._

 _"Goodness." I heard from Esme quietly, but I didn't focus too much on that._

 _"Then why won't you say anything?" Jasper asked._

 _"There's nothing to say." They had gotten exactly full circle with me, and they knew that, given Jasper's sigh. Beside me, Emmett was having trouble keeping his laughter back._

 _"I think you're irritating him, shorty." Emmett muttered to me._

 _"Good." I replied, "Just because I had to come back here doesn't mean I'm spilling everything."_

 _"Had to?" Jasper asked. I fell quiet, carefully choosing my words for a reply._

 _"Alice said she'd wait there for him if I didn't agree to come back here." I explained, "I didn't want that, so I agreed. I was going to just walk back myself when we got here, but she won't let me."_

 _"Why?" He asked, "Why didn't you want her to wait there?"_

 _"I like her too much." I answered._

 _"Did you think she'd somehow be in danger?"_

* * *

 _My lack of cooperation was starting to really grate on Alice's nerves, and I knew it. The closer it got to the time Jack got home, the more I insisted that I go back. I knew that had to say a lot, but I couldn't help it. Eventually, the questioning slowed, which I appreciated as running them in circles was irritating me._

 _Carefully picking, choosing each response. Giving them nothing they could use. Without me admitting to anything or making a complaint myself, there was nothing anyone could do. Sure, they could call the cops if they wanted to. I'd lie to a room full of cops if I had to. I'd lie my ass off. I'd lie until I couldn't talk anymore. I'd always lie, and I'd make damn sure they believed me._

 _When there were less than thirty minutes left, I got really quiet._

 _My heart pounding quick, staring at the clock. Like I expected him to miraculously know exactly where I was and come to get me the second he found out I was missing. Trembling in my little ball, my shallow, tight breathing shaking along with me. I knew it was audible in the silent room, especially to Alice kneeling on the floor beside me, as I could even hear it above the sound of my heartbeat._

 _They didn't know what they were doing, that much was clear. If they did, they'd know that I had every right to feel as afraid as I did. Alice wouldn't keep trying to calm me down with words I wasn't paying any attention to._

* * *

 _"What's going through that head of yours?" Alice asked me, "You want to trust me. I know you do. What's stopping you?" I focused hard on the TV, my small smile fading._

 _"I can't." I finally replied, "I do want to, you're right. More than anything, but I can't." I couldn't do that to her. Trusting her meant relying on her. Relying on someone else was not only bad news for me, but for them as well._

* * *

 _It confused me to realize that I wasn't so sure I wanted Alice to give up. I didn't want her to give up on me._

 _This was the most effort anyone had ever showed. Someone obviously unwilling to take 'I'm fine' as an answer. For once, part of me wanted someone to be more stubborn than I was._

 _I chose then to get more comfortable. I could be here awhile._

 _Tucking my feet to the side, my arm propping my head up on the armrest. My heavy eyes felt heavier this way, though._

 _"You're sure you're not tired?" Emmett asked, and I opened my eyes again._

 _"Nope." I replied, and he chuckled._

 _"Because you sure look tired, and it's been a pretty busy day for you."_

 _I shrugged a little, otherwise not responding. Watching the screen, focused on it far more than I should be, to not notice how I couldn't concentrate on a damn thing that was going on in the movie._

 _"Kid's falling asleep in here." I jumped awake at Emmett's call minutes later. I had been. I didn't like that thought, so I stood up._

 _"No I'm not." I grumbled._

 _"Leandra," Alice came back into the room, "The guest room is just up the hall. If you're tired-"_

 _"I'm fine." I sighed, "When am I going home?"_

 _"Not tonight, so you might as well sleep." She replied, "Get some rest, Leandra."_

 _This was frustrating as hell._

 _"Keeping me here isn't helping me." I told her, shaking my head, "You're only making it worse for me when I go back."_

 _"You don't have to go back." She stressed again, "Just tell me."_

 _"I can't do that." I was getting pissed. Really upset._

 _"You can." She countered, "But you won't. Why won't you?"_

 _"I can't tell you that either." I denied instantly, "How many times do I have to say that?"_

 _"You can." She repeated, "Leandra, he can't get to you here. Just tell me. That's all you have to do."_

 _"You're not hearing me." I shook my head, but I sat back down. I was tired, and she knew that, but if she thought that I'd break just because I was tired, she was wrong. It would take more than that. It would take more than just a few hours to get that from me, and I had a feeling she was starting to see that._

 _"I hear you." She assured me, "I just know exactly where you're at right now. You're afraid, thinking he's going to punish you for talking. You think he's going to know you told the second you tell, but I'm telling you. He won't ever get to you again if you just tell me."_

 _"Yes he will." I sighed, "You don't know him. You don't know what he's like. You don't know what he can do, and as much as I wish I didn't, I do know him. I know what he's like, and I know what he can do."_

* * *

 _She left me alone after awhile, and I went back to watching TV. I didn't even remember laying down, but Emmett didn't rat on me this time. He stayed quiet, hardly paying much attention to me at all. Of course, me curled into an insecure ball on my side could have had everything to do with that._

 _Just closing my eyes to rest them wasn't so bad, though. Just for a minute. I could do that. It was definitely relieving to do so. Soothing my tired eyes, and easing the headache I was developing._

 _I never even realized how deeply I snoozed until I jumped awake at a thin blanket being laid over me. Whimpering in my sleepy state._

 _I laid in the same position I must have fallen asleep in. Laying almost completely on my stomach, my cheek against the couch. The TV and most of the lights had been turned off, leaving the now empty and quiet room lit, but dimly. I yawned deeply, trembling with the force of it._

 _"I'm sorry, honey." It was Esme, "I didn't mean to wake you up." I didn't even try to sit up or move. I was too worn out._

 _"It's not your fault." I mumbled, resting my eyes closed, "I didn't mean to fall asleep."_

 _"It's late." She murmured quietly, "Would you like me to show you the guest room?"_

 _"Can I stay here?" I asked quietly. I was comfortable where I was, and really didn't feel up to moving. If I were to move, I'd be wide awake again. I didn't exactly want to be in the way, either, but I had to ask._

 _"Of course." She replied easily, "Get some rest. We'll figure everything out in the morning." I nodded a little, already half asleep, "The bathroom is just up the hall, first door on your left. If you need anything at all, I'll be upstairs. First hall, third door on the left."_

 _I doubted I'd need anything, or would even dare try to find her in the middle of the night with Carlisle around, but I nodded anyway. I was pretty easily managed. Just like a cat. Show me the litter box and the food bowls, and I pretty much fended for myself. If I could have fit under the coffee table, I'd have hidden myself away there._

 _Too exhausted to stay awake, I didn't even remember her leaving the room._

* * *

Memories of _just_ the day before flooded back into my mind, stuck now back at the beginning. I was dizzy, and I was hurting, just like I was back then.

Nobody would ever know what this feeling was like, and I really couldn't understand why I would be forced to keep coming back here. This age, this point in my life. It was definitely something I would have to focus on later, as I had a few more pressing issues I needed to address.

Like making them believe me.

There was so much I had to tell them, and unlike what happened before, I remembered everything so solidly, I doubted there was anything that could make me forget it.

From this point on, I had the answers to every single thing that could possibly hurt them or upset their lives. Unfortunately, that also involved me. It was quickly becoming apparent that by choosing to go to school that day, I'd made the wrong choice and I was continuously sent back because I had to fix it.

It made a little bit of sense that I wouldn't keep going back to the exact same spot, considering I was a bit further ahead of when I woke up from a vision last time. I kept screwing up, and it was my minds way of letting me know that I kept doing something wrong. I kept making the same mistakes.

As much information as my mind held now, it was pretty hard to make sense of what was going on. Absentmindedly, I massaged my nervous stomach, a seemingly permanent frown on my face. My stomach was hurting me, but from what I remembered, that wasn't new.

"Leandra?" Alice was calling my attention again, breaking me out of my thoughts. I looked over at her before I shook my head, trying to straighten out my mind. I had stopped, standing in the middle of the hallway, just thinking. I continued on, though, knowing I had limited time.

I walked back into the living room to find Carlisle had come in as well. I stopped in my tracks, looking at him. Alice, right behind me, paused as well.

"Leandra?" She questioned again. Fresh from the last conversation I'd had with Carlisle while I slept, emotion tried to take me down again, but I managed to keep it together long enough to speak. Closing my eyes, shaking my head a bit, I looked back over at Carlisle. I had a point to make and I needed to make it fast. With what I remembered about this time, I had a time limit and I needed to make it known.

"I just need everyone to listen to me." I started, but I stopped myself. Sitting down instead, I spoke quieter, "Err.. Wait."

I had a few more things I needed to get straight in my head. I wasn't ready yet. I was getting overwhelmed by how much I had to think. There was something here that I needed to fix. Something here that I kept doing wrong.

Something.. Here.

Thinking about it like that, it suddenly made sense. This was where I kept going wrong. In the end, all of this now was what led to things going so wrong before I would finally wake up. I knew what fixing it would mean, but I _did_ say during the vision that if I'd had a chance to change everything, I would take it. This was my chance. I saw that this time.

I looked back over at Carlisle again. To him, it would really be the first time I looked right at him. To me, it was normal by now. To him, just the day before, I struggled to trust him.

"I'm not crazy." I started again, standing back up, "I'm not."

"I never believed you were." He replied simply, deeply concerned.

"I know things." I went on, "Things you all need to know, but it.. It's a little mixed up right now. It's mixed up, but I need to figure it out before-"

"Slow down." Alice murmured, gently taking my shoulders in her hands and turning me to face her.

"Ow." I muttered, stepping back, "Careful. That hurts again. I'm not used to it."

"What hurts?" She asked.

"I have to get back, Alice. Nobody has to get hurt, but I have to get back before-"

"Slow down." She repeated, "And explain."

"I don't have _time_ to slow down." I replied a bit shortly, but I was talking faster now, "The cops will be here any _minute_." I paused for a breath, "But there are a few things I have to tell you, but you have to promise to listen to it closely, okay? There's a lot that's gonna happen and I'm trying to remember it all-"

Esme tried, "Leandra-"

"Firstly, don't go play baseball until next freaking year." I continued to speak quickly, "Don't do it. It just leads you to trouble. Second, don't use so much tape on Bella's birthday present. She's stupid, and cuts her finger open _right_ in front of Jasper, which makes him flip out and try to kill her. Third, don't let Edward leave because of that. He gets all mad and leaves her, and then we all have to move to New York for awhile so Bella thinks we're gone. Third- Or fourth.. Whatever.." I paused long enough for a gasp, suddenly remembering. New York. There was something there in New York for me to find.

"Mikah." I whispered in astonishment, "Mikah's still human."

"Who is Mikah?" Alice asked, but I grew a big grin.

I laughed, amazed by this realization, "Mikah's still human! It doesn't have to suck!"

"Leandra," She sighed, "Who is Mikah?"

"He's someone I met in New York." I answered, "I miss him, but oh well. He doesn't have to know me. Nobody does. Nobody has to get hurt because of me! Don't you get it? I can fix it!"

"You had a vision." She finally understood. No _shit_. I thought, up to this point, that we were all on the same page, but I _did_ kind of leave her in the dust explanation wise. I was miles ahead of her. _Years_.

"Yes." I sighed. I was getting frustrated that she was still way back there in understanding, but then I thought about it. She can't read my thoughts. I spoke again.

"I can fix everything. Nothing has to go wrong- Oh! And tell Edward not to give in to Bella's demands." She frowned in confusion, "Just tell him! Wait! Where is he? He'll know what I'm talking about."

I turned, striding for the door. Changing my mind right next to Esme, turning back around to face Alice, "Wait, not yet. He can't be here yet. He's still off with Bella anyway, huh?"

I was hatching a plan that would no doubt end badly for me, but it was all I had. This was my only bargaining chip. Without holding this information back, there was no way they would ever let me fix this. I was comfortable with doing this because I knew it was all safely stored in my mind.

I wouldn't tell them what they needed to know unless they let me do what I needed to do.

"First thing's first though." I said, "You have to let me go. You can't let Jack know that you're the one that kept me here all night, and no matter _what_ happens, don't answer the phone." I looked to Carlisle, "Don't answer. Don't come get me. Don't let Alice follow me. Just _please_ , forget you ever met me. I love you all too much to get anyone hurt like that again, so I won't do it. You have to let me go."

"What?" Alice was still frowning, "You're joking-"

"You _have_ to let me go back!" I shut her up, ignoring the tears that started to fall again, "Please. I'm begging you. Just let me go back. I'll.. I don't know. I don't know what you want from me, but _please_.." I started to cry again, "Let me go. I'll do anything you want if you just.. Just let me go back. Let me fix it."

I gasped through sobs, struggling to breathe. I was deeply overwhelmed, and trying to make them understand was hard on me. My emotions were everywhere. I was terrified, desperate, and excited all rolled into one living, breathing mess.

Worriedly, she looked to Carlisle.

"How will you going back prevent any of that from happening?" Carlisle asked and I looked over at him.

"It's not just that that I'm trying to fix." I cried, "I-It's Jack. You don't know him. You don't know how far he'll go to get me back. I _know_ I said all this.. Um.. Yesterday? I know I said all this before, but you _really_ don't know how far he'll go, and I don't want you to know." I paused for a few breaths, closing my eyes for a second or two, before speaking quieter.

"I _can't_ spend the next eight years running again.: I stressed, "I can't do it again. You _try_ to protect me.. You try really hard, but.. It's not enough. Everything goes wrong after Jack takes me to California tomorrow. He takes me there to meet his dad, and he tells me that he's going to leave me there. I run away and I call you, and you come get me.. But that's not what's supposed to happen. That's where it all goes wrong. I have to stay wherever Jack wants me to be if I'm gonna fix things."

I had to sit down. All that talking was making me lightheaded.

"What are you going on about, shorty?" Emmett stood on the stairs, watching me. I looked over, seeing that he was alright, and instantly sobbed harder. He seemed puzzled, watching as I stood back up. My very last memory of him being the fact that he'd lost to Jack. That pain was very real to me.

"Can I hug you?" I whimpered pathetically. His expression melted, and he smiled a little. He wouldn't understand why, but he humored me. Descending the stairs to grant my request. I met him halfway, wasting no time in hugging him as tight as I could.

This was a huge change from how it'd been the day before. Just a few hours ago, I was scared of him. Now I was overwhelmingly glad to see him, and to be able to hug him again. He returned it gently, which I appreciated even more.

"Wait.." Alice murmured, "Did you say eight years?" I nodded through my tears, "You saw _eight years_ into the future?"

"Wait." I sobbed. I was in the middle of a moment. I would answer whatever she wanted after I was okay with letting go of Emmett. I held my breath, trying to stop crying as I looked up at him, "You're okay? You're okay."

"I'm fine." He laughed a little, obviously confused, "Easy, shorty. Breathe." I took his advice, forcing my breathing to slow and even out.

A minute later, I stepped back enough to look back up at him. He still seemed confused but didn't seem to mind my sudden change of heart.

I looked to Alice after a moment longer, shaking my head and wiping the tears off my chin with my shoulder.

"You have to let them take me back." I was suddenly quiet now, "I don't care what happens to me. I don't care what he does to me. I have to go back." I whispered now, "I'm _begging_ you. Let me go."

Her eyes gave away her sadness and deep concern as she stepped forward and slowly kneeled down in front of me. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she knew that whatever was upsetting me was big.

"Leandra.." She murmured, "What happens?"

I couldn't answer. I literally couldn't speak the words, so instead, I looked back up at Emmett before meeting Alice's eyes again. She understood, given the deepening concern.

"How?" She asked.

"Jack." I whimpered, and Emmett scoffed.

"Don't do that!" I suddenly looked up, shouting at him, "You're always doing that! Don't be _stupid_! You're stronger, but he's _faster_!" My shout died in my throat as I crumbled. Strangled by the knot of emotion fighting to overwhelm me even further.

"Wow." Emmett muttered, fighting back more laughter.

"How is that possible?" Alice asked quietly. Her quiet tone calmed me a bit. Enough to get my thoughts back in order.

"He gets turned." I mumbled, "Because of what happens at that baseball game. And because of that, he can hunt me down better. You try.." I squeezed my eyes shut, "You try everything you can to keep me safe, but it's not enough. Not against him. _Please_. I can't wait around and watch everyone suffer again because of me. It _hurts_ too much.. You have to let them take me."

"Who?" She asked.

"The cops." I answered, "They'll be here soon." She frowned again, looking to Carlisle.

"None of us called them, Leandra." Carlisle told me.

"I know." I mumbled, "Jack did. He wanted to try to get you guys in trouble, and to remind me not to say anything."

"Say anything about what?" Alice asked. It was always right back to that question. I'd finally had enough.

Frustrated now, I groaned out an irritated sigh before I reached down and lifted my shirt over my back. I heard Esme's intake of breath across the room as soon as my skin was revealed. I'd heard that before, so I was expecting it. My reasoning was maybe if they saw what they wanted to see, they would stop asking me about it. The sooner I got it out of the way, the sooner we could get back to talking about what was more important.

"Holy _shit_." Emmett was obviously not expecting that, and I looked over at him. Carlisle immediately came forward.

"About this." I answered Alice anyway, "This is what I can't tell you about. This is what I was hiding."

"How many damn cars have you been run over by, shorty?" Emmett demanded, leaning down. Probably for a closer look.

"Leandra, how recent is this?" Carlisle asked tensely, kneeled behind me and inspecting my back.

"Couple days." I muttered, "Some of it, anyway. The older stuff is a little older." I wasn't shy, sighing as I finished pulling off my shirt, freeing my bruised arms from the sleeves. It was literally everywhere.

I looked down, over my stomach. It was all there too, but I knew my back was worse. The criss-crossing pattern of dark bruising and welts, all with the width and shape of the belt Jack loved to use. In all directions laid strips of bruises over my skin. Curling over my arms, my sides, chest and stomach. More on my right side than on my left, though, as that side had often taken the brunt of the force.

I knew full well that it wasn't just the bruising that concerned them all. How scrawny I was also contributed to the worry. If I breathed just right, my ribs were almost seen. My arms were thin, but not too horribly. How small and scrawny I was compared to the bruising I held made up the base of their concern. I _knew_ all this already.

"And you _really_ think.." Emmett's tone was tense as well, and I looked back over my shoulder at him, "We'd ever let you go back to that?"

"You have to." I replied, stepping forward. Away from Carlisle's assessment, straightening out my shirt. I turned to face Emmett, "You know why? Because I watched you die. By the same person that did this."

"I _could_ just go over there right now and take care of that." He countered, "That would make sure he can't hurt anyone again."

"You can't do that, either." I muttered, "You know why? Because that would just make them send me to California anyway to live with his dad. I didn't know that before, but I do now. He's already made plans for me. They'll send me wherever he wanted me to be sent."

"Maybe he'd be better for you."

"No." I replied immediately, "Ken isn't better. He's worse. He's the one that taught Jack everything he knows."

"You stayed here, with us last time?" Alice asked, and I nodded, looking back at her.

"Yeah." I replied, "Because it took me awhile to remember that you guys are vampires, and that made you nervous. You thought I'd blab to everyone about it when I did remember."

"Well, then." Emmett chuckled a little at my obvious nonchalance.

"I won't tell anyone." I assured him, "I care about you guys too much to get you into trouble like that. Plus, who would believe me? I'm just a kid. _Again_. God.." I shook my head, finally pulling on my sweater, sighing hard in more irritation.

"Again?"

"This is the third fucking time." I grumbled, "I've been sixteen _twice_ now. I got it wrong _again_ the second time. The first time, I woke up back in my room. A few days ago now, I guess. _Then_ , this morning, I woke up _again_. Both times I'd been turned, which is _so_ not fun, by the way. First time.." I hesitated, "Well, I won't tell you about that, but trust me. It sucks bad. I'm gonna get it right this time if it kills me. I can't keep doing that. I can't keep coming back here."

"Leandra.." Alice sighed, standing up, "You have a lot of potentially important information."

I sighed as well, "When I have more time, I'll tell you everything I know. If you let me go."

"What happens if he kills you first?" Emmett asked pointedly. I turned to look up at him.

"He won't." I replied, "I'm too important to- Gah. Can you kneel down here or something? I'm used to being a lot taller, and this is really messing me up." Despite the situation, Emmett laughed.

I watched as he did what I asked, grateful for him humoring me. If I hadn't been so desperate to make them see, it would have been amusing to me too.

"I'm too important to him." I explained, "Everything he does to me, he says is because I was born at all, but it's actually because he's trying to make me turn out like him. He told me when I was fifteen, and before that when I was ten, that the whole reason he beats me and.. Well, the other stuff.. Is because he's trying to teach me how to hate like him. He's not gonna kill me or leave me with Ken. He'll bring me back here after awhile, and I'll find some way to tell you all what I know and what you all _need_ to know." I hesitated, "Well, unless you really _want_ a whole big argument with Aro and them over the baby Bella has that almost kills her."

"Wait.." Emmett frowned, floored, "Back up?"

"Yeah." I said, "Aro is an asshole. They all are, but him the most. His whole thing is he wants me because I'm the second half to his gift, but I don't want that."

"The second half?" Carlisle asked, and I nodded.

"From taking my hand, Aro can use my gift to see visions in real time." I answered, "Whatever he wants to see, whenever he wants to see it. It's a little weirder than that, but that's about it. He's waited for someone like me for a really, really long time, so just think about what happens. Jack's trying to get me, Aro's trying to get me, and you're all trying to protect me from both of them when I'm being stupid, and getting myself into trouble. That isn't easy for anybody. You pay too much attention to Aro and Jack, when you _should_ be paying attention to me."

I turned to look back at Alice, "But.. Deal's off if you say anything to anyone about anything. I know it's hard to believe anything I say, because I'm just a kid to you, but I can fix it this time. I know what I'm doing. You just have to trust me."

"So wait," Emmett said, "Just so we're on the same page here.." I looked over at him, "You know _everything_ there is to know about what supposed to happen over the next eight years.."

"Yeah." I confirmed.

"But you.." He paused, frowning a bit, "You're trying to fix things that go wrong for you.."

"Yeah." I repeated.

"And to do that," He went on, "You think you have to go back to that Jack-ass?"

"I don't think it." I replied, "I know it."

"For argument's sake, what would happen if you weren't able to?"

I was about to get irritated, until I realized that I probably wasn't making much sense before. Just like before, I was getting ahead of myself.

"Nowhere would be safe." I answered quietly.

"I gathered that." He waved it off, "You mentioned that, but there _are_ ways around that, if you would just tell us."

"You're not getting it." I shook my head a little, "I tried. Twice. And twice, I got it wrong."

"Yes, but if you would just tell us where you went wrong-"

"It's not that easy." I said, "I went wrong by going to school that day. I went wrong by meeting Alice, or Edward, or Jasper. None of you were ever supposed to know me, but I can fix that. All I have to do, is-"

"Is go and get yourself killed." Emmett finished for me.

"No." I argued, "I just have to go back to make sure he never finds out it was you that helped me. Easy."

"Yes, but why?" He still wasn't getting it, "I'm not afraid of some-"

"Don't do that." I shook my head, "That's part of why everything goes so wrong. Because none of you think he's dangerous. You're not afraid of him now because none of you know what he can do. You guys have limits. Places you can't go, things you can't do that he can." I sighed, trying to think of the right way to further explain, "He always told me that if I ever ran away, no matter how far I go, he'll always find me, and I believe him 'cause I've seen it happen.

"I don't care so much about that, but it bugs me that he always finds you guys first. And _that's_ where everything goes wrong. _That's_ where it all starts. If I fix that, I can fix everything, and fixing everything is what I want more than anything else in the world. You can't fix it for me without things going even more wrong. It has to be me."

"Honey," Esme, having been silent this whole time, frowned as she spoke, "Why is this the only solution?"

"It just is." I said, "Letting you guys help me is the wrong way. It's gotta be this way, because I just can't sit back and watch everything fall apart _again_."

Before she could reply, I spotted out the window as the police car drove up.

"Believe me, I know how hard this is on you, but you have to trust me." I said, "I'll tell you everything you wanna know when I can, but for now, I'm out of time. Just trust me." I repeated quietly, making sure my sweater was straight, and heading for the door.

I looked over as Carlisle followed, but everyone else stayed.

I hated that I had to pause on the stairs, struggling to catch my breath in my pain. Being so worked up made all my welts and bruises throb and ache in a too familiar way as the initial adrenaline wore off. Carlisle waited with me, watching as I struggled to catch my breath.

I really didn't want to do this. I really didn't want to go back to that, and I had no doubts that Carlisle knew that. He didn't know me. I was just some random kid that Alice kidnapped the night before, but here I was, fighting so hard to go straight back to hell. All to keep him and his family safe.

"God.." I tried hard to bite back the tears that escaped, "It _hurts_.." I admitted that under my breath, holding tight to the handrail.

"Leandra, you don't have to do this." Carlisle murmured, and I sobbed a small, humorless laugh. He just didn't understand. He had no idea.

"I do." I replied as firmly as I could, "Yes I do. Because I don't wanna live with what goes wrong. Jasper told me once that everything isn't about what I'm willing to live with. It's what I'm not willing to live with. Or something like that."

"That sounds like him." Carlisle nodded a little, "But I'm concerned."

"Don't be." I sniffled hard, wiping my tears away with my sleeve, "It's easier not to if you try not to think about it so much."

"You're asking me to turn a blind eye to someone desperately helpless, forcing herself back to her abusive stepfather." He replied, "That is definitely not something easily done."

I couldn't help smiling a little, my small voice wavering in pain, "Mikah one time called him a 'horribly abusive, raging narcissistic psychopath with sickening homicidal tendencies'."

That was a lot to remember, but I recalled it easily, because I missed his voice so much. I remembered it like I'd just heard it, and I had no doubt that it would always be like that for me with everything he ever told me. Even the memory of Andrew's voice paled in how clear Mikah's had been to me.

"That's even more concerning." Carlisle admitted, his frown deepening.

"I'm just used to it, I guess, because that's funny to me." It was funny to me because it was true, but I wouldn't say that out loud.

"I'm afraid I can't see the humor." He replied, and I tried to smile a little.

"Maybe it was the way he said it." I mumbled with a small shrug, but my smile faded, "I'm really gonna miss Mikah so much."

"He certainly sounds like an interesting individual."

"He was." I replied, and my voice quieted, "Is, I mean. He was my best friend. I'll tell you about him later if you want."

I took a deep breath and straightened up, as the three light knocks came to the front door. I finished descending the stairs, coming to Carlisle's side.

"I just want to make everything okay again. That's all I want." I murmured under my breath before he moved forward and stiffly opened the door.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Dr. Cullen." One of the cops spoke with an apologetic smile.

We stepped outside, and the usual introductions took place, and I couldn't help noticing the others watching from the upper windows. I knew they were all hoping I would change my mind, but in looking up at them, it made more sense why I was doing this.

In a weird way, I wanted them to see how well I was able to lie. To those without those heightened senses, I was a very good liar. Especially now that it was about more than just saving my own skin.

"You're here for me." I mumbled, cutting off whatever the cop was saying.

"Yes, ma'am." He smiled at me, "It seems your stepfather is rather worried."

"I know." I replied, "I just forgot to call home last night. I thought I told him before that I would be here after school yesterday, but I guess not."

I could tell by the cop's expression that he found part of that off. For a split second, I got nervous. What had I said wrong?

"He mentioned you weren't in school yesterday." He told me, and I blanked for a second. Uhh..

"I wasn't." I muttered, thinking fast, "After.. Their school, I meant. I wanted to talk to Alice, and stayed longer than I meant to, I guess." He nodded in understanding now. Even I was surprised at how easy it was for me to look him right in the eye and lie straight to his face. Determination had a lot to do with that, though. I was determined to fix what I'd done by agreeing to come here.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Carlisle look down at me.

I knew him well enough to know how badly he wanted to say something, but I looked up at him. Reminding him with just a look. This was bothering him. A lot.

"What happened there?" The cop asked me, taking my attention again. Right. The bruise on my face. I could tell from his tone he was trying to be relaxed about it, but he was obviously very interested in it.

I recalled my original lie perfectly.

"Cabinet door." I forced a laugh, raising my hand to touch it, "I turned around too fast, and the stupid thing attacked me." I kept my tone and expression as open as I possibly could. Light, relaxed, despite the turmoil inside me.

"Ouch." The cop laughed as well, "I almost did that just last week. It looks like it got you good." I nodded.

"It did." I replied easily, "I've been icing it, though. I think I got lucky."

"You sure did." He agreed, "Good idea with the ice." I nodded, letting that conversation drop.

"You won't tell him where I was, will you?" I asked, "I don't want to get them in trouble because I went over here without telling him." It seemed like a reasonable request.

"I think it'll be alright." He replied with a small smile, "I think he'll just be glad to know you're okay." I nodded a little, so he sighed, "Shall we?"

"Leandra," Carlisle spoke, "A quick word?"

"I'll be over here." The cop smiled a little and turned back for his car. Carlisle crouched in front of me as the cop walked away, but I looked down.

"I know what you're gonna say." I kept my voice quiet, "Believe me, I get it, but.." I glanced over at the cop, "I have to do what I have to do."

"I cannot comfortably allow this." He replied in his own quiet tone, "That degree of abuse-"

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, "I never should have showed you, but I promise that doesn't happen again. Not even close." That seemed to help, "What I'm doing is my own choice. You tried. Everyone tried, but it's not enough to help with what I know."

To his surprise, I put an end to the conversation by hugging him.

As far as I knew, this would be the last I ever saw of him. It was better that way. It was a brief hug, lasting hardly long enough for him to return it before I turned away. I was going to let that be it, but I couldn't.

"Shorty." Emmett came outside, and I looked over in surprise. Alice followed him out as well, and I really started to get nervous. Kneeling down in front of me, he spoke again, thankfully quieter, "Don't do this."

"I know it's hard." I whispered, "But _please_ don't ruin this. I can't get it wrong again." I hated to see the worry in his expression, "I'll be okay, I promise."

"How can you possibly promise that?" He asked.

"I've been okay this long, right?" I asked, and he gave me a flat look.

"You are not okay." He reminded me, so I sighed.

"You know what I mean." I argued, "From here on is just getting me to California. I'll stay for a day or two, and we'll come back, and you'll see." That helped quite a bit. I could tell, "I know what I gotta do. I just gotta stay on his good side 'til then. I know how to do that."

"I'm going to hold you to that." He murmured hesitantly.

"Go ahead." I replied, "Because it's true." He didn't like it, but I could see he wasn't going to blow it for me.

"And when you get back," He said, "We're gonna talk about what you said earlier." I wasn't quite sure which subject he was referring to, but I nodded anyway. Anything to calm him down.

With that, I turned away again. Before the cop could get too suspicious, I crossed the driveway, straight to the cop's car sitting there. I glanced back to see Emmett and Carlisle both stand back up, but that was as far as they moved.

I climbed into the car willingly, watching as he closed the door gently behind me. I took a moment to just breathe while the cop had a few lighthearted words with Carlisle. Apologizing for the mix-up and whatnot. I tried my hardest not to start crying again as I looked out the window at them.

This had to be so hard for them, taking the word of a nine-year-old they barely met, but it was very hard for me as well. Taking this path meant more than they understood, but even I was still trying to wrap my head around it. There was so much they just didn't know.

"Don't follow me." I whispered quietly, but even as those words came free, I knew I would be followed. Especially as Emmett looked over at a very silent Alice standing there with her arms crossed.

I closed my eyes, lightly thumping my head against the window. Letting a tear escape before quickly wiping it away with my palm. I turned away from the window then, just in case more followed.

I left with that cop, despite all of them obviously being against it. They stuck to their side of the agreement, though. They didn't say a word about the bruises or what they knew to be true. Oddly, that relieved me.

I was used to this, weirdly enough. On the outside, I forced my expression to be calm. Almost bored. On the inside, my heart pounded too fast and I felt like throwing up. My thoughts raged through my mind a thousand miles a minute. The entire drive home, I did inventory on the things I remembered, chewing a bit on my lip in my hidden anxiousness as I sorted through everything I remembered. It was hard.

Making sure I was positive that this was the only way. Round and round in my head I went through possible solutions, but it always came back down to one not-so-simple conclusion.

Even if I did get away from Jack, I would never be safe. I could never get back what I lost by waking up. I had to do this, and I had to do it right. Doing it right meant cutting every single tie I had before. It was best for everyone involved if I just kept his attention on me, and left it at that.

That was a tough concept for me to grasp.

 **A/N: First chapter down. I worked hard on this one, and I hope you guys enjoyed it. :)  
Chapter two won't be long out. It just needs a final go-over, and it'll be ready. I do have to say that this story takes a huge twist a bit later on that changes the rest of the series when we come to it. It's a twist I've considered many times in the past, but was always too chicken to take. I'm really hoping it goes well.  
Until then, my wonderful readers, enjoy the ride! (: **


	2. Chapter 2

**ImPORTANT NOTE: Mentions of mild violence in this chapter. Heads up.**

 **Chapter Two**

The cop called ahead. Letting Jack know that everything was fine. I'd been found and he was bringing me back. I was a little grateful that he did that, because it gave me a chance to get used to the idea myself. To really mentally prepare for the fact that Jack would be waiting for me. Of course, I knew that before, but it did help.

Once we got back to the house, I saw Jack standing there, and my thoughts cleared. To me, it had been many years since I'd seen him human, and it was really unsettling. Like seeing the ghost of a person that died a long time ago, though in this case, he'd been turned. His glaring, dark ice-blue eyes filled me with an emotion I couldn't identify. A deep-seeded form of hatred, sadness and fear.

I climbed out of the car, looking back toward the house as I did so. Hesitating just long enough to look back at the trees behind me. I had a certain feeling of being watched, and I knew exactly who it was. I could feel how tired I looked.

I closed the door with a light thud, rounding the back of the car. Arms crossed, clearly human, Jack continued to stand there watching me. It was the strangest feeling, seeing him like this again. It was firm reminder of exactly where I was in my life again.

The familiar hate swelled up inside me, but there was also everything about me that Jack represented. I remembered the rules. Clearly. I walked forward as quickly as I could, straight up to him and hugged him tight. My arms around his waist, just above his hips, as I wasn't much taller than that.

As weird as it was to see him like this, I was also a little grateful. It meant I had an opportunity. Back to square one, a clean slate. From here, I could fix everything I'd done. He had no clue why I was hugging him, but I was grateful for the chance to be back at this point in time. He was warm, just like me. He was human like me. I was going to make sure it stayed that way. I was going to get it right this time.

I could feel his surprise, but for the sake of appearances, he picked me up.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered, "I'm sorry. So sorry." I actually cried. Pretty caught up in how overwhelming everything had been so far today. I also needed him to believe that I _was_ sorry. He was too shocked to reply to me, so he focused on the cop standing there by his car.

"Thank you." Jack told him, "For bringing her home."

"Just doing my job." The cop replied simply, "Just remember to call home from now on, young lady."

"I will." I called back, turning briefly to look back at him.

Jack still had that old familiar smell of cologne that I always hated. I felt like it'd been a thousand years since I'd last smelled this scent. That sharp smell would always be burned in my memory, though. That smell was just as much a part of my past as everything else.

As much as I hated him, he had been right. As weird as it was to admit to myself, he was one that kept every single one of his promises. He was the one constant in my life. He was always square one, familiar. Known. Constant. No matter how far I went in the future, he was always there. My life always centered on him, like I was tied to him and no matter how far I ran, I'd always come back to him.

To someone like me, that meant something.

Once the cop drove away, that was that. The next phase was going to begin as soon as we got inside. Jack turned and carried me back toward the house. I still felt like I was being watched, and I opened my eyes long enough to see vague movement in the shadow of the trees across the driveway.

"Go home." I whispered silently, "You don't wanna be here for this."

I remembered this part clearly.

The second the front door was closed, I braced myself as he dropped me onto my feet. My heart pounding a thousand miles a minute as he grabbed my shoulder, turned me around to face him and shoved me back against the wall with a loud thud. I held my breath, standing stone-still, waiting for him to start beating on me.

I couldn't help it, though. I knew him too well by now to know exactly what was going on. I knew this part.

"I hope you're happy." His tone trembled in his anger, "I really fucking hope you're happy."

I had a choice to make right here.

I was leaning one way, and I really hoped it wouldn't backfire on me. If I just went along with how things were supposed go, I worried that everything else would stay the same. I needed to change things right now, just enough. Right now, he was more focused on the fact that I had been gone, with someone all night when he'd specifically told me to be here when he got back from work. He was thinking more about whoever I'd been with than me.

I needed to change that, to sway his focus back toward me. Tug as hard as I could. I needed to be the one in trouble. What was one sure way to do that? Talk back.

"I _was_ happy," I replied, "Until you called the stupid cops to come get me."

He seemed really surprised that I'd even dare talk to him like that, and it was enough of a distraction for him that I was able to slip out from between him and the wall, continuing on into the house. I tried not to let that scare me.

"Just who in the _fucking hell_ do you think you're talking to?" Jack snapped, his surprise still in his voice as he turned around to look at me.

"You." I answered easily, finding a seat on the couch, "Mom's not here, is she?" His eyes narrowed just a bit.

"We're gonna fucking talk about this in a second, but-"

"No we're not." I snorted, looking down, "You're gonna flip out at me for no reason, just like you always do, and we'll never talk about that." He was still across the room, but I paid close attention in case that looked like that was about to change. I was actually really surprised he hadn't hit me yet.

"You think running off like that is _no fucking reason_?" He gestured to the door, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"You are." I grumbled. Internally, I cringed. I was pushing it, but I needed to lock his attention on me. I needed to be completely sure.

"Repeat that?" He growled, crossing his arms. He was giving me a chance to change what I said. I couldn't do that.

"I said," I stood up again, turning to face him, "You are. You asked me what's wrong with me, so I answered you. _You_ are what's wrong with me! I should ask _you_ the same thing!" He stepped toward me but I stepped back, talking faster now, "Y-You wanna know why I ran away? 'Cause I'm sick of you hitting me all the time! I'm sick of getting hit because you don't like me. I ran away because anywhere is nicer than here, and anyone in the world is nicer than you."

I panted in my anger, and I had more I wanted to say, but I knew I should stop myself. I didn't want to push him too much too fast. I was pretty sure I'd said enough already.

The silence stretched on, and I watched his ice blue eyes for his expression. He studied me for a moment, as if he was trying hard to figure me out, but I knew it was more than that. He was thinking, and that was never a good thing. Eventually, his eyes seemed to harden.

"Okay." He was suddenly too calm, and that worried me. In nervousness, I stared at him as I caught my breath.

"Okay?" I asked, "What's that mean?"

"It means okay." He replied, still way too calm for me having just yelled at him, "It means I see what's going on here. Go get me a beer." I watched him as he moved for the couch, stepping back further out of his reach.

"Why?" I asked, watching as he sat down, "So you can hit me with it?"

"Just go get it." He told me, "I'm not going to hit you with the fucking thing. You think I'd waste beer like that? That shit costs money." I still didn't believe him, but I headed for the kitchen anyway, glancing back at him the whole way. I reached into the fridge, void of anything but beer, and grabbed one.

He was still sitting down when I peeked back into the living room, so I hesitantly brought it over. I crossed the thin carpet of the living room, nervously gripping the cold glass bottle.

"Let me tell you a little story." He said as he took it from me. He opened it before he looked pointedly at me, "Sit." So I sat. Stiffly perched on the edge of the cushion as I watched him. Ready to run in a second's notice.

He offered me the open beer, but I shook my head. Leaning away from it. He smirked, and sipped from it himself as he sat back in his seat.

"When your mom and I first got together," He started, "Right after your fucking dad took off, she was like you. I see a lot of her in you."

"You do?" I hesitantly asked.

"Yeah." He nodded, "I do. She was.. Stubborn, I guess you could say. I actually had to work a little harder to get her to trust me. Especially with you." I knew all of this already, so I stayed quiet. I still wasn't sure where he was going with all of this.

"Is she the only one you treated like that?" Of course I knew the answer to that, but I was trying to distract him from whatever was on his mind and whatever he was getting at.

He looked over, falling silent for a heavy few seconds, "That's not the point."

"Sorry." I mumbled, looking down. I would just have to let him talk.

"As I was fucking saying," He went on, "Every now and then, especially these last few days, you get that same spark in your eye she used to have. You and her are a lot alike." He offered me the beer again, and again, I shook my head. He shrugged and went on, "For example, you get under my skin. Just like she did. You're stubborn, just like she was. You know what that tells me?"

I hesitated, "What?"

"It tells me that I'm not trying hard enough." Shit. He went on, "She learned, though, and so will you."

"She left you, though."

"I know that." He muttered stiffly, "And her doing that taught you that that shit is okay. Which it's not. Believe me, I'm gonna find that bitch. I'm gonna hunt her down, no matter how fucking far she runs from me, but for now.. Well, you know what?" He didn't wait for me to reply. Reaching over, he grabbed a painful hold of the back of my neck and jerked me closer to him, "For now, I've got _you_ to worry about. For now, you're _my_ problem." He held the beer up to me again pointedly, and I shook my head as much as I could, wincing in pain.

"She was the same way." He growled holding me tighter, "Stubborn.. Set in her ways.. She didn't want it at first either, and she just needed a little _push_ , so here. I'll help you."

With that, he released my neck and pinned me hard against his side with his upper arm and elbow hooked now around my neck. With the same hand, he held my face still. He forced the opening of the bottle passed my lips and dumped quite a bit in before I could even think about reacting. In a panic, I swallowed as quickly as I could before I choked. Immediately, my empty stomach burned unpleasantly, and I started to fight.

He pulled the bottle back when I choked to hard on it, setting it to the side and releasing me long enough to stand up. Shaking the escaped liquid off his hand as he watched me attempt to breathe again.

When I got a good breath in, he kneeled down in front of me on the floor, pinning me back down on the couch and reaching for the beer bottle again. I writhed, kicking at him, though.

"Stop it!" I coughed at him, which only made him more mad. He brought the bottle to himself, pinning my hands against my stomach with his free hand. I gasped for breath, fighting with my hands and continuing to kick at him until he moved closer, pinning one of my knees against the couch with his stomach, and capturing my other ankle underneath his arm. He still had a free hand to bring the bottle closer.

The pressure against my stomach made it extremely hard to breathe, and it hurt quite a bit. His weight made it impossible to get away.

This was what I hated most about waking up, coming back here. How completely helpless I was against him. Remembering being older. Remembering being bigger and stronger, but right then, that strength was just nowhere to be found. I would have given him a much bigger fight if I'd still been older. He wouldn't have such an easy time overpowering me.

He dumped a bit more into my mouth, but I spit it out right at him. I knew before I did it that I shouldn't do it, but I couldn't help it. He'd never done this before, so I was reacting instinctively to a brand new situation.

The solid slap to the side of my head made me think twice about doing that again.

I knew continuing to fight would just make me choke again, and probably hurt even more, so I hated it, but I cooperated.

He dumped the rest into my mouth, and to avoid getting hit, I finished it the best I could. He kept me pinned, though, not trusting my cooperation. Laughing to himself the whole time.

"There." He said, standing up and tossing the empty bottle onto the chair, "That ought to settle your fucking ass down." His shirt was soaked in it, but he didn't even seem to care. I was covered in it as well, but I did care. The smell of it all over me would have bothered me more, if I wasn't feeling so sick.

My stomach turned, but unfortunately, not in the way that would make me throw up right away. I closed my eyes as the dizziness almost immediately started to make my head spin, fighting to keep my tears back. Everything I felt now was scary.

"Now get your ass up." He barked, and I looked up at him, "Because you felt like little miss tough shit, you know what that gets you?" I didn't move, so he sighed, "Come on, bitch. Get up before it has a chance to kick in."

When I still didn't move, he growled to himself, reaching out and grabbing my arm. Hauling me off the couch and over his shoulder. His shoulder painfully dug into my stomach, and as much as I wanted to throw up, I knew throwing up on him would have been a really bad idea.

"Jack.." I whimpered, trying to warn him, "Put me down."

He laughed, "No."

"I think I'm gonna puke."

Thankfully, he listened. He swung me up, off his shoulder and dropped me onto the hard kitchen floor. All forty-eight pounds of me landed hard on my back, knocking the breath from me as the shock of pain stabbed down my spine and my head hit the floor. Being disoriented like that worked in my favor, though. It distracted me from the vomit threatening to race up my throat.

When I didn't move on my own, he reached down, grabbing me by my shirt and literally dragging me across the floor toward the bathroom. The transition from cold linoleum onto rough carpet hurt a bit once we reached the little alcove just beside the kitchen, but I was focusing hard on not vomiting everywhere.

I took over once I made it back onto the cold linoleum inside the bathroom, scrambling for the toilet, making him jump out of the way. I made it just in time.

"Damn," He snapped as he returned to the doorway, "Let me fucking move first." I couldn't reply so he laughed, "You're such a lightweight. You definitely look like your mama now." I lowered my head, trying to get my bearings back, but it wasn't working, so I just cried. I was practically laying over the seat in my attempt to hold on.

"Crawl your ass out when you're done." He left the room, leaving me to my violent dizziness and pain.

I squeezed my eyes shut, clutching my stomach. My stomach hurt so bad. Not just nausea, but actual pain in the inside. It felt pinched and squeezed. I'd felt this before, over the last few days, but I paid it more attention now. I always figured it was just the bruises messing with me.

Opening my eyes made my head spin worse, so it was better just to leave them closed. Just sitting there, I actually doubted my ability to even crawl without falling over. I might have choked on some beer, but I swallowed most of it, so it hit my empty stomach like a ton of bricks.

I just couldn't understand why anyone would choose to put themselves through this by drinking. With the pain and the nausea, came the cold sweats and the shivers. The dizziness. I found nothing at all positive about feeling like I couldn't even control my own body anymore. I couldn't even see straight, much less walk or run away. This was scary.

"Hurry it up in there." Jack pounding on the door made me jump, swaying a little where I kneeled. I opened my eyes long enough to push myself back, kneeling upright now and searching for the handle to flush, but dark red caught my attention in the water below me, contrasting brightly against the cold white of the toilet. I stared at it, a sinking feeling making me feel smaller as I realized that it was blood I was looking at. It was hard to focus, but it was definitely a scary sight.

It wasn't a huge amount, but any blood is enough to be worrisome. Isn't blood supposed to stay inside the body? It scared me to see that, because I knew throwing up blood wasn't a good sign. In my current state, I couldn't for the life of me figure out why I'd be throwing up blood.

Maybe it was just a one time thing. Maybe. I'd been feeling sick since I woke up in my room the other day, but this was the first time I'd thrown up since then. Had this been building up since then?

I reached for the handle to flush. I didn't even feel myself falling forward until I hit my face on the edge of the seat and fell over. I managed to flush it though before I hit the floor.

It hurt to move, so when Jack walked in at the sound, I couldn't even roll over to look at him. I mostly just wanted to sleep. Forgetting all about pretty much everything but how I felt. His chuckle sounded loud to me, so I finally rolled halfway onto my back.

"Now this is more like it." He nodded to himself, "I'd love to see you get anywhere like this."

My only response was puffing a strand of hair out of my face.

"Come on." He laughed at me, bending over and picking me up easily. Stepping out of the bathroom with me limply laying in his arms, he turned left and kicked my bedroom door open. Walking in, he dumped me on my bed. As soon as I landed on the cold mattress I hated so much, I started to cry.

"I'll come get you tonight." He told me on his way out.

"I _hate_ you!" I had no idea how I even managed to say that, but that actually made him pause and look back at me.

"Really?" He was smiling.

"Yes!" I replied with as much force as I could manage, " _God_ I _hate_ you so much!" He walked back in, and I didn't even have enough reaction in me to flinch as he grabbed my leg and rolled me over onto my back. He leaned over me, both hands on the mattress on either side of me.

"Tell me again." He told me, but I just cried now. He bounced me roughly, "Say it again."

"I hate you." I told him through my teeth.

"Again." He smiled wider, and I really couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"I hate you!" I shouted at him again, and he chuckled.

"What?" He asked. He was just playing with me, "Come on. You've got more in you than that."

"I _hate_ you!" I screamed it at him now, kicking my legs weakly at him, "I fucking hate you! I hate you, I hate you, _I hate you_! I wish you would die! Just go die already! I wish I could kill you myself! I hate your stupid face, I hate your stupid voice, I hate the way you _smell_ , I hate everything about you!"

"Good!" He shouted right back at me, "Now we're fucking getting somewhere!"

I should have known he would love to hear that from me. I _hated_ that smirk on his face. I hated him more than I ever have. Without thinking, I reached up and laid a hate-fueled slap against his face. The sound startled me into flinching my arm back as I looked up at him.

Well, he lost the smirk, but the glare that replaced it was worse. I could see a faint outline of my fingers against his cheek, so I'd hit him hard enough to leave a mark on his skin.

What in the living hell did I just do?

That question crawled sluggishly through my mind half a second before the solid fist landed against my stomach. Knocking the breath right out of me in a cry.

"Don't you _ever_ do that again." He growled, gripping my jaw painfully. As bad as my stomach hurt, my face was hurting more, so both my hands came up to try to pry his hand loose. Sobbing, despite my efforts to stop it. He shook me a little, his teeth clenched, "Understand me, bitch? You don't raise a fucking finger to me."

I just sobbed pathetically through as much of a nod as I could manage. I couldn't exactly speak with his hand squeezing my jaw to near breaking point. The more I tried to pry his hand off, the worse the pain got.

"Good." He hissed, his other hand coming up and gripping my hair tightly, "Because if you _ever_ do that again.." He trailed off, and at first I couldn't figure out why he didn't finish that. He paused at first, before he released me roughly and moved quickly for the window.

I didn't care why he let me go. All I cared about is the fact that I could now roll over to curl up. I was hurting in so many places at once, it was hard to concentrate. I was one big hurt, and I should have been used to that, but that was something not easily adjusted to.

Whatever it was he was doing suddenly didn't matter anymore. He returned to me, gripping my hair again forcing me back onto my back.

"Get the fuck up." Giving me one more firm slap, he peeled me up off the bed. Practically dragging me off the bed and through the room and out into the hallway.

I couldn't keep up as well as he wanted me to, so he reached down and picked me up once again, laying me back over his shoulder. Making my head spin worse with how quickly he moved me. I sobbed the whole way, clutching the back of his shirt in my fists as he carried me into the living room.

He made a quick stop to grab the pad lock off the hook by the front door. Grumbling threats as he headed back through the kitchen. Toward the back door.

I laid limply now, sobbing and defeated as he made it down the steps. I knew right where he was going, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. Even if I could see straight.

"You know as well as I fucking do that you deserve this." Jack told me over my hate-filled sobs. Flipping me back onto my unsteady feet onto the dirt outside, he took my face hard between his hands and looked into my eyes before I could even look around. Holding me up by my head when my legs gave out, leaning down and pulling me close to his face at the same time. I felt the hate leave my eyes as a pleading look replaced it. My hands came up and placed themselves on his wrists, trying to lessen the strain on my neck by holding on.

"I know." His voice was quiet now. I hated his quiet voice more than his yelling one, and this was a very forceful reminder of that fact.

"Please.." I cried now, and he and I both knew what I was begging him for, "I'm sorry." I whimpered, and he laughed.

"Don't be." He said, "It won't do you any good to be sorry. _God_ , I wish we had more time, just so I could leave you in here for a fucking week, you ungrateful little fucking bitch. I think a few hours in the box should cool you off, though. I'll come get you tonight."

He released me long enough for me to fall to my knees beside him, as he lifted open the lid. While he was turned, I attempted to crawl away, but I really didn't get far. My fingers dragged through the dirt as he easily grabbed my ankle and dragged me back.

Releasing my ankle, he gripped my upper arm painfully, digging his fingers into my skin to the point where I could feel each individual bruise I'd get.

His other arm lifted me around the waist, even as I kicked and fought, and he dumped me roughly into the small wooden structure, slamming the lid shut loudly. I heard the lock go on before I could even recover from landing nearly head first onto the soil below me, and started to cry harder.

It was dark in here, daylight only making it through in a few spots, so I couldn't look around myself yet. I knew there had to be at least a few bugs or spiders in here. Not to mention the smell of damp earth and mold nearly choking me. It wasn't a very big box. Not enough room to stand in, but I could kneel up and move around if I had to.

I hated it in here. It terrified me, and he knew that.

He walked away. What I could hear over the sound of my cries, was his chuckle and seconds later, the back door slamming shut. I couldn't help it. I curled into a tight ball on my side in the dirt, and my tears continued. I hugged my knees, and they muffled my cries as they squeezed from me.

I'd _almost_ forgotten just how much I hated it in here. The smell hurt my nose and made my eyes burn a little, as it was strong. Damp earth, gasoline somewhere around here, and just a little bit of mold. I knew that laying like this was just making the dirt stick to my tear-stained cheeks, but I really didn't see a reason to sit up. Even if I could.

I weakly coughed a few times in residual stomach pain, but that was about it. I started to mentally prepare myself for staying in here for hours, my tears slowing with a few sniffles.

It got worse remembering that Alice was around here somewhere. She had listened in, and heard everything. I tried to make myself feel proud for standing up to Jack that way, but I really wasn't. I felt shame, and I was quite embarrassed at my failed attempts. I used to be tougher.

Coming back to this time took from me more than my age. My resilience was lower, my strength was gone. Maybe that was part of the reason why I was doing this. Maybe I was doing this because I was so sick of coming back here, and I needed to get it right this time. I wasn't sure, but it made it a bit harder, knowing Alice was here.

"Leandra." I heard her voice outside as if my thoughts had called her, "Hang on." I opened my eyes in the dark.

"No." I sniffled loudly, "Don't open it. I have to stay in here."

"Why?" She demanded, her voice muffled. I looked around, knowing where her voice was coming from. It was coming from behind the box, nearest the trees. At least she was trying to stay out of sight.

"Leandra." She sounded so worried when I didn't answer right away.

"She can't stay in there." Carlisle was here too, to my surprise. That, I hadn't been expecting.

"I have to." I said, "I have to stay in here until he comes to get me tonight. After that, we'll leave for California. He _can't_ think anything is off." My stomach turned painfully, but at least I had finally caught my breath.

"Well what do you want me to do?" Alice asked, "I can't just leave you in there."

"Just.. Keep me company?" I paused for a quick look around me, and I couldn't help my voice growing small, "It's dark in here. I hate the dark so much."

That had never changed. It usually took me years to get passed this fear, but that was purely because my own mind loved to play tricks on me. My darkest memories were in the dark. The worst moments of my life were surrounded in the dark.

"I've got an idea." Alice replied, "Hold on." I waited, biting my lip as I looked around myself once more. Very carefully, one of the thick boards along the back of the box was pulled loose. Not only allowing daylight into the box, but allowing me to see her and Carlisle behind her. I blinked in the light that came through.

"I can put it back if I have to." She assured me and I nodded, "Come closer."

"I can't." I whimpered, laying my head back down in the dirt. I knew it took her a moment to figure out that I wasn't just being stubborn. I physically couldn't. I'd likely hurt myself trying, and I just wanted everything to stop spinning. Laying still gave me the smallest bit of stability. Feeling the earth under my cheek made me feel more secure.

"Did he make you drink that?" She demanded. I knew they smelled it on me at least, but I was still afraid to answer, so I stayed quiet, leaving my eyes closed, "Leandra?"

"Just stay with me?" I requested quietly, just resting now. I really wanted to fall asleep, but I was so afraid to. I listened to three more boards being carefully pulled away, thankful for the small breeze that made it into the box.

I opened my eyes probably a minute later to being scooped up gently off the ground.

"I'm telling you," Alice was the one that carried me, "It was so hard not to go in there." She had to crouch really low with me in her arms as she carefully carried me toward the back of the box.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, stirring a little in her arms.

"Please don't apologize, Leandra." She told me, and she continued on. Ducking outside through the back of the box, drenching me in fresh air and cloudy daylight. She sighed, setting me gently on the ground behind the box, "I just don't quite understand why you're putting yourself through this."

I knew back here we were hidden from view of the house, so I willingly curled up on my side, my back facing the back of the box and my hand over my stomach as I closed my eyes, breathing slowly.

"If you knew what I knew," I whimpered, "You would do the same thing. I would say to get Edward, so he could tell you what I can't, but he wouldn't be able to keep from going in there and killing him."

"That sounds like him." She sighed, gently smoothing my hair and dirt from my face, "I'm having a hard enough time not going in there myself." The cool breeze made my head spin worse.

"It's okay." I mumbled, "It's okay. It's working."

"When was the last time you saw yourself?" She asked skeptically.

"Umm.." I couldn't think far enough to answer that.

"Where did the new bruise come from, Leandra?" She asked gently. Why did she even have to ask at this point?

"Which?" I frowned, confused. Lightly, she touched my cheek. I recalled what had happened there, "I fell." She sighed, so I went on, "No, I actually did this time. I guess I don't have that good of balance right now, and I fell forward too fast after I threw up."

I jumped a little at Jasper's sudden, silent arrival, so I just closed my eyes again. I felt too sick to be startled.

"What-" He cut off, and didn't finish that question, falling quiet as Alice smoothed my hair again. I focused on my shallow breathing, trying to get my bearings back. Jasper's subtle growl told me he figured out exactly what was wrong with me. I sincerely hoped he could resist going in there.

"How long are you going to be in California?" Alice asked me quietly, which I appreciated. Questions made this seem less nerve-wracking.

"I don't know." I admitted, sniffling, "Before, I was only there a few days before Jack got mad. That's when I ran away and called Carlisle. I can't do that this time."

"Why did you run away?" She asked.

"Because of Ken." I whimpered, frowning with my eyes closed, "He's worse than Jack, but in a different way. I know Jack's not gonna leave me there. I know it. It's gonna be different this time."

"Leandra, why don't you let us call someone for you?" Carlisle asked.

"It won't do any good." I admitted quietly, "If you guys can't protect me, what makes you think a bunch of stupid humans can? I'm not sure how he does it, but he can get away with anything." I sighed, "I just.. Don't know why I keep coming back here. Last time I had a harder time remembering everything, so I think I'm getting used to it. Before a few days ago, this hasn't ever happened to me before."

"Sometimes trauma can accelerate the development of an ability." Carlisle answered, "Was anything different about his last beating?"

"Not really." I mumbled, "It's always been that way. Well, I mean, not always, 'cause he couldn't do that when I was little."

"I'm not sure I can do this." Jasper murmured, and I looked over at him and Alice.

"You have to." I replied, "This part has to stay the same. The change comes later. He's mad at me now, but he'll calm down. He always does." I sighed, fidgeting a little with a frown, "My stomach hurts."

"Pain, or nausea?" Carlisle asked.

"Both." I mumbled.

"Has he done more than beat you?" Carlisle asked, and I knew what he was asking. His tone gave away the meaning behind the question. I also knew why he would ask that question now, but stupidly, I'd thought I had more time before I would have to answer that.

I held my breath for a second, refusing to look over at him. It was still so hard to admit that part to anyone, so I laid in silence. They didn't know. They had no idea yet just how bad it could get for me.

"What do you mean?" Deflect the question, but I knew my sudden nervousness had to let them know that I knew exactly what he meant. That, and the way I curled a little tighter into a ball was a dead give-away.

Had I been prepared for that question to come, I might have been able to pretend that the answer actually was no. Inwardly, I kicked myself. I should have known he'd ask if I complained about my stupid stomach hurting.

"I need to know." Carlisle told me quietly, "He may have seriously injured you." I fell quiet again, hating the way my heart pounded just a bit too quickly.

After all this time, this was still something I fought with. That seemed to be a common thing. Every bit of progress I make recovery wise during a vision was, for the most part, erased when I woke up again. I still feared everything, but my determination was something I didn't have before, so it helped me now.

But the fear was still there. Of this subject in particular. I hated it. With everything I was, and mentally, I knew it was stupid to be afraid of just answering a stupid question. However, knowing that it was stupid didn't help me.

"Leandra?" Carlisle prompted gently. Swallowing nervously, I took a hitching breath. It used to be okay for me to tell them, but things were different now. If I couldn't keep them in my life, I couldn't risk telling them about this part. They'd already seen the bruises, but this was a whole different thing. If I ever let them see just a hint of the darkness I protected, they would probably never leave me.

I finally found my voice, "No. No, that's not why."

Alice leaned forward, and one glance told me she didn't believe me.

"Leandra." She spoke firmly, so I closed my eyes.

"I said that's not why." I replied, and I thought I sounded a bit more believable, but not to her. I glanced over at Carlisle, and he was the only one who seemed to understand what I was saying.

Alice shook her head, "We need you to trust us-"

"Stop." I whispered, my choked voice hardly making a sound as I looked over at her, "I can't tell, but.. _That's_.. Not why. It's not why my stomach hurts." I opened my eyes, looking up at Carlisle, "That doesn't really hurt me anymore. He's careful."

I looked over sharply as Jasper stood up, but thankfully, Alice stopped him.

"No." She told him, pulling him back down beside her. She leaned close to him and spoke quietly, but I couldn't hear what she was saying to him. I still watched him nervously, until I was sure he wasn't about to storm in there and kill him.

"How long has it been going on?" Carlisle asked, and I hesitated once more.

"Couple years, I guess." I answered, "But that's not-"

" _Years_?" Jasper snapped lightly, and I looked over at him, "How many?" I didn't answer that one, falling quiet as I looked away again.

"I can't allow this." Carlisle sighed quietly. I struggled to push myself upright. It was slow, but I managed to with Carlisle's help.

"You have to." I countered, "He's already made plans for me, and.. I-I wasn't supposed to tell. If anything happens to him, he'll know. He'll know I told. Then he'll have even more of a reason to kill me."

"I can fix that right now." Jasper offered.

"No you can't." I argued, "You can't-"

"I'm not against Carlisle taking you in." Jasper cut that off, "If it means you'll be safe."

" _No_." I repeated firmly, "Don't you get it? This is how everything goes wrong. Even if you do kill Jack, and even if you kill Ken.. It's not just Jack looking for me, remember?"

"Aro." Alice recalled, and I nodded.

"I'd rather die than go with him too." I mumbled, "I don't want to help him. The things he can do.." I trailed off quietly, shaking my head, "You guys could get into trouble just for talking to me, even if you never told me anything. If you take me in, it.. Well, it sort of backs us into a corner, and if I can keep you guys from knowing what that's like too, then.. I will. I have to. I don't wanna put you guys on his bad side, and once he knows about me and what I can do, that's all that'll happen 'cause I won't go with him."

I took a breath, my voice getting quieter, "You can't save me your way, and you can't save me the human way. I don't have a way out."

"There's always a way." Alice argued.

"Not for me." I corrected, "No matter how hard I try, everything gets all messed up. All of this will be for nothing because Jack will know it's you trying to help me. It has to be done right. I won't get another chance at this."

They were quiet now.

"If this is too hard for you guys," I mumbled, "Then you should just leave now. Just forget you ever saw me. Let me do this on my own. I'll be okay."

"We're not leaving you." Alice replied, shaking her head, "If you're going to put yourself through this, we'll be going through it with you." I wasn't surprised that she would say that.

"But if you can't handle it-"

"We'll handle it." Alice said, and I looked over, "As much as I hate seeing you like this, I understand how important it is to you to change what you saw. Believe me."

"I honestly don't know." Carlisle sighed again.

"Just.." Alice murmured, "Promise me he will lay off."

I nodded easily, "He calms down once we leave for California. He doesn't smack me around or anything like that. He's actually kinda nice to me."

"Okay." She replied with a small sigh.

"It's Ken I gotta worry about." I admitted, realizing as I was saying it that I shouldn't have said it.

"You said he's worse." Jasper prompted, and I looked down, "How?"

"I don't wanna tell you." I muttered.

"That's always a good sign." Alice murmured sarcastically.

"Why not?" Jasper asked.

"You're already having a hard time." I said, "I'll be okay, but.." I trailed off. He seemed to understand, "I mean.. Heather wouldn't let anything happen to me."

"Heather?" Carlisle asked.

"I can talk about her." I nodded, "She's Jack's sister. She's there too with her two kids and husband. She does what she can for me, because she knows what Ken is like. She grew up with him."

"I see." Carlisle replied, and I took that as an okay.

"She's really nice." I added quietly, "I like her a lot. I kinda can't wait to see her again. She was actually a pretty big part of my life before."

"I'll be honest," Carlisle murmured, "I'm feeling quite apprehensive about letting this continue."

"She wouldn't be going through this if it didn't mean more to her than anything." Alice explained for me, "I know it's hard, but we have to trust her. She knows what needs to be done. We'll just do what we can to be here for her through the process."

"Thank you." I mumbled as sincerely as I could.

"This isn't just about her gift anymore, Alice." Jasper murmured, "We need to consider the danger she's putting herself in by doing this."

"I would rather be able to be here for her," Alice replied softly, "Than to force her hand and have her turn on us. Believe me, I know it's difficult, but.. Don't you think she deserves just one person in her life she can trust?"

"I would rather she be safe." He answered honestly, "She can hate me all she wants to. I know one day she'll thank me."

"No I won't." I piped up, "You don't know how important it is for me to fix this right now. I can't do it any other way. I've tried, and I'm tired."

"What about Heather?" Alice asked, "You said you liked her. Maybe they'll make an exception, and send you to her."

"Aro, remember?" I asked, "He's not really that good at keeping humans alive if they're in the way of what he wants, and I _don't_ want him to use them against me, 'cause he will if he has to. Just like he uses you against me." She looked down, and I knew I was right, "Besides. You would have to kill both of them for them to do that, and I don't want that. That's wrong."

"I have to disagree." Jasper grumbled, but he didn't say anything else.

With that, they fell quiet. They might not have trusted my judgement, but they trusted Alice. Without her here, I knew they wouldn't have been able to hold out this long.

My stomach only continued to hurt. Aching in a very unfamiliar way. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't tell them about it. I concentrated on the internal pain, and it made me feel impossibly alone. Sitting with three of the people that meant the most to me in the world, and I resigned myself to suffering in silence.

I opened my eyes again, unable to look at any of them in an attempt to hide my tears. Looking up at the cloudy sky, the chilly breeze crawling over the clammy skin of my face. I thought about the things we had just talked about.

I wondered if there maybe was something different about the last beating Jack had given me. Carlisle had said that gifts could be brought forward faster following a traumatic event. All of these visions started the same night of the last beating, and I knew I felt different. I still hurt the same way I always did, but there was a difference in me now.

Only actually a few nights ago now, I recalled easily the beating that had left me bleeding on my bedroom floor. All because I had run from him. The sounds of that night echoed fresh in my mind, and with a brief stab of fear, I recalled what I had seen when I threw up earlier. That was connected.

Maybe that's what it was. That was what was different. Like a slap to the face, it suddenly occurred to me, and it was a scary realization. It was just something I could tell. A feeling I had.

I was dying. Jack had finally gone too far with the last beating.

Something inside me was wrong, and it suddenly made sense why I kept going through this, over and over coming back to this point in my life. My mind knew I was in trouble. My gift was trying to warn me by trying desperately to find a safe direction to send me, but it was confused. I was confused.

I looked over and up at Carlisle, and in a split second, I knew he could see it. My fear. It became painfully clear to me that I'd literally be trading my life to protect them. If I was already throwing up blood, then I knew I probably didn't have much time left, and the next few days would prove to be even more challenging. It was about to get a whole lot harder.

I couldn't let them know, though. I had to do this right. If I told them, then they would put a stop to what I was doing immediately. I couldn't do both. If I could pull this off, Jack would never suspect them, and I could protect them.

That was better than dying over nothing.

 **A/N: Chapter two down. :)  
THANK YOU! To my reviewer of last chapter! :) I've really missed reading your responses. A quick note in reply to your review.. It wasn't intentional at the time, but it definitely is now lol  
Today RL is going to be quite busy, but thankfully, chapter three is already written out. It just needs a final go over, and I can release it on time tomorrow. :)  
Until tomorrow, my beautiful readers!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Carlisle had seen my fear, but he had no idea what had caused it. I needed to be a better liar this time. The longer I could keep them from finding out, the better. I just needed a little bit of time to do what I needed to do.

So I looked away, closing my eyes again. I sniffled, carefully shifting so I could lay back down. I was so tired, I felt like I could sleep for days. The unending dizziness didn't help. I just forced my thoughts in a less distressing direction. I forced myself to stop thinking about what would no doubt be happening to me later on.

About the third yawn I let escape, Alice spoke again.

"Leandra," She murmured, and I opened my eyes to look up at her, "Is there anything we need to know right now?" At first, I worried she'd caught on, but studying her expression, I figured it out. She meant about the vision.

"I'll tell you." I mumbled, resting my eyes once more, "But just what you should know right now. Remember, we had a deal. And don't think the rest changes just 'cause this part will change. It won't."

"I know." She assured me, so I took a breath.

"The baseball thing I was talking about earlier." I said, "Don't do it. 'Least not with Bella. The others.. The other vampires hear you. That's not the problem." I hesitated, taking another breath, "Umm.. I don't know what happens, 'cause I'm not there, but I just know from what you told me that that one of them is a.. Tracker, I think you said.. And the way Edward gets all protective of her sets him on her."

"Noted." Alice replied.

"Are you sure?" Carlisle asked.

"I'm sure." I replied, "Just wait on it, okay?"

At his silence, Alice spoke to me again, "Anything else?"

I hummed quietly in thought. Searching my mind.

"I don't think so." I finally replied, "At least for now. That, and the whole.. Don't answer the phone thing.. I know Carlisle's number by heart, so that could get me into trouble."

"You've never seen it." Alice murmured. So I recited it. Without missing a beat, opening my eyes to see her reaction. That was clearly it. She seemed so amazed at everything I could remember. I knew exactly why that was, too. I recalled the differences in our abilities easily.

She had a broader view, but they were limited to key points. My visions only involved myself and people I'd interact with eventually, but almost limitless in what I could see. I could only see for myself, but I had a much deeper understanding of everything that happens in the vision. She just didn't know that about me yet.

"I remembered it a long time ago." I told her, "It changes in a couple months when we move to New York, but I know that one too. His is the only number I know, though. It was the only one I had to remember, because I knew he'd always be there."

A lengthy silence followed while I laid there with my eyes closed. I had quite a bit on my mind as it was. The pain in my stomach, as well as along my sides and back now and then hitched my breathing when I breathed too deeply.

Every breath I took, though, made me feel like I wanted to throw up. I was miserable, but it was tolerable. I just desperately needed to rest. To get through whatever the beer was making me go through. It was pretty hard to think, but I wished whatever this was was over with so I could know which part of this misery would be sticking around.

How did I not know about this before? This was a pretty massive detail that both of those visions left out, but then I thought about it. At some point, in both visions, I'd gone through something involving bleeding inside. In fact, this was how I was turned during the first vision. This same thing, except a whole lot worse.

I shuttered, remembering that whole scene. Cringing internally. Just thinking about all of that was upsetting enough without knowing exactly what happened next. It was such a nightmare.

It was strange, thinking back that far. Like remembering a whole different person.

"Are you cold?" Alice asked me.

"A little." I admitted, "But I'm used to it." Carlisle ignored that last bit, removing his jacket and laying it over me. I wanted to tell him not to worry about it, but I didn't bother. It was a small gesture, but it meant a lot to me. I curled up under it, a little surprised at exactly how much room I had under it. It was so hard to be so small again.

"This really sucks." I admitted with a small sigh, flipping up one side of the jacket and letting it fall back down, "I used to be able to fit this thing. It would be big, but not _this_ big."

They knew what I meant.

"That must be so confusing." Alice offered.

"Not anymore." I sniffled a little in left over emotion, "It was pretty confusing the first time. _Really_ confusing. Now it just pisses me off. I gotta go through all that crap again." If I lived that long. I left that last part out.

"I still can't believe how much you've seen." She said, obviously very interested in that. I smiled a tiny bit.

"Eight years." I said, "Twice."

"Twice?" She asked, and I realized I never explained to them exactly what was going on in my mind. They knew very little.

"I remember both." I explained quietly, "Remember when I said I didn't remember where I knew you guys from when I first showed up? That was from the first vision the other night. I lived a long time in that one. The one last night was a little shorter, but I'm _so_ glad I woke up when I did. That one didn't end so good."

"What changed?" Jasper asked.

"For me," I replied, "I guess my mind grew. At first, it was really hard to even think about trying to remember everything, but the whole time I was stuck in last night's vision, my head would hurt. I think that was me making more room to remember more stuff. Now it doesn't hurt to remember things, and I remember _every_ thing. It just makes me sad."

I paused for a breath, before going on.

"Everything else.." I hesitated, "I dunno. Lots of things. Lots of little things changes the bigger things." Alice nodded a little, so I went on, "But sometimes, even though some of the bigger things change, a lot of the little things would stay the same, and it's.. It's hard to really tell you how different those two visions were, but still a lot the same."

"I understand." She nodded again.

"Something you don't know yet." I mumbled, "Something I learned this time, is our gifts are the same, but different."

"I'm gathering that." She murmured.

"You can see for other people." I said, "I can't. I just see for me." I paused, "And Aro too, I guess, but that's different. Because I can only see for me, I see things more than you do."

"How do you mean?" She asked, honestly curious.

"When I see things," I explained, "I live them. Everything is as real to me as right now is to you. I can't tell that it's just a dream until I wake up. For all I know, this could be one. I just don't know."

"Where were you when you woke up?" I knew what she was asking.

"With Jack." I replied, "He had a gift. One you don't want him to have, so trust me. Stay away from the three other vampires."

"How do they tie into Jack?" She asked. This was a little more complicated of an answer, so I stayed quiet for a moment to think. I forced my eyes to open, as leaving them closed made it too tempting to fall asleep.

"Well.." I finally mumbled, looking over at her, "When the one hunts Bella, you guys kill him. He has a girlfriend that's _really_ pissed about that. So she finds someone else to help her make an army of newborn vampires in Seattle. You guys don't know about it until it's too late to stop it."

"I see." Carlisle frowned.

"You guys thought you had to clear them up yourselves, so Aro won't come looking around." I went on, "But that's not the part I'm talking about. Jack doesn't get a hold of me like he wants to. _Almost._ I would have been a goner if Edward wasn't there. Anyway, so he goes to hide away in Seattle. He gets bit there, and turned, but he doesn't want to be a part of that army. He thinks he's more.. Umm.. Useful on his own. It's all connected."

"And what was his gift?" Alice asked quietly.

"He strengthens bonds." I replied, "I don't know that much about it. I can't remember the word you guys used, but.. It's a little like what Chelsea can do, but only for himself. He can turn people against someone else, and turn them for himself. He did it to me twice and believe me, it sucks."

"You know Chelsea?" Carlisle asked, obviously surprised.

"I was there." I replied pointedly, "I know all of them over there. It's not like I could just tell Aro no, no matter how much I wanted to, but that's a long story. But.. Last time, you took me to Chelsea to try to fix what Jack did. It worked, but only a little. So Jack had something to build on when he got me back again after I had the baby."

"You were pregnant?" Alice asked sadly.

"Both times." I replied, "But the last time was.. Well, that's a really long story that I don't really want to talk about right now. It hurts my head just thinking about it. There's a lot I would have to tell you first."

"Okay." She said, "You don't have to right now." I nodded, appreciating that.

I left my eyes closed, grateful to be warming up. In the silence that followed, I fought back the heavy emotion at all I was giving up.

This time was different, and the realization that I was dying slowly scared me. I was so afraid I wouldn't have enough time, but I had to believe that I'd make it just long enough to fix everything. None of it had to happen. Nothing had to go wrong for them. The need to make things right was all I had. It outweighed everything, even the temptation of giving in and letting them help me again.

I couldn't do that, but I couldn't help the small sob. Knowing now that fighting so hard to get them back wasn't the way it was supposed to go. That even now, I shouldn't be letting them back into my life, and to help them, I would eventually have to say goodbye. I would only have them in my life long enough to tell them that everything was okay now. That I had fixed it. After that, if I even lived that long, I would have to walk away.

"Leandra?" Alice asked, concerned. She could easily see just how upset I was getting.

"It hurts." I whimpered, looking over at her, "I lived two lifetimes with you guys, and nobody even knows who I am. I won't even have the chance to get that back."

"Yes you will." Alice replied, "Do you really think we'd just abandon you after all this?"

"You have to." I cried, turning to hide my face in my arm, "It's the only way to keep everything from going wrong in a different way. I'm not good for you guys to know at all."

"Don't say that." Alice murmured, leaning closer, "At this point, I don't care what happens. I'm not going to just drop you and run."

"You have to." I repeated, looking over at her once again, " _All_ I want.. All I want is to just make it right. You can't help me. It all depends on this trip to California, but no matter what they do with me, I'm doomed." Once again, I was trying to tell them what was going on without actually saying the words, but it wasn't working this time.

"No you're not." She told me firmly, "I promise. We'll figure something out when you get back, but you won't be alone." It wasn't that easy. She wasn't hearing what I wasn't saying.

I wanted to tell her not to make promises I knew she couldn't keep, but instead, I just closed my eyes again. My stomach was really turning now, and I worried what throwing up would do to it now that I knew it was damaged.

Over the next several minutes, I subtly felt that heartbreak gradually ease. For once, I was deeply grateful for Jasper's help. It helped calm me down, which calmed my stomach for the most part. It still hurt, but I wasn't worried about throwing up.

"Tell me about Mikah." Carlisle requested after my second deep, calming breath, and I couldn't help smiling. I knew he was just trying to get some insight on all I knew, just how much information I had stored in my mind by remembering a person I had no chance of knowing yet, but this subject was more than okay with me. This was a memory I didn't mind revisiting, even if it did make me sad.

"He lives in New York." I said, looking up at him, "In the same city we lived in for awhile, so I met him while we lived there. He turns sixteen in September."

"You said he gets turned too?" Alice prompted, and I nodded. Guilt stole that small smile I had.

"Because of me." I muttered, "I mean, it worked out okay, but I still feel real bad for it."

"What happened?" Carlisle asked, concerned.

I took a breath, gathering my thoughts, "His dad.. Well, first, he gets in a fight with his brother for saying something bad about me, so his dad breaks it up and takes Mikah somewhere else to sort him out. He beats him up and leaves him there."

"How horrible." Alice frowned.

"Mikah says his dad's done that before." I replied, "He gets found by.. Someone else because of all the blood. He would have been okay, but Cole turns him, thinking he's helping. Nobody really blamed Cole. He's such a good guy. It just really sucks because Mikah has two younger brothers and two younger sisters that he has to take care of, but couldn't anymore."

"How does he come to stay with us?" Carlisle asked.

"He follows me." I answered quietly, "Cole teaches him how to control himself, so Jasper doesn't kill him right away, but Mikah followed me because I'm the closest thing he had to his family. He couldn't have his real family anymore, but he could have me because I already knew what he was."

"That makes sense." Alice nodded a little.

"I don't know if I would be very comfortable with that." Jasper muttered.

"You weren't." I replied, "But.. Like I said, he was my best friend. He was a newborn, but he was still my best friend. He promised to hunt animals like you do if you let him stay with me." I paused for a breath, "And you do, because he's the only one that really gets me. We always said that he 'speaks my language'. He knew me better than I knew me. Like he was just a different part of me, like an arm or something."

They were silent as I caught my breath. Truthfully, talking about him made me very sad, and I would have loved to see him again or at least know that one day I would, but I couldn't let that happen.

"And I'm sad, because I never got to say goodbye to him." I paused for a breath and a sigh, "But.. It's something I'll have to let go of, because it's better for everyone that way."

"That's very selfless of you." Carlisle murmured quietly.

"I been through this twice now." I admitted, "By now, I know what things I shouldn't do to get the best ending, I guess. It's better for him if he can stay with his family. They need him more than I do. It's better for you if we never have to go to New York at all. I can keep all that from happening. You just gotta do what I say."

They fell quiet again, and I listened to the breeze around me. With Jasper's continued help, I held onto the feeling I had while thinking about Mikah. Even if I was sad, just the memory I had of him made me happy. Or as close to happy as I would ever be. It calmed me too, and it made all of this even more worth it.

"How did you meet Mikah?" Alice asked me quietly, and I smiled a little. I could understand why they would be curious about this.

"It's kinda a long story." I sniffled, "I met him when I went for a walk passed the park. The park just down that hill passed the back yard. He was working at that little store on the corner two streets away." I paused as she seemed to be thinking. She smiled as well, glancing over at Carlisle.

"I know which store you're talking about." She said and I nodded. It felt oddly nice to have it confirmed like that.

"I went in there." I went on, "I still wasn't used to being anywhere on my own, so that was as far as I went." I decided to leave out most of the details, so I skipped ahead, "I didn't find out 'til later that Alyssa is his sister. Alyssa is my friend too, from school. School there, I mean. Not here. Everyone here sucks."

"We know what you mean." She assured me.

"This boy meant a lot to you." Jasper observed.

"He still does." I replied, "He always will. I don't even have to talk to him. I'd give anything just to see him again. Well.. Almost anything."

"I'll take you." Alice offered, "Right now." I sighed, giving her a look.

"That's why I said 'almost anything'." I mumbled, "No, it's gotta be this way."

"It was worth a try." She smiled sadly.

"Besides." I yawned briefly, "I'm not supposed to meet him 'til October."

"So we're there in October?" She asked, and I nodded.

"We're actually s'posed to be there in September, after.." I hesitated, thinking before I frowned over at her, "Hey, wait a minute. No fair trying to trick me."

She smiled again, just as sadly, "I'm sorry."

"I can't blame you, I guess." I replied, "I would be pretty curious too."

"I need to know." Jasper spoke, and I looked to him, "You said we move to New York after something happens.." I understood where he was going with this. He'd overheard earlier when I mentioned why we had to move.

"What happened wasn't your fault." I told him, "It was.. Kinda my fault."

"How in the world would it be your fault?" Jasper asked flatly.

"Well.." I mumbled, "Couple days before it happened, I started to feel nervous. Like there was something I needed to remember, but I never remembered what it was until after it happened. That's what sucked the most about that. I didn't remember in time to warn anybody about what was gonna happen. That, and I talked to you right when it happened, so-"

"You were there?" He asked, surprised, and I hesitated.

"Yeah." I replied, "I saw the whole thing. 'Member? I can't see stuff that I'm not there to see."

"Please tell me." He said, "I need to know if she.." He trailed off, and I understood more of what he was asking.

"No." I replied, "She's fine. Well, mostly fine, but _you_ don't hurt her."

"And you?"

"I'm fine too." I said, "You push me out of the way before you go nuts."

"See?" Alice smiled a little over at him, "I told you you're doing better."

"I think I kinda help with that too." I mumbled.

He shook his head, "But because of that-"

"It's Edward's idea." I replied before he could finish that thought, "To leave, I mean. Besides. That's fixable, remember? I just won't be there to distract you, so you'll be able to pay attention to not killing her."

Saying it like that made me sad as well. It reminded me of exactly what I was giving up. I tried to comfort myself, though, with the thought that I had so many memories of them and all the things they did for me. Even if none of those memories were real. They were real enough to me. That thought did ease me, but I knew when the time did come for me to turn my back on them, it was going to hurt like hell.

"I know it seems like I'm crazy." I spoke even quieter now, "I know it's hard for you to get it. Why I'm doing this. You just don't have the same memories I have. I wish I could show you what it's like living years with people who have no idea who you are. Caring so much about people who just met you two days ago."

"I can't imagine." Carlisle finally spoke again, having been silent for awhile and I looked over at him.

"It's hard." I admitted, "Before, all I wanted was to get back what I lost by waking up the first time. That was all I wanted, but.. What I saw last night proved I can't do that again. That's not the right way. I really want to, but I can't do that again." I quieted again, "I can't have anybody."

As hard as I tried to hide it, I knew that they could see how badly that last statement hurt me. As much as it hurt me to know I'd lost Mikah by waking up, it was taking me a little longer to realize just how badly losing my family was hurting me. Just as badly as it hurt when they left me. That pain was so suddenly very real to me, just as it had been when it happened, and I knew they wouldn't understand.

Here I was, this pathetic, heartbroken little kid, and they had no idea why I was hurting the way I was. They didn't know what I knew, and I didn't have the words to express exactly what it was like to live for so long, making memories with all of these people. These people that had no idea I even existed. Aside from my family, but they'd only known me for a few days. That didn't help me any.

The depression in my stomach clenched it painfully, only adding to the slow but steady cracking my of my already broken heart. I squeezed my eyes shut, doing what I could to steel myself.

"Don't say that." Alice murmured.

"It's true." I replied, looking over at her, "Plus it's just easier to tell myself that now, instead of waiting 'til later when Aro makes you guys leave me. He tries to say it's for my own good, but he's a liar."

"When does he say that?" Alice asked, obviously not liking that.

"Not 'til later." I answered, "He says that after you take me to Chelsea. He says it's better for me to be with humans, so I get left with Heather. She's the only one anyone really trusts to keep me safe from Jack. I just didn't know that you guys would actually _leave_ -leave." I paused for a breath, "Dang it, I'm saying too much again."

"I promise, we're not trying to trick you." Alice replied, and I shook my head. I knew that this time. She laughed a little, "We're just curious."

"I would be too." I allowed that.

"Why would we leave you?" Jasper asked.

"What Aro says goes." I replied simply, "You guys knew that no matter where I was, I would wanna be with you guys, so you had to leave me there or I would give up and go back home like I did before. That couldn't happen again, so.." I sighed, "You left to take away the choice."

"It seems Aro is a larger part of this than we originally thought." Carlisle sighed, and I nodded.

"He's a big part of it." I said, "I'll tell you more about that later. Right now, he doesn't know I'm even alive. Which is a _really_ good thing."

"How does he find out about you?" Alice asked.

"After we're in New York for awhile." I muttered sleepily, "So not 'til like.. Later. Next year. Edward didn't mean to do what he did, but because he did what he did, Aro finds out about me."

"So it's preventable." Jasper gave a small nod.

"Sorta." I mumbled, "I mean.. Aro could find out any other way. Since Carlisle left them a long time ago, he's been paying a lot of attention to him. At least that's how it was told to me."

They fell quiet for a moment, and that was really all the time I needed.

"I'll make everything okay again." I said, just resting my eyes closed now. I whimpered a little, shifting as I tried to get comfortable on the dirt. I stretched, my hip and shoulder popping audibly at the same time. It would have been a little humorous if it didn't hurt.

"Can you stay?" I asked hesitantly. My arm folded under my head, curled in a loose ball underneath Carlisle's jacket, "I'm afraid to sleep, but I think I have to."

"Of course." Alice replied immediately, and I didn't miss the glance she gave to Carlisle. Of course I couldn't fight sleep. I needed it so badly. Unsurprisingly, I found a heavy amount of comfort in her response. I knew for a fact that Jasper had a hand in that, but I also needed that so badly, I didn't fight it.

It fell silent around me, and I knew they were just waiting for me to fall asleep before continuing their conversation. It really didn't take me long. My mind desperately needed real rest, but I couldn't help being worried that I'd wake up and have to start all over again.

I ached in the worst way when I finally opened my eyes again. To my relief, I was still here, and my bruises protested because of it.

It was just passed evening already. I looked around me, slightly disoriented until I found Alice still here, kneeling in the same spot with Jasper still beside her. Carlisle standing behind them.

"How long was I asleep for?" I asked, a little panicked.

"A little over eight hours." Alice answered quietly, "He just woke up an hour ago. We've been keeping watch. Don't worry." That helped.

"I guess that's why he drives for so long." I muttered, pushing myself up shakily, "He slept all day." I shivered a little as the jacket slid off of me. It was cold out now that most of the daylight was gone. I spoke again, "Last time, I was stuck in there the whole time."

"Leandra, I worry." Alice admitted, and I knew Jasper felt the same way by his expression, "We've been talking, and listening." I wondered what they could have been hearing. I didn't particularly feel like I wanted to know, but I felt like I needed to know.

"Listening to what?" I asked hesitantly, "What'd you hear?"

"Nothing you haven't already confirmed." Jasper replied tensely.

"He spoke to his father." Alice added quietly, "Who advised him to get you there as soon as possible, so he can assess the situation further." I looked down.

"That's what happened last time." I explained, "He said it was because I've been noticed. When we get there, he's gonna try to convince Jack to just leave me there for awhile, until everyone forgets about me. He doesn't really want to until he finds the card. That's why I can't take it with me."

"I think we understand a bit better now." Carlisle replied, "Unfortunately."

"Why unfortunately?"

"Because it's so sad." Alice answered for him, "It's so heartbreaking the way they talk about you. Like you're not even human."

"It's been like that my whole life." I shrugged a little, looking down, "He talks to me like that too. I think Jack does that because it makes him feel better about the things he does to me."

I tried to act like it didn't really bother me, but the opposite was true. That had been one of the things that bothered me from the start. With Jack being my only role model for so long, all I'd ever wanted from him was some acknowledgement that I mattered to him.

The way Jack yelled at me hurt me more, knowing that to him, I was nothing better than some disobedient pet. Each beating meant something different, every look he gave me. It impacted me more, and I was sure he meant for it to be like that.

"I'll be okay." I assured them quietly, "He's not bad to me while we're getting there. If I just change that one thing, he won't leave me alone with Ken, and.. Well, maybe this time, we'll come home."

I knew I could hold out a few more days at least if nothing else went wrong. I'd lasted this long, so whatever was wrong inside me was moving slowly. Maybe if I held out long enough, it would fix itself. I could always hope.

I leaned forward, between Jasper and Alice, and peered around the side of the box as the kitchen light turned on inside the house, shining out into the back yard through the large bed sheets covering the three windows. A dread made my stomach ache, my heart speeding up in knowing he would be coming for me soon. An automatic reaction I'd had since I was young.

"You don't have to do this." Jasper told me, probably having felt the fear I felt now. I swallowed against the fear, leaning back upright. I nervously ran my palms against my jeans, whimpering to myself. He knew why I had to. I took a deep, shaky breath in and sighed.

Yes, I did. However, it was time now for them to leave. Anything that happened between now and when Jack and I left was going to be hard to endure, but I had no choice. I knew that I wouldn't be able to stay this calm. Just like when he brought me out here.

"Thank you." I whispered, "For staying with me."

"I'm staying with you." Alice promised, knowing I was halfheartedly trying to shoo them away, "I can't let you go alone."

I started to shake my head, "You can't-"

"He won't see me." She assured me, and that eased me. Somehow the thought of her being here, even if I couldn't see her, made me feel less alone. I took a breath, nodded, and looked back into the box. I really didn't want to go back in there, but I had no choice. I sighed, before I held my breath, and turned around. Now facing the small hole I had to crawl back into. I hesitated as I remembered what was coming.

"Don't watch." I whimpered, "Okay? Don't watch."

"Why?" Jasper asked, suddenly suspicious. I couldn't exactly blame him.

"Stay hidden." I rephrased it, "No matter what you see or hear. Whatever's coming, I've had a lot worse. I'll be okay." I went to crawl forward, but Carlisle caught my arm gently. Not expecting the feeling, I flinched a little. Jumping at the contact. Another reaction I'd had since I was young.

"Don't do this." He requested, and for the slightest second, I felt a little torn, "It isn't too late." This was the first time he'd outright asked this of me.

"You have to let me do this." I replied, shaking my head, "It's the only way. I promise, when I get back, I'll tell you everything you need to know. Just.. Let me make you guys safe again."

Short of kidnapping me, there wasn't much he could do, and I knew he would never do that. Not unless I asked for it. Not even if it was for my own good.

Of course, they could always call the cops, but they knew that all that would accomplish was making me hate them and I would lie straight to the cop's faces. So I'd still be stuck right where I was, and they would be less likely to be believed if they ever tried to report again. Not to mention the fact that I would probably refuse to trust them. I felt like I knew them well enough by now that I was pretty positive that they wouldn't go that route.

I didn't wait for him to agree. I wasn't up for arguing. I just crawled painfully back into the box, carefully making my way back toward the front in the extremely limited light. Passed spider webs and cans of gasoline. I was still pretty unsteady in my movement, but sleeping had helped me a lot.

I looked back as the first board went back into place. I knew this was bothering them, but they believed me. Where they didn't believe me, I left no option.

I kept my eyes closed, hoping that would hide the fact that I was in complete darkness. I curled into an upright ball against the front corner of the box, sobbing as quietly as I could. I was cold, tired, and in so much pain. I coughed a little, ignoring the slight taste of blood in my throat. It was very faint, not even enough to fully taste, only enough to add the slight metallic hint to the back of my mouth.

Knowing they were out there, refusing to take my warning seriously, and knowing they would see just a glimpse of what my life was like bothered me. More specifically, what they were about to see. Mostly, I tried not to think about it, but part of me couldn't help it.

I hated the thought of them seeing this, but maybe it would help in the long run. Maybe seeing what he could be like would give them more of an idea of why I was doing what I was doing. I mainly worried about their ability to resist intervening. It would be hard for them. I knew that. I couldn't blame them.

I wasn't sure how long I sat in there, as I snoozed a bit, until I jumped painfully at the sound of the back door opening. With a hitched gasp, I forced myself up. Scrambling up out of my ball, kneeling as upright as I could in the box. Whimpering wordlessly for mercy. I needed him to forgive me.

Please, I begged in my mind. Let me out. Please let me out. I hated it so much in here.

Each of Jack's steps from the porch came desperately slowly, as if he were taking his time. Enjoying the sound of my pleading whimpers. Across the ground until I heard him stop outside the box. I could clearly imagine them watching him coming closer, and I knew how badly they wanted to stop him.

For the briefest second, I wondered if he felt like he was being watched like I always did. Even if he did, I doubted he paid any attention to it.

"What do you say?" Jack kicked the box, and I yelped at the sound.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered through the wood, "I won't do it again."

"Yeah you will." He grumbled bitterly, but I heard the lock click open anyway. Seconds later, the door lifted open, and I stood clumsily to my feet. I leaned against the wood, catching my breath from my few moments of suffocating in there and the panic at how dark in was.

He studied me, "Damn, you look like shit." He gave a laugh, "I love this thing." He patted the wooden door and stepped back as I attempted to climb out.

I grabbed the edge with my hands and tried to lift myself up enough to climb over, but I really wasn't in the best of shape. It took me a few tries, but I managed to brace my shoes against the side and pull myself up, but actually climbing out hurt more than I knew how to express without sobbing.

Inside me and along the skin of my back. My back had taken the worst of the latest beating, so it hurt more than the rest of me did. The violently stinging, aching, nauseating pain that intensified the more I had to move.

I lost my balance, and my foot got caught on the edge as I tried to bring it over. Tripping in my haste and unsteadiness, and hitting the ground heavily. The sharp rocks in the dirt dug painfully into me through my clothes, and my wrist hurt from how I landed on it, but I just laid there.

I had to lay there for several moments, just to keep from throwing up. Nausea turning my stomach against me, making my head spin coldly in the fresh air I could suddenly breathe again. I hated this feeling. He stepped around me, circling me where I laid trying to catch my breath.

"I bet you're freezing." He pointed out, "It's pretty cold out here tonight."

I braced myself. I knew what was coming next, so I stiffened my body as much as I could.

His heavy boot landing against my stomach made keeping my nausea back impossible. Just once was all it took for me to lose my breath in a loud cough and the contents of my stomach at the same time, choking audibly on each attempted breath in. I opened my eyes long enough to look at what I'd just thrown up. The color was a bit off, and I saw the red in it. Just enough for me to notice. Anyone looking would think it was dirt.

With that one kick, I knew what he was saying. I'd fucked up. Badly.

Knowing it was coming didn't make it hurt any less. The impact was full of hatred, and I felt every bit of it. I hated that they'd just seen that, but the scent of the blood I'd just thrown up could be coming from anywhere. I probably reeked of it.

He forced himself to stop at just one, stepping back. Away from me before he could keep going. I sobbed into the dirt, hiding my face with my forehead pressed to the ground. Both arms clutching my tight stomach, in case he decided to come back for another kick. My trembling breath didn't hide the pain in my sobs, despite my effort.

"Let me tell you something." He spoke instead, "I don't know where you got it into your stupid fucking head that you're worth more than I give you, but that shit stops now. You were _warned_!" I flinched at his raised tone, "I told you exactly what would happen if you ever pulled the shit you pulled yesterday. I fucking told you!"

I just sobbed, not bothering to reply. Anything I tried to say to that would just piss him off more anyway. I did have to say one thing, though.

"I'm okay." I whispered into the ground, "I'm okay."

"You thought you got away, didn't you?" He snapped, not hearing me, "Thought you got away, and you'd never have to face the consequences, huh?"

"No." I answered shakily, "I was going to come back. I tried-"

"Like I'm supposed to believe that." He scoffed harshly, "You're pathetic. I don't even know why I try with you."

"I was going to come back." I insisted, firmer now, "I'm not that stupid."

"You're pretty fucking stupid if you thought leaving at all was a good idea." He snapped. I thought fast.

"I knew it was stupid." I argued as I slowly pushed myself up with my arms, "But I did it anyway. It was my idea to go. I just wanted to see what it was like, going somewhere besides school. After you took me to get clothes, I liked being out of the house for once."

I turned it around on him. Without even meaning to. I was mainly just grasping at anything I could to force his focus back to me.

"I knew I should have chained you up like a fucking dog." He shook his head, "Especially after what your bitch of a mother pulled." It was working. He was back to threatening me with things he'd only ever do if he was really pissed.

"So then wouldn't it be your own fault?" I asked, looking up at him, "Maybe you should have." In one smooth movement, he kneeled and gripped my face again. Jerking me closer to him, his blue eyes glaring into my green ones.

Whoops, I thought fearfully. Too far.

He didn't speak right away, just warning me with his eyes, and that was how I knew I needed to shut up. When he was angry like this, I could see just a hint of the crazy he held behind his eyes.

"I'm gonna tell you this one time." He finally spoke, his tone dark and slightly gravelly, and I strongly preferred his silence, "I will not put up with your smart mouth the entire fucking trip. I'm not against drowning your ass in the bathtub and calling it an accident, just to be rid of you. Say. One. More. _Fucking_. Word." Instead of doing so, I bit my lip.

At my silence, he went on, "I'm giving you a fucking chance, you little bitch. Don't fuck it up." Instantly, I shook my head as much as I could. I'd change my tone drastically from this point on. Pushing him too much more right then would be really stupid. He threw me away from him and I barely managed to reach both hands back to catch myself. I was glad I did, because landing on my back would have been unbearable.

"Get your ass up."

I felt his hand close on my arm when I didn't move immediately, but I didn't even try to fight him as he jerked me to my feet. Jarring every bone in my body as he swung me up, and shoved me toward the door. A loud cry escaped as he did so, leaving me before I could stop it. Being moved like that hurt.

My knees and palms hit the ground again right at the bottom step of the porch. I paused for a few breaths, but I recovered as fast as I could. Reaching for the railing to pull myself back to my feet, ignoring the pain in my shoulder now.

"I'm not sitting for hours to smell you." He growled now directly behind me, "Get your ass in the house and clean yourself up. You're disgusting." I hesitated to take deep breaths, but scurried forward as he slapped the back of my head, the sound making my ears ring.

"Go on! Let's go. Move it, stupid." I wrestled open the door and scrambled inside the house, him right on my heels.

"Hurry it up." Jack barked from behind me, which only made me move faster, "I don't have all night, so make it quick."

I nearly tripped on my way into the bathroom, but saved myself by grabbing the door. I shed my clothing in probably record time. At war with myself over not wanting to stand in the freezing cold water, but also really not wanting to piss Jack off even more.

I couldn't help crying. The water hurt so much. Scrambling to get everything done while trying my best to dodge the water until I had to endure it, but that wasn't anything new.

It surprised me to see blood in the rinsing water, though, so I looked at myself. I usually made it a point to not look at myself if I could help it. Mostly because it was a horrifying sight, and I just didn't like seeing it as well as going through it. Looking at it made it worse. Like a cut you didn't know you had until you see it, and it only then started to sting.

The kick he'd given me had opened two of the welts over my chest and stomach, which ached almost unbearably. The bruising spread out now, the dark patches covering my side and down my stomach. The welts themselves weren't that deep. Hardly skin deep, where the skin had been damaged enough to split. It took a lot of effort to split the skin through clothes, but Jack wasn't exactly known for putting forth less than his best effort.

That wasn't there before, I told myself, gently pressing over the bruising. That must have developed over the last few hours. It didn't hurt too badly, but I knew if I were to press harder, it would hurt a lot more. I knew it was more than skin deep, and I had to wonder how bad the damage was inside.

Shaking my head, I went on with my task. I knew I could just get away with washing my hair and rinsing the rest of me to get the dirt off. That would be good enough.

"Good enough." I jumped at Jack's voice filling the bathroom less than a few minutes after getting into the shower, "Get out." I grit my teeth through one last rinse to get any residual shampoo suds off and jumped out soaking wet and freezing cold. Sliding a little on the smooth floor, but running passed him.

"Hey." He called at me, and I turned in my bedroom doorway. Getting a rough towel tossed into my face.

"Thanks." I told him, already drying my hair. I was actually prepared to get dressed while still wet. Just to avoid him yelling at me even more. Of course he didn't notice the new bruising I had. As much as he liked to see the damage he caused me, he never looked too long while I was fully naked. I was grateful for that.

I hated this rush. I knew what he was rushing for, but I wished he would slow down just a little bit. Sure, we were a day late, but he barked orders at me like the house was going to blow up at any moment.

I knew why now. That conversation with Ken was what was rushing him.

Not giving me a chance to breathe, much less stop and gather any thoughts. I was still very disoriented from the rush, but I had to shake that off if I wanted to somehow stay at least somewhere near his good side.

He threw my old clothes at me, "Hurry it up."

I caught them, tossing them into the closet while trying to catch my breath and shiver violently at the same time. My teeth chattering the whole time. Yanking open my top drawer while trying to keep the dresser itself from falling over, I grabbed a pair of socks and underwear at the same time. Holding the pair of socks in my mouth while getting the bottom half of me dressed.

"Hurry up!" He was back in the doorway just as I grabbed my sweater off the floor. The cleanest one I had. Thankfully, it was black, so I could bleed into it all I wanted to.

"It's been thirty seconds!" I couldn't hold that back, no matter how much I should have.

"Don't take that goddamn tone with me." He shot back, "It's your fucking fault we're late. Get moving!"

I took a deep breath, yanking my light sweater over my head and grabbing my shoes on my way to follow him. Fighting with my wet hair the whole way. He grabbed me, though, right outside my bedroom and shoved me back against the wall. What the hell had I done now?

I looked up at him, and he looked down at me in the sudden still moment in all the movement.

"How long's it been?" He asked, and I hesitated. He got irritated when I wouldn't answer, "How long?"

"How long since what?" I knew what he wanted to know, but I had to ask anyway.

"Since you've eaten, stupid." He clarified, "How long has it been?" He must not have noticed anything odd when I threw up earlier. I silently thanked myself for deciding against eating that morning.

"Five- No, six days." I answered immediately. Admitting I'd eaten anything sooner than when he decided I could was a very good way to piss him off.

"You didn't eat wherever you went?" He frowned.

"You told me not to." I answered immediately, "So no. I didn't."

He seemed to appreciate that answer greatly. I could tell by the way his hand loosened significantly, allowing the circulation back into my arm.

"I'll get you something later." Jack replied, "You've gone longer." I had. He sighed, giving me a nod and taking a fist full of my sweater. Tugging me away from the wall with a quiet yelp from me.

He ignored that, though. Dragging me through the house, out the front door as he slammed it behind him. I took a few seconds to breathe, trying to pull my socks on as he locked the front door and started forward again. I hesitated until he turned back around to reach for me.

"Just wait a second." I whimpered, which he ignored. Gripping my sweater again, and pulling me along with him down the steps. I gave up trying to put on my shoes and socks, just carrying them along with me. Running barefoot through the damp yard to the truck hurt the bottoms of my feet, but I literally had no choice but to keep up. It was either that, or be dragged behind him.

He yanked the drivers side door open violently. The bags were already in the backseat, I noticed, as he practically tossed me into the truck head first. I was getting so tired of being thrown around.

"Ow." I gasped.

"Shut up." He grumbled in response, "Stop bitching. You're lucky you're still fucking breathing."

"Lucky." I muttered sarcastically. Gaining a full open-handed slap, and a pretty effective boost out of his seat and onto the passenger side floorboard.

"Watch the tone, bitch." He sat down as I struggled to right myself. I grunted in discomfort, but I was alright, "Get in the back."

I immediately did as he said. Scrambling my way between the front seats. Settling into the small open spot in the back passenger seat on the backseat bench, the bags beside me actually making me feel more secure.

We left the house behind quickly, practically tearing up the dirt of the driveway. I knew Alice was following me this time, so I sat staring out the window, but I didn't see her. That was a good thing. If I couldn't see her, neither could Jack.

"I'm okay." I whispered silently, and I hoped she could hear it, "That was it."

It was warm in the backseat, which I deeply appreciated. I could finally start truly warming up. I couldn't help being a little excited at seeing Heather again. And Mike, and the boys. I'd missed them already. I was deeply dreading seeing Ken, though. I was torn both ways.

In sitting still, my stomach hurt worse now. I knew that kick had done more damage to my already injured self, but I'd never know how much. All I could do was stay quiet and deal with it. A tickling in my chest had me cough again. Sure enough, I had more of a taste of blood. Enough to tell me that it actually was blood I was tasting.

As a test, I spit a little bit into my hand to look. I didn't see any blood, so I knew I still had time.

I looked back out the window as I wiped my hand on the seat next to me, watching the road blur by in the dark. The headlights of Jack's truck barely reaching the trees on either side of the road.

"I'll be okay." I murmured under my breath, once again hoping she heard it. I knew Jack wouldn't hear me over the sound of the radio on in the front. Knowing Alice was following, wherever she was, was actually pretty comforting to me. Maybe I wouldn't die alone.

Closing my eyes, I rested my head against the window. All I could do now was wait. Until I remembered what was coming later. She would see that. It could be worse, I reasoned.

"You know," Jack spoke up, taking my attention again, "If I wanted to, I could have the whole lot of them thrown in jail." My heart dropped, "Yeah, I looked up that number." Fuck.

I didn't know what to say to that. I'd forgotten about this part. It just told me I would be having a harder time accomplishing my goal than I thought before.

"Kidnapping is a serious crime, you know."

"I went on my own." I mumbled quietly.

"I don't give a fuck." He scoffed, "The point is, they had no right to take you anywhere, much fucking less keep you all night. A week or two in jail would teach them to keep their fucking distance. Worse if I decide to find a bruise or two, and point the finger their direction. One of them would take the blame for that."

"They didn't do anything." I grumbled, getting quite irritated. I wanted to turn it around and threaten to tell the truth, but I knew that wouldn't go over very well.

"Then you best be glad we're doing this now." He snapped, "Before I lose my fucking patience with them, and you ruin their lives. You don't want to get them into trouble now, do you?" If only he knew.

"No, sir." I replied instantly.

"That's what I thought." He fell quiet for a moment, "What's the nosy bitch's name? The one that called that day? She's the one I'm focused on, but I know that wasn't her number." It made me nervous to hear him asking about Alice now, knowing what I knew.

"She's not a bitch." I muttered, "She's my friend."

"I don't give a shit if she was queen of the fucking world," He was getting pissed, "What's her goddamn name?"

"I won't tell you." I mumbled, hardly daring to breathe.

"It'll be a lot fucking worse if I have to find out on my own." He barked, "You know this. What's her fucking name?"

He and I both knew he could easily get it out of me if he really wanted to. I watched his hands, slowly leaning back out of his reach. His hands, clenching tight to the wheel, were one of the things I feared most about him. His hands and his eyes were usually enough to fill me with pure fear.

"I won't tell you." I repeated, keeping my tone as calm as I could.

"Bitch," He snapped loudly enough to make me flinch, "You're pissing me off. Tell me!"

"No!" I shouted back at him, "Why should I? You have me!"

"Is this really how it's gonna be?" He asked sharply, " _God_ you're lucky we have somewhere to be." _Lucky_ wasn't the word I would have used to describe what I was.

"Fuck it." He said again, "I'll figure that out on my own, but I can tell you that you'll never fucking see any of them again. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, sir." Keep him happy. At least as happy as I could.

"And the next time you tell me 'no'," He added, "I'm going to knock your teeth down your throat."

I decided not to add to that.

I just went with it. Sitting back in my seat carefully. That was all I could do. Despite how I would have preferred to stay, anywhere was better than in that box. Especially considering Jack had the heater going.

Jack didn't seem to mind letting me sleep. For a little while, anyway.

The radio was on low, playing some old rock song. Listening to him singing along with it under his breath, and the quiet roar of the partially open window was the white noise I needed to sleep. This was normal. I knew this. I settled back into this role and my seat with something like ease.

Opening my eyes for a final time, I looked up out the window. The interstate was bare this time of night, aside from truckers or another random car. I tried to wait, but I couldn't stay awake for very long.

Smelling the cigarette smoke that managed to waft back at me, I actually did manage to sleep. As much as I hated him, he was the only family I had. As much as I hated him, I couldn't help feeling something like comfort when I was with him.

He was familiar, and I felt like I knew his behaviors well enough to know when I needed to be cautious. He seemed satisfied for the moment. Content, almost, now that we were on our way.

My stomach tumbled in nervousness and nausea as I thought about exactly where he was taking me. I knew full well I had a hard few days ahead of me. I doubted there would be any amount of preparation good enough to make it easier.

 **A/N: Chapter three - Done! :D  
I apologize for this not being out yesterday. RL responsibilities had me away from this literally all day long, but I'm getting this out now. (:  
THANK YOU! To my reviewers of last chapter! Side note, I do know who you are, newest reviewer lol but it still counts!  
Chapter four is also written out, so it won't be long either. (: I'm taking a rest day between the heavy lifting, so I'll have plenty of time to work on editing it one more time. (hopefully lol)  
Until Four, my BEAUTIFUL readers! (:**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

I couldn't remember the dream I'd been having when I felt Jack tapping, nudging my leg with his hand.

"Hey. Wake up." He muttered, and I sleepily opened my eyes as I whimpered awake, "Get up here. Sit with me for a minute." Damn. I was hoping this part wouldn't happen. I felt so sick already.

I tried to rub the sleep from my eyes while doing as he told me to do.

We were stopped somewhere, which only then registered to me. The radio was still on, but the truck was off, and the parking lot we sat in was a gas station. With a quiet sigh, I recognized this place easily.

He'd parked away from the light, just like before. It was dark on this side of the building, and it was eerie here at night. The area empty of anyone but us. The mood I was in certainly fit the setting.

I yawned, climbing over the center console. His hand actually supporting my lower back on my quest between the seats. He flipped up the center console, creating a seat in the middle for me to sit down in right beside him. I took the hint.

I had to admit, after what he did earlier, I was pretty hesitant to sit next to him, but I also didn't want to piss him off again by refusing. I was just too tired and really didn't want to put up with that right then.

I continued rubbing my eyes, whimpering again in my sleepiness. I was definitely feeling the last several hours. I knew it'd take some time to feel warm again. My eyes burned in their tiredness, and I could barely keep them open.

I suddenly remembered. Looking over, out the window, as if I'd be able to see Alice out there somewhere. I didn't see anyone, much less Alice. I could feel them watching, though.

"Here." He pulled a bag up from the floorboard, reaching into it, and pulling something out. Holding it out to me. I looked over, and realized what he was offering me. I'd forgotten this little detail. It was a bar of chocolate. I looked up as I didn't hesitate in taking it.

"Thank you." I immediately said, and he grunted in response. Nodding.

I carefully unwrapped it as he sighed, setting the bag back down. Continuing on with his cigarette. Looking to the clock on the radio, it said we'd already been gone for two and a half hours. Two and a half hours from home. Two and a half hours closer to Ken.

He and I were silent at first. He seemed very distracted, staring out the window to the side. I wasn't in a rush to bother him, so I just sat quietly. Listening to the song on the radio end, and another song begin before he looked over at me.

"Later," He said, "We'll stop and get something to eat." I nodded, knowing he wouldn't tell me twice. I couldn't wait. I needed something on my upset stomach, hoping that would calm it down a little bit. My head pounded painfully, so I was glad it was dark.

I nibbled on the chocolate, not wanting him to think I was ungrateful in any way. This was such a rare thing. I couldn't help feeling nervous, though. Knowing what was coming made it worse.

"When we get to where we're going," He spoke again, "I want you on your best behavior." He paused, looking to me, "You know what that means, right?" Yeah, yeah.

"Don't speak, don't move around, and don't look at anyone too long." I answered sleepily, and he chuckled.

"Good." He nodded, "That's right." I felt a very slight pang of relief. I'd done something right, "You'll be meeting someone important, so don't go running your mouth. Got it?" I knew exactly who that person was. I cringed internally, hating the thought of having to deal with him again.

"I won't." I replied anyway, "I promise."

As long as he held the offer of food up over me, I would have done my best to do a backflip if it meant making him happy. It happened so rarely, I knew never to let the opportunity pass. He reached over, and closed my eyes as he started lazily running his fingers through my hair. Almost like he was petting me. I remembered this. I didn't like it. It made me squirm, and I had to force myself to sit still and not cringe away.

This wasn't so bad, though. He wasn't yelling at me. He wasn't hitting me. I eased ever so slightly, adjusting how I sat. Closing and resting my eyes tiredly.

"There will be kids there." He continued, looking to me again, "About your age." Josh and Zack, "Unless they talk to you first, don't say anything to them. Got it?" His fingers continued running through my hair. It felt a lot nicer than when he was trying to pull it all out.

"I won't." I repeated, "Nothing."

"But don't be rude." He added calmly, "Or I'll tan your hide." I shook my head, "I'm testing you, kid. Don't disappoint me, especially so soon after the last one. You know I hate being disappointed." I shook my head again, more vigorously this time. I did know he hated being disappointed. I wouldn't disappoint him. Going through this now was all about not disappointing him. Keeping him happy meant keeping the Cullens safe.

He watched me for a few moments, until he sighed. Flicking the cigarette butt out the window, he reached over and picked me up. I stiffened in response. Knowing what this was all about. Knowing what it was about didn't make it any easier to endure, though.

He settled me on his lap. Thoughts of sleep flew out the window as he adjusted my weight, me facing away from him.

As a test, I attempted to move, to crawl back over to where I was sitting, but he righted me easily. Keeping me square in the center of his lap.

"Relax." He told me firmly, "You're fine." If he thought that tone of voice was soothing, he was mistaken. With both his hands on my shoulders, he pushed me back down, and held me there.

I looked around once more, and from where I was sitting, I had a slightly different view in the rearview mirror than Jack would have. I could just barely make out the shape of someone standing beside the building across the lot behind us.

I knew exactly who that was.

That prompted me to try to move again, but he just wrapped his arms around my stomach and squeezed firmly, forcing me back down. I couldn't help the small cry of pain, and trying to loosen his grip.

"Stay." Jack growled into my ear.

"Okay." I cried, "Okay, just p-please.." He loosened his grip, allowing me to sit there and cry.

"Seriously?" He asked, peering around my arm at my face, "That made you cry?"

"My stomach hurts." I admitted as quietly as I could, and he frowned.

"All of you should hurt." He replied, "Besides, I kicked you there earlier, remember?"

"No." I mumbled, "It's different. It was hurting before then."

"Quit bitching." He sighed, "You're fine. Just being a whiny little shit like always. Shut the fuck up before I give you something to cry about."

I sniffled, but otherwise fell quiet. I looked back up at the rear view mirror, and spotted the same person standing there. Only there were two there now. That surprised me. I was expecting Alice to be alone. She obviously wasn't, though.

For several minutes, I sat there stiffly, waiting for him to be done. I didn't like the thought of what I was seated over. That was just about the only reason I didn't like this. He wasn't moving, or hurting me. It just made me very uncomfortable.

"This isn't easy for me, you know." He grumbled, and I turned a little, looking back at him over my shoulder, "I know you don't believe me, but I didn't want to have to do this. Why couldn't you have just done as you were told? Was it really that damn hard?"

I didn't know what he wanted me to say. I chose to face forward again instead.

"Was it that damn hard?" He asked again, softer now, but I wasn't sure if he was still talking to me. He got quiet, and I stayed quiet. Just sitting still.

Last time, I didn't want to talk after he'd said these things. Now I was more curious than anything about what would happen if I did.

"I don't know." I mumbled, and I glanced back as he looked up, "I don't know why I did it. You told me not to, but I did it anyway."

"Don't tell me that." He spoke now, and he was mad, "I don't want to hear that you don't know why you fucking chose to ignore every fucking thing I ever told you. That's no goddamn excuse."

Well, now I knew why it was a good idea not to say anything.

"I know." I said, looking forward again, but he wasn't done.

"Do you have any fucking idea what kind of position you've put me in?" He demanded, taking my arm and turning me a bit to look at me. As much as I knew it was all his fault, he had a way of making me feel guilty.

"And if running wasn't fucking bad enough," He went on when I sat in silence, "It had to be a goddamn doctor. Seriously. How fucking stupid could you be?"

"What's wrong with that?" I stupidly asked.

"It's their fucking _job_ to figure out what's wrong with people." He replied pointedly, "Do you really think he believed your stupid fucking lie about the bruise on your face?" I looked away, unable to answer that. I knew he didn't believe me.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered, but he wasn't done.

"Not yet, you aren't." He grumbled, forcing me forward again, "But you will be. Oh, you will be. Once we get to where we're going, you'll be _begging_ for the way I treat you." I stiffened a little at the way he said that. Swallowing nervously, as I knew he wasn't lying. I believed him, but it scared me. Was I wrong in assuming he wouldn't leave me there?

Hesitantly, I looked back into the mirror. I wondered if they could see me, or if they were just listening in. It was really dark over here, the only light coming from the other side of the building.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, knowing I shouldn't speak. That I was probably just making it worse.

"Not yet." He repeated flatly, "You-"

"I never should have gone." I added, shaking my head, "I didn't mean to. All.. All I wanted was to just see her house." I wouldn't give up her name, but I wanted his blame back on me.

"I don't give a shit what you wanted." He replied, "I thought I made it really fucking clear that that shit was not okay."

"You did." I said in reply, "You did, but I was stupid." He didn't reply to that, so I didn't say anything else either. I'd already said what I needed him to hear, so I let the silence drag on.

His words really made me think. I knew that was what he wanted, but once again, I believed him. I didn't even want to think about the possibility that he would actually leave me there. He _couldn't_. There was no way.

He and I both knew that actually leaving me was a very cruel punishment for whatever he thought I'd done wrong, but then again, being cruel was his specialty. He was always out to out-do himself. Actually leaving me there was pretty much the final punishment he could give me, other than taking my life himself.

After only a few more minutes of sitting there, he sighed deeply. Startling me out of my thoughts, as the silence ended with the sound.

"Alright." He mumbled, reaching up and placing his hand on my neck, lightly shoving me sideways. I tumbled off his lap, sprawling ungracefully back onto the seat beside him.

Just like before, nothing had happened. It was like he just got bored of me sitting there.

I glanced up at him as I righted myself, confused. He gave me a calm look, not angry at my puzzled state. Reaching out, he grabbed the pack of cigarettes and shook out two.

"Get used to that." Was all he said. His bitter tone wasn't angry. Just unhappy. I hesitated, but wondered if I should mess things up a bit by talking.

I just took the lit cigarette he offered, sitting beside him in silence, just curled into a small, insecure ball against the passenger door. We didn't speak while I smoked. He glanced over at me now and then, watching me watch him. Deep in thought now.

"Would you relax, for fuck's sake?" He finally snapped, and I looked up at him, "You'd think I'd just threatened to kill you by the look on your face."

Go with the script, I told myself.

"I don't like that." I mumbled after a few seconds. I really hadn't. It reminded me too much of my last day as a human before I woke up.

"Well, tough shit." He replied immediately, his tone telling me that he was surprised I'd actually voiced my opinion, "You'll probably be doing a whole lot of things you don't like over your lifetime with what I'm planning for you." He turned his gaze out the window, "Get fucking used to it." Knowing what I knew now, he wasn't exaggerating.

I didn't bother to reply. I was getting tired again. So I tossed what was left of my cigarette out the window.

"Go back there." He told me, and I tensely got moving, "Go back to sleep."

I made sure to take my chocolate with me, settling back into my spot. I watched him start up the truck again. I whimpered quietly, hugging my stomach. It was the strangest feeling, this pain. Like the feeling of being kicked there had stuck around.

With a shake of his head, we got going again.

"I'm okay." I whispered to myself, closing my eyes once more. I couldn't tell anymore if I was trying to comfort them, or comfort myself. Just in case, I whispered it again with a soft sniffle, "I'm okay."

We drove for about ten more minutes. My eyes out the window, holding my breath now and then against the pain. I had no idea what in me was wrong, but whatever it was, it hurt. A lot. It didn't feel like it normally did. It didn't just come and go like a bruise would, but it stayed around. The clenching pain constant underneath, it getting worse in waves coming and going now and then. Like a muscle cramp, but further inside and sharper.

I couldn't resist anymore. I had to say something.

"Jack.." I whimpered, just loud enough for him to hear me. He ignored me at first, so I stood up carefully. Holding onto the back of the passenger seat in front of me, I carefully climbed up front. He glanced over, sighing.

"I thought I told you to go the fuck to sleep."

"I can't." I mumbled as I sat myself in the passenger seat beside him. He didn't stop me, but he didn't help me either. He just stared ahead.

"And why not?" He asked harshly.

"My stomach hurts." I admitted, "It hurts too much."

He made no acknowledgement at first, so I sat there and waited for a moment. He and I both knew it had to be really bad if I even tried to bother him with it. The only time I was allowed to bug him with things like this was when I thought it was worse than usual. Well, it was definitely worse than usual. When he didn't respond, I stupidly tried again.

"Jack-"

"I heard you!" I flinched at his shout, and at the way he slammed his palm against the steering wheel, "Fuck! Fucking shit!"

After a few more seconds, he sighed heavily, and pulled the truck over on the side of the deserted highway. Throwing the shifter in park, we sat there for several silent moments while he obviously thought hard about what I told him.

After a moment, he reached over sharply and punched the overhead light on, nearly breaking it. He pulled me closer by my arm and jerked my sweater up over my stomach, getting a good look at what I was talking about.

"Aw, son-of-a-bitch." He groaned, dropping my sweater back down. He thought for a moment longer before he lifted it back up for a second look. He cursed under his breath and looked back over at me, "How long?"

"Couple days." I replied quietly, "The bruise is new, though."

"How new?" He asked as if I should have given that information sooner.

"Umm.." I muttered, deeply intimidated by his anger, "Couple hours. Maybe like.." I trailed off, thinking.

"God you're stupid." He snapped, "Think!"

"I guess like a day." I answered quickly, and he sighed hard. At first, I thought I'd given him the wrong answer, that I hadn't understood the question, but he just sat in silence for a moment before looking back over at me.

"Can you hold out until we get to California?"

"Yeah." I immediately said, hoping to calm him down, "I can."

"Okay, good." He said, getting the truck moving again, "This is what's going to happen. In that glovebox, there's a bottle of Tylenol. Take two of those."

I immediately did as he said, pulling it open and easily finding the white bottle laying on its side towards the back. I looked around, finding a half-full bottle of water on the floorboard. He waited until I finished his first set of instructions before speaking again.

"Now," He said, "I'm gonna get us there as fast as I can without killing us both or getting a fucking ticket, so just sit tight. Once we're there, and you've met everyone, complain about your stomach again. Make fucking sure my sister hears you." I nodded, memorizing every word he told me, "She's a nurse, and she'll want to look you over. She'll ask you what the fuck happened to you." I waited, listening close, "You tell her.. You fucking tell her that you got hit by a fucking car on your way home from school.. Say.. Three days ago, and the fucker drove off before you could get a look at his license plate. And because you're fucking stupid, you never told me about it. Got it?"

"Okay." I said, nodding, "I can do that."

"Good." He barked, "Because I'm not taking you to a fucking hospital. They'll probably think I did that shit to you." He fell quiet for a moment, "It's probably nothing. You'll be sore for a few weeks, but.. You'll be fine, so quit bitching."

I could hear the tiny hint of worry in his tone, though. Instead of asking him about it, I looked out the window again. He seemed fine with letting me sit up front.

I sat awake in silence for about an hour. It was dark all around us, aside from the illumination from the headlights in front of us. Any other car we saw, he passed like they were standing still, so I knew he had to have been going pretty fast.

I hadn't even noticed I was dozing off, until he reached over and lightly smacked my leg.

"Lay down." He told me, flipping the center console up again, "You're gonna fall over. The last thing I need is for you to break your fucking nose or something." I didn't argue or hesitate. I scooted closer to the door before laying to the side. My head next to his leg. I would have laid the other direction, with my feet near his leg, but that side hurt me more.

He allowed that, sighing and lighting another cigarette. I was oddly comfortable now. I was more tired than I was used to being, so I could actually fall asleep right where I was.

I woke some time later to the sound of his door opening, and it took me a moment to realize we'd stopped. The cool breeze swirled into the truck through the open door as he climbed out. It was rather unpleasant, so I whined, hiding my face against the seat.

"Stay." He told me, slamming the door shut. Shakily, I pushed myself up, looking out the windows through blurry eyes. Wherever we were was very sunny, but we were parked at a gas pump, the large overhang kept the morning sun from reaching us.

I took a brief moment to stretch a little bit, watching Jack disappear into the store. Almost the second he went inside, the passenger door behind me opened. I yelped loudly in surprise, spinning to look at Alice climbing into the truck with me.

"What are you doing?" I demanded nervously, looking around. The other pumps were pretty much empty aside from one other car at the opposite end of the row, and a very shiny, black car parked on the other side of the gas pump behind us.

"Show me." She told me quickly, "Leandra, if you're hurt that bad-"

"I'm fine." I replied, scooting over, "Jack said I'll be fine."

"Is he a doctor?" She asked firmly, "No. Show me."

"He's coming back." I told her just as firmly, "You have to leave."

With a heavy sigh, she opened the door again. I thought for a second that she was about to leave, but she gently but firmly took my arm, tugging me out of the truck behind her. She closed the door behind us before I could even protest. She ducked down, staring in the direction of the store for a moment, before nodding to herself and dragging me along the truck, and around to the black car parked behind us.

"Stop." I told her in a heavy whisper, "Alice, you're gonna mess this whole thing up." She pulled me to a stop at the driver's side door of the black car, just as Carlisle was rolling the window down. Without missing a beat, she lifted my shirt over my stomach. Carlisle's eyes immediately grew concerned, and he stepped out instantly.

I sighed hard in annoyance, looking back at the store as Carlisle got a closer look. I didn't dare look at myself. I knew it was bad. If it made Jack look twice, it was bad.

"Leandra," Carlisle spoke firmly, "This has become too dangerous for you to continue."

"I don't care." I replied sharply, jerking my shirt back down, "I'm doing it."

"Don't you get it?" Alice asked, "You could die." I looked over at her, not bothering to reply. My response was still the same, and I knew she could see that in my expression.

"You need medical attention." Carlisle told me, "Waiting any longer-"

"You heard him." I replied, "His sister is a nurse, and she's awesome. Heather is a good person. You know her." He frowned a little, "She works with you." I shook my head as he seemed to understand, talking quickly now, "I have to do this his way. I know it's dangerous. I knew it was dangerous before. I came too far to stop now. Jack knows now that I'm really hurt, so he'll lay off. You'll see."

Alice sighed, "Leandra-"

"I have to get back." I whispered firmly, "Just-"

"One more question." She murmured, and I sighed, waiting, "What was that last night?" I frowned for a moment in thought, trying to recall what she could have been talking about. Ah, I understood. The lap thing.

"Oh," I shook my head, "That was nothing. He just wanted me to sit there because he knows I hate doing that, but he wants me to get used to it because his dad.. Well, you'll find out." I glanced back at the store, and thankfully, there was still no sign of him, "It was nothing."

"His dad, what?" She asked, now suspicious.

"His dad will want to hold me like that." I admitted, "For.. Reasons, I guess."

She started to shake her head, taking a breath.

"I'll be okay." I told her before she could argue any more. I went to turn, but she caught me gently. Pulling me into a hug. Of course, I returned it. I couldn't help it. I missed her so much, but it just reminded me why I was doing this. I pulled back just enough to hug Carlisle next as tightly as I could without hurting myself. Not expecting that, he seemed a bit surprised at first, but he returned it as well. Gently, of course.

"One word." Alice told me and I looked over at her, "Just one word, and I'll be there no matter what." I could handle that, "And I'm going to keep checking up on you. Whenever I can." I nodded, hoping now she'd let me get back.

With that, I walked away. Without looking back, because I didn't want them to see me crying. I climbed back into the truck, shutting the door firmly behind me. Holding my breath to stop my sobs, I used my sleeve to clear the tears off my cheeks.

Just a few minutes later, I looked up to see Jack coming back out. He had a small grocery bag in his hand as he approached the passenger side of the truck. He opened my door, holding the bag out to me. I took it obediently.

"There's a sandwich in there." He told me, "Eat." I hesitated for a moment before I looked up at him.

"I'm not that hungry." I admitted quietly. That really caught his attention. Enough to cause him to stare at me. I'd never dared to tell him that before, but this time, it was true.

"Just fucking eat it." He growled to me under his breath.

"I can't." I replied, "I don't feel good. If I eat it, I'll just throw it up."

"Then throw up." He snapped, opening the little door over the gas tank, "I don't give a fuck, as long as you eat the fucking thing. I don't need you starving to death before we even fucking get there. You're probably just hung over. That'll help."

So I shrugged a little and reached into the bag. I found one of the two sandwiches in there, noticing they were both the same, so I pulled one out.

Sitting there with the door open, I watched Jack as I ate what I could. I could see him looking around, obviously bored, but the third time he looked at Carlisle's car sitting there, I knew I had to speak up.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked after a second of thinking up a question.

"No." He replied, leaning up against the side of the truck, waiting for it to finish filling up. Crossing his arms. It'd worked, though. He wasn't looking to the right anymore.

"What's the difference?" I asked, pointing out the three buttons on the gas pump.

"Price." He grunted with a scoff, "Not much else."

"Then why do people pay more?"

"No idea." He replied, "More money than fucking brains, I guess. Slap a higher price on something, and they just think it's better." This was the first decent conversation I was sure I'd ever had with him, but I didn't want to ruin that by continuing.

I nodded a little, looking back down at my sandwich. I really wasn't sure about continuing to eat. My stomach ached bad, and I honestly worried I'd lose everything I'd just eaten. I wanted to continue talking to him, to keep his focus on me, but I was also very unsure about speaking.

Sure enough, minutes later as Jack was putting the nozzle back into place, I had to hop out of the truck. Thankfully, there was a trash can right there, and I was able to throw up into it.

During a pause between waves of throwing up, Jack looked over, rolled his eyes, but looked over again sharply. He finished what he was doing faster than he should have, digging around in the truck until he found a few paper napkins.

He waited until I looked back up, whimpering about my stomach and the taste of blood in my mouth before he clasped the napkins over my mouth tightly.

"Jesus fucking Christ." Jack growled, "Get in the damn truck."

"I'm not done." I complained behind the napkins and his hand, but he steered me back over to the truck anyway, looking around us quickly. He picked me up, and placed me actually kind of gently on the seat. Slamming the door and rounding the truck quickly. I pulled the napkins back and looked down at them as he climbed back in.

There was blood all over them. Frowning, I stuck out my tongue and wiped it off. More blood. I must have thrown up a lot of blood if it would linger that much.

He took off without even pausing to put on his seat belt, leaving the trash can far behind.

"Shit, shit, shit." He was pissed off again.

"I'm fine." I told both him and myself. Reaching for the half-empty bottle of water on the floorboard, I quickly unscrewed the cap and took a mouthful.

"You're not fine." He snapped, "Fucking _obviously_!"

Lowering the window, I leaned my head out and spit out the water. I did that twice more until I thought I was okay to speak.

"I'm fine." I repeated, and he laughed humorlessly. Shaking his head.

"I must have knocked a few screws loose." He grumbled.

I wanted to reply, but I suddenly had to dive for the bag. I dumped out the contents in the bag in a hurry, before covering my mouth and nose with it. In this awkward position, it was hard to not feel the intense pain in my stomach.

Thankfully, nothing else came out. It was just a few incredibly painful dry heaves. I couldn't help sobbing to myself as he made it onto the interstate. Reaching over, I rolled the window back up when his speed increased.

"How long has that been going on?" Jack snapped over at me.

"I don't know." I whimpered, hugging my stomach and curling into an upright ball, "I just noticed it yesterday."

"Before or after I kicked you?"

"Before." I answered, and he cursed again loudly.

"I told you years ago to tell me this shit!" He was really pissed off now, "That shit would have been really nice to know!" I knew he was just scared.

"You wouldn't have believed me." I replied, and he glanced over.

"How often do you try to get out of something like that by lying about throwing up blood?"

"Almost as many times as I run away for a night." I countered, and that seemed to shut him up.

Now that I knew what I was looking for, it was easy to spot the black car following us inconspicuously. A car length behind us in the other lane. I didn't look too long at it, just in case Jack would notice too.

"Here." He reached out to the glovebox again, "Take two more."

"I'll get them." I told him when I noticed the truck drift a bit toward the lane beside us, "Just don't kill us." He seemed to agree, sitting straight again.

"We've still got a few hours before we get there." He grumbled, shaking his head, "Dammit."

I didn't bother replying, fighting open the bottle. Forcing my trembling hands to steady.

"Take three this time." Jack told me, and I just did as he told me, "I don't want to hear you bitching the rest of the way that your stomach hurts." He was back to his normal self. Part of me was happy about that. It made it easier to calm down.

Once that was out of the way, I sat forward in my seat. I was barely able to see out the window, until I tucked one leg under my butt. I suffered in silence, staring out the window at all the scenery passing by. It was pretty boring, but as tired and bored as I was, I didn't shut my eyes. The lines on the road darting by had a very calming effect.

I watched the other cars around us, some going way even faster than we were, others going about our speed. I watched as the road around us changed depending how close or how far we were between cities. My favorite was the six lanes of traffic, versus the two or three. It was just more exciting. Coming from a really small town, I didn't get to see things like this very often.

It was very obvious that Jack knew right where he was going. He didn't seem unsure in the slightest. Knowing exactly which lane he needed to be in and when, which was kind of amazing to me. I was so lost, but that wasn't that surprising.

"Hey." Jack pulled me out of my thoughts about an hour later, "Light me one of those." He nodded toward one of the new packs of cigarettes on the floor.

"Can I have one?" I asked.

"I don't fucking care." He replied, glancing over at me, "Just keep it low, alright? I'm not supposed to be letting you fucking smoke." I nodded, leaning down and grabbing the pack of cigarettes.

I must have been losing my mind, because I was having a hard time not laughing. He glanced over again, noticing the smile I struggled with as I ripped off the clear packaging, opening the lid.

"Hey," He barked before I could remove the silver bit inside, "Pack those. Haven't you learned anything?"

I never packed them, but I knew what he meant, so I did as he said. I turned the pack upside down in my hand, tapping the top against my hand a few times. Struggling not to laugh to myself.

"What?" He asked.

"Just the way you said that." I replied with a small laugh and shake of my head. To my intense surprise, he chuckled as well. It was quiet, but I definitely heard it. I pulled a cigarette loose, lit it and held it out for him. He took it carefully from me.

"Gimmie that." He chuckled again, shaking his head, "Fucking weirdo." I took that as a compliment. Lighting my own cigarette, I did as he said. Keeping it low so none of the other drivers around us could see if they happened to glance over.

More silence followed as we left the major cities behind for the moment. I had no idea how Jack hadn't yet noticed the black car that was always behind him. Most likely he had a lot on his mind.

As the morning stretched to afternoon, the silence dragged on between us like the road passed underneath us. Now and then I would look over at him. In the weirdest way, I liked looking at him when he wasn't looking at me. It was like looking at a whole different person as he focused on whatever he was doing. When he wasn't mad, or hating me. He was almost normal in those moments. Like he wasn't my personal enemy.

It was probably those moments that fascinated me just enough to ease the constant fear around him a bit. It was rare I got to see this part of him, but even Jack couldn't hate twenty-four-seven. I couldn't help it, though. My interest ran deep, and I wanted to figure him out.

I never looked for very long, just in case he caught me. Knowing what I knew about him, it felt wrong in a way. I knew more about him than I was sure he knew about himself. Certainly way more than he ever wanted me to know.

In no way did it excuse the way he treated me, but he hadn't had the best life growing up either. I'd heard the stories from Heather herself about how he was treated. Jack was the son of a very sadistic man, and the unwanted product between two people that hated each other with a passion. Just as much as Heather was. Things between he and Heather changed the day she ran away from home, and she said her running away messed with him.

Heather's feelings had always been complicated when it came to her brother, but I never heard the exact reason why that was. I never pressed, and she never offered.

Honestly, I wouldn't know how I would feel either if I had a sibling.

From what I'd gathered on my own, and from what Heather had eventually told me, was none of what happened was Jack's choice. Jack was always claiming to care about her, and in some strange way, I could see it. He was always protective of her, not possessive like most would believe him to be. There was a very, very subtle difference.

Knowing all I knew about him really made me wonder what things he would think about when he wasn't stuck with thoughts of hating me. When his guard was down, just a little bit, I could almost see him as a person.

I didn't like it, but I could understand just a bit why he hated so much. Jack had always known hate. Jack was what I would have turned into had I never met the Cullens. If I had a chance to grow up with nothing but him leading an example. If I'd never had a chance to know anything different.

If there was one thing I learned from him during all my years of getting to know who he was, it was that there were so many different ways to hate. Hate was a complicated emotion just like all the others. It was never black and white.

He looked over at me sharply, and I quickly looked away. Breaking myself out of my thoughts.

"What the fuck do you keep staring at?" He barked, and I shook my head.

"Nothing." I replied, looking back out the window.

"Well, cut it out."

"Sorry." I mumbled, sighing. I put an end to that train of thought with another quick shake of my head. As busy as my mind had been since I woke up on the Cullen's couch, it felt like it was just getting harder to control the direction my thoughts went.

Jack eventually took an exit off the interstate, and I cheered in my mind. We'd been driving for hours at this point, and sitting in the same spot wasn't working for me anymore. I needed to stretch so badly. My legs and hips were screaming in cramping pain, and I'd spent the last thirty minutes fidgeting in my seat. For more than one reason.

"Please tell me wherever we're going has a bathroom." I mumbled over the sound of the truck's turn signal.

"It fucking better." He replied.

He found another gas station right off the interstate, but this one had a restaurant attached to it.

I was glad when Jack gestured me out of the truck with him this time to go in and pay for the gas. Probably because I needed the bathroom so bad. Thankfully, this place had bathrooms easily accessible. As soon as I spotted the blue restroom sign, I was waddling off.

"Don't take forever." Jack called after me. I glanced back, acknowledging him.

What I didn't realize, though, was that because of the position of the sun outside, Alice could follow me right in there. I was in a bit of a hurry, so I didn't even think to look for her. I really had to go.

She at least waited for me to get done before I even knew she was in there. I jumped when I saw her as I walked out of the stall, sighing heavily as I moved for the sink.

She didn't say anything at first, just watching me in the mirror as I washed my hands. I couldn't read her expression.

"I know." I finally mumbled, leaning down and rinsing my mouth out again. I pressed my wet hands to my face, appreciating the cool water against my skin. I wasn't sure if I was just tired, or if I was actually running a fever. Either way, though, it felt nice.

"As much as I understand," She said after another moment, "That understanding is reaching its end. It becomes an issue when you attempt to kill yourself over this."

"I'm not trying to kill myself." I replied softly, grabbing several handfuls of paper towels, and patting my face dry.

"Well, that's what you're doing." She countered, "And I thought you told Edward you wouldn't smoke anymore."

I rolled my eyes, "Does that really matter right now?"

"Yes." She replied firmly, "Smoking makes it really hard for your body to repair itself. You don't heal as well as you could."

"It's all I have anymore." I shook my head, "I can't eat.. Nothing I eat stays down. I haven't tried drinking any water, but it's probably the same. Just let me have that."

"That means you have three to five days," She told me pointedly, "At most, before-"

"That's plenty of time."

"And that's if whatever internal bleeding you have doesn't get worse." She went on as if I hadn't spoken, "One wrong breath and it can get worse. A cough, a sneeze.."

"I'm fine." I mumbled, throwing the paper towels away.

"No, you're not." She said, "Leandra, stop-"

"Let me do this." I hated the way my firm voice sounded echoing back at me in the room. It bothered me a lot to talk to her like that, but she wasn't listening. She wasn't listening, so the only option I had was to raise my voice, and hope that worked.

"Leandra, sometimes you can't change what you saw." She countered, "That's what you're not understanding."

"I can." I argued, "I can, if you'd just let me."

"We're already involved in your life." She pointed out, "It's too late to change that now. Either way, you're stuck with us. Either way, we're going to know about Jack and what he's done."

"But he won't know you." I replied, "That's the difference."

"Why is this so important?" She asked, "Leandra, I'm trying so hard to understand, but there has to be a limit."

I sighed, looking down. The least I could do was try to explain it a little clearer.

"Last time," I started quieter, "When I called Carlisle to come get me, he did. Remember.. Do you remember when I said I actually live my visions?"

"Of course." She replied gently.

"I can still feel what that was like." I said, "I can still feel what it was like running away like I did. I was _so_ scared, but when Carlisle showed up, I knew I would be okay. He did something for me that day nobody's ever done for me, and from then on, it was like that. I guess I still feel like that. I woke up knowing what kind of people all you guys are, and.. I just.. I guess I feel like I got you all into this mess, and I need to keep you from knowing what it's like to have to run away from Jack like I did. It's the scariest thing I can think of."

She was quiet, and I could tell she understood a bit better where I was coming from. I looked down sadly, moving to step around her.

"Wait." She requested, and I hesitated, looking back at her, "Which one of us is your favorite?" That seemed like an odd question.

"I don't have a favorite." I admitted, "I care about all of you for different reasons."

"For example?"

"Umm.." I sighed, "You and Carlisle, I guess. I knew you first and you were always the one that wouldn't believe me when I tried to lie. You were always there for me, and you were always the one that wouldn't let me give up."

"And Carlisle?" She prompted, and I hesitated, looking down.

"He was the one that taught me that it was okay to trust again." I mumbled, "I mean, everyone was, but.. Like I said. He came and got me that day. He was the one that always thought about what was best for me, no matter what it was. He tried the hardest to protect me. Both times."

"What about.." She smiled a little, "Jasper?"

I could see what she was doing, but I played along. It was nice to have a conversation like this, and it gave me a chance to vent. To really explain what a few of my thoughts were.

"He was the tough one." I replied easily this time, "He was the one that tried to teach me how to protect myself. He helped me figure out why I felt the way I felt when I was having trouble figuring it out on my own. He was the one telling me things in ways nobody else would."

"And Edward?"

I paused for a moment to think, moving my hands behind me to grip the sink as I carefully leaned back against it.

"I think he tried to stay away from me." I admitted, "Not because he was mad or anything, but because he didn't want to listen in when I didn't want him to. I have a hard time picking what thoughts I have, and what ones I don't. I liked him, though. He was around less when him and Bella got married, but that's.. A pretty confusing time, because a lot changes between the two different visions kinda leading up to it." She nodded in understanding.

"Rosalie?" She prompted.

I hummed in thought, "She never really liked me that much, but I know that that's just how she is. It's not like she was really mean to me, she just didn't stick around me too much, either."

She smiled, "Emmett?"

I couldn't help smiling instantly as well. I attempted to hide it at first, but I knew she saw it, so I sighed and answered.

"He was the best brother." I said, "He likes to pretend to be nothing but tough, but.. He's not always that way. If I was sad or whatever, he'd pick me up." My smile grew sad though, before it faded, "He always promised to protect me, but in the end, it got him killed. He died trying to save me."

This was clearly not the direction she was hoping this line of questioning to go.

"And Esme.." I went on without prompting, "She did so much for me, but.. She's one of the reasons why I wanna do this so bad. She doesn't know what I know.. About what happens to her, what.. What Jack does to her, but I wanna keep it that way."

"What do you mean?" She asked, concerned.

"I can't be selfish anymore." I replied, "It's not that I don't wanna be saved, because I do. I _really_ do. It's just.. Both times I let you save me, so much went wrong. For you guys, and for me. All because I didn't make the right choice in the beginning. I can't go back and change that choice, but I can fix it now, where I'm at." I sighed, "You don't know how much better for you it would be if I'd never met you."

She was about to reply, but she stopped herself, looking toward the door just as a loud knock came to it. It pushed open an inch.

"Hey." It was Jack, "You still in there?"

"Yeah." I immediately replied, "I'm almost done."

"Hurry it up." He said, and I looked to Alice.

"Okay." I called back, turning around and turning on the sink again. The door closed and I sighed, "It's not your choice this time, Alice. It's mine. I'm gonna do this right, even if it kills me."

"I can make it my choice." She replied sadly, "Right now, if I chose to."

"No you can't." I countered, "You-"

"Esme found your father."

"That doesn't matter." I shook my head, "Just because you know where he is doesn't mean they'll care. Something.. Went wrong when I was little. My dad didn't like me being around Jack, and pretty much thought my mom was being really stupid over it, so he took me away for three days."

"Oh." She muttered, her voice dropping in understanding.

"Yeah." I replied flatly, "Jack used that against him. He told him that if he ever tried to be in my life again, he'd press charges. Whatever that meant. So he had to get rid of his rights. He gave them to Jack. Jack adopted me when I was four. My dad has no say in what Jack wants to do with me. It's different now, remember? If anything happens to him, I go to Ken. I'm not going to Ken. I'll jump off a bridge first. O-Or I'll jump in front of a car or something. I'm not going to him."

"Calm down." She murmured, "What happened?"

"Remember those reasons I told you about earlier?" I asked, and she waited so I went on in a smaller voice, "They're not good reasons."

It took her a second to form a reply, the surprise clear in her eyes.

"And you expect me to let you-"

"It's not up to you." I argued, "But.. All I have to do is stay on Jack's good side, and he won't want to leave me there. Remember? It was the card that made him wanna leave me there last time."

She rolled her eyes with a heavy sigh just before another knock came to the door.

"Hurry it up." Jack was back to remind me.

"I've gotta go." I whispered as quietly as I could before turning for the door, "Coming." I yanked open the door, leaving Alice in there as I stepped out.

"Took you long enough." Jack grumbled, "Come on." He grabbed for my hand, which I allowed.

While I was in there, he'd obviously found us a table. Unfortunately against the window, which was clearly seen by the row of parking spots outside. He sat on one side of the table, I sat on the other. Behind Jack, outside down the row a bit, I wasn't surprised to see Carlisle's car sitting there. I couldn't see inside, but I knew he could see me easily.

I refused to let myself look outside for too long. Except for one time, and that was as Alice made it back outside to Carlisle's car. Using the shade of the building as cover. I knew they weren't leaving until we did, so I sighed.

"Here." I jumped a little as Jack placed a cup in front of me. I recognized the clear liquid inside as ice water. I looked up at him.

"I can't."

"Just drink it slow." He replied, "You probably threw up earlier because you inhaled that son-of-a-bitch." He had a point, so I tried it. I sipped a little more than it took to taste it. I winced a little as the cold of it slightly stung the inside of my mouth, but other than that, it seemed fine for now.

There really wasn't much to report on, aside from how little I ate. Mostly just a small bite here or there from whatever Jack handed me. I was fine with that. With the smaller bites, my stomach didn't react anywhere near as harshly. That gave me a little bit of hope.

Jack flirted with the waitress a little bit while I stared out the window. It annoyed me, but I didn't bother worrying about it. I had more pressing issues.

Alice and Carlisle were getting closer to being on the same page. That was concerning because at any point they could decide to call the cops. I wasn't worried about having to lie. I was more worried about losing that trust in them, as odd as it was to admit to myself.

But then I thought about it. Wouldn't being nervous about them calling be the same as losing trust in them? The problem was that none of this was as important to them as it was to me, because they didn't know. There was no way I could possibly explain right, and even if I could, they would always think they knew better. Maybe they did feel like they knew better, but I knew more.

A french fry was slid across the table at me, so I picked it up and nibbled on it.

If they really thought I was only being stubborn purely for the sake of being stubborn, they really had no hope at knowing me. I would have given anything to give up and let them make the decisions, but I really couldn't do that without knowing exactly where the consequences of that decision would take them. And me.

I couldn't live with the consequences of that. Not again. My lack of faith in them wasn't their fault, but it was something I just couldn't get passed.

Even more worrisome, however, was what waited for me at the end of this trip. Right now, I was okay, but once we got to where we were going, that would change. I'd purposefully left out that massive little detail. All Alice had asked before was whether or not Jack would lay off. He did, but nobody had really asked about Ken.

Most of my worry centered on Ken. I worried about having to face him myself, and I worried about them finding out exactly what kind of person he was. If they were tailing me all the way to California, it wouldn't take them long to figure it out.

"Hey."

I shook my head a bit as Jack took my attention.

Reaching into his light jacket pocket, he pulled out a small bottle of pills. Unscrewing the cap, he dumped out a single pill and palmed it before he screwed the top back onto the bottle.

"Here." He said, handing me the small pill, "Take this." I wanted to ask what it was, but it hadn't been an option, so I took it without an argument. He nodded a little, placing the bottle back in his jacket pocket, "If you get a little tired, don't fucking panic."

Well, at least he'd given me a heads up. It hit me fast. Whatever it was he had given me was obviously stronger than he thought, as before we even made it outside, I was nearly falling over. He caught me, thankfully, placing his arm around my shoulders, squishing me against his side and walking me, half carrying me toward the truck. Conveniently parked right next to Carlisle's car.

I didn't give that much thought. I couldn't. He pulled open the driver's side door, giving me a decent boost into the truck. I could feel myself being watched. I didn't even have enough time to look toward the shiny black car before Jack was sitting down as well.

"If you're gonna sit up here," Jack told me, slamming the door shut, "Put your seat belt on, or lay down." I wasted no time in laying down in the same position I'd woken up in that morning. He nodded a little, "That's what I thought."

I fell asleep almost as soon as we made it back onto the interstate, minutes later.

 **A/N: This one was kind of a mellow chapter compared to my others. (:  
Don't worry, though. It'll pick up.**  
 **I'm loving reading my reviewer's thoughts! THANK YOU for your continued support! It means so much to me. (: As for the rest of my readers.. Please feel free to join the review club! It doesn't hurt, I promise. There are free cookies, and I'm working on t-shirts.**  
 **Anyhooo.. Chapter five will take about as much time as this four did. Not long at all.**  
 **Until Five, my BEAUTIFUL readers!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

I woke up what felt like only minutes later to the sharp, bleachy smell of the stiff sheets dropped over me. All the daylight was gone from around me, and we weren't in the truck anymore. The darkness of the room paralyzed me at first, especially as I heard Jack's breathing and felt him in the bed behind me where I laid on my side. I hadn't been prepared for this, and had absolutely no idea where we were.

It took me a minute before I remembered. The motel.

This was where Jack had decided to stop for the night. What I remembered of last time, he was far too tired to even glance at me twice, so I knew I was okay. With that worry slightly calmed, I focused more on coming around.

I hated this feeling so much.

I felt stiff, and I took a sharp, deep breath in. It felt good to do that, like I hadn't done that in a long while, but my heart pounded too hard. Not fast like it would in fear, but like it was trying too hard.

I was disoriented, though. How long had I been sleeping for? I tried to remember the last time I saw the time while searching lazily for the current time in the darkness. I didn't find any, so my eyes closed again briefly.

My eyes burned with tiredness, so I knew if I tried, I'd still be able to sleep. My stomach rolled with nausea, though, so I couldn't let myself stay paralyzed for too long. It was what had woken me up.

The longer I laid there awake, the faster that nausea got worse, and I knew I only had a short time before I would throw up whether I was ready for it or not. Even warm under the thin, scratchy blanket, I shivered coldly.

With a deep whimper, I sat up and forced myself out from under the blanket. I couldn't see too well, but a deeper piece of darkness across the room looked a lot like the door to the bathroom.

I had to be careful in my quest, as I felt extremely unsteady on my feet, but I still hurried. Thankfully not running into anything as I searched for the doorway. My hand searched frantically for the light switch, finding it almost easily in the normal light switch place. I didn't have time to close the door before I fell forward, hurting both my wrists as my hands caught my fall on the cold bathroom floor.

Unfortunately, I missed the toilet on the first wave. Solid crimson landed sharply against the white tile of the floor, and I slid a bit in my attempt to scramble closer.

It really scared me to see how much blood I was losing this time. I knew it was because it'd had hours to build up in there, but it still wasn't a welcome sight or taste. It was darker in color now, a dark crimson red, and the pain was worse now. It still literally felt like someone was stabbing me in the stomach, but worse. I'd never felt this amount of internal pain before.

I had no choice but to cry. I couldn't hold it back. I could feel the heaviness of the blood on my lips as I sat back, more dizzy than I had been yet. I felt so cold, and I wasn't entirely sure if it was caused by how tired I was. I trembled on my knees, my arms folded across my stomach as I tried to hold back the pain and to warm myself up.

"Shut up, please." Jack snapped from the bed, "Some people like to sleep."

"Jack.." I couldn't help calling him. As scared as I was, it was a slight relief to hear him growl as he sat up. Moments later, I looked over at him in the doorway as he sighed hard. Shirtless, but his jeans still in place. I didn't particularly like seeing him shirtless, because it made it obvious how strong he was and somehow intimidated me even more than usual, but I didn't exactly care right then.

"Goddammit." He took in the scene, for a moment before he shook his head, "Fucking really?" He gestured to the floor, "Could you have made it look any _more_ like I murdered a fucking hooker in here? Fucking hell, it's _every_ where."

I had no idea what he wanted me to say to that. Looking down at the pure bloody mess I'd made, I wasn't sure what to do. I waited for his irritation to fly head-on into anger, biting my lip.

However, it didn't do that. Instead, he sighed hard.

"Well?" He barked lightly, "Don't just sit there. Clean yourself up." I nodded and forced myself to stand up. I must have moved too fast, as a strong wave of dizziness had me nearly fall over. To my surprise, Jack caught my arm tightly, keeping me from hitting the wall but hurting my arm a little in the process.

Instead of complaining, though, I just looked up at him. Without a word, he let me go and left the room. I braced myself on the sink instead, shaking off my surprise as I turned on the cold water.

He came back in without a word, leaning around me to grab a towel from the rack behind the door. He threw the towel onto the bloody mess, before he turned to me and shook out a thin, clear plastic bag.

"Clothes." He snapped his fingers at me, and I looked down at myself. Though my sweater was black, I could still tell it was coated in a layer of blood. Just down the front. My jeans were more noticeably coated, from the knees down and a bit on the left thigh.

I took the hint. As quickly as I could, pulling off my shirt and jeans and placing them in the bag myself, just so he wouldn't have to. They left a decent bloody streak on the inside of the bag, but I looked away from that.

He seemed satisfied with that, bunching up the bag and setting it to the side for the moment while he used his foot to mop up the floor with the towel.

I went on with my task, rinsing out my mouth first. I was no stranger to the taste of blood, but tasting this much all at once almost made me sick all over again. Thankfully, I didn't get it anywhere else. Just on my clothes, and a little bit around my mouth.

I watched Jack behind me in the mirror. I honestly couldn't tell what he was feeling. I couldn't read him, and that made me nervous. I wasn't sure if I should apologize, or if I should just leave it. My nervousness kept me silent, so I just left it.

He soaked another towel in the bathtub, wringing it out before going over the floor again with it. Before long at all, he'd mopped up any hint of blood on the floor.

"Get dressed." He told me as he left the room, the large plastic bag filled with my clothes and both towels in his hand. With the bag being clear, it was obvious that the items inside were bloody. I wasn't sure what he was going to do with it, but I would let him figure that out.

I wasn't sure what we were going to do. Were we going to stay, or were we going to go? That answer made a difference in what I would choose to wear, so I looked to him to find out what he was wanting to do. It was easy enough to figure out, as he already had his shoes on and was in the process of pulling on a clean t-shirt.

I found my bag next to his, and got to picking out my clothes. I knew not to pick out anything too warm, but long sleeved. I had a few shirts like that in there, so I chose the dark blue and purple striped long-sleeved t-shirt. I'd almost forgotten that I'd gotten new clothes before this trip.

Jack came to my side just as I'd gotten my jeans on, and I looked up at him as he lifted his bag.

"Just.." He hesitated, frowning deeply as he gestured to the bathroom, "Don't fucking do that when we get there."

"I won't." I mumbled. He gave a tired nod, opened the door and left the room. I grabbed my bag and followed him outside. The cold night air made me feel even worse, stinging my clammy skin. I shivered hard, just letting the door close behind me.

Once we were back in the truck, things slowed down again. Continuing our journey at two in the morning. He was tired as hell, I could tell, but for some reason, he believed his sister could help me.

Truthfully, I was terrified. I was no stranger to bleeding, but that had been a whole lot of blood all at once. Of course, it almost made sense that this would be happening now, as I'd experienced this before in the visions, but this was different. It looked like a lot in comparison to the sharp, white floor but truthfully, it wasn't too much. It was just a truly horrifying sight, and it scared the hell out of me.

I was losing hope by the moment that I'd ever make it home. Something in me was broken, obviously, and broken badly. It really didn't take long for me to start to cry. Not only was the pain intense, but the fear was very real as well. I was stuck. I really didn't want to die, but I'd already made it my responsibility to protect the ones I loved from knowing what kind of life waited for them if I stayed in their lives.

Right then, there was still a small chance that I could convince them to leave me behind, but if I were to give in, they would take the responsibility of protection right away from me, and I would wind up right back where I started.

"Quit crying." Jack told me firmly, "Lay down." I did as he said, sniffling deeply as I did so. I laid there in so much pain, physically and emotionally, but I did everything I could to be silent about my suffering. My eyes hurt with how hard I cried, so I left them closed.

I must have fallen back to sleep, because when I opened my eyes next, the sun was already up. I could tell, though, that it was very early morning. The truck was empty, and I realized that it was the door closing that woke me up. We were parked in the sun this time, so I knew Alice wouldn't come pressure me again.

I needed to sit up, though. Laying down was making that nausea worse. I blinked in the sunlight coming through the windows, looking around. Rubbing my eyes as they adjusted to the light and squinting a little.

We were parked right out front of a convenience store, close enough for me to see Jack inside talking to the cashier. Around the side of the building, the shady side, I could see Carlisle's car parked there. Of course. I knew with the tint, they could have parked right next to us, but that was way too conspicuous.

I stretched as much as I could without crying in pain, yawning. I ached in the worst way, and my head pounded. My eyes felt tired and puffy, but I knew that was just from crying myself to sleep a few hours ago.

I leaned my head against the window, watching the black car in nervousness.

I wanted to say something, but I really didn't know what to say that would make this any easier on them. I'd already told them all I could to get them to just move on, but a selfish part of me was grateful that they had stuck with me this far.

Nothing I could say would make any of this okay. I could feel the way I must have looked to them. I felt like complete crap, and I knew I looked the same way.

Jack came back outside about a minute later, carrying a huge cup in his hand as well as a small bag. He opened the door and handed me the bag. I took it for him as he stepped in.

"We'll be there in about thirty minutes." He told me, closing the door, "Just sit tight." I nodded, taking a breath and sighing, "Eat."

Frowning, I peered into the bag and spotted a chocolate bar among the packs of cigarettes and small box containing a bottle of pills sitting in there. He bought me these because I could suck on the pieces instead of having to eat them whole. I grabbed one, setting the bag on the floor as he started up the truck.

"Thank you." I told him and he nodded.

"Once you've had a few pieces," He said, "Take one of those pills. Just _one_."

"Will it make me tired?"

"Does it fucking matter at this point?" He snapped in reply, "Just fucking do it." I shut up then, and decided to just do what he said. I reached back into the bag and pulled out the box, looking it over. I had no idea what any of it meant, but I assumed it was something to make me stop complaining.

He pulled out his phone as soon as we left the parking lot, dialing a number as we sat at a red light. I almost gagged as soon as I heard Ken's voice faintly on the other end.

"Yeah." Jack spoke, "We're almost there. I know we're early."

I couldn't hear Ken's response, but the way Jack nodded told me it was fine.

"Please tell me Heather is there already." He waited for a few seconds, listening before he sighed heavily, "Good." Another, more brief pause until he spoke again, "Nothing. Yeah, I'll explain when I get there. Let's just say I might have fucked up even worse." Hearing him admit it like that surprised me, but I just looked out the window. I didn't see the black car at first, until we rounded a curve onto another busy street. They were there, three cars behind us.

"Yeah." Jack mumbled before hanging up. We were stopped at yet another red light, and I noticed he was really distracted. Especially considering that this was the turn he needed to make to get to Ken's house. He was still in the straight lane.

"What?" I asked quietly. He shook his head at first, his eyes on the rear view mirror.

"I swear to fucking god." He replied, "That damn car has been behind us since Oregon."

I hesitated for a moment, thinking fast.

"Which one?" I asked, turning a little to try to look but he faced me forward again. His grip on my arm a little tighter than was comfortable.

"The black one." He said, and instead of turning, I looked into the side mirror. Sure enough, spotting them in the other straight lane, two cars back.

"It's probably nothing." I mumbled. I couldn't see anything passed the top of their dashboard through the windshield, though, thankfully.

"Well, we'll see." He grumbled, replacing his hand on the wheel, gripping it as he glared into the rear view mirror. The light turned green, and as soon as the little gray car in front of us started moving, we did too. We went down the busy street a little ways, and he eventually sped up a bit to merge quickly into the right lane. Gaining a brief but irritated honk from the car we dove in front of, and making me fall over into the door beside me.

I hadn't the first clue about driving, but even I knew that that had been a very unsafe thing for him to do.

"Fuck off." Jack grumbled to himself, focusing on what he was doing while I righted myself in my seat. Glancing over at him.

He took the turn lane into a small shopping area, pulling into the parking lot. To my intense relief, Carlisle kept going. I watched his car continue on down the street before I looked down. That had been a close one. Too close. Carlisle had obviously heard him acknowledge them, and that wasn't a good thing. If Jack found out about them following us, he'd probably kill me himself.

"Shit." I didn't like the sound of Jack's tone, so I looked back up sharply. His focus was behind us, so I looked back. It wasn't the black car that had followed us in here, but a cop. Lights on and everything. Where in the fuck did he come from?

I watched intently out the window, hoping it wasn't us he was interested in, but it sure was. Cursing the entire time, Jack pulled to the emptier far side of the parking lot. Stopping against the curb outside a row of closed stores. His nervousness made me nervous, and I waited for instructions.

"Hide that shit." He told me, gesturing at the bag of bloody clothes sitting openly on the back seat. I moved faster than I should have, turning back and grabbing the heavy bag and stuffing it as far as I could underneath my seat. While I was doing that, Jack had taken the cup he'd gotten at the convenience store and dumped part of the contents on the seat between us before dumping a bit in my lap and shoving the cup at me the second I was upright enough to take it. It was coffee, and it was pretty warm, but cooling rapidly.

Taking a breath, I knew what he was getting at. Reaching down, I grabbed handfuls of thin napkins and scrubbed at the seat. Jack lifted up a bit so he could pull his wallet out of his back pocket with more cursing.

In the mean time, the cop had just gotten out of his car and was slowly walking over to us. Jack had his window down before the cop had even gotten to us, which it seemed he appreciated.

"Morning." The cop greeted him. Jack laughed warmly, and I knew he was about to charm his way out of trouble. I offered a small smile, hoping to help him do so.

"Morning." Jack replied, "I'm really sorry about that back there."

"Glad you know why I stopped you." The cop nodded a little, "Can I see your license and registration please?"

"Sure thing." Jack nodded, reaching over me and opening the glove box. He dug around a bit, pulling out a paper and handing it to the cop. He spoke again, nodding toward the cup in my hands, "My daughter here is a bit clumsy this morning."

The cops eyes landed on me, and I smiled again. As genuinely as I could, which seemed to be just enough as he returned it. Taking Jack's drivers license as he handed it over.

"I see." The cop nodded, looking over his license, "You know that doesn't excuse reckless driving."

"I'm fully aware." Jack agreed, "I wasn't thinking."

"Mind if I ask what she was just doing?" He asked, gesturing to me. He must have seen me dive into the back.

"Napkins." I answered, "They were back there." That seemed to answer his question, as he nodded.

"Well, Mr. Wallace," He said, "If you would just hang out here for a minute for me, I'll be right back."

"Of course." Jack laughed again, and with a nod, the cop turned and walked back to his car. Jack's smile faded the second the cop was gone and he growled in irritation, rubbing his face hard with his hand.

I stayed silent, biting my lip as I watched out the back window. Jack stayed silent as well, and didn't even notice when the black car pulled in across the lot. My heart sank, pounding hard until it parked on the far side of another car. I could barely see it, so I knew Jack wouldn't see it.

"You're doing good." Jack told me tightly, "Just keep it up." I nodded easily. I adjusted how I kneeled on the seat, biting my lip nervously. I knew Jack was nervous too, just by looking at him. The longer the cop took to come back, the more time Jack had to worry about whether or not someone had called something in.

As that thought crossed my mind, I looked out the window again. I wasn't sure how all that was supposed to work, but if he got caught here, I would definitely be going to Ken.

"I swear to fucking god, you little bitch." Jack muttered under his breath, "If anything happens because of this.." I knew then he had the same worry. I whimpered, looking out the window once more. It was clear that the cop was talking with someone. He was too far back for me to clearly see what kind of mood he was in.

"I didn't say anything." I whimpered, looking at Jack again.

"You wouldn't have fucking had to." He snapped through his teeth, looking over at me, "I fucking told you to stay home."

Before we both could get too worked up, the cop climbed back out of his car. I had to force back tears of fear before the cop could see them, looking down as I held my breath against the emotion of panic. My throat felt like it was closing.

"Well," The cop sighed as he got back to the window, "Everything here checks out, and I would hate to mark up your record for something so minor. Since you were so cooperative, I'm gonna leave this at a warning." I bit back the sob of relief. I was having a harder time controlling my trembling, so I held tighter to the cup of coffee still in my hands.

Jack sighed, "Thank you." With a nod, the cop handed him back his license and the piece of paper.

"Just be sure to be more careful in the future, Mr. Wallace." He replied, "And I might strongly suggest she gets a booster seat or rides in the back." He gestured to me, "She's still a bit small to be riding in the front seat without being properly secure. They might let that slide back in Washington, but around here, it's dangerous."

"Oh, of course." Jack replied with another chuckle, "We were just stopped for a minute, and my father's house is right here up the road, I thought it would be okay." I immediately turned over and scurried into the back seat.

"Well, I just want you folks to be safe." The cop said, "I know how kids are. I've got three of them myself. Just slow it down a bit, okay?"

"I will." Jack nodded, "Thank you again."

"You're welcome." The cop replied, "You guys have a great day."

"You too." Jack replied with another warm smile. With that, the cop walked away.

"He was nice." I commented shakily.

"Get your fucking seat belt on." Jack snapped, and I knew he was in a bad mood. I bit my lip again and immediately pulled the seat belt across me, snapping it into place with some effort. He replaced his license in his wallet, and the piece of paper into the glove box before slamming the door shut.

We got slowly got moving again, and I could tell he was being extra careful. After that close call, Jack seemed to have forgotten all about looking for that black car. Thankfully, because he would have seen it if he would have looked.

"That was way too fucking close." He grumbled, shaking his head as he got back on the road. Going back the way we'd come.

"I told you I didn't say anything."

"Shut the fuck up." He snapped again, so I bit my lip. I felt sick again, breathing deep and trying to calm down.

I sighed, looking back behind us. That seemed acceptable now. I didn't see them, which worried me a little as we came to the stop light we needed to turn at. They weren't following us this time.

He took the turn when he could, and I could suddenly see Ken's house at the end of the street. I really started getting nervous. I'd already run away from this place once. What would this time be like?

He pulled up to the curb, parking it immediately. I looked over at the house as the front door opened as soon as he turned the truck off. My heart dropped as I spotted Ken, and I immediately looked down. Jack climbed out as Ken started our direction, coming over to greet him.

"So." Ken's voice was quiet, but I could just hear him, "What's going on?" Jack sighed, reached over and opened my door for me.

"This." Jack gestured to me tucked away behind the front passenger seat, and I sat quietly, "This is what's going on."

"What about her?" Ken asked, immediately starting his act with a smile, "Well, hello there."

"Hi." I replied quietly, glancing over at him and feeling my stomach tumble.

"She doesn't look too good." Ken commented, "Almost no color in those cheeks." He reached back and lightly pinched my cheek.

"Is Heather up yet?" Jack asked.

"Come inside." Ken said, standing straighter, "We'll talk in there."

"Yeah." Jack agreed with a sigh, looking to me. I took the hint and started moving. Climbing out of the truck painfully. Wincing as I landed too hard on my feet with a whimper. As soon as I was on my feet, though, Ken seemed to understand.

"Oh." He said, having just watched me stand up, "Oh, I see."

"Yeah." Jack repeated, looking over at him flatly.

"Come on." Ken sighed, reaching down and taking my hand. I followed Ken, probably easier than I should have. I just didn't really have it in me to resist anymore. I did drag my feet a little bit, in hopes it left behind enough of a scent.

I stepped inside, keeping my eyes down. I didn't want to look around and see the place I remembered so clearly. Ken led me toward the kitchen, taking a right toward a hallway. Once in the hallway, he turned right again, into a room that looked like an office. Jack paused in the doorway as Ken looked back at him.

"Upstairs," Ken said, "In the second guest room. Heather is up there. Go get her." Jack looked to me, and I understood the look in his eyes. I nodded. Jack turned and Ken closed the door before looking to me. I kept my eyes down, trembling a little where I stood. I didn't think I'd be left alone with him this soon. I wasn't prepared for this.

I was terrified of this man, and I was sure it showed. For the first time since I really woke up, I actually hated the fact that I remembered so much.

With a sigh, Ken crouched down.

"What's your name, darling?" He asked.

"Leandra." I replied quietly, unable to make my voice very strong.

"How bad are you hurt?" He asked me, "Can you show me?" I hesitated just a moment before I reached down and lifted my shirt over my stomach. I glanced down as well, noting that almost my entire midsection was black now. Stretching in a horrific wave from my ribs to my hip, all across my stomach and almost reaching my other hip. Some bruising was lighter in places, though, creating dark purple patches instead of pure black.

"Wow." Thankfully, Ken controlled his voice, "That's pretty bad." I knew that. Just standing there, I felt so tired. I let my shirt fall back down, avoiding his gaze. I didn't want to look up and see how happy he was to see that. He spoke again, "Come here, sweetheart."

Instinct made me shake my head before I could stop it, but he just chuckled.

"Come on." He insisted, so before he could get mad, I hesitantly crossed the room. I strongly preferred his gentle tone to his angry one. He was being nice for now, but I knew that wouldn't last if I continued to refuse. Once I reached him, he reached up and pulled my shirt back up. Just to my stomach, just high enough to see. I bit my lip against a protest while he got a good look.

"And Jack did this?" He asked, but I wasn't sure how to answer. This was no doubt a test of his. He wanted to know whether or not I'd be willing to rat on him.

"No." I mumbled, "He'd never do that."

"Good." He offered a smile, but it was far from comforting. He looked at my stomach again, sighing and shaking his head, "This isn't good." I didn't bother replying. There wasn't much that could be said.

He brought his hand up and very lightly placed it against my stomach. I wasn't sure what he was doing, but I hated the feeling of his hand against my skin. He wasn't hurting me, but it took all the willpower I had in my body not to cringe away.

He looked up at me, and I looked at him. He knew how uncomfortable I was, yet he kept his hand there. He pulled it back just enough to press the back of his fingers against my stomach. That was a little more tolerable than his palm.

"You're warm." He pointed out, "Have you been running a fever?"

"I dunno." I mumbled in reply, and he sighed.

"That's not a good sign."

No shit. Nothing about this whole situation was good.

I could hear Heather's irritated voice coming closer to the room, so I knew Ken did too. He slowly removed his hand, standing up and letting my shirt fall just before the door flew open. Ken stepped to the side, allowing Heather to see me.

I swallowed in nervousness before looking up. Heather stood there, looking at me in what could be described as shock. Like she'd just seen a ghost.

I must have stared at her in much the same way. I wasn't sure what I was expecting before, but seeing her now was almost enough to distract me from where I currently stood. She had been the one that changed so much since the last time I saw her, during the vision. Jack had too, but this was different. I'd forgotten she used to have much longer hair.

"Leandra," Jack showed up behind her, "This is Heather."

She continued to study me, an unidentifiable expression in her eyes.

"What did you do?" She suddenly asked, rounding to look at Jack. He rolled his eyes and pushed her fully into the room. Stepping in behind her before he closed the door. She hadn't even really seen me yet, and she was already pissed?

If I remembered right, she'd known me as a baby. Before Jack even came along. She never even knew Jack had had me this whole time. She thought my dad had taken me in the divorce with my mom.

"Help her." Jack barked at her, pointing at me.

"With what, Jack?" She asked, "What am I supposed to do for her here? I don't even know what's wrong-"

"She's puking blood." Jack snapped, "That's what's fucking wrong with her."

"People don't just vomit blood, Jack." She argued, "What did you do?"

"He didn't do anything." I spoke up, and she rounded to look at me, "I didn't tell him about it until this morning." She forced the anger in her eyes to ease, crouching slowly to look at me.

"What happened, sweetheart?" She asked me, her tone a lot softer. Looking at her like this, it really made me realize how much I'd missed her, but I had to remember my story. I took a few breaths through emotion, nervousness trembling my voice.

"I was afraid he'd be mad at me for walking in the road again." I whimpered, "So I didn't tell him.. That.. Well, a couple days ago, I got hit by a car." Her eyes immediately grew a lot more concerned. The second I was done speaking, and the words had a chance to register.

"And why is she not at a hospital?" She demanded, looking over her shoulder at Jack.

"I can't afford that shit." Jack replied firmly, "Can you fix her or not?"

"No." She replied, "She needs a hospital. Like.. Now."

"I don't want to go to a hospital." I mumbled, "They're gonna blame me." That was partially true. As stupid as I knew it was, I really didn't want to face anything that would entail.

"No, they won't." She told me, but she sighed, "Let me see." I hesitated, my hand coming down to my shirt before I shook my head.

"I'm fine." I told her.

"Where did it hit you?" She asked instead.

"Um.." I murmured, "Here." I gestured to my side. I didn't exactly know how to answer that, so I was as vague as possible.

"And are you hurt anywhere else?"

"I'm not hurt." I replied, shaking my head again.

"Honey, if you're vomiting blood, I need to know how badly you're hurt." She told me gently, "Please-"

"I'm fine." I attempted to step around her to get to the door, but she stood up to follow me. I held my breath as she tried to grab my arm, flinching back away from her, "It was only a little bit."

That seemed to make her listen, "How much?"

"Barely any." I lied, "I-It was barely pink. I-It was right after.." I hesitated looking up at Jack beside me.

"Go ahead." He said, catching on, "Tell her what you got into."

"It was after I drank a beer." I looked down, and she sighed heavily.

"If it was that little," She said, "Then the lining of your stomach was probably just irritated. I am concerned, though, about you being hit by a car."

"I'm fine." I repeated, "It was more like a bump. I didn't even fall down." I knew by the way she pursed her lips that she didn't believe me, "If anything was wrong, I would have seen it right away, right?"

"Not always." She replied, "Honey, I really think-"

"No."

"Jack." She said, looking to him, "Any input?"

"Hey, if she doesn't want to go, then-"

"Then you make her go." Heather snapped, "You're the parent. You're supposed to be taking care of her."

"I do take care of her." Jack told her firmly.

"This isn't taking care of her." She countered, and I looked over as Ken came to my side.

"Care to take this into the other room?" He asked them, "It's pretty clear you two are making her nervous." Heather hesitated before she sighed and looked to me.

"I'll be right back." She said, and I didn't miss the glance she gave to Ken.

"Close the door behind you." Ken told her. I couldn't really tell the mix of emotion in her eyes as she narrowed them at him.

Jack rolled his eyes, taking her arm and tugging her out the door. I wanted to stick up for her, but I was in my own predicament as Jack shut the door. The sound of it shutting was loud to me, and my heart reacted. Part of my thoughts were stuck in here, but the other parts were stuck outside. Wondering if Alice and Carlisle had found me yet. I wondered if they were outside, listening to every word we said.

In a way, just thinking about that made me feel a little better. Despite knowing I couldn't have them as a fall-back plan.

"I wanted a word with you." Ken spoke up quietly, so I turned hesitantly to look at him, "Jack's told me about you." I knew right where this was going. For the most part, anyway. I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding. Taking in another breath in an attempt to calm myself down.

"I know he did." I mumbled, "And I know about you. I know what kinda person you are."

To my surprise, he smiled. He laughed a bit, seeming surprised but in a good way.

"Well, then." He replied, "Now that I know you know, we can both drop the false pretenses, can't we?"

"I guess." I shrugged a little, not understanding what that meant.

"I won't ask you how you know," He went on, "Because frankly, I don't care. What I do care about is how careless my stupid son was with you. I admire your ability to lie. I really do."

"I had a lot of practice." I muttered.

"And Jack was stupid for relying on that too much." He added with a simple nod, "He's never been known to be content with enough. He always has to have more, and it's come back to bite him in the ass."

"What do you mean?" I asked quietly.

"He never would have called on me for advice if he wasn't feeling in over his head."

I believed that.

"Now as I was saying," He continued, "I'm very impressed with how good you are at lying, but.." He trailed off, sighing as he leaned back against the desk, "Here's the problem I'm facing now. You and I both know that it's a lot worse than you're letting on. You and I both know that you can't be fixed at this point. Not without a hospital, and that's not happening. It's just out of the question."

I stayed quiet.

"See, people know you're alive." He said, "You have a name. When you die, who's going to take the fall? I'm not about to let my son take the fall for your ass. He was stupid, it's true, but you see, I have an opportunity here."

I really didn't like where this was going.

"A real opportunity." He repeated quietly, nodding a little to himself.

"What do you mean?" I asked stupidly, and he smiled again.

"I'm not about to let Jack leave here with you, only for you to die half way back to Washington and leave him with the clean up." He sighed, "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I really am. It's such a shame, because you're so gorgeous, but.. See, I take care of my own. I always have, and I always will. This is the cleanest, easiest way."

This was just like before, but somehow, it seemed even more final.

I shook my head, denying it, "I'm going home with Jack."

"Honey," He sighed again, "I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you'll never see home again. To the rest of the world, you will have run away. Nobody will ever find you. You'll just.. Poof. Gone without a trace."

"You can't do that." I mumbled, unable to help the fearful tone.

"Jack will probably have an issue with it at first, but.." He shook his head, "In time, he'll see. So will you."

I rounded for the door, but he was faster. Grabbing me from behind in a tense sort of hug as he pinned me back against him. I gave a firm but brief struggle, as that only hurt me.

He kneeled behind me, snaking his hand up around my neck and holding me there so he could talk lightly into my ear. I was shaking so hard at that point, I knew he could feel it.

"Let go." I whimpered, resisting as much as I could, but I wasn't budging.

"Now, now." He purred into my ear, his breath warm, "Don't be afraid. I have plenty of experience dealing with girls like you. Don't you worry, honey. We'll have plenty of good times before you go."

 _Go_. Like I'd be willingly leaving on a trip or something, but I knew exactly what he meant.

He lowered his voice to almost a whisper, "I can't wait." I shut my eyes, clenching my teeth as I resisted as hard as I could, but the second he placed a soft kiss on my ear, I started to fight. He chuckled, turning me in his arms as I started to cry. His hand left my neck only to grip my face tightly. Staring into my eyes. Just like Jack had always done, but this was scarier.

"And if you _ever_ breathe a word of this to anyone.." He murmured gently, "Especially my daughter or her husband.."

There was something in his eyes that rooted me to the spot, killing every ounce of fight I had in me. I hadn't seen this before. It was absolutely terrifying.

I shook my head, letting him know he didn't have to finish that.

"Good." He whispered with a smile, "There might be hope for you yet. And you know.. If you're good.. And you behave yourself.. I won't have to hurt you too bad, and you might get to live a little longer. Okay?" With trembling breath, I nodded.

It wasn't until then that I even remembered about Carlisle and Alice. What if this was how everything was supposed to end? What if, by letting this happen, I could save them from spending the rest of their lives on the run? No Aro. No Jack. Nothing.

"Aw, come here.." He pulled me into a hug, much gentler than he'd previously handled me. He sensed my defeat. I knew it immediately.

"I don't see why Jack had to be so rough with you." He told me, cuddling me against him, "You're such a sweet little thing."

I didn't bother saying anything to that. Despite how very deeply uncomfortable I was, I didn't fight. I couldn't. My stomach was hurting me too badly to even think about fighting or running. He knew this. I whimpered, resisting just a bit as he breathed in at my neck.

Thankfully, he let me go after that. Allowing me to step back, and taking my hands in his.

"Remember our agreement." He murmured firmly, "Not a word." I nodded again. Sniffling deeply as he nodded as well, "Run along now."

I turned with another sniffle, opening the door and leaving the room. I found Jack and Heather arguing in the kitchen, so I went straight to Jack's side.

They both fell quiet as I came to stand next to him, both watching me.

Sure, I could have told everyone who would listen what Ken's plan was. I even wanted to. Heather would have helped me, and I knew Mike would have too, but there was something in his voice that paralyzed me. It kept me from being able to say the words.

"Jack." Ken called from the hallway, "A word." I glanced up at him, stepping back as he moved forward. He paused, pointing briefly to Heather.

"We're not done." He told her, and she shook her head as he walked away.

She sighed, looking down at me, but I kept my eyes down. I could see her give a brief glance around herself before she crouched slowly next to me.

"Leandra?" She spoke gently, and I couldn't help looking at her. I'd missed her so much without even realizing it. It was throwing me off, though, to be standing here, talking to a much younger-looking version of her from what I remembered.

Instead of answering her, I reached up and cleared a few tears from my eyes with my fingers.

"I know, okay?" She spoke just as gently, her voice quiet. Again, I looked at her, "I think I have a pretty good idea what's going on here. I see you, sweetheart."

At that last statement, I started to cry. She reached out to me, and I had to take her up on her offer. I turned and walked straight into her arms. I trembled hard with the sobs I managed to hold back, but it was painful. Both emotionally and physically as she hugged me. Despite how gentle she was being, her arm was right across several of the welts on my back at once. I handled it as long as I could, but I eventually had to back up with a small cry of pain.

Of course she seemed puzzled and concerned at first, but I looked down.

That pain reminded me forcefully of the fact that I couldn't have Heather in my life either. I wouldn't bring that kind of stress on her and her family. Accepting her help would only lead me to rely on her, just the same as it would have with Carlisle.

I couldn't do that either.

"Sweetie, please trust me." She said, "I'll believe you. Just tell me what really happened."

I turned away. I couldn't allow myself the slightest bit of comfort if I was going to pull this off. Literally anyone I counted on would face the same problems. Jack. Ken.

Heather had already had her share of pain and fear from both of those men. I really didn't want to responsible for adding more onto that.

"Leandra," She called, and I glanced back, "What happened to your face?" The bruise.

"Baseball." I mumbled before continuing on.

I walked over to the sliding glass door that led to the backyard. I wasn't sure why I stepped outside, but I knew I wasn't going anywhere, so they had no reason to worry. I just wanted a safe spot to hide away and cry. She let me walk away, probably watching my every stiffened move.

This was much harder than I thought it would be, considering I never really thought about the consequences of seeing Heather again. It never even occurred to me that it would mean so much to me.

If she truly knew what happened, then she should have known it wouldn't be that easy to get me to talk. I wasn't that stupid. She just didn't understand how badly I needed to protect her. She didn't understand just how badly I needed to protect myself.

I knew full well what was waiting for me, and I didn't blame her for not knowing, but I couldn't be the one to tell her. It was something she would have to find out some other way.

Along the house in the smaller back yard, I stepped carefully. Peering along the side of the house, to my surprise, I saw I could make it to the front. I was curious, so I walked along the shaded side of the house. Making it to the front yard and street without incident. I'd never thought to explore before, so this was new to me. It was sunny out here, the sun having had more time to rise higher in the sky. Casting the little row of houses in shadow.

I'd never really stopped to look around before, either. Every house on this street was different, but the neatly manicured front lawns or meticulously landscaped yards looked pretty identical. There was a decent space between them, but it still seemed cramped to me.

And there was a whole lot of palm trees.

The way Ken's house was situated, the last house in the row on the right side of the street, it was angled so the back yard was able to back right up to the beach, but still have a decent portion of the front and side of the house in shadow in the morning. A short, maybe three foot tall rock wall separated his front yard from the neighbors to the left.

It would have been a really nice place to live if it wasn't for Ken, and no doubt the price tag that came with it.

Back to the task at hand, I stepped a bit further out into the front yard.

I didn't dare move very far, just a few steps passed the edge of the house. I searched the street from where I was. I was nervous at first, thinking they couldn't find me, but I sighed in relief at finding the familiar black car parked just passed another driveway up the street. I wondered briefly if they could still hear me from way up there, but I also knew they couldn't get too close. Being this close was risky enough.

I hesitantly moved forward, just to get a better look. It was hard with how far away I was, but I knew it was them. I rested my hand on the wall, just looking at them.

I was relieved, until I really thought about it. If a card was temptation enough to send me running away, actually having them there would be ten times harder to resist.

"You shouldn't be here." I spoke quietly to myself, but I really couldn't deny that I appreciated that they were. I wasn't as alone as I thought, even if I couldn't accept their help.

"Leandra." I jumped, rounding sharply at Jack's loud shout from the back yard.

"Coming." I gasped out as I hurried back along the side of the house. The last thing I needed was for him to come looking for me out front, and have him see that same black car.

"Get over here." Jack snapped as soon as he saw me, "What were you doing?"

"I-I.." I whimpered, watching him step outside with me, "I saw a cat, and I-"

"Don't you ever do that again." He told me firmly, and I shut up, "Do you fucking understand me?"

"I'm sorry." I replied quietly, "I-I just-"

"Next time you follow a stupid fucking cat," He said, "I'll kill the fucking thing. You don't go anywhere without anyone telling you where to go. I thought you knew this!" He kept his shout quiet, growling it under his breath through clenched teeth. I'd pissed him off again.

"I-It was just a cat-"

"Get your ass in the house." I scooted around him without a second's hesitation. Walking inside easily with a quiet whimper to myself.

"There you are." Ken's cheerful voice had me stopping in my tracks, and I looked over at him in the kitchen. Just as surprising to see, were Josh and Zack. Much younger than they were when I last saw them. Zack was still my height, Josh just a bit taller.

They looked over at me, probably wondering about the way I stared at them.

"Leandra," Heather spoke up, "This is Zack, and this is Josh." She touched their respective heads, "My boys."

In my surprise, I flinched forward at sensing Jack coming up behind me, glancing back at him. The deep ice blue of his eyes held a hidden warning.

"Hi." I mumbled a second later, looking to them. They smiled in return, Zack clearly a bit more shy than Josh. I'd also missed them quite a bit, and it was really nice to see them, but I couldn't let myself show it.

The less they all knew me, the better. My small smile faded as I looked down.

"It looks like she's tired." Ken chuckled, "Boys, why don't you guys take Leandra and go on into the living room? Watch some TV until breakfast is ready."

Given the way Jack just walked around me, a sinking feeling started in my stomach. I swallowed my nervousness as Josh started forward first with a friendly gesture for to follow him. To stay somewhat sane, I had to believe that Jack didn't take his offer. I had to believe that Jack would never leave me here.

I had to.

I found the closest seat, carefully sitting down with a glance over at the boys. I couldn't help wanting to stare at them. It was so weird, realizing how much someone could change in such a few short years.

It was more weird than knowing how much I could change. It was just different, seeing it happen to someone else. With me, it wasn't as obvious because I lived with me. We were just kids now. Last I saw of Josh, he was almost eighteen. Zack was sixteen.

I shook my head hard, squeezing my eyes shut for a few seconds. I just needed to get my head straight. I needed to get a hold of myself. This was messing with me bad. Actually having those memories in my head, unlike before, was proving to be harder than I thought it would be. It was a good thing at first. Now, it was just.. Hard.

One way or another, I needed to get it together. And fast, before I blew it.

 **A/N: Also a little boring, but once again, I want to throw Ken off a cliff. Every time he shows up, I hate him more and more, but I'm kinda stuck with him at this point. ): Maybe I hate him so much because I know what's coming.  
THANK YOU! To my REVIEWER of last chapter! You're awesome!**  
 **I'm trying to update as fast as possible, because starting next week, life's going to get busy for a few days. Until we get fully moved out of this God forsaken apartment, and into our new house, I won't have much free time on my hands. It shouldn't take much longer than a week to get packed, moved, and unpacked. I'm pretty efficient that way. (;**  
 **But.. For now.. Six should be out tomorrow. (:**  
 **Until Six, my friends!**


	6. Chapter 6

**ImPORTANT NOTE: Brief descriptions of wounds. I dunno if that requires a note, but I'm putting it up anyway.**

 **Chapter Six**

I sat there on the couch with Josh, trying to control my nervous and pained breathing as we sat there in the large living room. Zack found his seat in the nearest chair.

"So." Josh spoke up after a few silent moments, "How old are you?" I had to remind myself that they really had no idea who I was. All the conversations we'd had over the years had never happened.

"Nine." I mumbled tightly in reply.

"Same as Zack." Josh smiled a little, "I'm eleven." I knew that, but I nodded anyway. I felt sick, and not really up to talking much. I hated getting yelled at by Jack.

I really had to think now. Tuning out whatever they said after that. My one hope had been Heather, and if she could somehow help me here. That was the whole reason we tried so hard to get here.

It began to sink in, what Ken was saying before. I was out of options besides going to the hospital, and he'd made it quite clear that I wouldn't make it there. I couldn't tell anyone that he would be refusing to take me there, and I couldn't tell Carlisle that Heather couldn't help me. Despite the fact that I knew he already knew that. That's what he'd been trying to say before when I wouldn't listen.

I knew before we left that this would probably be a one way trip, but now that I knew how it would all end, definitely not what I expected, it bothered me. It made me restless inside while I stared at the TV. Something like panic made it suddenly hard to breathe. I was having a hard time coming to terms with that.

"Leandra?" Zack brought me out of my thoughts.

"I can't." I whimpered to myself, standing up and moving for the closest bathroom. I just needed a minute. Some time to think it over. To find another way out, because I would rather die on my own terms than let Ken take my life.

I stepped into the bathroom and quickly locked the door behind me, turning to face the toilet but throwing up would have to wait. I covered my mouth, stifling my breathing choked in a sob that started many others.

The truth was I really didn't want to die, and I was having a really hard time facing the fact that I had no choice. I was scared, as I had no idea what dying would really be like, but what Ken had told me crawled through my head. To be so cornered scared me most. I had no way to avoid what was coming.

I couldn't ask Heather for help, and I couldn't call on Carlisle for help either. I knew better now than to expect Jack to ever stand up to his dad. Ken was the one person who could boss him around. Apparently, even when it came to me.

I caught sight of myself in the mirror over the small sink next to me. What stood out to me first were my eyes. They were so red from crying, the green in them more clear. My nose was pink as well, slight color in my cheeks, but the rest of my complexion was pale. My eyes held the emotion I felt inside, and reading my own expression only broke my heart more. I couldn't believe anyone would ever believe me when so much was clear just by looking at me. How could no one ever see?

My suffering showed in my pale skin, dark circles under my eyes.

I turned away from the mirror, closing my eyes.

I crumbled even more, fighting to keep my sobbing silent as I crouched and fell on my butt. Doing this hurt more than I could comfortably ignore, but I figured what did it matter? I might as well get used to the pain, and who knew? Maybe if I ignored the pain long enough it would kill me faster. As fearful as I was of dying, I was more afraid of what would come next, because I knew full well that there were lots of things worse than dying.

I remembered very vividly what Ken was like when we were alone together. It was coming, and I couldn't run. Not only just because I was so hurt. I'd put myself here.

I wasn't sure how long I was hiding away in here. Probably at least half an hour before a light knock at the door had me jumping, swallowing back my emotion.

"Leandra." It was Heather, "Honey, are you okay?"

"Please go away." I wasn't trying to be rude, but I was having enough trouble handling what I faced. I was kind of in the middle of an emotional breakdown at the moment. I didn't need her tempting me to accept her kindness, and making it harder for me.

"Sweetie, please let me in." She was still there. I didn't answer this time.

Moments of silence later, a louder thumping knock at the door had me flinching again.

"Open up." It was Jack, "Let me in." I whined in dread, biting back more sobs. I was letting him down. I was doing exactly what I shouldn't. I jumped again at yet another knock, "Leandra."

I forced myself to my feet and reached for the lock. As soon as it was unlocked, Jack pushed open the door and walked in quickly, pushing me further into the room and shutting the door behind him. Relocking it.

"Pull yourself together." He growled quietly at me, but that just made me cry more, "You're pissing me off."

"I don't wanna die." I sobbed as quietly as I could, "I thought I was doing good." He rolled his eyes.

"For the love of fucking god." He groaned, "Grow the fuck up. You're not gonna die. As soon as I leave here, he's taking you in."

"No he's not." I replied, "He lied to you." He hesitated for a moment before sighing hard in irritation.

"Get it together." He told me again, "And hurry the fuck up." He didn't believe me. He rounded, opening the door and leaving the bathroom. Shutting the door firmly behind him.

The fact that Jack didn't believe me wasn't surprising, but it still scared the hell out of me. Jack had been the last hope I didn't know I had before it was gone. He may not have believed me, but I didn't believe him either. I believed Ken more than I believed him, which was probably right where Jack was too. Thinking about it like that, I couldn't blame him for not believing me.

It took me several minutes before I was all cried out. Several more minutes before I could come back out and seem somewhat okay. It took a whole lot of cold water to make my eyes less puffy, but I still looked like total shit.

As soon as I left the bathroom, Josh and Zack were there. To my relief, they weren't here to demand why I was in the bathroom for so long.

"Wanna go outside?" Josh asked me, and I immediately nodded.

"Don't go far, guys." Ken called after us, having overheard. Them for different reasons than me. As soon as we were outside, I turned and walked along the side of the house. Puzzled, they followed me.

I needed to comfort myself with the sight of that black car. I needed to know that I wouldn't be completely alone when I died.

I almost sobbed in relief as I spotted it closer. Sitting under the shade of a tree just two houses up the street. I held it together, thankfully, my heart pounding in temptation. It would be so easy to just run over there and tell them everything, but I knew I couldn't do that.

I couldn't help myself, though.

"Guys.." I whispered, my eyes on the black car, "I'm in trouble." Just admitting that tried to force more tears forward, but thankfully, I had a distraction.

"For what?" Zack asked, having overheard, "For staying in the bathroom for so long? Nah, you're not in trouble. Uncle Jack said you're not feeling good."

Looking back at them, I still couldn't believe how much they had changed by my waking up.

"So, are we like cousins, or what?" Zack asked, bending over and picking up a rock, "I think we're cousins."

"Not by blood." Josh answered him, "Duh."

"Not by blood." I sniffled, agreeing with Josh, "Just because Jack adopted me when I was little."

"It's still cool." He replied, "I thought we only had cousins from dad's side." He tossed the rock to the side, "Let's go back to the backyard. I wanna see the beach."

I glanced back over at the car, knowing they were watching me, but I hesitantly gave in. I knew it was better for them if we went back, just so nobody would notice them should they come looking for us.

I followed them back into the back yard, but I wasn't up for much playing. I just stood there for a few minutes, and I took it easy while I watched them play.

I ventured further away from the house, though. Ken's house was situated several yards from the ocean, quite a distance from the actual water, but I walked that distance. I made it to the water, the boys gravitating with me. They weren't paying much attention to me as I stared at the waves coming and going, barely reaching the toes of my shoes before retreating backwards.

I crouched carefully, letting my hands rest in the retreating water, watching it come back to cover my hands against the sand.

I watched the waves coming and going, and my thoughts started to slip. What if I just started walking forward, into the water? What if I just walked until I couldn't reach the ground anymore, and I started to swim? What if I just swam until I was too tired to swim anymore?

"Wanna go swimming?" Zack brought me out of those dark thoughts, "I think they'll let us, because it's warm enough."

"I can't." I replied, "I can't swim."

"We won't go far." He reasoned.

"Plus I don't have a bathing suit." I added, looking back down at the water. I wouldn't be allowed to wear one anyway.

"You can borrow a pair of my shorts." He said, "And just wear a shirt." That didn't sound half bad, and I considered it for a second. Until I remembered that I had bruises on my lower legs too. That made me sad.

"Thanks," I said, "But I can't." He shrugged.

"It's an idea." He replied, standing up and walking away.

Out here, the breeze played with my hair. It cooled me off, but in a slightly unpleasant way. There were a few people out on the beach today, just walking or letting their babies play in the waves, but not many.

The sand was warm, the water was cold. The wet sand was firm under my hands, yet my fingers left imprints. The sound and feel of the beach was something I never got used to, and it was soothing.

A shrill whistle from behind me told me we were being called in. I ignored it as long as I could. Whoever it was calling us in was grounds enough to hesitate, and I glanced back. It was Ken standing in the back door, but another had me turning around a bit more.

"Come on." Zack called from several feet away, "I'll ask."

"Coming." I mumbled in reply, looking back down at the water. I watched the water for another few seconds before turning around and following him. He glanced back to make sure I was following before speeding up into a jog. I stayed at my normal pace, walking slowly through the uneven sand.

"Good job." Ken smiled at me once I reached him, so I knew I did something good. I nodded, slightly out of breath as I stepped passed him into the house. He patted my head lightly with his hand as I passed him, but otherwise left me alone.

"Leandra," Heather approached, "Are you hungry, sweetheart?"

"No." I mumbled quietly, "Thank you though." Jack gave me a look from his seat at the table, but I ignored it. Giving him a look in return that probably pissed him off, but I walked right by him.

If he didn't want to help me, I didn't have to listen to him anymore.

As I was walking away, heading for the living room, I came up with the stupidest idea. Maybe if I were to provoke him enough, he would change his mind about listening to his dad. If I acted the part good enough, maybe I could get out of having to stay here.

I literally had nothing to lose.

"Leandra." My chance presented itself as Jack stood up, "A word?"

"No." I muttered, sitting down in the closest open chair. I didn't dare look at him as I saw him come to stand beside me.

Zack and Josh both looked over, interested.

"Excuse me?" Jack asked, his tone a forced calm.

"I said, no." I repeated, "Deal with it." I was pushing him too hard too fast, but that was my goal. He couldn't beat me here in front of everybody. I glanced over, noticing the clenching of his hands.

"And I said.." He reached down and took my arm, "I'd like a word." He yanked me out of my chair. Stupidly, I fought him.

"Jack." Heather watched from the kitchen.

"Stay out of this." Jack barked at her, but dragged me forward anyway. Toward the stairs. I clenched my teeth, dragging my feet, and did something I knew I'd regret. I placed my free hand on his arm and dug my nails into his skin as hard as I could. Pulling as I did so. I felt the skin give way under my nails, so I clawed harder. With every ounce of hatred I had for him.

He stopped with a growl of pain, taking my other hand and clenching his fist around my wrist. He stared at me as I stared up at him, and just the look was enough to make me stop struggling.

I was challenging him, which I'd never been brave enough to do before. At least not to this extent. I knew never to hurt him, and I'd just drawn blood.

Josh and Zack had both turned in their seat to watch.

"Come on." Jack hissed at me, dragging me up the stairs. His grip was painful, the pressure only increasing every struggle I gave. I was so sure this was the right thing, and my only hope was pissing him off enough that he decided to drag me home just so he could beat me in peace.

"Jack." He paused and we both looked back at Ken's call from the foot of the stairs, "Let me deal with her. You clean that up." Jack glanced down at his arm before almost shoving me away.

"Fine." Jack growled, and my heart sank, "You sort her out."

"H-Hey wait.." That really wasn't the outcome I was looking for. They passed each other on the stairs, Jack descending them and Ken ascending them toward me just as Heather appeared at the foot of the stairs, looking up at us. I was scared, but determined. I would do the same thing to Ken if I had to.

"I hate you!" I shouted after Jack, but he didn't even look back.

"Heather." Jack called her attention firmly, and I winced at his tone.

Without a word, Ken took my arm, but before I could scratch him, he captured my other hand. I was pretty sore from resisting Jack, so I didn't have much fight left to fight Ken. He hauled me the rest of the way up the stairs easily, up the hall a bit and turned me a bit to push me against a wall.

Before he could even start talking, I spoke first.

"You lied to him." I said, looking up at him, "You lied to Jack. You said-"

"I know what I said." He shut me up, "I told you. I take care of my own, and if that means lying to them, then fuck it, but I swear to God if you blow this-"

"You can't do anything to me." I sniffled, glaring at him, "I'm already gonna die. I don't care anymore."

To my surprise, he chuckled, "There it is."

"It's not funny."

"Oh, but it is." He laughed, crouching in front of me, "I was starting to think Jack was full of shit with how he talked about you. You have no idea how much I love a challenge."

"I don't care." I grumbled, looking away. Reaching up, he placed his hand on the side of my face and forced me to face him again. Rubbing firmly, before sliding his hand back and rubbing the back of my neck.

"You will." He assured me, tugging at my hair, "You know, I did like the idea of making you disappear, but.. Well, now I'm rethinking that." I frowned a little, looking at him in confusion, "I could keep my word to Jack, but only if I get to keep you. I like you." The way he pulled at my hair made me nervous. I wasn't sure why, as he wasn't hurting me. It was a little like the way Jack had done it that night in the truck, but different. I could feel his tension, yet he was somewhat gentle, but it made me deeply uncomfortable.

"If I'm gonna be okay," I said, "He'd never let you keep me."

"I raised that boy." He replied, "You couldn't imagine the amount of work I put into him." I hated thinking about it, so I looked away until he forced my face forward again, "What you're not understanding, is that he'll do what I say when I say to do it. He'll leave you here for the rest of your life if I tell him."

"No he won't." I countered, "Ask him. I bet you."

"It's already done."

"You're nothing but a liar." I glared at him, "I'm not staying here with you."

"Oh," He laughed again, but the sound was thick with seething irritation as his hand balled in my hair, tugging harder, "It's a good thing you're cute. I suggest you be very careful with how you talk to me, Leandra. That pretty little mouth of yours is going to get you into a lot of trouble with me. Jack might let you get away with that smart ass attitude, but I won't."

"Whatever." I muttered, jerking my head away. To my surprise, it worked and his hand fell away, so I went on, "Remember? I don't care. Or are you deaf, and didn't hear me before?"

"Keep it up." He growled this time, standing up.

"You don't scare me." I snapped, looking up at him, "You make me sick."

"You have no idea." He replied almost silently, his eyes hardening the way Jack's always did, but more pronounced. His tone was dark, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't scare me. I wanted to reply, but he went on, "I'm going to make you eat every single one of those words, babydoll."

Right then, our conversation was interrupted.

"Leandra." It was Heather, thankfully, coming to check on me. I shoved Ken back enough for me to get passed him. He continued to stand there, stiffly shaking his head, no doubt trying to control his rage. She reached the top of the stairs just as I started down.

So far I had dodged every punishment I should have gotten, which was saying a lot. It felt a lot like trying to cross a lake of lava with uneven stepping stones. One wrong step, and I'd get burned. It made me nervous to think about what would happen when my luck ran out, but I'd come here, set in accomplishing a goal. No matter how hurt I was, no matter how sick, or scared, or tired I was, I would accomplish it. It was all I had left.

I made it downstairs, stopping once I looked up and saw the look Jack was giving me as he dabbed the still-bleeding scratches in his arm with a wet paper towel. I knew he wouldn't bother to cover them, but he was still pissed. I shuddered, my welts and bruises aching at just the thought of what I knew he wanted to do to me.

"Oh, boy." Mike noticed me too, "Hey, uh.. Let's all go back outside." He could see Jack's expression as well. Gesturing me forward, Mike gave me a small, nervous smile. I walked forward, giving plenty of space between Jack and I as I passed him. His eyes followed me, and I cringed a little.

Both Josh and Zack stood up as well and followed me. I was grateful for the help from Mike right then.

A loud thud from upstairs had me missing a step in the kitchen, jumping as I looked back. Josh accidentally bumped into me in my sudden stop, looking back as well.

"Keep going." Mike urged us on, herding us through the back door. I stepped outside first, followed closely by Josh and Zack last. As soon as Zack was through the door, Mike closed it again.

"What the heck was that all about?" Josh asked, surprised as Mike walked away from the door. He looked to me, and I looked down.

"Long story." I mumbled, stepping off the porch onto the grass, "I don't really know."

"I've never seen Uncle Jack that mad before." Zack admitted, following me.

"Yeah." I sighed, sitting down carefully, "I wanted to get him that mad."

"Why?" Zack asked, sitting next to me.

"Because I don't care anymore." I answered quietly, staring down at my hands gently tugging at the grass, "I'm sick of being nice to him." My fingernails still had quite a bit of blood under them, but I chose to ignore that.

"Why does it sound like there's things you don't wanna say?" Josh asked, coming over to sit with me. I'd almost forgotten how observant he was.

"Because there is." I replied easily, "There's lots of things I don't wanna say."

"I mean," He said, "It just seems weird to me. None of us knew you were coming. You guys show up, and now everyone's mad."

"I'm good at that." I skirted around his point carefully.

"So.." Zack muttered, "What do you wanna do?"

"Sit here." I answered, and Josh looked over at me, "I'm tired."

"That's boring." Zack said as he stood up, and I shrugged a little, "Josh? Wanna go throw rocks at each other?" If I didn't know them so well by now, I would have found that suggestion rather odd, but since I did know him so well, I would have found it odd had he _not_ suggested something like that.

"You sure you don't wanna come?" Josh asked and I shook my head.

"You guys go ahead." I said, and he shrugged. Standing up as well, he followed Zack out toward the sand. The sun beating down on my head oddly felt nice. Without exerting myself, it was warming me in a pleasant way. I hadn't realized how continuously cold I'd been this whole time, but now I did. I never even felt the slightest bit hot earlier while we were out.

It seemed weird to me that I felt cold, considering Ken's observation earlier about my being too warm. I probably felt cold because I was tired, I reasoned with myself. I always felt colder when I was tired.

I closed my eyes, resting them for a minute. It felt nice. Almost like I could just fall asleep sitting right there. Just in case, I leaned forward just enough to rest my head on my hand. The last thing I wanted was to fall over. Braced like this, I could relax without worrying.

I didn't actually fall asleep, but I must have sat there for over thirty minutes before the back door opened again. I looked up lazily, before suddenly growing nervous again. Ken had come looking for us, and though he did give me a glance, he mostly focused on whistling for the boys to come inside.

My stomach protested as I sat upright, a stab of pain stiffening my whole body. I gasped out, gaining Ken's attention as both arms came to hold my stomach with a quiet whimper. A quiet huff of laughter had me look up at Ken's smug smile.

Sitting so still for so long before moving so much so suddenly was apparently something to add to the list of things I really shouldn't do.

The boys walked by me, looking down at me in concern at the obvious pain I was in.

Josh spoke up, "Grandpa-"

"Go inside, guys." He assured them calmly. They did as he said with another glance at me. With a sigh, Ken walked closer. I couldn't even let go of my stomach, much less stand up until the waves of pain passed.

I looked at him, watching as he crouched in front of me.

"Well, well." He chuckled quietly, speaking quietly, "What's wrong?" I bit my lip, looking down, "Where's that smart mouth now?"

I panted in my pain, squeezing my eyes shut against tears. It hadn't hurt this bad yet, and I wasn't even sure what I'd done to make it worse. I was just sitting there!

"What you pulled earlier?" He murmured, "It only made my point. He's not fit to handle this situation, and he knows it now."

"You're wrong." I mumbled, shaking my head, "And you'll see. He won't leave me with _you_."

"Keep telling yourself that, honey." He smiled, "If it makes you feel better." I looked back down bitterly. I wasn't sure what else to say to that. Reaching forward, he took a strand of my hair between his fingers, taking a breath, "And between you and me, I really think you should take all the comfort you can now, because after tomorrow, you'll never see it again." I looked up, steeling my gaze in an attempt to hide the fear I felt, "The last you'll see of Jack.. The last you'll _ever_ see of Heather or Mike.. The last time you'll ever see the sun, or breathe fresh air.."

How calmly he was listing these things off really scared me. He smiled a little, tucking that strand of hair behind my ear.

"I haven't decided yet." He admitted gently, "Just how I'm going to-"

"Honey?" Thank God. I glanced to the door and watched as Heather stepped outside and came over to us. The boys must have told her my condition.

"I'm okay." I whimpered, forcing myself to straighten out. I ignored the way my voice hitched at the end and a sudden stab of pain.

"Let me get a look, sweetie." She murmured, smoothing my hair a bit.

"Please don't." I mumbled, and her eyes grew more concerned, "I'm fine. Really." She still seemed doubtful so I went on, "I'm probably just hungry. My stomach always hurts when I'm hungry."

She sighed, "You should have eaten something earlier, sweetheart."

"I know." I replied, forcing myself to my feet as calmly as possible. Ken stood up with me, his gaze on me, and I swore he could see the way my stomach turned.

"Well," She said with a reluctant sigh, "Lunch is ready. Go on in." I nodded. I couldn't exactly turn it down now after using that excuse, so I would have to choke down some food.

As soon as I walked into the house, though, I knew I didn't have long before I would have to throw up. Again, as calmly as I could, I made my way to the bathroom. I walked in, closed and locked the door, turned on the sink faucet, and immediately threw up as quietly as I could.

It was so hard to stay quiet, especially with the blackish-crimson sight in the water below me, but nobody came knocking.

I took a few minutes after emptying my stomach, just to make sure I was okay. The pain had lessened significantly, to my relief, and I could stand up again without wanting to curl up in a ball. I rinsed my mouth thoroughly, making sure no traces of blood stayed around, and I left the bathroom like nothing had happened.

The boys were already eating, but I hesitated. Really unsure about testing my already turning stomach. Heather was watching me, though, so I had no choice.

I made as plain of a sandwich as I could, mostly nibbling on the bread, but she seemed to accept that. I kept my eyes down most of the time, letting my thoughts wander.

I couldn't help part of me wondering what in the hell I was doing. I might not have anything to really live for anymore, but I was single-handedly trashing everything. I hadn't pissed Jack off enough yet. That much I did know, so I needed to keep trying. I needed his focus on me, instead of what his dad was telling him to do.

Anything I ate felt like lead sitting in my stomach. Heavier than it should feel, but I did manage to take a few relieving sips of water.

"Feel better?" Heather asked me as I placed my plate on the counter. I nodded a little, turning to walk away, but she caught me. I looked up at her, clearly noting her concern before she spoke again.

She sighed, "Sweetie, I know it's hard for you to trust me, but.. I promise you. It's the best thing you can do for yourself right now."

I looked down, "It's not that I don't trust you, because I do. I know you're a good person."

"What is it?" She asked, "I know you're not okay, and I'm very concerned." I knew that too.

"There's just more to it than you know."

"I can help you." She said, "If you'd let me."

"I _can't_ let you." I admitted quietly, glancing over at Jack in the living room. He and Mike were both talking, but from all the way in the living room as well, Ken was watching me. Heather looked over as well, and he smirked. We both looked at each other again.

"I think I know what's going on here." She murmured softly, "But I really hope I'm wrong." I shook my head.

"It's easier if you don't think about it too much. Trust me."

"Honey, where is your mom?"

"I don't know where the place is." I replied, "But someone took her somewhere to help her stop drinking."

"I see." She nodded, "So she's going to be there awhile." I nodded a little.

"Until Jack finds her." I mumbled before I could stop it. She knew what Jack was like, though, so she wasn't particularly surprised. Only sad that I seemed to know what Jack was like. I needed to shut up before I let too much slip.

I hesitated for a moment, before I spoke again, "I just.. Think I need to rest for a little while. Is there any place I can do that?"

She nodded immediately, "Come with me." That, I agreed to. I let her take my hand, and she led me from the kitchen. Ken's eyes followed us the entire way through the living room and up the stairs.

The second bedroom on the right was apparently the one she was staying in. I took the hint, found the bed and crawled up onto it without much hesitation at all.

"Get some rest." She murmured, "I'll keep watch."

"Thank you." I mumbled, looking up at her. She gave me a small smile, and I closed my eyes as she left the room. It felt so nice to just rest for a few minutes. I felt like this whole day had just beaten the hell out of me, and I wasn't even done.

When the bed dipped, I expected it. I opened my eyes for a moment to look up at Alice as she sat beside me. It was pretty shaded on this side of the house, so I knew she'd feel comfortable with making a quick trip in here.

What did surprise me, however, was spotting Esme standing just beside the bed, and Carlisle back by the window. I hadn't been expecting Esme to show up too, and though I was glad to see her, I couldn't help feeling a little suspicious.

I gave a questioning look to Alice, who smiled sadly.

"She's heard a lot about you." She admitted. That made sense, and I knew what she meant by that. I took a deep, shaky breath, and sat up slowly.

"Hi." I greeted Esme quietly, almost shamefully. If she'd heard a lot about me, she knew how hard of a time I was giving Carlisle and Alice.

"Honey," She sighed. Her tone immediately told me I was right in that assumption, and I watched her sit down on the edge of the bed as well, "Please. Let us help you."

"I can't." I instantly said, shaking my head. Her being here was just a firm reminder of why I couldn't. It was hard to see her now and not remember exactly what happened before.

"You know what I'm going to say." Alice murmured next.

"I know."

"Why did you say you were in trouble?" Esme asked quietly, and I sighed. She'd been here that long. That would be pretty hard to explain.

"I hope I can fix it." I replied instead, "I'm trying to fix it before it gets that bad. I was just scared earlier."

"If your idea of 'fixing' things is making them both angry," Alice said, "It's working."

"I know Jack." I countered, "If I make him mad enough, he'll change his mind about leaving me here. Jack does whatever he wants, unless his dad tells him to do something, but if I make him mad enough, he'll ignore his dad and do whatever he wants."

"Hold on," She murmured, "You said he's actually thinking about leaving you here?" That was a huge change from what I'd been saying this whole time. I was a little hesitant to talk about everything with Esme sitting right there, but I figured she needed to hear all of this too if she would understand. I was hoping, however stupid it was to hope, that Esme would be on my side like Alice used to be.

"Just because his dad told him to." I answered, "You guys must not have been here for that part. Ken thinks.. That I can't be fixed without a hospital, and that makes him nervous. It makes him think that I'll die, and Jack will have to clean up the mess, or that if Jack makes me go to the hospital himself, they'll turn on him."

"They will." She replied, "So that concern is accurate." I ignored that.

"So Ken is telling Jack to leave me here." I said, "So that Ken can take care of me himself. To keep Jack out of trouble."

"I see."

"Yeah." I sighed, "But I hate Ken so much. More than I hate Jack. I would rather get beat by Jack every day until I died than stay here with Ken."

"And Heather?" She asked.

I shook my head, "I had to lie to her. Before she even knew what was wrong, she said she couldn't do anything to help me. That only a hospital could. If I would have told her the truth, she would have made me go the hospital herself."

"It makes sense." She agreed, "She's a nurse, and knows what she's talking about."

"I know." I replied, "I don't blame her. She's been doing what she can for me here, but I know I need to lay off on making Ken mad."

"I agree." She said, "Jack too."

"But he's not mad enough." I reasoned, and she gave me a look so I sighed. I hesitated for a moment before I spoke again, "I'm scared. I don't know what tonight's gonna be like, because they weren't this mad before."

She sighed, "I can help you."

"I know." I replied, "It's not that I don't have help. I know that I do, but I'm not done doing what I came here to do. I'm not done." I looked down at my hands nervously bunching in the blanket.

"I understand that now." She said sadly, "But.. Can we at least get a look?" I looked over at her at that question as Carlisle came closer. He'd been silent this whole time which made me hesitant.

"No." I mumbled, "You'll make me leave."

"We just want to know what we're working with." She assured me, and I hesitated. She hadn't said that before. Carlisle's expression told me he was even more against this than he was before. Borderline angry, which was odd enough for him. It bothered him so much, and I knew it would. I'd tried to warn them both that this wasn't going to be easy, but they chose to ignore that.

I looked back over at Alice. Giving Esme a glance too.

"Promise?" I requested quietly, and Alice nodded with a sigh. Esme didn't like it, but she nodded as well. So I readjusted, carefully straightening out and laying back down as Carlisle stepped closer. I raised my shirt over my stomach, avoiding looking at him as his deep concern only got worse.

"God, Leandra." Alice winced hard, shaking her head.

I looked down at myself instead. The bruising hadn't really gotten worse since I'd last looked at it, so that was a good thing, but it was worse than they'd seen so far.

"This part don't hurt that much." I mumbled quietly. I was trying to calm them down, but it was still bad. Two of the welts across my stomach were still open a little bit, glistening dark pink with a light color of blood against the blackish bruising underneath and all around them. It looked like the bruising was about done spreading, so it was mainly centered along my midsection. Maybe a bit around my side, toward my back on one side. My right side.

"Honey.." Esme's voice was tight as she shook her head, "No."

My stomach was a little bit bloated, and I felt uncomfortable. Like I'd eaten too much, despite the fact that I hadn't eaten hardly anything for the passed few days.

"How much blood have you lost, Leandra?" Carlisle asked me quietly, and I shrugged a bit.

"Not that much." I lied, and he shook his head.

"And Heather has yet to see this?"

"She would make me leave." I replied, "But I'm not done."

"This needs to stop." Esme told me, but before I could argue, Carlisle spoke.

"I cannot let this continue," He said, "No matter the risks you seem to believe there are."

"You have to." I argued, lowering my shirt and sitting up carefully, "You promised."

"I never promised." He pointed out, "Because I doubted my ability to keep a promise like that. Let's go." I shook my head firmly.

"I'm not leaving." I told him, "I tried to tell you if you couldn't handle it, then to just go home. You can't take me without kidnapping me." He obviously didn't like that thought. Shaking his head again, his expression hardening a bit in more frustration. I spoke again, "I'm used to this. It's not as bad as it looks."

"Leandra," Alice sighed, "He's right. It's really bad."

"It's not that bad." I argued again, "I-"

"You're either lying to yourself," Carlisle murmured, "Or under the false impression that we're blind. Either way, you need medical attention." I sighed hard, getting frustrated as well.

"I'm not changing my mind." I countered, "So you might as well just go."

"What will it take to change your mind?" He asked, "I don't think you fully understand."

"I get it more than you think I do, Carlisle." I replied, "Trust me. I don't think you fully get it if you have to keep asking me why I'm doing what I'm doing, or what you can do to change my mind. You can't change my mind. The more you keep trying to change my mind, the more I'm gonna do this."

"Now isn't the time to be stubborn, Leandra." Esme murmured gently.

"I'm not being stubborn." I shook my head a little, "You just don't know the things I know. None of you do."

Carlisle shook his head as well, "That may be, but-"

"Just stop." I whimpered, "I _can't_. It's not that I don't want to. I want to. I just _can't_. You don't believe me, but that's not your fault. You just don't know what it's like coming back here over and over. And I know what happens, and I know that I can't go through all of that again. This is my _last_ chance to get it right."

"What do you mean?" Esme asked me, and I took a breath.

"The first time I woke up," I said, "Aro was coming back for me after he tried to kill me. The second time I woke up, Jack had me and was trying to kill me. Both times, everyone was trying to protect me. Both times, I had to worry about everyone else as much as I had to worry about me, and I had to feel like crap because I got you guys into that. You don't deserve that much trouble in your lives. You're too good of people for that. No matter what way I go or what I try to change, it ends up the same way. This is the _only_ way."

It was silent for a moment after that, so I went on.

"You don't know what it's like," I mumbled, staring at my hands, "Knowing that everything you do makes the people you care about more than anything in the world have to worry, and that just by being alive, they get in trouble. _Real_ trouble. Not just a little bit of trouble. I can't keep doing that to you.

"I have a chance now that I didn't have before now that I can remember everything in time to keep things from going wrong. I promised myself before I woke up that if I ever had the chance to change things, I would take it. I'm taking it, but.." I trailed off to catch my breath.

I did my best to ignore the stabbing pain in my stomach, keeping my eyes down so they couldn't see the pain in them. It took me a moment before I could speak again, because I knew my voice would waiver. It'd been doing it all day.

I flinched a little as my hand was covered, and I only then realized how tightly I'd been holding onto the blanket. I looked up at Esme, her hand covering mine.

"What you're doing.." She spoke softly, "Sweetheart, it's very admirable, but it's very dangerous."

"I know." I whimpered in reply, "But I have to fix it."

"What do you have to fix?" She asked sadly, "Honey, you've done nothing wrong."

"Not yet." I replied quietly, "But if I let you save me, I'll have done a really bad thing. You don't know how bad I want to be saved, but I want to fix everything even more. I never should have let Alice bring me back to your house that night. It was bad enough going at all when he told me not to, but I never should've let her take me back."

Alice, seated beside Esme, looked down. I hesitated before I went on, hoping to make them understand just a little bit more.

"I don't think it would be so hard for me if I didn't remember everything." I mumbled, my eyes on my hand in Esme's, "I been having a hard time with it all day, remembering things. All the things that happened last time. Everything I got when I just let you guys help me. Things I know I would have again if I gave in again this time, but then there's the other side of it. Then I think about what Jack does, and the things he tells me and how right he was to say those things. If I give in now, it would be the most selfish thing I could ever, _ever_ do and I don't want to hurt the ones I care about like that. Not again. Just _remembering_ everything I caused hurts me so much."

"You are the least selfish person I've ever met." Alice told me quietly.

"You say that now." I said, "You always say that, but I can't go home yet. Not when I know it would just drag Jack there too. Everyone who ever knows me, knows Jack too in some way, and that's not even it. The more I think about everyone in my old life.. All you guys, my mom and dad, Heather, the boys, Mikah and his family and Cole, Andrew.. The more I wanna protect them, and the only way I can do that is to just hold on. I know I can hold on just a little longer. You and them are all reasons for me to be doing this."

"Hold on." Alice frowned, "Your parents?"

I nodded, nervousness blooming in my stomach at just the thought, "My dad has another daughter. Her name's Lily, and she's.. Five, right now I think. Next year, his wife, Rachel, has another daughter. Jack finds out pretty easy about them, and he tries to use Lily against me."

"And your mother?" Carlisle asked.

"Are you kidding?" I asked, "She got away from him, so he's gotta track her down. Just like he tracked Heather down after _she_ got away. I can't believe I never told you all of this. When I got away last time, he drags her around with him, which makes it hard for Alice to see what him and Ken are doing. That's how she has my little brother, Hunter."

I could see that I'd just given them a lot to think about. While they gathered their thoughts, I focused on Esme's hand holding mine again. It felt nice just to have my hand held. It comforted me.

I paused before I looked over at Carlisle, "Do you think I'll ever get to see my mom again? Jack killed her last time, so I have a chance this time to tell her that whatever happened wasn't her fault."

I wasn't looking for promises. I was looking for hope. I wasn't looking for someone to tell me how bad of shape I was in. I was looking for someone to have some confidence in me.

"You will," Carlisle replied, "If you allow us to get you out of here."

I shook my head, looking back down. Had he not heard a word I said?

"Leandra," He sighed, "What I'm saying, is I don't know yet how much longer you'll be able to hold on. Even I can't tell the extent of your injuries, but from what I have seen, it's.. Bad."

"I know it's bad." I mumbled, "I'm not dumb, but I know I can do this. I can hold on as long as I have to. I came too far to just give up now. I've hung on this long. I'm strong enough. I know I am."

"As wonderful as it is to be so confident in yourself, I need you to be realistic." Carlisle said, "Frankly, I don't know how you've held on this long."

"Then I know I can hold on a little longer." I argued.

"What exactly are you waiting for?" Alice asked pointedly.

"If I run away now," I said slowly, "He's gonna know it's you that helped me get away. He'll know right where to look for me, because of that call you made looking for me that night. I have to be sure he's not gonna look for you first thing when I run away, or it'll start all over again."

"And how will you be sure when it's okay to get away?" She asked.

"I don't know." I admitted, "But it's not now. Jack isn't stupid, but I _gotta_ be smarter than him. I _gotta_ be careful about what I do and when I do it. Whatever's wrong with me.. I-It's a whole different thing. It has nothing to do with what I'm doing now."

"That's where your thinking is wrong." Alice said.

"She's right." Carlisle added, "Leandra, you need to take your health into consideration." I looked down. I knew he was right, but it wasn't that easy.

"But.." I mumbled, "All those people. You guys. Jack.." I took a breath, "He punishes people for knowing me or caring about me. If anyone tries to stand in his way, or protect me from him, he gets right around them and hurts them while he does it. I knew this before, but.. I-I thought it would be okay. I just thought.." I trailed off, struggling not to cry.

"The solution is simple." Alice spoke up again, and Esme looked over at her.

"No it's not." I insisted, "You can't-"

"Leandra, someone that sick doesn't need to be alive."

"You kill him," I said, looking over at her too, "Where's it stop? Might as well go on, and kill everyone else like him. Might as well go out and hunt down all the humans that do the same thing."

"She's right." Carlisle repeated, but as I looked to him, he was talking to Alice, "There are other ways."

"I told you." I mumbled, "He won't stay in jail, if he even goes at all. _God_ don't make me remember that.." I shook my head, looking down.

"It's different this time."

"No it's not." I replied, looking over at Alice again, "He came _this_ close to killing me last time, _and_ he got out after only a couple months. If Carlisle hadn't stopped the bleeding, I would've died that day. I actually _did_. Twice." That shut her up for the moment.

"And you're still convinced that Ken is worse?" Carlisle asked carefully, and I immediately nodded.

"He has more money," I said, "And knows more important people. He doesn't hit like Jack does. He hurts in.. Different ways. Ways that don't leave marks anyone can see. He's _really_ good at what he does. He scares me. A lot. Without even hitting me." I shuddered through a breath, "I don't know how Heather lived for so long with him. He's.. He's the reason I ran away last time. It wasn't because Jack tried to leave me here like I said. I could have lived here if I had to, but.. It was something he did that made me run away." I shook my head, sniffling quietly. I couldn't continue on with that confession.

Turning around, Carlisle slowly paced in thought. Reluctantly, I released Esme's hand. I needed to lay down. Sitting up like this was really starting to hurt. I carefully laid back, wincing hard as I landed just a bit too far on my back.

"You can leave if you have to." I mumbled, watching Carlisle, "I know how much this is probably bugging you, and I know that it's hard for you to get why I'm doing this instead of begging you to take me away, but this.. Is something I have to do. Even if it's the last thing I ever do, I won't let him hurt you." I let my eyes close, "I won't let him hurt anyone for knowing me. You're more a dad to me than my dad ever has been."

"We're not leaving you, Leandra." Carlisle finally sighed, and I smiled a little. I knew there was more he wanted to say to that, but he didn't.

It fell quiet in the room again, and while I laid there with my eyes closed, I couldn't help thinking about the vision. All the memories I had of what wasn't supposed to happen. As much as I knew I needed to keep all of that from happening, it was nice to visit those memories again. It really gave me a sense of purpose, and I felt just a little less worthless.

Even if I didn't let myself fall asleep, it was still nice. I trusted Heather to keep an eye out for me downstairs, just to make sure nobody went up the stairs without the best of intentions, while Carlisle, Esme and Alice all kept watch on me in here. For hours. Just a few short hours of reprieve, but it was more than I could have hoped for.

I knew Heather was on her way up as Alice eventually sighed.

"We'll be around, Leandra." They needed to go, and I understood. Without opening my eyes, I nodded. I was very tired, and I had a feeling it was because of how much blood I'd already lost.

I wasn't done, though.

 **A/N: Blah. When will I stop making conversations last half the chapter? Who knows.  
Anyhoo.. I'm sorry this is a little late. Little KNeu has been a little snot all day, and I'm pretty sure he's getting two more teeth. I finally got time to work on this while he naps, so.. Yay naptime!**  
 **THANK YOU! To my REVIEWER! You're awesome! I'm hoping you know that I eagerly look forward to reading your thoughts lol**  
 **Once again, chapter seven should be out tomorrow. (: It just needs a final go-over.**  
 **Until Seven, my friends!**


	7. Chapter 7

**ImPORTANT NOTE: This chapter does warrant a note. I just want to give you guys a heads up about some not so great mentions later on. Proceed with caution.**

 **Chapter Seven**

I heard no sound, no movement, but I knew better than to think that that meant they were sticking around. It had been close this time. Too close. I wasn't sure how much longer they would be able to resist taking me away, and that put an incredible amount of pressure on me.

They'd even brought Esme in on it too, probably in hopes I would listen to her. That just showed that they were hard at work, trying to come up with a solution for me. I shook my head.

About a minute later, Heather came in to get me for dinner. The thought of dinner made me nervous, though. Not only did I doubt my ability to eat anything else, but it meant the day was coming to a close. If the day had been this complicated, how would the night turn out?

I whined as I got up, attempting to stretch.

"What is it, sweetie?" She asked.

"I don't wanna go back down there." I admitted tiredly, looking down. Her expression saddened and she sighed.

"I can't say I blame you much." She replied, gently smoothing my hair in the back as I came to her side. I went to continue on, but she caught my shoulder gently, so I turned to look up at her. She hesitated a moment before closing the door quietly. She obviously had something to say, "Honey, listen to me."

I was listening, so I waited.

"I just want you to know that if Jack leaves you here," She went on, "You'll be coming home with us." I blinked in surprise, "I don't care what he thinks you've done. Leaving you here would be.. A very cruel punishment, and he knows that."

"H-How did you know-"

"Mike has been talking to Jack all afternoon, honey." She answered, "Jack might be smart, but sometimes, he lets a few things slip when he lets his guard down."

That made sense.

"I wish I could take you home anyway," She murmured sadly, "If I had known that my brother had a hold of you this whole time, I never would have left you there." I knew that.

"I wish you could too." I couldn't help letting that slip too.

"All you need to do for that to happen, is just be honest with me." She crouched carefully in front of me.

"I can't." I said, "I wish I could, but I can't."

"Why not?" She asked, and I stayed quiet, biting my lip, "Has he threatened you?" She clearly already knew that answer, so I looked down, "If he's threatened you, honey, that's all you need to tell me."

"He's just mad." I said instead, needing to vent a little bit to someone who would understand, "He's mad because I was talking to somebody I shouldn't have been."

"I see." She murmured calmly, "That explains it. Who were you talking to?" I felt like I could be honest with her, knowing her so well.

"Alice." I answered quietly, "Cullen." She immediately recognized that last name, interested.

"Dr. Cullen's daughter?" She asked, and I nodded.

"I've never really had any friends, so I wanted one."

"Has Dr. Cullen met you?" She asked carefully, and I nodded again, "Recently?"

"Yeah." I replied softly, "The day before we came here. Jack got mad at me because I went over to their house when he said for me to stay home."

"I see." She nodded again, "Jack's trying to keep you away from them?" I nodded again, more hesitantly this time.

"Just please don't tell Jack I told you about it." I mumbled quietly, "He's already pretty mad."

"I won't." She assured me, gently smoothing my hair again, "Don't worry, I promise." I took a breath and looked down. I couldn't help being worried, though. I never meant to let that much slip, but because I trusted her so much from the vision, I couldn't help being so open with her now.

Heather had been such a huge part of my life before. She'd been the one human I looked up to most. My role model, and one of the best friends I'd ever had. She helped me get through the absolute hardest moments of my life. All of that didn't just disappear this time when I woke up. I remembered it all, every kind word and comforting moment.

She was about to speak again, but I looked over sharply, jumping a step to the side as the door came open forcefully. Looking up at Jack standing there, his hand lingering on the door knob. The look in his eyes told me he was very suspicious of us talking. All he had to do was look at me, and I was turning away from Heather. Walking swiftly passed him from the room and heading for the stairs.

I'd been doing okay until he showed up. The extra shock of fear he caused turned my stomach again. Maybe the way my heart pounded more had a lot to do with it, but I almost couldn't hold back the nausea this time.

"Hey there, sleepyhead." Ken greeted me once I finished descending the stairs. He was too calm now, and I was suspicious, but I didn't have it in me to care right then. I made my way straight to the bathroom, and the throwing up process started all over again as soon as I locked the door behind me.

I seemed to have plateaued. The bruising wasn't any worse, and neither was the amount of blood I threw up. The pain wasn't any worse, but it wasn't any better either. I was pretty sure, though, I could hang on a few more days if nothing else happened.

I hadn't even realized I was falling asleep until the knock at the door behind me made me jump.

"Yeah." My voice trembled slightly, "I'll be out in a minute." I didn't care who it was. I was grateful for their knock as it woke me up. I stood up shakily, and finished up in the bathroom. Making sure to rinse out my mouth thoroughly before I walked out.

"Wow." Zack was the first one to comment once I appeared in the kitchen, "Leandra, you look like crap." I looked up, spotting just how many people were actually looking at me. Both Heather and Mike had stopped what they were doing to look at me. Josh had turned in his chair at the small kitchen table, while Zack was half-kneeled in another chair. Ken's slight smile and firm gaze was what made me more uncomfortable.

I hadn't even thought to look at myself in the mirror, so I couldn't confirm or deny Zack's comment.

"I'm fine." I mumbled, mostly to myself as I found my own seat, "Just tired."

"You don't look tired." Zack replied, "You look dead."

"That's enough of that." Heather told him, "Leave her alone." I was grateful for that, but I knew I'd probably have to answer to her later. As soon as I came into the room, though, Jack stood up and walked out the back door. I watched after him, finding the seat next to Zack.

He hadn't said one word to me since I scratched him. I couldn't help wondering if, by doing that, I'd done the opposite of what I wanted to do. I remembered him being distant before, but this was different somehow. This time, he was avoiding me altogether.

He didn't come back in, but I had something else to focus on right then. With a small, sad smile, Heather placed a plate in front of me. Obviously she knew I wasn't feeling that well, as the portions on the plate were small. I appreciated that, because it made eating seem less overwhelming.

"I'll be right back," She told me, "Okay? Just let me know if you need anything." I nodded a little, watching as she turned and left the kitchen. It was nice to have someone on my side, even if she didn't fully understand.

I managed to eat a bit of what Heather placed in front of me. Mostly the salad, though. That seemed to sit better in my stomach than I knew the spaghetti would. Double bonus, the salad wouldn't hurt nearly as bad coming back up later as the spaghetti would.

After about ten minutes, Heather returned. Nothing seemed off, so I didn't wonder too much about where she'd gone. I was just glad she was back.

Just like I always remembered of them, both Josh and Zack were done eating and running off in record time. I was still nibbling on lettuce, but I had entertainment to distract me, which oddly helped. Josh and Zack had both found the couch pillows in the living room, and were flinging them at each other like weapons.

About the third pillow that hit the window blinds, I thought to warn them, but Heather spoke up first.

"Guys," She called from her seat, "Try not to break anything, would you?"

"We won't." They both answered at the same time.

"Yeah they will." I muttered, and Mike, seated next to her, chuckled. I wished for a second I could join them, because I remembered how fun pillow wars were, but I knew I couldn't.

Mike was the next one done eating, sitting back in his seat.

"Is Jack coming back in?" He asked, looking to Ken, "He hasn't eaten, has he?"

"I couldn't say." Ken replied with a sigh, "He's been in such a mood since Leandra attacked him." I looked down. I'd already felt a little guilty about that, but Ken mentioning it just made it worse.

"Let him starve." Heather commented with a small shrug, standing up, "If he wants to act like a toddler, I'm not babying him." She had a point. I stood up as well, grabbing my plate and following her further into the kitchen toward the sink.

"How do you do that?" I asked quietly, and she glanced down at me.

"Do what, sweetie?" She asked in return.

"How do you not care how he acts?" I clarified, and she smiled sadly, "I've tried."

"It comes with practice." She answered honestly, gently taking my plate from me, "Does he do this a lot?"

"Not really." I replied, glancing toward the back door, "I guess it's because I don't really act like that. At least I try not to."

"Why today?" She asked,

"Long story." I eventually admitted, "I just hate him so much sometimes."

"He makes it easy to hate him." She allowed, and I looked down. She sighed, "Honey, whatever he's done, you need to tell me." We were far enough away from the others, and our voices were so quiet, I wasn't really that worried about Ken overhearing, but I was still nervous.

I stayed silent so she spoke softer, "You weren't really hit by a car, were you?" I hesitated a moment longer before I shook my head, "And it's worse than you're telling me." I nodded, "And you're afraid to tell me, because I can help you." I swallowed nervously. It was at least good to know how much she'd observed already. It let me know where I stood.

I debated for a second before I glanced back at the sound of Ken standing up.

"I wish you wouldn't ask me that." I mumbled to her, keeping my eyes down.

"Look at you two." I tensed at Ken's voice coming from right behind me. He chuckled, "Having a nice little chat?"

The second I felt his hand start to place itself on my shoulder, I ducked away. Heather looked down at me as I came to her other side, giving me a look that told me she sadly understood.

Heather replied to him stiffly, "We were, until you rudely interrupted."

"It's what I do." He sounded almost proud of that, "Why don't you go play, sweetheart?" It wasn't an option. I gave a tense nod and turned away.

"We'll talk later." Heather offered as I walked away. Instead of leaving the kitchen, though, I paused. I debated for a moment before I changed directions and headed out the back door. I closed the door behind me, finding Jack sitting there.

I wasn't even sure at first if he wanted to talk, but he spoke up before I could.

"What the fuck was that?" He demanded of me, and I paused in walking closer. I decided to just be honest with him.

"I don't want you to leave me." I admitted quietly, "So I thought if I made you mad at me, you wouldn't." It seemed to surprise him that I was honest.

"That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard." He replied flatly, "What the fuck is your problem?"

"You know what he's like." I answered, "He only wants you to leave me here so you won't have to deal with me when I die. He said so himself."

"Well, I guess I don't have to ask where you got that stupid idea from." He sighed, "He's just trying to scare you."

"No," I shook my head, "He meant what he said. If you don't take me to the hospital, then I won't be going at all." I felt like I had to warn him, "That's why he wants to keep me." He shook his head.

"I think I know him better than you fucking do." He snapped lightly. He still didn't believe me.

"I don't want to die." I couldn't keep the break in my voice back, knowing it wouldn't help my case any.

"Shut the fuck up." He snapped harsher this time, standing up, "You're fine." I shook my head again, letting him know without speaking that I wasn't okay. He ignored that, "You're always finding something to bitch about. God I'm so sick of you."

"Why can't you just care about me?"

"Maybe I would if you weren't so goddamn pathetic." He countered, "Why the fuck would I care about something like you? I care about the dogshit in the parking lot across town more than I care about you, you stupid little bitch. Get the fuck out of my face with that shit before I snap your fucking neck."

I took deep breaths, trying to figure out how to reply.

"I-I thought-"

"There's your first mistake." He told me harshly, "Thinking isn't your strongest suit. You're fucking stupid. You don't fucking think. You don't listen, and you don't do what you're fucking told. You're fucking useless. You're a waste of space, and a worthless little sack of shit that _no_ body gives a fucking shit about. Never will." I kept my eyes down, unable to look up at him now, "You want someone to _care_ about you? That's never gonna fucking happen. The only reason I kept you around as long as I did was for my own entertainment. You were just something for me to use up, and throw away. _That's_ all you're fucking good for. That's all you'll ever be good for."

No matter how many times he said things like that me, it never stopped hurting. I wasn't even sure why I cared so much. I knew it did no good to take what he said to heart, but sometimes, I really couldn't help it. I didn't cry, but it bothered me.

"Can I ask something?" I mumbled, receiving only a silent glare, "If you really think of me like that.. Then.." I paused for a second, " _Why_ am I here?!"

The second my shout was free, he stood up. He stood up, and I stepped back.

"You're here because I don't want to deal with you anymore." He told me, "Your worthless mom didn't want you either, so it's not just me."

"That's a lie." I glared up at him, "She's not here because she got tired of being drunk all the time. Because you made her that way." His eyes narrowed a bit, "When I was little. You made her that way so she would be out of the way, and it's _your_ fault my dad left. It wasn't because he didn't want me like you said. You were just jealous that I liked him better than I _ever_ liked you."

Of course, all I was saying was based on what my mom and dad had explained to me on different occasions.

"I'm glad she got away." I went on, "I hope she stays away, and I hope she tells everyone what kind of person you are. I hope she gets you in so much trouble for what you did to her and me, and I hope you die in jail."

He took a quick step toward me, and I stumbled back. Catching myself on a porch post, I glared up at him.

"Get out of my sight." He growled, pointing sharply at the house.

"Why?" I asked, "Because you know I'm right?"

"Because I'm about two seconds from fucking strangling you. I'm giving you fair fucking warning that you're about to die right now." He was being honest. I saw it in his eyes. I hesitated, so he stepped closer again and I scurried back again. He kept coming, though, so I scooted inside, "Get, you stupid bitch."

He slammed the door behind me, and I glanced back as he turned sharply from the door, cursing loudly to himself. I knew I'd pissed him off good this time, as he started at a fast walk toward the beach. He was going to walk it off, apparently.

I had to take a moment before I could move any further, leaning on the kitchen table for strength as moving as quickly as I did had knocked the breath out of me. Emotion tried to take me over, but holding my breath, I managed to fight it back.

"Leandra." I jumped at Heather's quiet voice from the other side of the kitchen. I hadn't noticed her standing there, the kitchen window wide open. I forced myself to stand upright, rounding to look at her.

My nervousness exploded at knowing she had heard everything I'd just said. That was as good as any confession I could have given her myself, and for a terrifying moment, I wondered exactly what she was going to do with that information. She could do anything. I tried to remember exactly what all was said, but my scared mind wouldn't move.

"Easy." She murmured, obviously concerned. I only then realized how tense I must have seemed to her. She walked closer, "Sit, sweetie." I took her advice, sitting in the nearest chair and watching her fill a glass with water.

I jumped as I heard Ken's laugh from the next room, but that only told me he was distracted for now. That was a big plus at least.

Heather walked over to me, handing me the glass of water, which I accepted gratefully as she sat down in the seat next to mine. She was silent for a minute, just watching me try to calm down.

"I'm okay." I mumbled, sipping a bit of water.

"Does he always talk to you like that?" She asked, but I knew she already knew that answer, so I didn't bother answering. She leaned closer, "Honey, he's wrong."

"I know." I replied quietly.

"For what it's worth," She said gently, and I glanced up, "I think you're really brave, confronting him like that."

"Nothing I do is helping." I admitted, staring at my glass of water on the table, "No matter what I do, it's not changing his mind."

"I meant what I said, honey." She said, "If he tries to leave you here, I'll take you in a heartbeat."

"I don't know if it would work like that." I replied, "I can't go with you. I want to, but I can't."

"Why not?" She asked quietly, "Don't listen the the lies they've told you."

"It's not that." I shook my head, "It's a really long story."

"Please don't be angry with me, but I spoke to Dr. Cullen. Just a moment ago." I looked up, so she continued, "Honey, he's very concerned about you." I half wondered if she was supposed to be telling me this.

"I know he is." I sighed, "But he shouldn't be. Neither should you. Nobody should be. I'm fine." It was a halfhearted attempt to lie, as she could clearly see that I wasn't okay. I was mainly trying to lie to myself. I needed to believe it if I was going to pull this off.

"Apparently, he's seen some bruising?" I sighed at the reminder.

"Yeah," I muttered, pointing to my face briefly, "So have you."

"That's not what I meant." She replied, "And I know that's not what he meant. He wants your trust so badly, but you're simply refusing to come forward."

"Please stop asking me about it." I mumbled, "Why can't everyone just stop asking about it?"

"Because I know exactly what Jack is capable of." She answered gently, "Knowing what he's capable of, and seeing you in comparison scares me. Honey, it terrifies me."

I sighed, standing up, "I'm tired." I turned to leave, but she caught my hand. I hesitated, looking at her for a silent moment, waiting for her to say what she had to say.

"I know." She murmured, "I know you're scared, but all I'm asking for is just a little bit of trust."

"If you know him so well," I mumbled, knowing I should just shut up, "Then you know I won't say anything, even if there was anything to say." I could see that she knew I was right.

She really didn't look like she wanted to let it go, but thankfully, she listened to me. The sadness in her expression made me turn and walk away.

I chose to spend the rest of the evening in the living room, though. It seemed to be the safest place. Josh had given up in the pillow war, and sat watching TV, so I sat with him and watched too. Both of us ignoring the commotion off to the side as Zack and Mike continued on.

I had a lot on my mind, though. Jack was useless to rely on, and that had really been the only hope I was allowed to have. He was choosing to stay under that blanket of denial, and his stupid pride and need to be right all the time were going to get me killed.

While I sat there, though, I tried again to just accept my fate, and I did a lot of thinking. Heather was obviously onto me, and that was dangerous. At any moment she could have enough, and call someone because she didn't understand. She didn't know why I was trying so hard to stay right where I was and hold out as long as I could.

I sat there through the nervousness and nausea. I sat there through the dizziness and depression. I could feel myself letting go, but there was still that one last shred of hope that no matter how screwed up everything was, I could still do what I came here to do.

It was hard, so many things coming in between my goal and me, but I knew I could do it. Like I told Carlisle. Even if it was the last thing I did, I would keep Jack's attention on me, but more and more, I was feeling like I was losing track and in way over my head.

Despite having almost no sleep the night before, Jack stayed up until Heather and the boys went to bed. Following them shortly after. I stood up, so I could follow him, but he looked right at me, pointing a firm finger in my face.

"No." He said, "You stay." Without offering an explanation or any further instruction, he walked away. I whimpered, but sat back down, watching after him.

Well, shit. What was I supposed to do now?

It was as he was walking away that I fully began to realize. I was losing absolutely everyone from my old life. Heather, Mike, and the boys. The Cullens. All because of the person turning his back on me right then. Once again, this wasn't turning out like I thought it would. Things were going wrong left and right at a pace even I couldn't have anticipated.

It was a feeling I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. To literally have nothing else to look forward to but to suffer and die. To have nothing left in my life worth fighting for. All of that stripped away from me the moment I woke up again, and I knew. This was where I'd chosen to put myself.

Something off to the side caught my attention. Ken was still in the kitchen, cleaning up after a round of dessert, but from where I sat I could see out into the backyard. There on the dark patio, stood Alice. Gesturing for me to come outside. I was surprised to see her at first, but I shook that off. Slowly, I shook my head.

"Go home." I mouthed the words, knowing she would understand me. She placed her hands on her hips, giving me a firm look. Didn't she understand that she was just making this harder on me? I was scared enough, not knowing how the night would go now that Ken and I were the only ones in here.

I looked over as Ken finally finished up in the kitchen. Alice ducked out of sight as he flipped off the kitchen light with a sigh and walked over to me. Every step he took made me want to run even more, but I couldn't budge. Running wouldn't get me far, and it'd just piss him off. I'd done a pretty good job of that today already. I didn't want to add to it.

"Cold shoulder, huh?" He asked me, referring to Jack. At first, I was surprised he was being nice, so I just shrugged a little.

"Yeah." I mumbled quietly, "Has been all day. I don't even think he'll let me in." I looked over as he sat down on the couch beside me, "What'd you say to him? He still thinks you'll take me to the hospital."

"I told him the truth." He replied simply, "I told him how it is. How it has to be. What he's probably doing now is cutting you out. It's the simplest, easiest way."

"Oh." I murmured.

"Come on." He said, "Don't look so sad. I promise I'll make your last days worth it." That's what I was afraid of. By now, though, I wasn't surprised to hear him say that.

"I don't know if I got days." I admitted, and he chuckled.

"If you're still able to keep food down now and then, you've got days." He nodded a little, "Now, I'll bet one good punch to the stomach would probably kill you, but that's a last resort. I won't do that unless I have to. You know that, right?" Silently, I nodded. I did know that. He spoke again, "I'm sorry I was so mean earlier, but you pushed my patience."

"I know." I replied, "I don't know why I did it. It didn't do any good."

"People do strange things when they're told they're going to die." He explained lightly, "Which is why I'm willing to let it slide, if you're good from now on." I stayed quiet, staring at my hands.

"I don't think when I'm scared." I mumbled, "So I dunno if I can be good like you want me to be."

"Honey," He murmured, "If you're looking for mercy, you're not going to find it here. I've been as patient as I possibly can with you, but I can tell you right now that that's not going to last."

"I know." I mumbled again, almost silently. I was trying so hard to just accept my fate, but I couldn't help being afraid.

Once again, I recalled what I remembered being told of Heather and Jack's life when they were kids. How the hell did Heather survive? Her entire life was like this. _Worse_ , even, because her mother only added to it.

In the dimly lit living room, just the TV on, I felt impossibly alone. I tensed hard as Ken reached over with a heavy sigh and pulled me sideways up onto his lap. His arms around me, my legs over one of his legs. My butt centered, unfortunately. I sat as still as I possibly could, my entire body from my feet up to my neck locked.

I did what I could to just bite my lip and deal with it, but this just bothered me far too much to tolerate it. My wide eyes were tearing up, and the last thing I wanted was for him to see me cry. I needed to move.

"Now, now." He murmured to me, "Just relax." Not possible. The tone of his voice pushed me to try to escape.

I grunted as he squeezed me a little, and I squirmed, placing my hand against his chest and pushing away from him slightly like a cat that didn't want to be held. Like a stubborn child determined to hold that cat, he pulled me back to him. Countering each push of my hands with grasping holds of his own. Chuckling, which told me that this was all just a game to him.

With his free hand, he caught my left wrist, bringing it down and across my body until his right hand could capture it. His right arm held me so I couldn't back up or throw myself sideways off his lap. Nearly cradling me.

His free hand explored my face, my neck, my shoulders, just beneath the collar of my shirt. Getting more tense by the second. Despite how his grip wasn't near tight enough to make it hard for me to breathe, it was. I felt like I couldn't breathe, like I was drowning but no matter how I turned my head or twisted, I couldn't find air. It was scary, and I would have given almost anything to get myself out of that situation. Almost, although my fear grew stronger the more tense he got.

His hand went back to holding my face, his palm against my chin, his fingers on one side of my face and his thumb on the other. He first placed one slow kiss against the side of my head, then another against my cheek, just under my eye. He just started to turn my head toward him, when I gasped out.

"Stop." I whimpered, the sound choked in desperation, "Please stop."

Oddly, instead of making it worse, speaking up seemed to help.

He chuckled, "Okay. You're right. I'm sorry." Surprisingly, he did stop. The pressure he'd placed on my face eased as he released his grip on it. He just held me now, allowing me to catch my breath once the heart-pounding fear eased a bit. I was still restrained, but I would tolerate that as long as he stopped trying to suffocate me.

"You'll get used to that." He told me, "Or you won't. I really don't care." His chuckle sounded loud to me.

That wasn't comforting to me. His arm constricted a bit, pulling me closer to his chest and pinning me there. He buried his nose in my hair, breathing in deeply before kissing my head, "What I wouldn't give to keep you." He sighed almost contentedly, resting his cheek on the top of my head.

So what was the difference between this time and last time? What made him stop when I asked him to this time? I didn't care. I was just unbelievably grateful that he did. Out of the corner of my eye, from where I sat, I could see Alice had returned to the door. I did what I could to look at her without alerting Ken, and it worked, but I couldn't tell her anything.

Being smashed like this in his arms, it was hard to calm myself down enough to calm her down.

Even from the dark, and where I sat, I could see how badly she wanted to come in here. I could see the struggle in her eyes, but I kept my expression firm. Despite how I was probably visibly trembling, I shook my head ever so slightly. Enough for her to know that I was okay for now.

Up the stairs, we both clearly heard a door open, and I tore my gaze away from the door. I wasn't sure if I should be relieved, or more worried in case it was Jack.

With a heavy sigh, Ken lifted me again and sat me back on the couch. I crawled away, sitting on the other end of the couch just as the light along the stairs turned on, providing more light for us to see by. I glanced back over at the door, thankful that I no longer saw Alice.

Perhaps thirty seconds later, Heather made it down the stairs. I looked over at her, watching as she seemed to take in the scene in front of her.

"Where's Jack?" She was obviously confused.

"He went to bed already." Ken replied.

"And he didn't take her?" She asked, now concerned.

"He's in a bad mood." Ken answered, "So I think it's best if she spends the night with me."

Heather immediately scoffed, "No. She'll be sleeping in our room tonight." I couldn't help immediately standing, "Go on up, sweetheart. I'll be up in a minute." I nodded, rounding for the stairs shakily.

"Now, just hold on a minute, Leandra." Ken's voice made me stop, hesitating as I nervously watched him stand up. He came closer, and Heather moved back, coming to stand next to me. I looked up at her as she gently took my shoulder.

"You two have been talking all day." He pointed out, "And I'm pretty curious about what."

"You." Heather answered easily, "And Jack."

"I see." He nodded a little, "So you've been filling the kid's head with lies?"

"I haven't told her anything." She replied, "Any opinion she has of you is her own. For example.." She looked down to me, "Sweetie, where would you rather spend the night?" I wasn't sure about answering, looking over at Ken nervously.

"You." I told her quietly.

Ken chuckled, "Well, guess what? You're nine. You'll sleep where I tell you to sleep."

"You don't talk to her like that." Heather snapped before I could reply, but I was getting more nervous by the second.

"You just wait your turn." Ken scolded her, and a look of incredulous disbelief came to her face. He reached for me, and she literally slapped his hand away. She looked down at me, and her hand on my shoulder gently turned me back toward the stairs.

"Go ahead." She murmured, "There's room for you on the love seat." I didn't mind that thought. I took a step, and though Ken didn't seem too happy, he didn't say anything more. Probably due to what he saw in Heather's eyes. I saw it too, so I went on. I ascended the stairs slowly, but I paused at the top, listening to Heather's heated whispers. The walls of the stairway acted like a funnel, scooping up a lot of sound and allowing me to pick it up.

"I know what you're doing." I heard her, "You and Jack. You both are psychotic. Both of you make me sick. This is low, even for you guys."

"Oh?" Ken replied, obviously interested.

"She's not something you two can just play with like this." She answered, her low voice dripping with hatred, "She's a person. She's a terrified child, and if I see you lay a hand on her, for any reason between now and when we leave tomorrow, I'll rip it off at the wrist. You hear me?"

"I can see you're upset." Ken's responding chuckle chilled me, "Are you jealous that I've found a replacement? It's not like you to toss empty threats, baby girl."

"Go to hell." She growled, and I couldn't help descending the stairs a bit to peer around the railing. Ken was moving right for her. I tensed in fear as she backed up, but he kept coming. Eventually, she laid a loud slap against his face. I flinched at the sound.

He narrowed his eyes at her, unphased. He tried to return the favor, but she caught his hand. That didn't stop his other hand from grabbing her around the neck and pushing her back against the wall beneath the stairs with a thud.

"I thought I taught you." He told her as she fought in his grip, "I don't care how old you get. You don't ever raise your hand to me, you fucking bitch. Act tough all you want to, but we both know you're nothing."

I couldn't help being reminded of when I slapped Jack the other day in my room, and the words he spoke to me earlier today. I couldn't help wondering, though, if this was how I would look in several years if I had chosen not to go to school that day. Heather was admirable and worthy of looking up to in every way, and I would consider myself lucky to turn out like her, but would Jack still be thinking he could boss me around like that too?

"You don't scare me." She told him, her voice trembling with effort. I cringed a little as he leaned forward and bit at her neck. Roughly still pinning her. My eyes grew wide at seeing that. I wasn't sure why.

Gathering all her strength, she kicked him back as hard as she could.

"Get one thing straight." She told him as he stood back to watch her, "I meant what I said. Keep your filthy hands off of her, you son-of-a-bitch." He chuckled at her.

"Now you look here." He said in a low growl, "Jack has willingly handed her over to me. It's adorable the way you think you have a say in what I do to her."

"I swear to God I'll find someone that'll listen-"

"And let your family know what kind of a slut you are?" He asked, quieter, "You know for a fucking fact that I own you as much now as I did the day you were born. You speak one word of anything to anyone, and it'll all come out. You know I wouldn't hesitate to go right up there and tell them all about the things you've done-"

"Fuck you."

"Not tonight, sweetheart." He replied.

 _That's_ why it bothered me. I must have strangled a gasp a little too loudly. I tensed as Ken spotted me, looking up at the stairs. His smile growing before Heather looked up as well. I stayed there in nervousness, afraid to move after what I'd just seen and heard.

"Don't worry." He smiled calmly, keeping Heather pinned, "We're just talking. Come on back down here." I shook my head, shaking myself out of whatever paralyzing fear I'd been stuck in. Standing up, I walked as fast as I could back up the stairs.

"Leandra." I hated hearing my name as a warning. The raising of his tone toward the end of the word, signifying his rising anger.

I really wasn't sure what shook me so hard about what I'd seen, but I just knew I wasn't going to back down the stairs into that.

I trembled as I found the nearest open room to hide in. It turned out to be a bathroom at the very end of the hall, so I closed the door behind me, dropping the room into pure darkness except for a tiny bit of light coming through the window.

I backed away from the door until I felt hands gently grip my upper arms. I squeaked, jumping roughly and immediately darting forward.

"Leandra." Alice whispered before I even reached the door. I froze, turning back around to try to see her. She pulled me into a gentle but supportive hug, which I returned. Hugging her tightly and whimpering into her side.

"I know." She murmured under her breath, "I know. He's such a horrible man."

"You shouldn't be in here." I couldn't help crying against her.

"No." She said, "We're both leaving. Carlisle's waiting down in the yard-"

"I can't." I sobbed as quietly as I could.

"You can't be serious." She said, pulling back to look at me. She sighed and kneeled in front of me, "Leandra, listen to me. Edward is down there with Carlisle." I whined, trying to turn away. Meaning, he'd heard everything going on in both our minds. She kept me still, though, keeping me facing her.

"This has gone far enough, and I'm terrified for you." She murmured firmly, "What you don't know is what exactly he has planned for you. As soon as he's alone with you, you won't survive the night."

"Jack won't leave." I sobbed, "He won't leave." I had to admit I was in denial.

"He will." She replied, "He's already made up his mind. He's leaving tomorrow without you." I shook my head, but she went on, "If we get you out of here right now, we can still help you. You still have time."

"I-I.." I trailed off, sounding very unsure for the first time this entire time, "B-But, what about-"

"We can figure that all out later." She stressed, "Leandra, please. I'm _this_ close to slaughtering that man myself."

"Don't do that." I shook my head firmly, "Don't say stuff like that."

She sighed hard, "This isn't a game."

"Leandra." I spun to look at the door. Ken had come looking for me, his voice coming from the hallway.

"Come back tomorrow." I whispered quickly to her, tears still falling as I twisted out of her hands, "After Jack leaves. Let him leave without me, and I'll come with you."

"I can't leave you-"

"Go." I shoved her back toward the window, and I turned back to the door just as it opened forcefully.

"Found you." Ken chuckled, reaching in and grabbing my arm. I looked back as he yanked me forward, and thankfully, I couldn't see Alice anymore.

"Where's Heather?" I asked as he dragged me down the hall, my voice bouncing a bit with each jogging footstep to keep up with his pace.

"She's fine." Ken replied, and I tried planting my feet.

"What did you do?"

"She's fine." He repeated firmly, tugging me along easily and leading me into what looked like the master bedroom. The large bed against the far wall seemed to be the main focal point of the room. Dark redwood, four poster bed with matching dresser and chest.

He closed and locked the door behind us as I was looking around.

"One thing you'll learn fast, I'm sure.." His voice was very patient now, "I don't deal well with disobedience."

"I'm sorry." I whimpered and he smiled.

"I know." He replied, "You didn't know. I'll let it slide this one time. Next time I tell you to do something, though, you do it. Understand?" I nodded immediately, "Good. Now.. Where are your pajamas?"

"I'll sleep in my clothes." I muttered, and he sighed.

"Pajamas." He insisted.

"In Jack's room." I mumbled, and he nodded as well.

"Then you can borrow a shirt." He said, already turning for the closet. He found me a t-shirt, and tossed it lightly to me. I took the hint and turned for the bathroom.

I took a moment while I was in there to catch my breath. I really wasn't sure I wanted to be right where I was, but there really weren't many options for me at that point. I had a strong feeling that now was when I would be testing myself. Testing the strength of my resolve, and finding out just how determined I could be.

I was scared. Of course I was scared. I could see it in my reflection staring back at me, I was fully aware of the fact that a psychopath waited for me just on the other side of that door, but I would just do what I could to survive the night. Maybe I would luck out and he would leave me alone.

So I shed my clothes, and I instantly noticed that I didn't have any pajama bottoms. That bothered me. Maybe he would be okay with me just sleeping in my jeans.

He laughed when I brought it up.

"You don't need those." He said, pointing to my jeans, "You're just going to be tossing and turning. Take those off and just leave your clothes there by the door." Reluctantly, I did as he said, dropping the ball of my clothes next to the door. I really hated this.

I waited there, though. Watching as he patted the bed.

"Can I sleep on the floor?" I asked, already knowing the answer, "I-I just thought I'd sleep on the floor." I would rather sleep outside than in here, but I knew that would be even more unacceptable.

"Leandra." He was warning me again, so I stiffly crossed the room. I crawled up onto the bed, but before I could sit or even move out of the way, his hand slapped my butt hard enough to echo in the room. My hands went from supporting my upper body to covering my backside in an instant.

"Ow." I whined as my chest and head fell to the bed.

"That's for stalling." He told me, "Now lay down."

"No." I whimpered, "That really hurt." It was only too easy for him to move my hands to give me two more swats. The second harder than the first. The second of the two slaps jarred my whole body, so I fell forward in an attempt to get away from it. I fought back the urge to cry, even though my hands were released.

He didn't even have to tell me this time. I just rolled over, looking up at him standing there.

"There." He said, "Was that so hard?" A loud knock at the door had him looking over with a heavy sigh, "Get under the blanket. I'll be right back."

This time, I didn't refuse. I rolled back onto my hands and knees, pawing back the blanket and sheet and crawling under with tears drying on my cheeks. I considered being smart and just curling up between the sheet and blanket, but I really didn't want to be smacked again.

I watched as he opened the door just a crack, curling up on my side to watch.

"Where is she?" It was Heather, and Ken sighed.

"Go to bed." He told her, "It's late." I clearly saw the slight struggle as she attempted to push the door open, but Ken held it.

"She's not sleeping in there with you." She said firmly.

"She's fine." He replied even firmer, "Go to bed. We'll see you in the morning." I really didn't want to see her get hurt again, so I spoke up quietly.

"I'm fine." I called, "I just wanna sleep. I don't care where."

"Hear that?" Ken asked, "You're keeping her awake. Good night, Heather." With a bit of effort, he closed the door in her face.

"I'm warning you." She told him from the hall.

"Yeah, yeah." He replied, "Good night."

"I mean it-"

"Fucking go to bed!" I heard Jack call from the other room, "God fucking dammit, let me sleep!" She smacked the door again, but after that, nothing. He waited until he heard her bedroom door close before turning to look at me.

Reaching over, he turned off the overhead light, leaving the light on in the bathroom as he walked into it.

"Go to sleep." He told me, "I'll be out in a minute." Yeah, I wasn't getting any sleep. He closed the door, but I laid awake. Staring at the light-outlined door. After a few minutes, I heard the shower start.

That had always bugged me, knowing someone was taking a shower. It just weirded me out, because then I had to imagine them naked, and that was never a fun thought to have.

"Yuck." I grumbled to myself, trying to force my thoughts in a different direction as I closed my eyes.

I chose to focus instead on what I had told Alice earlier. Once Jack left without me in the morning, I could allow myself to go with them. I just had to make it through the night. It wouldn't be easy, which I already knew, since it just started. I would do it, though.

It set my teeth on edge, though, just thinking about how long the night could really be. Just knowing I was stuck in the same room as Ken. Maybe I could sneak out once he was asleep. Yeah. Maybe once he was asleep, I could at least move to the floor. I could do that.

I was nearly asleep, the sound of the shower actually providing the white noise I needed to start to drift off, when I felt the bed dip behind me. I jumped roughly, sitting up quickly with a yelp. I looked over sharply, sighing as I saw Alice there. Apparently, this was something I wouldn't get used to for a very long time.

I started, "I thought I told you-"

"Leandra," She whispered in the dark, shutting me up, "I'm getting you out of here. Now."

"No you're not." I argued in a firm whisper of my own, "I said tomorrow."

"When I said 'when he's alone with you' earlier, I didn't mean when the house was empty." She whispered back, "You don't know what he has planned for you. Tonight."

Well, that was a bit concerning. I'd misunderstood her earlier. Slowly, I turned around to face her. I couldn't see much else besides an outline of her against the slight glow from the window behind her, but I could just imagine the worry in her eyes.

The dark still scared me, even more so now.

"He's got you right where he wants you." She added, clearly to try to change my mind. I fidgeted a little, hesitating in my reply.

What did this tell me? Well, he was nice earlier. Maybe if I told him to stop again, he would, and just because he had a plan, didn't mean he would actually go through with it.

In my hesitation, she moved. Reaching over, she turned on the bedside lamp, and stood up. I was puzzled for a moment until she took my hand. I allowed her to pull me off the bed, since she was leading me away from the windows.

Across the room, she stood me in front of the mirror on the dresser.

"I've seen myself, Alice." I mumbled, irritated as I avoided looking at my own reflection.

"No." She murmured, "Really look."

I rolled my eyes a bit before I finally found my own gaze in the glass. It took me a moment, but I finally found what she was getting at. It wasn't just my expression, but it was everything about my pale, tired face that worried her.

Hesitantly, I reached down and lifted the edge of the shirt up over my stomach. Her expression hardened in response, but she didn't say anything. Letting me really get a good look at what I was refusing to see before.

It was the same as I saw before, but in this light, it looked pure black. I wasn't sure what that meant, but the fact that it wrapped me up, on top of the welts I already had was a very horrifying sight. I was really seeing myself, just like she wanted me to, but even really seeing myself, it didn't change anything.

I couldn't stomach looking at myself anymore, so I let my shirt fall, and turned away from the mirror. Returning to the bed with a sigh, looking over at her as she followed me. Slowly nearing the bed, expecting me to speak.

"I-I.." I swallowed nervously, "Alice, I can't leave yet. Jack has to know I'm still here before he leaves tomorrow, or it all starts over again. Edward's down there, right? Ask him to tell you what I know."

"I don't care about that anymore." She told me, reaching for my hand, but I yanked it away.

"I do." I whispered, "It means everything to me. More than whatever is wrong with me, more than whatever he's gonna do, more than losing everyone I ever cared about. Don't you get it by now? I don't care what happens to me or what I have to go through. I'm doing this. I knew I was gonna die before we even left Sappho."

"I'm not letting you-"

"It's not up to you." I whispered my shout, "This is why I keep waking up at nine years old. Every move I make to try to keep this from happening always, always messes everything up for you. For Carlisle and for Esme, and for me too. I can't keep this up. If you can't handle that, then.. Well, you shouldn't have come here."

"No, you don't get it-"

"Get out." I told her harshly, pointing at the window, "Get out, go home, and don't come back. I'm sick of you always thinking I'm too weak to do anything. I'm sick of you thinking you all can just boss me around. I'm sick of it. Get out!"

She sighed, shaking her head, "I'm trying to-"

"I don't care!" I hissed, "Get out and don't come back here. I wouldn't even be here at all if it wasn't for you pushing me around. Pushing yourself in where you don't belong. Now I'm here, and now I have to clean up the mess you made of my life. I never asked for your help, and I'm not asking for it now! Leave!"

She looked down, shaking her head again.

"If that's what you really want." She murmured, "But-"

"That is what I want!" I replied, "I wish I'd never met you!" I could see that that had been the final push I needed.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." She whispered sadly, "I'm so sorry, Leandra." I had a feeling that it wasn't only butting in that she was sorry for. I looked down, growling to myself in anger. I was about to really lay into her when I looked back up and noticed she was gone.

I sat for a few seconds looking around, making sure she was really gone before scooting off the bed, walking over to the window and locking it.

"And stay out." I whispered firmly. I made the rounds, making sure every window in the room was locked. I had just fixed the third curtain on the third and last window when I heard the shower turn off.

She was wrong, I told myself as I returned to the bed. He wouldn't be stupid enough to do anything to me while Heather was right down the hall, and definitely not with how possessive Jack was of me. There was no way.

But there was that small spark of doubt twirling in my stomach.

 **A/N: There's chapter seven. Gah I hate him.  
THANK YOU HUGE BUNCHES to my two reviewers of last chapter! YAY! ThAnK YoU! :D You're AWESOME!  
I've got a busy weekend coming up, and early start to next week, but I'll be updating as often as I can. (:  
Eight should be out tomorrow. Just so you don't have to wait too long on this small cliffy.  
Until Eight, my friends! :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**ImPORTANT NOTE!: It gets a bit intense in this chapter, but you probably expected that. Regardless. Proceed cautiously.**

 **Chapter Eight**

The anger I felt toward Alice was quickly fading into something else.

I knew I had no reason to yell at her like I did, but my fear pushed me to do it. I was afraid of giving in after so much time spent preparing myself for this. I knew I would be okay. I had no choice.

I wasn't even sure I'd have a chance to apologize to her for what I said. I wasn't even sure if she wanted me to apologize. It really wasn't that I wasn't grateful for her help, and for staying with me, but her placing pressure on me to leave with her was making it that much harder on me because of the pressure I was putting on myself to stay and deal with whatever I had to deal with until the time was right.

The pressure was just getting to be too much until I felt squeezed. My heart sped up at just the thought of making it until morning. I just had to hold on that long. It was just one night, right? It'd be easy. Right?

That doubt stayed, despite my attempts to calm myself down. I knew better than anyone just how much could change in one night.

Turning off the light, I crawled back into bed, right back into the same spot and position I was in before. I rested my eyes closed as soon as the bathroom door opened. I really couldn't help being nervous, though. Part of me wished I had asked for some sort of heads up about what could be coming, but I had a pretty good idea what was crossing Ken's mind. I knew him well enough to know, and if what happened earlier downstairs was any indication, he didn't leave a lot of need to guess.

I kept my eyes closed as silence followed the light turning off, but I knew there was no way he would believe I was really asleep. The silence in the room was heavy, like trying to breathe underwater. I grew dizzy with my effort to even out my breathing, instead of letting fear make it tremble.

I'd be fine. I'd be fine.

That small spark of doubt started to grow, to join together with the nervousness constantly pooling there, speeding up my heart beat and tightening my breathing. My eyes were closed, but I was far from relaxed, and I listened hard for any sound in the room.

Despite being curled in a ball underneath the blanket, I felt completely exposed. Open, vulnerable. I wondered if this was how all prey felt when they knew a hunter was looking right at them.

I wasn't stupid. I knew Heather had a reason to be worried for me, and as much as I tried to deny it, I did care a little bit about what would happen to me.

"I know you're not sleeping." His quiet, whispering voice in front of me completely shattered the silence in the room, and I jumped, knowing he stood there beside the bed. He sounded different, all previous efforts to make his tone comforting was gone now. Like a whole other person.

"I'm sorry." I whispered back, squeezing my eyes shut, "I'm trying to. I swear." I listened to him sigh, and movement.

"Open your eyes." I did as he said, looking right into his eyes. He'd kneeled beside the bed, looking at me in the dark as he spoke again, "I want you to know, and to understand right now that no matter what happens tonight, it's your fault."

I wasn't sure how to reply. The way he said those words left little room for hope, breaking those lies I'd been telling myself in half. He firmly believed those words, and it only fed that spark of doubt.

"You know why, right?" He asked gently, his voice almost silent as he reached up, smoothing his fingers lightly through my hair, "Because you didn't listen earlier. Because you acted out. I wanted so badly to let it slide, but if I did, you'd think that behavior was okay. It's not, and I have to teach you. Do you understand?"

I didn't reply, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. I just looked at him, watching his every move. The darkness only making things worse for me.

He went on as if I'd agreed, "I just want you to remember that you brought this on yourself."

With a warning like that, I wasn't even sure what to do. Maybe he was bluffing. I knew it was stupid to think that, but it was the only hope I had right then. Part of me was tempted to beg him to leave me alone, but I knew with him, it would only make things worse. I couldn't do it. So I laid in silence.

"Okay." He murmured softly, removing his hand from my hair and standing up.

More silence lasted several seconds before I felt the bed dip slowly behind me, the blanket being lifted as he settled in. I was so tired, but I knew I couldn't let myself fall asleep.

I laid in a very tense little ball, my back to him and my eyes now open as I blinked in the darkness. He was still at first, and for a moment, I actually thought they were wrong. I actually thought he'd changed his mind or something, because he didn't move anywhere toward me. So I relaxed a little. Just enough to close my eyes.

What a stupid move that was.

After a minute or two more of just laying there, he sprung like a snake, grabbing my neck from behind me and jerking me back toward him. I didn't even have time to cry out before his large hand was covering my mouth. I gasped in breath as much as I could in the position he had me, his other arm ensnared my waist, yanking the rest of me back against him. Forcing the breath from my lungs with how tight he held me now. I whimpered a fearful cry from behind his hand, a delayed reaction to being caught so far off guard.

This definitely wasn't like how he'd acted before, earlier in the day. This was forceful. Scary. Before, I still had a hope of getting away. Now, I didn't even dare to breathe, much less hope.

"Not a sound." He whispered into my ear, and that was really when my trembling began. He didn't even have to add a threat onto that. His voice was a threat enough and it held ice, I was sure of it. It chilled me, causing pure terror to tear through me in waves. My limbs numbed in response, and I just froze. His voice reached a deeper part of my mind than Jack's ever had. It forced me to lay still.

There went my previous plan to plead with him, with his hand tightly over my mouth, smothering me as my breathing raced. Right out the window. Right out the same window Alice had gone.

At that chilling thought, I gave a very brief struggle, but he just squeezed me tighter until I stilled again. I knew full well that he could kill me right here if he chose to, and that thought terrified me. Especially given his threats earlier. I was sure he did that on purpose, planting those threats in advance so I would understand a little better now.

Keeping me pinned to him, he rolled forward, smashing me into the mattress as he settled his weight directly on my back and forcing me onto my stomach. I whimpered, and fought for a brief moment for a breath, but otherwise, I laid completely still under him.

If I thought it was hard to breathe earlier, it was a thousand times harder to now. His knees trapped my hips in place, and he laid over me. One hand pinning my head to the side. Panic held my eyes open, tears escaping and my breathing racing in panting gasps under his weight. I panted through sobs, trying to stay quiet as he bit at my neck. Just like I'd seen him do to Heather. His breath was hot as his teeth literally pinched at the skin of my neck, hurting me, and I attempted to turn my head to stop him. He bit harder, and I tried harder to squirm away.

"Ow." I gasped, tears flowing freely from my eyes now.

"Shh." He hissed sharply into my ear. I was so scared, so I just sobbed as silently as I could. I couldn't help it anymore as his hand snaked up my shirt, along the side of my body to grip my throat. I felt every move of every muscle in his hand slowly tightening on my throat, and that was the feeling that just snapped my resolve in two. I'd found my limit, and had run full speed passed it.

No, I yelled in my mind. No, no, no, no.. I sobbed.

"Shut up." He growled a whisper into my ear.

My breathing hitched in my throat, my eyes wide as my hands clenched in the sheet under me. Releasing my throat, he moved his hand away, but he readjusted his hold on my head. Balling his fist tightly in my hair and pressing down, flattening me harder into the mattress. I wasn't sure what he was doing with his other hand, but I was suffocating. Tears flowed freely now, trailing steadily from my eyes to pool on the mattress pressed against the side of my face. My cough was muffled, choking on my sobs, but he seemed to allow that.

My panicked thoughts once again raced a million miles a minute, and wouldn't slow down to allow a coherent thought to cross my mind just yet. I couldn't breathe, which only increased my panic.

The welts along my back burned and screamed in pain as he pressed against them, probably on purpose, but it was the thought of the fact that those welts would be the least of my worries that pushed me to give in. In a split second decision, I gave in and allowed the first coherent thought through.

Okay, I thought, shouting in my mind. Help me. Please. Help me somehow.

Half a second after that thought was even through my mind, a very loud shattering of glass echoed in the room behind us. I flinched hard, allowing a louder sob out in my surprise.

Ken was off of me in just as much time, having rolled away from me. Allowing me to breathe. I sobbed in relief, taking in an audible breath as emotion closed my throat and staying on my stomach for a moment. Letting out a few of the sobs I'd been struggling to silence.

"What the fuck?" Were his three words as he moved to stand up. Turning on the bedside lamp. Now nervous, I rolled over to look across the room as well. Nobody stood there, so I was puzzled for a moment, thinking someone had come in to kill him.

Ken stood up and went to investigate as I watched, trembling where I sat. Leaning down, he picked up a very solid brick from off the floor, and I realized what they'd done. God, they were brilliant.

"Thank you." I whispered very lightly under my panting breath.

A knock at the door had me jumping, "Leandra?"

It was Heather. The sound of the window breaking had been loud enough for her to hear. I pushed myself off the bed and scampered across the room. Adrenaline moving me as fast as I could go, and making it possible to ignore the pain. Ken seemed distracted enough by the brick and peering out the now broken window to not care. I unlocked the door, yanking it open. I landed against her, hugging her instantly. I couldn't help it. She was such a welcome sight at that point, and my trembling wouldn't slow down.

"Are you okay?" She demanded, pulling back and kneeling down to look at me. She looked me over as I shook violently in front of her. I tried to form some sort of reply, but I honestly couldn't yet. Unfortunately, without any pajama bottoms on, she saw first hand the bruises along my legs. Her eyes widened, and she looked closer.

Her eyes darted back up to mine, taking in how upset I really was. Moments from a full on break down. Looking at my face, though, brought her attention to my neck. She reached up quickly, moving my tear-damp hair away from my neck as she looked at me. I must have had a mark there.

"Can I sleep in your room tonight?" I whimpered instead of answering her unspoken question. Oddly, for a moment, I worried that she would somehow blame me for choosing to stay in here when she'd come by earlier to get me. I worried that she'd say I'd brought this on myself, or toss in a firm 'I told you so'.

Instead, her eyes immediately darkened as her gaze darted over to Ken. She heard my tone, and what I wasn't saying to her. It didn't take a genius to figure out why I was so scared if she already had her suspicions.

"Go on, honey." She murmured to me, smoothing my hair briefly. I didn't hesitate this time, stepping around her and scooting across the hall toward the open door. Passed both Josh and Zack standing in the doorway. Mike was standing also, watching me practically jump into their room.

I was a wreck, but he looked closer as well. My bruises weren't hard to see.

"What in the hell?" Mike asked, watching after me, but the way I sobbed must have told him not to ask any more.

"Stay in here, guys." He told us as he walked out. Closing the door behind him. I could hear very loud arguing coming from across the hall between Heather and Ken, but I did what I could to tune that out. Mike was there, too, so Ken couldn't hurt her.

"What happened?" Josh asked as soon as the door was closed. I attempted to swallow my panic a few times, trying to answer, but all that could come out were sobs as I broke down. I was safe in here, but I knew my panic was panicking them.

I ran across the room, straight to the window. I looked out into the dark yard below, but I couldn't see anything.

"If windows are breaking," Zack spoke up, "You probably don't wanna be over there." I ignored him. The only way they would have known to do that was if Edward was still here too. I felt a little bad for making him come here and miss his chance to stay with Bella, but I wasn't really thinking about that. I was more concerned about my rising guilt over having to be rescued at all.

Unless it was just the fact that Alice was down there, unable to let me put myself through that. She could have just met her limit of what she was willing to put up with. As glad as I was not to be there anymore, I couldn't help feeling like my choices were being forced. They knew, no doubt, that if given the opportunity, I would dive for the closest form of safety I had in this hell. So they made an opportunity.

What was going to happen now, though? It was more than obvious that Heather wasn't going to let this go. Not with how upset I had been, and definitely not with the bruises she had seen on my legs. I could hear it in her quiet, angry voice across the hall.

I didn't have much time to wonder, as I heard Jack's bedroom door slam open, and my heart dropped. He was going to blame me. I knew it. I struggled to catch my breath. For the briefest of seconds, I considered jumping out the window, but the sharp drop to the ground below changed my mind. Still, though. The thought of hitting the ground and dying was more appealing than the thought of staying here and waiting for Jack.

Sure enough, the door opened forcefully and Jack looked right to me.

"I didn't do it." I immediately sobbed as he walked in. Gripping my arm, he pulled me out into the hall.

"No," He told the boys as they tried to follow, "You guys stay in there." He shut the door in their confused faces before tugging me up the hall and into his room. Heather was still arguing with Ken, but Mike was just heading down the stairs. Probably to go take a look outside.

I worried for her until Jack closed the door, and I looked up at him. His anger was very evident, and there wasn't really anywhere for me to go. I looked up at him, whimpering as I backed up a few steps.

I tried to speak, "I didn't-"

"I don't know what the fuck is going on," Jack growled as soon as spoke up, "But I know you had something to do with it." He wouldn't be completely wrong.

"No I didn't." I whimpered, a sob escaping with a few tears, "How could I?"

"I don't know how you did it," He replied, "I don't care. I just know this is your fault. What did you do? And for fuck's sake, put some fucking pants on! Have you lost your goddamn mind?"

"I didn't do it." I cried, gasping through deep panicked breaths, "All I know, is that h-he was on top of me-"

"Wait," He jerked me a little by my arm, shutting me up and I looked up at him, "What?"

"I couldn't have done it," I replied, "'Cause he was on me-"

"On you?" He asked.

I just nodded, and before I could even really reply, he turned around and left the room.

"B-But.." I couldn't help following, crossing the hall right on his heels, so I got to see Jack walk right up to Ken and punch him in the face. Just to the right of his nose. Heather, shocked, stepped back a bit to watch.

"I told you to wait until I fucking left." Jack snapped at Ken as he recovered, "You couldn't wait one goddamn night before you started that shit. No wonder she's scared out of her fucking mind. No wonder she's freaking the fuck out."

"What did I tell you, boy?" Ken asked in reply, chuckling, "You knew full well what was going on here."

"As soon as you're alone with her, you pounce on her like she's some piece of meat." Jack went on incredulously, "What the fuck is wrong with you? I told you to wait, or she'd freak out. Pace yourself. Damn."

They'd actually discussed this? Just that thought tried to turn my stomach.

Heather had heard enough. Rounding on the spot, she walked right for me.

"Come on, honey." She offered her hand, and I immediately took it. To my nervousness, she led me back into Ken's room and straight for the window.

"Mike?" She called outside, but I was busy watching both Ken and Jack watch me. I really didn't like the way they were looking at me. Jack looked more pissed than I'd seen him in a very long time, but Ken looked determined. A slight smile on his face.

Once again, I considered jumping out the window and taking my chances. As it was, we were both cornered with nowhere to move but toward them.

"Yeah." I heard Mike call from down below the house.

"Get back up here." She said, "We're leaving. Now."

"I don't think so." Ken chuckled, and she turned to look at him. Jack shook his head with a sigh, turning around in irritation. Ken spoke again, "If you want to leave, go for it. You know where the fucking door is, but that one is staying here." He pointed at me, and I flinched as if he'd thrown something at me.

"That's not happening." She replied, "I'm not letting her stay here with either of you. She's coming with me, and I promise you'll _never_ see her again. Now get out of my way." With that, she pushed her way passed Ken, but he wasn't about to just let it go like that. As she passed him, he reached out, grabbed a violent handful of her hair and twisted her around to face him.

She released my hand to fight him off in time for Jack to grab me up in his arms and back us up. As much as I knew I shouldn't, I knew I needed to help her, so I kicked. I kicked backward, as hard as I could.

The first thing I felt was the heel of my foot hitting him hard, and I was suddenly falling. I caught my fall on one knee and both hands on the floor. His loud shout had me glancing back, but I pushed myself up and rushed forward as quickly as I physically could. Placing both hands against Ken's stomach, I shoved him. In surprise, he released Heather, only to catch a hold of me.

"Wait your turn, runt." He laughed, easily tossing me aside. I stumbled with the force, hitting the floor just as Jack reached for me. His hand closed on my wrist before I could get back up, and I was violently jerked back across the floor. A rough slap across my face as soon as I was within reach stunned me long enough for Jack to get back up. Bringing me with him.

"You fucking bitch." Jack growled, more to himself than to me, "You're lucky you have shitty aim."

I was able to focus on them just as Heather swung the brick right at Ken, but he was prepared. Yanking it from her hand and swinging it himself, landing it against the side of her head.

I flinched hard as she hit the floor, and didn't get back up.

Everything suddenly stilled, only about a minute having passed. I struggled to catch my breath, staring at Heather. Waiting for her to get up, but when she didn't, it started to sink in.

I sobbed loudly, attempting a small struggle. I wanted to go to her to see if she was okay, but Jack held me tighter, and we watched as Ken dropped the brick on the floor right next to her. Slightly out of breath as well, Ken nudged her arm with his foot before kneeling down beside her. Just like that, my fight was gone.

My cheek burned and throbbed with pain from Jack's slap, but I hardly felt it against the returning pain from my stomach and welts.

"See what you caused?" Jack asked me sharply, shaking me a little. He backed us up a bit more just as Mike made it into the room. I kept my mouth shut, trembling in Jack's arms as I watched Ken pull the biggest charade of concern I'd ever seen from him.

Truthfully, I couldn't _not_ see what I'd caused. I couldn't look away from it.

I wanted to say something so badly, but what would I do if Mike got hurt too?

Apparently, she'd "tripped" and hit her head on the brick on the floor. She was out cold, and bleeding pretty bad from a giant cut along her hairline, but still breathing, so that was a plus.

Jack was right. I'd caused this. If I had just been tougher, and not asked for help, this would never have happened. If I hadn't tried to help her, this would never have happened.

The guilt I already felt became debilitating. This sort of thing was exactly what I was trying to avoid. Seeing her laying there like that was hard enough without Jack whispering that that was my fault.

Despite Ken's insistence that they just take her to the hospital themselves, Mike called 9-1-1 immediately, unsure about moving her. He was worried that she might have hurt her neck when she 'landed'. I was hidden away in Jack's room as soon as the ambulance came with a firm warning to stay put and stay silent.

I only had enough time to sniffle deeply fighting back more tears as he slammed the door shut. Jack was still convinced that this was my fault. He believed it, so I believed it too.

Almost as soon as the door was closed, I wasn't alone anymore. I wasn't particularly surprised this time. Not after what all had happened tonight. Not with everything they must have heard down there. Not with all the chaos and pain I'd caused.

"I know what you're thinking." I closed my eyes briefly at Edward's quiet voice by the window, "Leandra, you couldn't be more wrong."

I stayed silent, though. Looking at the door as I couldn't help thinking about what I'd caused. I knew he was seeing every thought through my head, but that didn't slow them down. I was more tired than I had been in a very long time. In every way.

I was so worn down. Exhausted, weak, but I still thought more about Josh and Zack than I did about myself. What would happen to them if Heather never woke up? I'd never regretted a split second decision I'd made more in my entire life. The guilt I felt made me nauseous.

"Leandra." Edward tried again to break me out of those circling thoughts. I finally looked over at him, blinking a few stray tears from my eyes.

I couldn't help crossing the room and hugging him. The last time I'd actually seen him was that night Alice brought me back to their house. Yet another choice I never should have made.

He returned it gently, though, which I appreciated.

"They called you?" I asked, only needing confirmation. I needed to know how much I should be embarrassed about, but clearly, he'd been here to hear everything. He had heard the desperation in my thoughts, the snapping of my resolve when nobody else would have.

"For many reasons." He replied, "Mainly because they needed to know exactly what you were thinking. I'm glad I came."

"I was too at first." I whimpered, stepping back, "I-I didn't know that would happen. I-I.. I didn't think.." I broke through a sob, "I didn't know he would do that to her. I never wanted her to get hurt because of me."

He sighed, crouching in front of me, about to speak, but I had to turn away. In quick search for the bathroom, I moved for it as fast as I physically could. Embarrassment wouldn't keep me from needing to throw up, as much as I wished it could.

I sincerely hoped while I threw up that it would be normal, but opening my eyes briefly, I could see it was far from normal. As embarrassed as I was, I was ten times more embarrassed as I glanced back and saw Edward standing there in the open doorway. I turned forward again in shame, trying to hide what I knew he already saw.

My head spun uncomfortably now, more than it had the whole time, and I knew if I were to release my grip on the toilet, I would fall. I just needed a minute, so I closed my eyes, resting my head briefly on my arm.

I was now perfectly aware of the fact that I was running a fever. I felt too hot, but I shivered uncontrollably. Because I was aware of that, though, Edward was now aware. I knew full well that that was as bad of a sign as throwing up blood. Especially the amount of blood I was losing. It wasn't horrible, but any amount wasn't good.

I forced myself back, choking back a whimper.

"Leandra." Edward finally spoke, having stood silently through my suffering, "I know your reasons for putting yourself through this, but it's done now. It's gone on long enough."

"Not yet." I mumbled, "You don't know yet what Jack is like."

"I think I've heard enough." He replied, "The very thing you're so afraid of is the one thing you're headed for if you don't let me get you out of here. Right now."

Dying.

I didn't reply as I stood up shakily, flushing away all the blood before turning for the sink. I was trying to figure out a way to word my response as I rinsed out my mouth. I couldn't deny that it was getting harder to stay upright. To keep standing when all I really wanted was to just lay down. I'd already made a huge mess of everything I was trying to do. I didn't have much of anything left.

"I know it feels differently to you," He said, following the gist of my thoughts, "But you're only nine years old. You have your whole life ahead of you."

"Maybe it would be better." I mumbled, glancing up at him as I left the room, "I might be scared, but maybe it would be better if I die. Then maybe nobody would get hurt because of me again."

"What happened tonight was not your fault." He stressed, "I don't care your reasoning." I looked down. I really wasn't up to arguing about it. I knew he was wrong.

"I know you know. Every single word Jack has ever told you has been a lie."

"I know." I mumbled, "But that don't help me. You know why I gotta do this."

As I looked at him, my reasons crawled through my mind. A quick skim over all the events that brought me to this decision. One by one, each memory of all the stress and pain Jack causes everyone over the many years I spent with them scrolled sluggishly through my mind like a movie. One thing that hadn't ever happened to me before, though, was the fact that I had to go back and forth, piecing everything together when it got confusing or when I got mixed up.

His expression changed as he listened to me, gathering all the information I could give him in such a short time. His eyes narrowed, his brow furrowing in concern.

Towards the end, I turned away and sat on the bed.

"Leandra," He spoke after our minute of silence, "I completely understand your reasoning, but there is one thing you've been missing this entire time."

"What?" I asked quietly.

"All of that is preventable." He replied, "Every single moment of it."

"How?"

"The same way everything else is." He said, "Just by showing me all of that, we know what not to do. We can change it. Alice might be willing to sit back and let you throw yourself to the wolves for your cause, but I can't allow it. We're going to do this right."

For really the first time, I started listening. I was sure it had a lot to do with what waited for me once everyone was gone, but once again, I felt my resolve thinning. Maybe he was just that good at making me listen, because he was the only other person on the face of the planet that knew my thoughts as well as I knew them.

"You're very selfless." He continued, "And I deeply admire your bravery, but this isn't the right way." I stayed silent, looking toward the door at the sound of the paramedics getting Heather ready to go. They were in the hall now. I was running out of time to decide.

"But," I muttered, "Every time-"

"It's different now." He reasoned, "You've shown me all I need to know to keep any of that from happening again. All you have to do is trust me, and let me get you out of here."

I stood there in silence again, debating. He knew not to push me any more, as I needed to come around on my own. I started going over things in my head.

If I were to disappear now, all Jack would assume was that I ran away, but then there was the fact that I'd been talking to them before we left. We would be right back where we started. I was confused, but I knew I was still stuck.

"I can't." I whimpered, "No matter what I do, it won't be enough."

"I can take care of them for you."

"No." I said, looking over, "I don't want anyone to do that. I don't want you to go back on everything you stand for just for me."

"As noble as that is," He replied, "That isn't what I'm talking about. Come with me, and I'll explain." He offered his hand, and I hesitated.

"Where would you take me?" I asked, my nervousness increasing the more I considered it.

"Step one," He answered, "Is the hospital." I started to shake my head, but he continued, "Once you're there, they will protect you. Once they know the situation, neither of them will get through the front door."

"Even if they can't get to me there, they'll find a way once I leave." I countered, "This won't work. They know people."

"We can fix that too." He told me, continuing to offer his hand, "Please, Leandra. You're willing to give your life for us, yet you refuse to trust us?"

I continued to hesitate, until it occurred to me. It suddenly made sense why I was so tempted now, and it wasn't just because I was afraid of what waited for me.

"Jasper's down there too, isn't he?" I muttered, and he sighed.

"Yes."

At least he was honest.

"I could tell." I mumbled, "He's not very sneaky." I was still torn, however. I glanced to the door before looking to the window. I wanted to avoid having to suffer tonight just as much as I wanted to save them, but then I thought about how selfish that was.

"You're not being selfish." Edward answered that thought immediately, "You've given me all we need. We know how to be prepared."

My thoughts continued to slip, though.

Why was I doing this? To keep them safe, but for what reason? They meant the whole world to me, but as soon as I knew they were safe, I wouldn't get to have them in my life. To keep them safe, I wouldn't get to know them anymore. I would have to tell them goodbye, and that thought hurt me. I would have to let them live their lives without someone like me darkening it.

I couldn't know Heather, because that would just put her in more danger. Especially after just seeing what Ken was willing to do to get her out of the way. That scared me more than what I'd seen earlier today, and it was effective. I couldn't know Josh or Zack for the same reason.

I would never know Andrew.

I would never meet Mikah. He would get to live his life too.

If I were to accept Edward's offer right now, what would be the point? No matter where I ended up, the people I ended up with would never mean as much to me as my family did, but even if they did want to take me in, I couldn't accept it. That would be selfish. It would be the most selfish thing I could ever do.

"No, Leandra." Edward tried to tell me.

Also, no matter where I ended up, I'd still be running from Jack. Or Ken. I would never be safe, but I didn't want anyone to take them out. I cared about my family too much to let them do that to themselves. Even if they wouldn't feel the slightest bit of guilt, I would always know that it was my fault they went back on everything they stood for.

The whole point of this was to keep them intact, and by doing that, I couldn't be involved.

Or worse yet, Aro. I could never live a normal human life, because try as much as they wanted to, there was no way to avoid Aro forever. He would find out about me sooner or later.

But by that reasoning, I really had no reason to run away. What would I be running to? More fighting, more stress, and torturing myself with thoughts of what I used to have until the day I died. That didn't sound appealing to me.

That was a very depressing thought to have. Nobody but Edward knew what this was like. Running circles in my head, trying over and over again to come up with a solution, but over and over again running straight into a wall. Like a mouse trapped in an ever-shrinking cage. There was only one way out, and that led straight to a waiting mouse trap.

"There was something I said before," I mumbled, keeping my eyes down, carefully sitting on the bed, "Before, during the vision, I mean." I could see that he knew I was talking myself out of it as we spoke.

"Nobody is giving up, Leandra." He murmured, "You may be ready to, but I won't let you."

"Jack is like a trap, waiting to close." I said anyway, "He's got the leash. My mom knew it, too, but she didn't know it until it was too late. I'm glad she got away, but he'll find her. He always does, and when he does, he'll own her again too. Heather tried to get away, and they found her."

"Leandra," Edward spoke, and I looked over, "There's no way we would abandon you."

"Then you haven't learned anything." I mumbled under my breath, "You don't get it either. Nobody does." That just made me even more sad. It made me sad to consider the fact that none of them knew just why I was doing this. They'd proven it repeatedly by how often they'd tried to get me away from here.

Realizing that just emphasized my point. I would probably always be alone. If I made it any further than tonight, they'd never really understand why I did what I did. To them, I still just some weird kid who would rather go through hell just to keep them safe. They knew the gist of what I told them, but they knew nothing of the emotion or my reasoning behind it. I could explain to them until I was blue in the face why, but they still wouldn't get it because I was alone in that bond again.

That was an extremely lonely feeling. Realizing yet again that all the memories I had of this family were my own, and nobody else's, was very depressing to come to terms with. A sadness settling just under the constant fear I felt tried to numb the nausea, and for the most part, it worked.

"Nobody knows." I repeated quietly, keeping my eyes down. I sighed, my voice quieting, "I wish I'd never woken up."

"Don't say that." He replied, "Leandra, just because we don't hold the same memories doesn't mean we don't care."

"I know." I mumbled, "But it's different for you. I told myself before that I would give anything to go back and change everything, but.. I didn't know that changing everything would make me give _everything_. I guess I just didn't know what was really wrong with me back then."

"Leandra." I heard Jack call from the hall. He was calling me to him. I took a breath and stood up.

"Don't." Edward murmured quietly, "Don't do this. Just come with me."

"I have to." I whispered back, "Please, just go. Please, just leave me alone."

With that, I forced myself to turn away from Edward's offered hand, and crossed the room to the door.

I opened it, just to find Jack about to open it himself. He grabbed my hand and jerked me out into the hallway. All the activity was gone now, Heather having been taken. He yanked me around, standing me in the hallway.

"I'm going with the boys to the hospital." Jack told me firmly, "You're staying here."

"Can I go too?" I asked quietly.

"Why?" He snapped, "So you can finish her off? No. God knows the chaos you'd cause in a hospital." I looked down, "Plus I don't need you puking everywhere. You're staying here."

Nervously, I glanced over at Ken standing in the doorway of his room before looking after Jack as he turned to walk away. I whimpered, "Please?"

"What part of 'no' don't you fucking understand?" He barked at me, and I flinched, "Stay."

"Please." I couldn't help it, "Take me with you."

"Ask again.." He warned, his tone tight as he pointed at me, and I pursed my lips. Looking down. I couldn't decide what I was more afraid of. Pissing Jack off or staying here with Ken. I glanced over as Ken joined us in the hall.

"Go." Ken told Jack, and I cringed a little as he placed his hands lightly on my shoulders, "We'll be here when you get back." As Jack turned again, I ducked away from Ken and darted forward before he could catch me again. I grabbed onto Jack's wrist as tight as I could, suddenly in tears.

"Please." I begged him again, and he was actually surprised as he looked down at me, "Don't leave me here."

With a sigh, Ken grabbed me up from behind, but I held on to Jack as long as I could before Ken jerked me away from him.

Jack hesitated this time, watching me. Jack knew exactly why I didn't want to be left here. He knew I knew what waited for me as soon as he left, and he also knew that no matter what he said to Ken, it wouldn't do any good.

I begged him with my eyes as much as I could through my tears, my breath too choked with sobs to speak anymore. I could see that some part of him was torn. Part of him didn't want to leave me here with him, because he did know what was going to happen the second he left the house, but there was that bigger, stronger part of him that couldn't give in. His pride.

He'd already told me three times, and if he gave in now, it would make him look bad.

Jack sighed hard, looking away.

"Go." Ken told him once more, and that seemed to do it. With a shake of his head, Jack turned, and descended the stairs. Despite the fact that my hope died a little more each step he took, I wasn't really all that surprised.

We continued to stand there in the hallway, listening to Jack leave.

As soon as the front door was closed, Ken hugged me tighter. Tight enough to squeeze my breath out in a quiet cry.

"What did I just get done telling you?" He growled at me.

As much as I tried to deny it, this fight or flight feeling couldn't be ignored anymore. With a loud sob, I arched as much as I could. All that did was hurt, so I didn't get much accomplished with that move.

"Please." I choked out, kicking as much as I could as he turned for the bedroom. As soon as it was within my reach, I grabbed onto the door frame, sobbing out my effort through clenched teeth. I was terrified. I was more afraid of what would happen if I didn't fight than I was of the consequences of fighting. Despite the pain it caused me, I held on just long enough to frustrate him into setting me down to try to get a better grip on me.

I turned, punching right for his stomach. Of course, I missed, but it was enough to move him back a step. I took that opportunity to turn and run. I wasn't very fast, and every step jarred the breath from my lungs, but I had to try.

I felt him reaching for me right at the top of the stairs, so I flinched forward. Unfortunately, too closely to the top step. My foot skidded off the edge of the step and my other leg crumbled under me.

Everything else happened too fast for me to follow. Half way through my tumble, I finally reacted enough to try to stop myself from falling by reaching for the handrail, but that only made me hit my head again against the wall. After what felt like much longer than a few seconds, I sprawled ungracefully at the bottom of the stairs. Too dizzy to focus on anything, so I shut my eyes and tried to gather my bearings again.

It took me a moment to realize exactly what had just happened. Thinking back to seconds ago, I could feel where I'd gone wrong. Instead of placing my foot directly on the step, I'd taken too large of a step. My heel had landed on the very edge of the step, so when I put weight on it, it had slipped. My other foot had been unprepared to catch me in my haste.

I did inventory while I laid there for those few seconds. I laid mostly on my side, my upper half laying chest down with my cheek against the floor. One leg was still resting on the bottom step, but the rest of me had hit the floor at the bottom of the stairs. Being twisted this way hurt more than I could ever begin to describe, but oddly, my head hurt more than my stomach did right then.

It took me several seconds before I even thought to move, the sound of Ken slowly walking down the stairs after me reminding me that I had to move. I honestly tried to get up, but the most I could do was roll over, clutching my stomach.

My head pounded hard now, and though I was focused on Ken coming ever closer, I also thought about the conversation I'd just had with Edward. As much as part of me really wanted to take his offer, to choose safety over this, I knew I couldn't, but I couldn't help wondering if I had just made the wrong decision. Yet again.

It had been the first time I was that tempted this entire time, and I knew it was more than Jasper's doing. It had been instinct pushing me to take Edward's offered hand, but I denied it.

I pushed myself up again, but once again, I wasn't strong enough. With enough effort, I pulled my legs to me, curling into a small ball. That rather jarring trip down the stairs had stolen a whole lot of my strength. Disorienting me, making me easy pickings for Ken, who finally came to stand right next to me.

 **A/N: I'm sorry this is so late today. Ugh lol it's been one hell of a shitty day. I got to this at every spare second I had.**  
 **THANK YOU! To my awesome reviewer of chapter seven! :D Yay! THANK YOU!**  
 **Busy weekend starts tomorrow. Officially. Please have patience with me while RL has my attention over the next few days. Monday, I probably won't have net as we transfer it to the new house, so I'll try to update either Sunday night, or whenever I can. Bear with me. (;**  
 **Until Nine, my friends!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"Dumb ass." Ken chuckled, stopping beside me.

I coughed out a heavy sob, my breath rattling in my chest. I tasted blood. My ankle hurt quite a bit, as did my shoulder. My head and neck also hurt, but I could still move my neck so I knew I hadn't damaged it. As positive as that was to realize, the rest of me wasn't in as good of shape.

With a sigh, Ken crouched beside me, just watching as I forced myself up onto my hands and knees. Dizziness and a brand new pain in my knee, however, knocked me back over again. I just laid there now, sobbing to myself. Hating how useless I was at that point.

Something was wrong. I knew that really went without saying, but it was still hard for me to accept. I trembled, shaking with a weakness I hadn't yet known. It was literally almost too hard to move anymore, and all I wanted was to go to sleep. It was the weirdest feeling.

I just cried harder as Ken reached out and grabbed the back of my shirt in his fist. Giving it a firm tug, he dragged me across the carpet, back to him. I weakly lifted my leg and kicked at him. He chuckled again, grabbing hold of my ankle and flipping me roughly onto my back.

I had to close my eyes once more against the dizziness that resulted, and I just laid there. Even as I felt him crawl over me. He gripped and pinned my lifeless wrists to the floor on either side of my head, and I knew he was looking down at me.

It truly was a chore to keep breathing at this point, much less to find the _want_ to.

"You really are stupid." He told me with a chuckle, "You could have lived. All you had to do was just do what you were told." I didn't reply, opening my eyes and looking up at him. He smiled down at me, resting over me and smothering the breath from me with his weight, "Now, you get to suffer a lot more before you die."

I was so far beyond caring at that point, and could only hope that I died long before he got me. With how cold I could feel that I was, I knew that that wasn't such an outlandish request.

Turning my head, I spit blood all over the carpet. I wasn't swallowing that, as I had plenty in my stomach already, but that just pissed him off, given the growl of irritation he let out. I hadn't even been meaning to piss him off this time, but I guess it did.

He lifted himself off of me, kneeling there over me with a sigh.

"Now I have to clean that." He told me, "But it's okay. We have all night." Instead of replying, though, I took a slow breath in and spit toward his face. Surprisingly hitting him right below his left eye with crimson. He turned his head briefly, wiping the blood off his face and giving me a flat look.

"I can't even be mad at you." He said, "I pity you, but I promise you'll pay for that here in a minute."

At my lack of response to that, he stood up and with a sigh, he picked me up. He scooped me up off the floor and into his arms, turning back around and ascending the stairs again. Up the hall a little ways before walking into his room again.

My heart pounded too quickly, more adrenaline pulsing through me at just the thought of where I was. He dropped me painfully onto the bed, watching as I rolled over again.

"Stay." He told me, "I'll be right back." He chuckled quietly to himself, "Like you're going anywhere."

"I'd rather die than stay here." I whimpered breathlessly against the mattress.

"I bet you would." He replied easily, "But don't worry. You'll be getting your wish soon enough. Now close your mouth. You're getting blood everywhere." Sure enough, I opened my eyes and saw what he was talking about. I hadn't even noticed that blood was escaping my mouth with every breath.

I looked over as he turned and left the room. It tried to scare me to think about him coming back, but I just closed my eyes again. I couldn't help hoping that I never had to open them again.

I no longer felt nauseous. The pain in my stomach wasn't as intense anymore, but I didn't dare try to move. I knew if I did, the pain would return. I felt incredibly small in those few silent moments alone, listening to my heartbeat and my own shallow, forced breathing.

What was I even doing? Why was I even _here_? It worried me a little to realize I actually had a hard time remembering those small details. Those details, the answers to those questions weren't as easily accessible as they should be. My sluggish mind kept getting stuck on what had just happened, the rest of my thoughts foggy at best.

I didn't have much time to wonder about that. It was almost painful, the rush of relief I felt as I looked up at the slight rustling sound of the curtain being moved. Despite my earlier hopes of never having to open my eyes again, I did without a thought at the slight hint of no longer having to lay here alone.

"Oh, Leandra." Carlisle sighed sadly, and I just cried. The pressure in me was making it hard to breathe, so talking was almost out of the question. My breathing was shallow enough. Edward climbed through the window next, and I glanced over at him.

Even with a brief glance, I could see it in his eyes. It bothered him so much that I was like this now. If I had just taken his offer before, not even thirty minutes before, I might not be in such bad shape now.

I didn't have it in me to feel bad about that anymore. I was far too tired.

Of all the things that could finally get me, it was the fucking stairs.

Carlisle gently sat down next to me, and I looked up at him. I could see it there, too. I wasn't doing well. Even as I laid there, breathing was getting harder, and I knew enough to know that there wasn't much anyone could do anymore.

The rest of me hurt as well, the shoulder I'd landed on being the worst of the other pains. My knee a close second, but I didn't have to capacity to focus on that anymore. As much room as my mind had before, that had gone, right along with my energy.

"He's gonna come back." I closed my crying eyes against new tears, turning my face into the pillow. I was honestly fearful of the thought that I'd have to be strong again. Somehow, I needed to find that strength in me, but it was gone. I couldn't find it anywhere, or even begin to consider ways to find it.

I closed my eyes again, lighter this time as I couldn't help thinking back to earlier in the evening. Standing in that bathroom, just across the room as I struggled hard to mentally prepare myself for whatever the night would bring me. Oddly, I was such a different person then. Hind sight was sometimes hard to come to terms with, but I felt like I needed to. I needed to understand the difference between that moment and now.

"Leandra," Carlisle spoke quietly, and I looked up at him, "I'm not leaving here without you again. I'm taking you in to the hospital."

"No." I mumbled, my voice hardly making a sound. He sighed, obviously preparing to argue with me, so I went on, "I just wanna go home. If you gotta take me somewhere, take me home. It's all I want." I couldn't help it. I was so scared, and in so much pain, the thought of going home was all I could hold onto now.

We'd already discussed what I considered to be 'home', so I knew there was no confusion in that aspect. I was being drawn there, so part of me knew that I was done here. For whatever reason.

Carlisle didn't wait for me to ask again, standing up. My request was more than he could have asked for just a few hours before. It was all I wanted now, my mind too exhausted to even think about holding out against someone like Ken anymore.

Carefully, Carlisle scooped me up and turned for the window. I didn't protest in the slightest because I honestly would rather have died than stay there. I just didn't want to die there. There was a difference.

Ken would come back to find me gone, and probably be really pissed, but I couldn't find it in me to care. Nothing really mattered to me anymore but seeing my home again, which really should have told me something was very wrong. The way I saw it, though, I'd done all I could, and now it was up to them to stay safe.

"Just for a few minutes." Carlisle told me, "Then I'll be taking you in." I didn't disagree with that. I just closed my eyes as he ducked through the window, holding me still.

The sudden drop from the window scared me, but I didn't have it in me to react more than giving a whimper at the way my stomach dropped.

"Edward." Carlisle spoke, so I opened my eyes. It took several seconds before Edward was at our side again. I didn't think much of that.

"It'll be best to run with her." Edward murmured, "We can send Alice back for the car." I agreed. The sooner I got to see home, the better. There was something in the way my heart beat and my forced, shallow breathing that made me feel like there wasn't a whole lot of time left for me.

I hated being carried, but with the pain I was in, I knew I couldn't get anywhere on my own. Much less two states away. I trusted Carlisle, so I just closed my eyes. I had a few minutes to spare, so I would use them by resting. I'd already been through too much tonight.

About a minute later, though, I had no warning. I felt horrible, but I coughed, and instead of air escaping, it was blood. Just that small effort to cough sent more blood than I'd seen yet out of my mouth and nose, all over Carlisle. He didn't even seemed bothered. I choked as I attempted to breathe in nothing but blood. I felt something shifting or catching inside me with every breath in and cough out.

Instinct had me attempting to roll over, just to try to breathe better, but he held me firm. I shivered violently, but I waved that off as being cold. I wished I could have gotten my pants, but I wasn't about to ask to go back.

An overwhelming thought of what Ken would do when he found me missing was the last straw. I had just enough consciousness left to see Carlisle's light blue shirt covered in crimson and black before I felt myself fall limp.

"Clear everyone out." I started to come around at Alice's voice. When I woke up, it felt like I was still sleeping. Like my mind didn't want to work, or was several seconds behind in waking up. We were standing outside, so I looked over. I wasn't looking at a hospital, but the house. The warmth of the lights in the house slowed my shallow breathing, and my heart broke at the sight.

This was all I wanted. I was scared, and I was cold, but being home comforted me.

"Just for a minute." I cried, unable to look away. I ignored how stiff the skin of my face and neck felt coated in mostly dried blood. Ignored the slight itch and the sharp smell of it.

"Just for a minute." Alice replied, "Then we're taking you to the hospital." I could tell in her voice, though, that she knew I only had a few moments left. I recognized it, because I knew it, but this was all I wanted. I didn't want to be saved. I just wanted to be home.

I wanted to apologize to her, but my mind wouldn't form the words I needed to say. She'd just been trying to help me, and I yelled at her.

"Which room was yours?" Alice asked before I could ask.

"The guest room." Edward answered for me as he stepped forward, stopping beside us. I finally looked away from the house long enough to look up at him. For a moment, my mind was blank before it started working again. I wondered if I needed to start remembering everything I could about the visions. Forgetting for a moment that I'd already done that.

"I got it." Edward assured me, and I closed my eyes briefly, "Your job is done, Leandra." My mind went blank again, and I breathed out the relief at knowing that I'd done it. I'd done everything I could to make it okay for them. For everyone. For everyone, except for me.

My mind felt like it was under water. The dizziness only adding to that effect. I was finding it hard to not only focus on my thoughts, but my eyes were swimming in scalding tears that trailed down my cheeks. I'd held on as long as I possibly could, and if it weren't for the fight I'd given, I might have made it through the night. As it stood right now, though, I'd taken all I possibly could. Suddenly all I wanted to do was sleep.

"Carlisle," Edward spoke quietly, "Hurry." The tightness in his voice told me all I needed to know. It was too late to try to fix me, and I could feel that he was right.

"No," Alice murmured, "It can't.."

Her voice faded away for a second, and the next thing I really knew, I was feeling the difference in the air temperature around me. I opened my eyes to see that we were now standing outside my room. All the memories I had of this room crawled forward sluggishly, and weakly, I attempted to fall to my feet.

Carlisle had let me stand, but he never removed his supportive hand from my hand. The muscles in my legs burned and ached, and I trembled with the effort it took to just stand there. My bare feet were cold on the carpet, but I didn't really feel it.

I took one step, though, and my knees gave out. I landed on my knees, my hand braced on the floor. Swallowing back the nausea, I cried with my head hung. Something in me had given up, but I wasn't quite ready to give up along with it. I had one last thing I needed to do first.

"I need to see it." I sobbed once quietly, even as Carlisle gently scooped me up again, "I need to be home."

He carried me into the room I remembered so well. He stepped forward. Further into the room, toward the bed that used to be mine. It looked like a typical guest room in here, but I could still see it as mine. It still felt the same, being in here. Like I'd been gone for so long and finally come home. It was the deepest sense of comfort they could ever have given me.

He made it to the bed before I nodded, and he let me down again. I dropped to my knees next to it. Raising up just enough to lay my upper body on the bed, my head turned to the side to look at the wall. My hands felt the blanket at the foot of the bed, and like I'd done so often to comfort myself, my fingers gently moved against the fabric. Grounding me, giving me a sense of reality.

In all my years here, I'd acquired so many things on the wall, little pictures and things to make this room mine. The placement of the furniture, the window I'd looked out of so often. Through the visions in my head, I could see them again now. Physically seeing the room that I remembered, as if my mind was trying to comfort me in my last moments.

Carlisle kneeled beside me, and Alice came to my other side. I gave no effort to cry. Tears just rolled out of my eyes every time I blinked at the wall. I could feel exactly how vacant my eyes were now, and I knew that physically, I might have still been alive, but that was very rapidly coming to a close. I worried that if I closed my eyes now, I wouldn't be strong enough to open them again.

"I can see it again." I whimpered, my softly trembling voice weak, not looking at either of them, "I-I fixed it. Edward.. He knows.. Everything you'll need to know about everything that goes wrong."

I had to stop talking, as I had to catch my breath. It was getting harder to do that. I felt pressure inside, and the pain had spread as my lungs struggled to work. The breath that left me now was accompanied by a slow trickle of blood. It tickled uncomfortably, but not enough to react to it.

"I'm sorry." I whispered through tears, "I-I know I promised.. Promised that I'd be okay, and I-I.. Thought I would be, but I'm not. But I can see it.. I can see.." I trailed off with a small, confused frown. It was hard to think.

I couldn't remember anymore where I was going with that.

I had just enough left in me for that to bother me slightly, but soon that faded away too. Slipping away like smoke, drifting away like blood in water. Leaving nothing behind, like I was being washed clean. As often as I'd wished for my mind to just go quiet, I enjoyed it now. It comforted me even more, and for the briefest second, I felt like I was being physically moved away from caring.

"Carlisle." Edward spoke up back by the door. His worried tone worried me a little, but once again, that drifted away too.

"Leandra?" Carlisle asked, moving around me to look at my face. I couldn't see him, though. The edges of my vision had darkened, and the rest was closing fast.

What did he want from me? I couldn't remember.

I didn't answer. I couldn't. I was awake long enough to feel a last, warm tear leave my eye. My breathing up until this point had been forced, struggling, but it drastically changed now, and I felt my breathing hitch and stop, which was a slightly scary feeling, but not even half a second later, I felt nothing. My senses seemed to drop off all at once, but one at a time. Like dominoes, but all at once.

Consciousness being last, in an instant.

The very next instant, I could feel the effort. Having no memory of anything else, the sudden rhythmic pressing of my chest disoriented me, hurting my back flat against the surface of the floor. Hearing my name called from far away, but being unable to respond to it.

I could still hear, but my brain wasn't processing what it was hearing. It was just noise, and I didn't understand.

"Carlisle." I heard a smooth, quiet voice demand, "What are you doing? No. Let her go."

"I can't." Came the quiet, firm response somewhere above me, "Not now. Not like this."

"Don't do this to her." The first voice replied, "Remember what it did to me?"

Suddenly, it all stopped again. For the briefest of seconds, it had all stopped again. The very next thing I knew, I was back in that bedroom. Ken's room.

It was pitch dark, and for a moment, I wondered if I'd lost my sight, but my eyes eventually adjusted. It was just dark. Shadows whipped forward, fading into view around me, but they stayed dark. It was disorienting, being back there without knowing how I got there.

Somehow, I knew that I wasn't really there. I was just there in my mind, which was just as real to me.

A harsh, whispered voice startled me, and in an instant, I understood what was happening. This was a vision. A very vivid one, as I felt the pressure against the side of my head.

This was what would have happened had I not done what I'd done when I did it. I somehow now had a complete understanding of the other path I could have taken. Knowing that, however, didn't make me feel less terrified.

Staring at that dark mirror, I could see my own reflection now. Something I'd ignored before. Meeting my own eyes in the glass across the room. The devastating self-hatred came forward as well, just a second before I was forcefully yanked out of whatever vision that had been.

Directly after that, everything seemed to pick up again around me as I clearly heard the sound of my own heart beating frantically. I gasped deeply, pulling in more air than I ever had before in one breath, coughing hard as my lungs seemed to freeze for a second. I arched a little with the force of it, my hands balling into fists before I opened my eyes. It took my vision a moment to start working again. Like a dark cloth covering my face that was suddenly lifted away.

Then I focused on the pain. Not only the excruciating pain my damaged body caused me, but a searing, violently burning pain all through my body, and the emotional pain that vision had caused me tearing a brand new hole in my chest. My sobs ripped free the second I remembered how to.

"Oh, honey.." Esme was here, and she felt for me, "I'm so sorry." I couldn't exactly reply, so I continued to cry. It took me a moment to figure it out.

I was being turned.

What was he even doing? I was a kid. I wasn't supposed to be here. Was this how it was supposed to happen the whole time? I cried now in a mix of intense pain, and confusion, my mind being unable to process what had just happened to me. It was in a roiling panic, which put me further into a roiling panic.

To my further surprise, though, I remembered everything about where I'd just been in my mind. The what-could-have-happened was strong, and it struck me. I focused on it. Being turned now was going to change everything about what I knew.

It was going to bring absolutely everything forward. There would be no place left in my mind for those details to hide. There would be no part of my mind that I couldn't access whether I wanted to or not. I wouldn't be able to hide from any memory, or live in any form of denial because the truth would always be there.

Of course I knew the rule about not turning children applied to children too young to learn, but would it still apply to me? I could be taught, but I was still a child. If by child, they meant anyone who was too young to have developed any.

I stayed awake. I was aware the entire time, but only with myself. I'd retreated as far inside my head as I could get, curling up into myself and just holding on. Clenching my teeth so tight I thought they'd break. Squeezing fists in the sheet I laid on. With as much pain as I'd been in the last few days already, retreating was the only way I knew how to handle this pain now.

Like a cement puzzle, every memory I had of the visions were placed together, connecting with the memories I had of my human life and dragging those memories into this new life with them. While I was hiding away, I watched those very specific memories and visions be placed around me. Almost like a protective wall, forcing me to remember the life I had before.

The strongest memory I had, besides all the pain and heartbreak, was of one specific person I would have given anything to find comfort in again. I held the memory of that person close the whole time, like a security blanket. Curling up around it and keeping it safe just as much as it kept me as safe as it could while being forced to remember all the horrible things I'd been through, both in life and in vision.

There was no confusion about how I got to this point. I probably had a deeper understanding of how I came to this point in my life than most others would. For others, the pain would be impossible to think through, but with as much practice as I had curling into my mind, I had no choice but to remember.

I had my moments of crying, but I knew that no matter how hard I would cry, they couldn't do anything to help me. Crying, for me, was a sort of reset. When the pain would build up to much to ignore anymore, I'd cry for awhile until I could handle it again.

I tolerated my hand being held, and I tolerated being cleaned up a bit. I tolerated my hair being smoothed, because I didn't know what else to do. I didn't have enough experience to know how to handle this much agony any other way.

It was a long several days. Longer than I'd ever experienced before, and it quickly became apparent that this was taking longer than usual. I wasn't even aware that that could happen.

I could hear them talking in the hall, which was how I knew it was taking too long. Instead of the customary three full days, I took four and a half. I stayed in the last phases for over six hours, instead of the usual few minutes, as if my body was fighting it. I could tolerate it, though, because the venom had left ninety percent of my body, focusing on my heart. The last human piece of me.

But I wasn't strong enough to fight it off. Nobody ever was.

Something went wrong, though.

Every other time I'd been turned, there had been a moment of disorientation when I first woke up, giving them a chance to calm me down and explain things. This time, however, there was no disorientation. My instinct, the second I opened my eyes, was to run. To get away. So I listened.

As soon as I heard my heart stop, I came out of my mind as my eyes opened. I took a sharp breath in, and I was up and running. Shoving off of the bed hard enough to completely destroy it, exploding up in a sudden burst of speed none of them had a chance of countering. I tore my way out of the room, down the hall, and straight through the glass of the door in less than half a second. Making an odd sort of sobbing growling sound the entire way. I was extremely fearful, which only pushed me faster. Especially as I heard several others following me.

I had no idea where I was going, but the urge to hunt was actually squashed by this instinct to flee. Immediately, I had to get away. To escape, to just _go_.

"Leandra." I recognized the voice behind me as Alice, but I didn't stop. I was far too far ahead to even consider stopping. I was running out of straight ground fast, however. A sharp incline, straight vertical rock face coming up quickly. So I jumped at the last second, digging my fingers into the rock and yanking myself upwards.

Instinct told me that it would be near impossible to track me in the water. So as soon as I reached the top, I jumped over the ledge and plummeted down to the ocean below.

Somehow, I was even faster in the water.

I stayed under the water until I heard them all drop into the water as well. Three separate splashes behind me. As soon as I heard that, I turned. Diving deeper, and heading back toward land.

Pulling myself back up easily, I continued to run.

Once my feet hit the stone, I took off. Nearly flying with my speed, my hair blown back behind me. Leaving almost no trace with how few times my feet touched the ground. Dodging foliage and trees, avoiding leaving my scent on anything but the air.

I wasn't even sure how I knew to do that, but it was working for me, so I kept going. I had no idea where I even was. I just knew I'd have to stop soon to hunt. Now that I had outrun the threat, I needed to take care of the burn.

"Leandra." Edward had somehow caught up to me, "Stop." I realized how he'd done it. They were spread out, probably in anticipation of this. I forgot about the burn again, not even bothering to glance back.

With a sob, I pushed faster. Almost desperately running for my life now. It was my instinct to run, and so far, my instinct hadn't led me wrong. It was the inner me I could trust. It had held me, kept me safe during the process of being turned.

"I know you're afraid." He called again, "You don't have to be."

I heard as two more fell into a run behind me.

"Head her off." I heard that, and found more speed. They were just trying to catch me, but I wouldn't be caught. I followed my instinct, aching for a freedom I'd never have if they ever caught me.

"Damn, she's fast." They were further behind me now. I was outrunning them. All except for one. Though he wasn't anywhere near catching me, he wasn't falling behind either.

"Stay on her, Edward." I recognized Esme's voice, the first time I'd heard it like this, and it made me finally look back. I continued to run, but something in it caught my attention. It made me pay attention, however briefly.

"Esme." Edward called back, "Talk to her."

"Leandra." I heard her again, "Stop. It's okay."

It was a trick. It had to be some kind of trick. With one more sob, I turned away. I ran now as fast as my legs would carry me. Taking longer strides.

I could tell I was heading further from any populated areas, but the trees were also thinning out. It was open wider now, stretching in both directions were thick, grassy hills. I could go faster without having to dodge trees. A solid, straight shot forward.

"Leandra!" I ignored her this time, but I couldn't help noticing. I was headed east. I suddenly realized where I was going.

My instincts were taking me forward, leading me to the one person I knew I could always trust. No matter when it was I found him, he always spoke my language. The memory of this person, the same memory I'd held close the whole time I was being turned, was too strong to ignore now.

"Oh, no." Edward heard that, of course, but knowing where I was going lifted any kind of hesitation I might have had. He called again, "Leandra, he's human!"

I didn't care. I needed him. Just the memory of him, of his support and his safety, called me. A firm, steady tug around me that I couldn't deny. I didn't want to.

"Who?" I heard further back.

"She's going to New York to find Mikah."

Just hearing his name set my heart carrying me faster. Now running at the top speed I possibly could, leaving even Edward behind for a moment. It was no longer an option.

"Shit!" Clearly Emmett.

Edward struggled, but he stayed on my tail. The others tried, but they fell away after awhile. I could feel each pull of every muscle in my legs as they carried me further. Closer to Mikah. I listened to them, and quickly found an even deeper depth of strength I wasn't aware of before. Instead of tiring out, I got stronger the more I ran.

I was getting close now. I could feel it. It called me, made it impossible to fight. I would have to time this right. If I stopped, it wouldn't take Edward long to catch me, but the need to see him now outweighed my instinct to stay free or to hunt, which really said something.

I had to slow down, because I was coming up fast. Through town, and thankfully, it was dark enough that there weren't many people out.

Suddenly, he was there. My gaze landed on him, and locked.

I finally stopped across the street from his house. The house I knew so well. I'd known right where to find him, breathing in.

In the darkness, he couldn't see me, but I could see him. He was obviously very human, but I didn't want to kill him. I needed him too much to kill him. Even human, his scent called me. I heard his heartbeat, so strong and loud to me. I would know that heartbeat anywhere, committing it to memory.

I peered at him from where I stood, watching as he frowned at the trash bag he carried to the can at the curb. His jet black hair a bit shorter than I remembered of it, but it fell into his steel gray eyes the way I always remembered. I crouched a bit, taking in every detail of his face. He was such a sight for sore eyes, I almost wanted to cry.

"Leandra." Edward whispered firmly, but I ignored him. He had caught up to me, but was obviously hesitant to capture me on his own. My eyes locked on Mikah. Just as Edward nearly reached me, it pushed me to move. Darting across the street, hiding now behind the neighbor's trash can. I was feet from him.

"Leandra." Edward was getting more upset.

I crouched, scurrying closer but still out of sight. I had his scent now, and I wasn't going to let it go. I'd know that scent anywhere, just as much as his heartbeat. I watched him closely as he sighed, looking around in the dark. I easily remembered how much he always meant to me, even if he had no idea who I was.

I whimpered, not wanting him to go, and I knew he heard me. He paused on his way toward the house, looking back and around. Unable to deny it any more, I stood up.

"Hey." He spotted me quickly, "Where did you come from?" He obviously couldn't see me very clearly, but I saw him. That was what I needed. That connection. Him looking at me, me looking at him. Just to see him.

"Leandra." Edward showed up at my side, forcefully taking my hand, "There you are." I jerked my hand away with a low growl.

"Is she your sister?" Mikah asked him. I could see why he thought that. Edward and I had almost the exact same hair color, but from where we stood, it wasn't possible to get a very close comparison.

"She is." Edward replied, "She has trouble doing what she's told." He gave me a very disapproving look.

"I hear you." Mikah laughed and I looked back over at him, "My brother and sister are the same way. Not that I can blame them much."

"Right." Edward nodded a little, "Well, I'm sorry to bother you."

I hesitated as he tried to turn me around, looking passed Mikah at the house. I could clearly hear the conversations inside. Alyssa and Alex were arguing up the stairs in the back hallway. Emily was busy watching TV in the front living room.

Sammy and Jonathan were both in their shared bedroom, talking about something having to do with school. All of that was enough to make me want to smile, but one conversation in particular made me tense.

Their parents, in the front bedroom, were fighting heatedly. He was really laying into her about something he'd found in her purse, but mostly worried about how much it had cost.

"Leandra, let's go." Edward took my hand again, but yet again, I jerked my hand out of his hand. Before Mikah could even speak again, Edward actually picked me up, turning to walk away.

"Sorry to have bothered you." Edward told him quickly.

"Wait." Mikah requested, and Edward paused, glancing back, "Just.. Wait a second."

I shoved myself out of Edward's arms. I landed silently on my feet, and he only then seemed to notice that I was barefoot.

Mikah seemed to have shaken off his surprise at my sudden appearance, kneeling down as I hesitantly approached. I was nervous, but oddly, not about killing him. I stayed directly on the shadow side of the porch light. It was pitch dark over here, enough to hide most of my features.

He smiled a little, holding out his hand in greeting.

"Well," He said, "It's nice to meet you, Leandra." I looked down at his hand, and actually considered it for a moment. It made me very sad to see him like this. He'd always been the one I would run to to make everything make sense again. Even though he had no idea what was going on, I still found I trusted him.

He continued to hold his hand out, and hesitantly, I let myself breathe in again. The scent so close to me put me on edge, but the trust I had in him made it impossible to hurt him.

I wasn't sure why I did it, but I carefully squatted down. My knees in front of me, my hands rested on my knees. Balled up like this, I was hoping to seem like less of a threat. Despite the fact that he obviously didn't see me as a threat.

He tried hard to study me, growing more curious by the second. I could feel Edward's tension behind me, but he had a direct line to my thoughts. He could see that I would rather die than hurt him. I wouldn't have called it self-control, but more of an instinct to protect, and not hurt this human in front of me.

Even now I had a connection to Mikah that nobody else would ever understand. It was proving itself right then.

"It's okay." Mikah smiled a little, and I couldn't help smiling a little as well. I'd run this far just to hear those words, and he had no idea what that meant to me. He offered his hand again, closer now and I raised one of my hands. Hesitantly, almost fearfully, reaching out to his.

"Leandra." Edward was trying to talk me out of it, but I carefully touched just one of my fingers against the palm of his hand. The temperature difference startled him, making him jump, which startled me, and I quickly drew my hand back. Truthfully, his temperature startled me as well. It was much hotter than I'd anticipated.

"You're so cold." He told me, obviously concerned, and I hid my mouth against my knees. I felt bad for startling him, as that hadn't been my intention at all.

He looked passed me to Edward standing there tensely, "Does she speak?"

I realized then that I had yet to actually say anything to him. I considered speaking, until I heard Esme approaching fast, Jasper and Emmett right with her.

With one more look in his steel gray eyes, I stood up and walked away. He turned, watching after me.

"Right." Edward said again, and the first step he took, I started running.

We'd made it quite a distance, but I wasn't distracted anymore from the burn, and I wanted to get away from Mikah, so I ran back the other direction. Leaving the city within seconds and heading back toward home. I heard them following me, when Esme suddenly called to me.

"Leandra." The tone of her voice was a very firm one, commanding my attention without raising her voice a single octave, "Stop running. Right now." It was so different from any tone she'd used so far.

Making no conscious decision to do so, I stopped. Turning to look back at her. The fact that it took a few seconds for them to reach me told me how far behind they were.

It made me edgy, though, how Jasper and Emmett both stopped behind me. Blocking any chance of advance. Alice and Rose were to my left. Edward stood between Esme in front of me and Carlisle to my right. Creating a sort of tight circle around me.

"Now that," Emmett spoke up, "Is a mom voice." I turned around to look at him, Jasper next. I didn't like being surrounded. I might have been fast, but I honestly doubted my physical strength. I didn't trust my strength. Emmett smiled, probably trying to calm me down.

This was pretty much their first clear look at me since I woke up. For me as well. I'd been too busy running from them this whole time to really look at them. It was unsettling and interesting, getting to know their scents and faces at the same time.

I honestly wasn't sure how to describe the way I felt. Curious, cautious, wary and nervous. Slightly cornered, but they were far enough away that it wasn't too bad.

"She's so cute." Emmett joked, "Can we keep her?"

"Now is not the time to joke, Emmett." Edward scolded quietly, and I turned back around to look at him. Any move or sound anyone made captured my attention.

"So what do we do with her?" Rose asked, slightly bored.

"We'll have to train her, obviously." Jasper sighed, "Carlisle, I hope you know what you were getting us into. I've never handled a newborn this young."

"How hard could it be?" Emmett asked.

"She's been awake twenty minutes and we've nearly lost her already." Alice pointed out, "We're really lucky she hasn't hunted yet."

"She was distracted." Edward murmured.

"A shorty on a mission." Emmett commented, "Who knew it'd be about a boy?"

"I admit, it was interesting." Edward frowned now in thought, "She wasn't tempted to kill him once."

"The way she used to talk about him," Alice replied, "She has a tie to him."

"She interacted with him?" Esme asked, surprised.

"Did he suspect anything?" Carlisle asked next.

"No." Edward replied, "He thought she was a little odd, but he never got suspicious. If anything, he was intrigued by her."

"And she was never tempted to bite?" Jasper asked, puzzled as well.

"A fleeting thought, perhaps, but no. Never tempted." Edward answered quietly.

"How are we supposed to train her if she won't listen to us?" Rose asked, shaking her head, "It's too dangerous."

"She'll learn." Jasper assured her, nodding, "For now, it seems she listens to Esme." He looked to her, "I understand it might be a bit difficult, but you have to be firm with her. If you're the only one she'll listen to, it's up to you to control her until she listens to all of us."

"That could have just been a fluke." Rose sighed, "I don't trust her."

"I do." Esme finally spoke up for me, "Newborn or not, she's a child. Children crave boundaries and guidance. Especially when they're scared." It was a test, I'm sure it was, but as I watched her, she offered her hand for me to take. I hesitated a moment, knowing everyone was watching me.

I couldn't help it, though. The offer was just too tempting. Stepping forward, I took her offered hand slowly.

"I really don't know about this, Carlisle." Rosalie murmured, "Have you forgotten what happened to the Denalis?"

"She can be taught." Carlisle replied thoughtfully, "This is an entirely different situation."

"Besides," Emmett spoke up, "Would rather have just let her die?"

"It would have been more merciful to have let her go." Rosalie replied softly, "This is something I would never wish on my worst enemy, much less a child. Who is now _stuck_ like this. Can't you see? It got better for me because I found my mate, but because nobody thought ahead, she's now forced to live her life alone. There's more to the rule about turning children than their ability to learn. They don't grow. It's cruel."

"She won't be alone." Emmett pointed out quietly, "She'll have us."

"You know that's not what I mean." She countered, "She'll never get to experience anything other than _this_. She'll have nothing to live for. She'll have nothing to look forward to besides the burn. It's our mates that make this life worth living, isn't it? She'll never have that."

"Though I do think you have a point, Rose," Edward said, "Her mind is different. I can tell you that something like finding a mate will never be important to her. Because she never reached puberty, she'll never develop much of an interest in the opposite gender."

"Then explain Mikah?" Emmett frowned.

"She sees him as her support." Edward replied, "He meant more to her than you'll ever know. She's always seen him as perhaps a best friend, or an older brother she cared deeply for and admired. It's a bit complex, the bond they had. He understands her in a way none of us were ever able to. That support was something intense, and irresistible to a frightened newborn with memories of a vision she once had."

"Okay." Rose murmured after a moment, and I knew he'd eased one of her worries.

Edward nodded, "All that matters to her right now is, as Esme pointed out, guidance and boundaries. She wants the protection of a coven, because she doubts her own strength. It's quite fascinating how different her thought processes and instincts are compared to a physically older and more mentally developed newborn."

"Then why did she run before?" Emmett asked.

"Because the tone of our voices left it an option." Edward replied, "Which is why Esme's tone reached her just now when nobody else's did. Because she craves the protection and guidance, she was waiting for a reason to stop."

"Reason?" Emmett chuckled.

"Have you forgotten what being a newborn is like?" Edward asked him in return.

I turned a bit to look behind me, something having caught my attention. The winds had shifted, bringing a scent straight for me.

"She doubts her own strength?" Emmett scoffed, obviously doubting.

"Physically," Edward replied, "She's smaller. That affects how strong someone is as a newborn."

"That is true." Jasper piped up, "She may be faster, but she can't be much stronger than you, Emmett."

"Why hasn't she spoken yet?" Alice asked, curious.

"She's still quite overwhelmed." Edward answered, "The only one she's been tempted to speak to is Mikah, and even then, she never said a word." He paused for a moment, "My only concern, is that a firm tone won't work when it comes to the hunting instinct-"

I took off before he could finish that. Running right for the new scent and the sound of the strong heartbeat toward the south. Breaking right through the space between Emmett and Jasper before they were prepared. I had no idea what a human was doing out this far this late at night, but I really didn't stop to think about it, either.

"Like that?" Emmett called as they all followed me.

"Exactly like that." Edward answered, struggling to keep up with me.

"Leandra," Esme tried anyway, "Stop!" I did what I could to ignore it, but to their surprise, I did. Sliding a bit, my bare feet digging into the solid grass under me with a frustrated growl from me. Another, smaller circle was formed around me a split second before I was physically restrained from behind. Solid stone arms braced themselves around me, pinning my arms to my sides and lifting me off my feet in an odd sort of bear hug.

I wasn't even expecting the sound that came out of me as I suddenly thrashed. He squeezed tighter in response, grunting with the effort to hold me.

"Damn." He laughed, the sound strained over the sound of my snarls, "She's an animal, but I think you're right about the whole strength thing. Settle down, shorty. You're okay."

I was definitely not settling down. When I couldn't get free, I cried. It was a single, wailing cry of irritation and slight fear at being stuck somewhere I couldn't get out of. An instinct buried in me by my final few days as a human. When I couldn't get away, I couldn't help the cry that escaped.

To my intense surprise, though, it worked. Emmett instantly let me fall to my feet. The second my bare feet touched the ground, I shoved Emmett back and I took off again.

"Why'd you let her go?" Jasper demanded as they followed.

"I don't know." Emmett replied defensively, "I thought I was hurting her."

"She's a newborn." Jasper pointed out, "You would have to use a lot more force than that to hurt her."

"Leandra." Esme called ahead, but this time, I wasn't listening. I had to keep going. There was no longer a choice in it.

I pounced hard on the human, taking the poor guy down with unnecessary force. He didn't even have enough time to inhale in surprise before I'd ripped his throat out in my haste. I was admittedly angry. Viciously biting into his neck in a spot I hadn't destroyed yet. Sealing my teeth over the wounds.

There was blood everywhere. My goal was to feed, not to be neat about it.

I could hear them approach, grabbing onto the body with every bit of strength I had in case they tried to take him away from me.

"So.." Rosalie sighed from where she and the others stopped, "Do you see my point yet?"

"Alright, shorty." Emmett sighed, stepping forward. My eyes were right on him, but he ignored Jasper's attempts to stop him.

"Emmett." Esme murmured, "Don't go any closer."

"Bad shorty." Emmett scolded me, "Drop him." Was he trying to make a point? Now really wasn't the time.

The sound of my sharp inhaling hiss rattled a bit around the blood I drew from the body beneath me, but he just kept coming. He leaned over, reached for the body, trying to pull it away from me without getting bitten, but I just held on. Being tugged across the ground with it. Growling at each tug.

He tried picking the body up, but again, I just held on. Digging my fingers into the clothing still attached, clinging to it. He shook the body a little, but I didn't budge.

"Once they're feeding," Jasper spoke up, "It's best to leave them, Emmett."

"Nah." Emmett replied, "If she hasn't attacked me yet, she's not going to. I mean, look at this." He turned around, holding the body up by the arm as I clung onto it.

I could tell that I'd nearly drained this guy, and that worried me. I wasn't done.

"Put it down." Alice rolled her eyes. Emmett did the stupidest thing he ever possibly could, reaching for me now instead of the body.

I snapped without thinking, biting into his arm the first chance I got. His shout of pain, though, stopped me as I tried to jump back, but he caught an awkward hold of my neck in his hand.

Feeling that, though, I turned on him. I managed a second, more thorough bite on his shoulder before he brought his other arm down onto me full force, flattening me to the ground by the back of my neck, his knee landing on my lower back.

I grunted with the force, dazed for a moment. Until I looked over, seeing the others approach. I couldn't look up too effectively, so all I saw were shoes.

 **A/N: Well, that sucks, but.. It happened.  
First off, I'm so sorry this is so late. I had to use my phone to get this out, as we still don't have net here. Tomorrow, for sure. RL is still really hectic and busy as we settle into a new routine, but it's slowing down. I'll also admit that I've been very, very tired. Mentally and physically drained, but I think I just need a day or two to recoup. I hope to find somewhat of a normal groove here soon.  
Second, THANK YOU! To my reviewers and supporters of last chapter! You guys are AMAZING! Seriously. HUGE THANK YOU!  
As for Ten, I'm really hoping to get that out to you guys soon. As soon as I possibly can.  
Until Ten, my beautiful readers! (:**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

I writhed and twisted, nearly pulling myself free as Emmett pinned me more firmly, kneeling on the center of my upper back. The weight I felt on my back only panicked me more. I fought harder, only resulting in another, harder pin, which wasn't working for me. Yet again, I cried. Digging my hands into the solid ground under me trying to get free.

"Don't budge, Emmett." Jasper told him, "You're not hurting her. She's just angry that she can't get away." I wasn't sure Emmett was even considering it, anyway. He seemed a little distracted by inspecting his wounds. From what I could tell in my own distraction, he'd gotten very lucky. I had a feeling it was mostly because I had let go before I jumped back.

I hissed a deep breath in through tightly clenched teeth as Jasper crouched down beside me, watching me as if he was studying me. I wasn't even sure I should have bothered. I could hardly move my head, much less do anything to protect myself if I had to.

I wasn't only angry, though. I was scared. I'd hurt someone, and even worse, I couldn't run. I had no hope of defending myself if it came down to it.

"Rose." Jasper spoke quietly, but firmly. He didn't say anything else, but I had a feeling that was more for my benefit. I turned my head sharply, trying to look back, but I couldn't.

"I'm fine." Emmett assured the others, probably mostly Rosalie, "It's just a scratch." I couldn't really see exactly where the others were, but I knew they were grouped together by their scents. The only ones beside me were Jasper and Edward just behind him.

I refused to relax, however. Staying tense, as that was one lesson I'd learned the hard way. One of the last hard lessons I'd learned as a human. Despite nothing happening after a minute of stillness, I chose to expect the worst.

"Calm down." Jasper told me gently, and I looked away, glaring ahead, "Can we talk?" I ignored him, choosing instead to writhe, nearly lifting Emmett as I attempted to push myself up. Emmett just braced himself against a tree beside us, countering each of my other attempts. I couldn't reach that tree, otherwise I would have tried to use it as leverage, but in the position I was in, I had none.

After a moment of watching my efforts, Jasper sighed, "Nobody is angry with you."

Rosalie scoffed, a tension in the sound that told me she disagreed, and I hissed in response.

"Babe," Emmett murmured, "Don't. It was my fault. Not hers."

Despite that, though, I fought again. By now, I had wriggled enough to loosen the tightly packed earth beneath me, so I tried to use that as an escape route. Of course it didn't work, but it was worth a try. All that resulted was Emmett pinning the back of my neck firmly with his hand, keeping me still yet again.

After another moment, I gave up. What good would it do? I was heavily outnumbered. Even if I got free, I had no hope of getting away. At least not for long. They'd follow me anywhere I went. I had no choice but to try to believe Jasper's assurances that nobody aside from Rose was mad at me, but that didn't mean I'd be happy about it.

Feeling my resistance fall away, Emmett sighed in relief above me. As if he'd actually been worried that I'd somehow get away. Before I could focus on what that meant, my attention was taken again by Jasper.

"I understand you better than you think, Leandra." He spoke slower now, probably to ensure I listened to him.

Right. I didn't even understand myself. How was he supposed to understand me? I had all these memories in my head that didn't feel like my own anymore. The emotions tied to those memories that were driving my actions now. My fingers continued to dig into the earth, but once again, it was only an effort to ground myself. Like I did with the sheets before.

I wasn't sure why, but the repetitive motion still comforted me. I wasn't trying to get away this time. I was only trying to feel something besides the ape sitting on me. As fast as I was, I wasn't nearly as strong. If I'd been just a little bit bigger, I could buck him off no problem, but this was all I had to work with, and that only made me more defensive.

"You cannot lose control of yourself like that." Jasper went on, and I made no move to acknowledge him. Not even a blink in his direction, "If this is going to work, we need to trust that you'll listen to what we say. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

There was another meaning behind that question, and I knew immediately why he was asking. He wanted confirmation from me that I could be taught. I could. I was just hurting. Not physically. Not really. Emmett wasn't hurting me. It wasn't exactly comfortable, but I wasn't in any real pain.

I was hurting mentally and emotionally. Jasper wanted to know if I was capable of being rational. Controlling my basic instincts long enough to pay attention. To be guided.

Finally, I looked back over at him.

"Do you?" He asked again, and hesitantly, I nodded. He sighed a little, "Can you talk to me?" I shook my head in answer. I wasn't up to talking just yet.

"She isn't comfortable speaking to us yet." Edward translated quietly from where he stood.

"Why not?" Emmett asked, a frown in his tone.

"That's fine." Jasper spoke instead, "She doesn't need to."

Emmett's frown was still evident, "I don't get it-"

"Patience." Esme reminded him, which shut him up.

"Leandra," Jasper ignored them, "How much do you remember?" Emotion flared up at just the mention of the memories I had stored in my head, and I sharply looked away again. The sudden, violent wave of anger ebbed, revealing the sadness, fear and pain underneath it. The wounds were still fresh.

He sighed, "I was afraid of this." He stayed silent for a moment before he spoke to me again, "I'm willing to work with you if you're willing to work with me, but for this to work, I need you to trust me. Can you do that?" I shook my head bitterly. To be honest, I didn't want to be around anyone. I didn't want to trust anyone.

I just wanted to run and never stop. I didn't want to be pinned. I wanted to belong to myself. I didn't want it be emphasized how weak I _still_ was. I wanted time to come to terms with what all I had to work with. I wanted to learn how to rely on myself in other ways. I wanted time to just _be_. To calm down without being chased or cornered or restrained. I wanted to be okay.

"Alright," He murmured, "You won't trust me, but can I trust you? Can I rely on you to give me a bit of effort?"

I didn't answer this time, choosing only to lay my head down. More silence followed as he obviously waited for my answer. I wasn't willing to answer that just yet. I didn't want to agree to anything without having a chance to know myself yet.

"Emmett," Edward murmured, "Let her go." Jasper glanced over at him.

"Are you sure-"

"Let her go." Jasper nodded, standing up.

"I really don't think that's a good idea." Emmett replied, but it had gotten my attention. Was he really thinking this was smart?

"If we want her cooperation," Edward told him slowly but patiently, "Then we need to extend a bit of respect." Once again, I deeply appreciated Edward's ability.

"Why?" Rosalie barked, "Have you lost your mind?" I was getting tired of her mouth, and I vowed to myself that the next slip up I had would be at her.

"Rosalie," Carlisle finally spoke up, "Please let them handle this." I appreciated his correction. It meant she was in the wrong. Not me.

"Please don't bite me again, shorty." Emmett chuckled nervously, "You hurt." He wasn't requesting a response, so I didn't provide one. I tensed in anticipation, though. Lifting my head back up as soon as he released my neck.

Slowly, I felt the pressure easing as Emmett stood up off of me. Once he was up, I carefully pushed myself up into a crouching position. It wasn't an offensive position, but defensive. As much as I knew he probably wanted to, he didn't move away. Probably in case Jasper still needed him, but I wasn't out to hurt anyone anymore. Not unless I had to.

It was the weirdest feeling. Emotionally, I was somewhere between very angry and very depressed. Like I wanted to tear the nearest person apart, but I also wanted to cry while I did it, and while they both warred with each other, I was almost numb. I carried a lot of pain with me, and it had a good hold on me. Tighter than Emmett was capable of, and impossible for me fight.

"Stand up." Jasper told me, and I hesitated, but slowly did as he said. He seemed surprised I did as he asked, but only for a split second before he spoke again, "I know it's hard, but I need you to listen to what I'm telling you."

I glanced over as Esme came closer to my side. Apparently, she'd been the closest the whole time, but in a spot I couldn't see. Looking up at her. Having her near me made me feel just a little bit better.

Jasper spoke again, "The circumstances behind your death were unfortunate," My jaw set at the reminder, "But it does not define who you are. I know you are capable of listening and learning. I'll be the first to admit that I don't have any experience working with a newborn so young, but again. I'm willing to try if you are."

I looked down for a moment before looking up at Esme beside me. She offered me a small smile, telling me that she'd be there, so I took a breath and nodded. Oddly, I was willing to try if she would be here with me.

So far, she was the only one that hadn't treated me like the threat I knew I was. She'd been the one out to comfort me, instead of confine me.

"The first thing I need you to understand is that you're safe with us." Jasper said, "You're reluctant to trust, and that's okay, but I just need you to believe that you're safe. We'll start there." I didn't nod or shake my head, just watching him, "I'm letting you know right now that there will be times when you'll need to be physically restrained. Either for your own safety, or ours. I know that will bother you, but we can avoid that if you listen to me when I tell you to do something. I'm willing to guide you and teach you without the need for physical correction, but I need you to believe that I'll never tell you to do something unless I believe it's in your best interest. Do you understand?"

If I just listened to him and did what he said, they wouldn't have to pin me anymore. I nodded.

"Good." He sighed, "The most crucial lesson I can teach you is to control that instinct to hunt humans. It'll keep you out of trouble, and make you more manageable." I glanced over at the blood-stained spot the body had been, "You just need to learn to hunt the right kind of animal. If you can do that, you can hunt any time you feel the need to."

That did sound like a good thing, and definitely caught my interest.

"You're going through a lot." He murmured and I looked back up, "It's hard. I know. Just be patient with yourself, and all I ask is for you to be patient with us as we learn about you."

I liked that bit of advice. He wasn't mad that I was overwhelmed. He knew I was. He didn't even seem that mad that I'd slipped up. He was just telling me that it was wrong to do it.

Hesitantly, I nodded again. The truth was, if I put just a little bit of effort into remembering, I could easily remember what I'd had a chance to learn before. To resist humans. I hadn't had a whole lot of practice with it yet, but I knew the basics. If I could just swallow back the fire long enough to keep my concentration, I knew I could do it. That was probably how I didn't hurt Mikah, even if it was instinct not to hurt him.

By being turned, I learned first hand just how much information the normal human brain could store without even knowing it. The tiniest details of every waking moment of every day, sorted away between the relevant and the irrelevant to be kept or forgotten later. That was what sleeping was for.

I had three sets of those memories of those details that I'd kept, and there was no difference between the relevant or irrelevant. It was all relevant to me. Every single detail mattered to me, and I'd died proving that.

I hated the reminder my mind so graciously gave me, burning me for following a single train of thought. I growled to myself, turning away from Jasper swiftly. I honestly wasn't mad at him. I wasn't mad at anyone. I was only defensive in general. That's what he wasn't understanding.

I looked up to find that the others had moved to block my way that direction too. The truth was I probably wouldn't have gone as far as I did when I woke up had they not chased me. All I wanted was to be safe again. It was more basic of an instinct than hunting.

Not a single one of them understood what it was like to not have that confidence in their own strength. From the start, I knew I didn't have much of a fighting chance against Emmett. The others, maybe, but I would probably get hurt trying, despite the fact that all of them seemed nervous as well.

Something was nagging at me, though. It felt wrong. I was having a hard time with this, and they knew that. Only giving me more of a sense of vulnerability. Like they knew my weakness.

The only one in that group not looking at me was Carlisle. It made me feel a little better, but really curious at the same time. I couldn't read his expression, despite my effort.

"Leandra." Jasper took my attention again, and I looked back over at him, "Are we agreed?" I looked down in thought for a moment. Once again, I was hesitant to agree to anything before I could really know myself. That mattered to me.

"Close enough." Emmett spoke from the side, "Can we wrap this up?"

It took me awhile, but finally managed to fully bring myself around to the idea of hunting animals instead of humans. As much as the taste differed, it was worth it when nobody tried to stop me or correct me.

I was herded back home once I was ready, and it didn't take me very long to remember how much this house meant to me. I returned to my room, and oddly, I just wanted to rest. Physically, I wasn't tired, of course, but being in here eased my mind in a more natural way. Without Jasper's help. Mentally, I was already exhausted. Emotionally, I was a mess.

Thankfully, it was allowed to hide away. With no intention to run or escape, I could be in here all I wanted. This was my space, despite what happened in this room, it was mine. It kept me out of trouble, and in one spot so I was easier to control. I could hear them talking about me in the next room, but I didn't pay any attention to that. I didn't care.

I really wasn't sure any more why I hadn't spoken, but really thinking about it, it didn't seem that strange to me. Talking was a form of opening up, but opening up just led to pain and confusion. So I sat silently in the corner, watching them remove what was left of the bed. They left me alone after that. For some reason, though, they decided to leave the lamp on. I didn't like that, so I picked up the nearest throwable object, and threw it straight at the lamp.

Bathing the room in darkness as the lamp exploded.

I could feel it, though. The longer I sat there thinking about it, the more I felt myself drawing in. Bitterness held me tight, and fear of everything covered me. No matter how hard I tried, and no matter how strong I was physically, those memories hurt me.

Those last days. The last part of that vision, to waking up. The memories seamless, blending easily with each other. Despite being in pain the entire trip, that small bit of hope that I might have started to mean something to Jack. Only to be proven so wrong.

I dwelled. I replayed my last night human over and over, and I found that I knew exactly where I went wrong to end up here, but even if I had taken Edward's advice, it would have only ended up the same way. It only would have prolonged the inevitable, drawing it out and causing stress along the way.

The more agitated I got, the less I moved. Until all I moved was my fingers, gently scraping over the skin of my knee. I was confused. I couldn't exactly understand why I was even here. Why was I even brought back?

I recalled what I'd heard while still out of it. Carlisle couldn't let it happen like that, but why? Everything that had happened was my fault. By choosing to stick it out, I'd chosen that outcome. Being turned had never even crossed my mind, so in a way, I never chose this. I'd accepted the fact that I would die, so I was still a bit confused as to why Carlisle would ever feel the need to turn me.

It just didn't make any sense to me. None, whatsoever. Carlisle had yet to speak directly to me, and I couldn't help thinking about that a little more. Was he disappointed in the way I turned out? It wouldn't be the first time someone regretted keeping me around, and it certainly wouldn't be the first time someone hated me just for existing. That, I knew. I was used to that.

After a few hours sitting on my own, I couldn't help growling a little when I heard someone approach my room. I knew by the scent coming closer that it was Carlisle, and I really didn't want to face whatever it was he had to say. By now, I'd convinced myself that he _was_ disappointed in whatever I was, and that he regretted his decision to save me.

It almost worked, my small growl of warning nearly making Carlisle change his mind about approaching me, until I heard Jasper behind him.

"Go ahead." He said, "This is important. I know you don't want to press her, but she needs to respect you as the leader. To do that, she needs to learn to trust you. The sooner this happens, the better in the long run."

Well, that would take a bit if he was in here to tell me to act better.

After a moment or two, the door opened. Letting in the light from the hallway. I didn't growl again, but I watched Carlisle's hesitant approach. To my surprise, Jasper stayed back. As soon as Carlisle met my eyes, I looked away. I really wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel. Especially with Jasper changing my mood around on me.

Quietly, Carlisle sighed, so I looked back up at him. Watching him closely as he approached and slowly crouched in front of me.

I'd always been pretty good at reading the expression in people's eyes. Now was no exception. His gaze held remorse. It struck me, as it confirmed everything I suspected, but out of curiosity, I would listen to what he had to say.

"Leandra," He started, "I'm sorry. I know how confusing this must be for you, and this can't be easy, but I know with enough time, you can adjust." I knew he was hoping for a response, but I didn't say anything.

"I know you're confused." He repeated in my silence, "I had a very short time to make a decision, and I admit, I let my emotions make that decision for me. After.. Everything you'd endured, it felt like a crime to let it end that way for you. It would have been unforgivable not to do everything in my power to save you."

That sort of made sense.

I noticed, however, that I was starting to feel rational again, and to me, that meant compliance. I didn't like that, so I turned my eyes onto Jasper and glared. I fought it. I might not have been very strong physically, but I liked to think I was pretty strong emotionally. I was so tired of being manipulated, and that was exactly what Jasper kept trying to do. I just wanted to have control over myself, which included my emotions.

"Leandra." My name was a warning again, this time straight out of Jasper's mouth. The sound of it in that tone, with that slight raise in tone, echoed through my mind. Blending almost seamlessly with Ken's voice. Just that reminder was enough to raise my defenses as high as they would go. Especially as the memory of what happened after hearing that crawled painfully through my mind.

I refused to just sit back this time and let all that happen again. I was on my feet in a second. Every ounce of anger I had in my small body was now directed straight at him, and I had a lot built up.

To say he was surprised by my reaction seemed to be an understatement. He really wasn't expecting me to respond like this, but it was perfectly justified. I would _never_ go through any of that again. Never.

Even if it was stupid to think that way, the sound of my name spoken like that triggered something in my mind, and removed any rational thought. Replacing it with defense and the instinct to protect myself.

"Leandra?" Carlisle's questioning tone was more acceptable, but that didn't make me like Jasper any more. I didn't even notice the sound I made until Emmett showed up. Carlisle stood up.

"Leandra," Carlisle tried again, "What is it?"

"The one time Eddy shouldn't have left." Emmett grumbled, watching me closely.

"It's okay." Jasper spoke up, but it was to them. Not to me. It was far from okay, though. He spoke again, "She's just afraid."

He wasn't totally wrong. I was afraid, but that wasn't all I was. I would protect myself. When Emmett moved to walk in, before Jasper could stop him, I rounded for the window. I knew I had no chance against him, so my next option was to run.

I made it half-way out of it before my ankle was caught. The first tug I felt, I rounded back with teeth bared.

My ankle was released, but the rest of me was caught and restrained. In a hug, of all things. It would have been a better idea to have restrained me facing away, as I could have really bitten him with every bit of strength I had, but the fact that it was Carlisle that hugged me, all I did was fight.

I twisted, jerking myself side ways just right and freeing myself with a timed shove against his face. Kicking at the same time, I moved him away from me several steps. Taking one step once I hit the floor, I made it back out the window. Darting away at the first sign I was about to be chased.

"No." Carlisle's voice behind me had me listening, "Don't chase her this time. We'll try again when she comes back."

I felt better in knowing he was okay. I hadn't hurt him, and he wasn't mad. Because of his words, however, I didn't go very far. Just like I'd suspected before. Without being chased, I stuck around.

I stopped just inside the trees, slowing significantly when I noticed I wasn't being followed. I just needed a moment to catch my breath, so to speak. I needed to calm down, but the anger fought harder against the fear, and I really didn't know which way to feel. I was overwhelmed with no real way to get rid of all I felt.

Had I been human, I would have been sobbing uncontrollably, but that person was long gone. Replaced instead by this. Though I did sob, it did nothing to ease the tearing pain inside me.

With a choked, tearless sob, I crouched. Hiding my face against my knees in an attempt to slow my racing my mind. In a way, it seemed to work. I stayed crouched, motionless in my spot and holding my breath until I was sure I could let out that breath without screaming.

That time did come. Listening to the quiet, hushed voices inside debating with each other about coming out to try to talk to me. The arguing and reasons of both for and against the idea, and I focused on them instead of my own thoughts. Finding myself hoping that the against reasons won.

I wasn't sure if they thought I'd come back or not, because they stayed edgy the whole time I was gone, but eventually, I did come back. Once I was sure it was safe, after only a few minutes really, and once I knew my room was empty, I came back inside. Ducking right back in through the window.

It confused me to realize that Carlisle was trying to figure me out in a different way than everyone else was. It had been a huge risk for him to let me go without anyone following me, but it had been the right one.

Though by now I did feel bad for how I acted, I wasn't sorry for it. None of them knew what it was like. Edward was able to see my thoughts, and Jasper could feel my emotions, but both of those things were so much worse combined. They didn't understand the full impact of the cycle that both my thoughts and memories put me through. Neither of them got the full story.

I settled back into my corner, knowing full well that they weren't done pressing me. Because of his decision earlier, though, I was more willing to give Carlisle a chance. That willingness just got a little stronger as he decided to send Esme in to talk to me first.

I knew she was coming, and I eased just a bit out of my protective ball. I watched her approach through the open door of my bedroom, and that was acceptable to me because she was alone.

Gently, she settled on the floor beside me, and for the first time, I studied her. It was strange just how much the human eye didn't see. So many things the human eye just overlooked in its hurry to process all the information it was getting. Now, I could really see her, and that was even more comforting to me.

"Honey," She spoke gently too, "I'm just going to say this. You are unbelievably brave." I looked down. I really didn't feel that brave, "So strong. I know you doubt yourself, but really. You shouldn't. Please believe me."

I had a feeling she was pressing lightly for a response, but I just couldn't give her one. What was I supposed to say to someone who thought so highly of me, when I knew different? I knew that though most people were made new again by being turned, I was still just as damaged as I was before. I hadn't been fixed.

The smallest, quietest whimper left me before I could stop it, but I knew that by hearing that, she was let in on just a bit of the anguish I carried in me. Trapped in this flawless stone shell.

I knew she heard it, because she reached over to embrace me. I accepted that, even moving closer to the comforting hug she offered, but it didn't last long, because the others had heard it too, as they started our direction. Jasper leading the way.

"It's alright." Esme assured me as soon as I tensed to move away. I glanced over at her, "It's alright, sweetheart." I trusted her, so as long as she stayed, I'd stay.

Jasper rounded the doorway first, much too quickly for my taste. I growled quietly, warning him against his pace. Though he didn't seem intimidated in the least, he did stop. Along with the others behind him.

Everyone except for Carlisle. Though I did focus on him, I also kept my attention on Jasper. At least until Carlisle spoke.

"I understand." He told me, taking my full attention as I looked up at him, "I know you're afraid, Leandra, but I promise you don't have to be. You're safe here."

I'd been told that before, and then, it had been just words, but hearing Carlisle say that in the way he did made it easier to believe. It meant more to me than just some words that were said in an attempt to calm me down. He wasn't trying to calm me down. That was the difference. I believed him, and I left it at that. I was satisfied with that.

All I really knew was that the others continued to watch me like I was the one that I was the threat. I looked passed Carlisle at the others, standing up.

The way I watched them was different this time, though. I watched Emmett and he watched me while I slowly started to calm down. My breathing slowed, the anger in my eyes eased. Esme stood up beside me, and it started to make sense. I started thinking with a different part of my mind, which hadn't happened yet. One question begged to be answered.

Why couldn't I trust them?

The entire reason I'd gone through everything I'd gone through was for them. I'd died for them. Called forward, the memories of the vision crawled through my head again, and I looked closer at them.

Every little thing, every moment I'd spent with them, it made sense again to trust them. Especially Carlisle. I'd been through hell and back, over and over, but never at Carlisle's hands. He was the one that always had to try the hardest to earn and keep my trust, but he always did it.

I knew, and that was the hardest thing to face. I knew Jasper was only trying to help. He was only trying to help me adjust to this life, but I just didn't know why that made me so mad. Maybe it was because I needed to belong to myself, emotions included, and he was trying to take that from me.

Seeing the difference in me, I could easily tell the others were easing as well.

"What was all that about, shorty?" Emmett asked, receiving only silence in response. I glanced up at Carlisle before I looked back down. Where would I even begin? It was hard, because not only did I not know how to explain, I also wasn't sure if I wanted to.

But he wasn't looking for an explanation. He only wanted to know what had set me off.

Obviously tired of the silent treatment, though, he spoke sarcastically, "Whoa, don't talk so fast."

As soon as I let slip a small smile, Jasper looked over at him. Taking his arm, he led him out into the hall. I took a small step, coming to Carlisle's side as I turned back toward my corner. I looked up at him briefly.

"It was my name." I mumbled almost silently as I slowly lowered back into my crouch in the corner. My own voice bothered me to hear. it was smaller, but sweeter and clearer than I ever remembered hearing it before. It really made me sound younger than I was, which irritated me.

"What do you mean?" Carlisle asked, carefully crouching in front of me.

"The way Jasper said my name before." I clarified, "Tell him not to do that again, please."

"Okay." He agreed easily.

"I'm not mad at you." I told him quietly, "I'm not mad at anybody. I'm just mad."

"I understand." He replied, "All of this is new to you. I can easily understand how overwhelming this can be for a child." I nodded a little.

"Jasper thinks he's helping." I went on, "But I don't like it. I would listen easier if he wasn't so pushy. I'm sorry I ran away at first, but I was scared. I just wanted to get away from everything. I just wanted to run, and run, and never stop." My voice quieted even more, "I just wanted to see him. Mikah. He meant a lot to me before. All I wanted was to see him. I just wanted to see that he was okay."

"Why?" Carlisle asked, slightly concerned.

"Because." I mumbled, "As long as he's okay, I'm okay. It's always been that way."

"I think we might have underestimated her tie to him." Alice murmured, her gaze on Carlisle, and I fell silent, looking down. Especially as Jasper led Emmett back into the room.

"Leandra," Jasper spoke, "I'm sorry, but I have no choice but to be 'pushy'. I refuse to wind up like the Denalis. You will be controlled."

"You can at least lighten up." Emmett grumbled by the door.

"I can't afford to be lenient on her purely because of her size, Emmett." Jasper countered, looking back at him, "She's fed, and that's a problem."

"I can hold her if I have to." Emmett argued, "How is it a problem?"

"It's going to make it that much harder to train her to hunt animals." He replied, "It's not a problem right now, but when she's desperate, it's going to be harder. Besides the fact that she can easily hurt any of us."

"Train her." Emmett scoffed, "She's not a pony. Let me be in charge of her, then. Let me be the one to _teach_ her."

"Right." Jasper scoffed this time.

"I'll bet you a thousand bucks she turns out just fine." Emmett replied, "It's obvious she doesn't like you."

"Emmett, she isn't a toy." Jasper sighed back at him, "She isn't something fragile. She's wild and a danger to every single one of us. You're too tempted to go easy on her. I guarantee you would lose track of her within the first six hours."

I wished they wouldn't talk about me like I wasn't sitting here. Slightly annoyed, I looked over at Alice.

"Guys," She spoke up for me, "Come on."

I stopped listening then, choosing instead to listen to the sounds from outside. It was a calm night, but I somehow sensed that a lot of rain was on its way. Just by the smell coming in the window, and the sound of the slight breeze coming in from the west.

I focused on that, closing my eyes

Among the gentle breeze hitting the side of the house, I could hear something else. Something more, but it was very faint. It was a small, whispering voice. A few small, whispering voices. I couldn't hear what they were saying to each other, but it still captured my attention.

Slowly, I uncurled long enough to turn over.

"What is it?" Carlisle asked, watching as I peered out the window.

"Do you hear that?" I asked in my own whisper. I didn't want to speak too loudly, but I needed to know if they heard it too.

"I don't hear anything." He replied, coming over to look out the window as well. The others had stopped arguing, but the whispering voices had gone quiet, leaving only the breeze behind.

Maybe the others had just forgotten how to listen.

"What was it?" Alice asked me.

"I don't know." I replied quietly, "I heard it, but it stopped now." Oddly, I really wanted to find the source of the sound, but I knew I couldn't without absolutely everyone following me.

"Look at that, Mr. Tyrant." Emmett said, "You broke her."

"I'm not broken." I mumbled defensively, "I heard it."

It was a bit easier to open up after I remembered why I trusted them so much and started talking. I became a bit more manageable, and Jasper started to back off a little once I could effectively tell him where I was mentally. I was willing to listen to him if it meant nobody had to touch me.

I could tell them how tired I was, which my emotions somehow didn't convey. I just felt so run down. All I wanted was to just hunt and hide away.

Apparently, it was pretty unusual to be as tired as I was, but given how much I'd put my mind through the last several weeks, it made sense that I would need a minute or two to recover.

Honestly, though, I had no idea what to do with myself. I felt like I had no real purpose. All my hard work, so far, had paid off, but what was left for me now? I felt depressed. I was confused. Having been like this twice before, it was nothing like those times. Edward was right in saying that my thoughts were different. I could see the difference myself.

I passed several hours in my thoughts. After only a few hours of this life, I had a real problem to face.

"What's wrong, shorty?" Emmett asked, watching me just sit there. He had caught Jasper's attention as well, and Alice's beside him. All three of them had been tasked to watch me while Carlisle and Esme went to take care of something. I had a feeling I knew what that something was.

To the rest of the world, I was dead. I knew how this worked. There was paperwork that needed to be filled out. That paperwork would officially free me from my human life, which was really weird to think about. Like cutting the last tie to my old life. I was glad I didn't have to be a part of that.

"What do I do now?" I asked quietly, hesitantly lifting my head up to look over at him, "I'm out of stuff to do."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Well.." I mumbled, "I fixed what I had to fix. I guess I'm just used to having something I had to do. Now that I don't have that anymore, what do I do now?"

To my surprise, he laughed, "You're bored?"

"I'm not bored." I shook my head, "I just.. I don't know. That's not what I meant."

"I know what you mean." Alice offered quietly, and I sighed.

"Every other time I was turned before," I murmured, "It was for a reason. I don't have a reason now."

"How many times have you been turned?" Emmett asked incredulously, and I remembered that he hadn't been there for that little story.

"Twice." I answered, "Before this one."

"And you remember it?" I nodded, so he laughed, "Geez, that must suck."

"Not really." I muttered, stretching my legs out in front of me, "It helps me remember how to be careful. It's the other stuff I remember that sucks. I just want to forget all the other stuff."

"What all do you remember?" Alice asked, coming over. Somehow, this had been a question nobody had asked yet.

"Everything." I replied, "I mean, I know I was supposed to forget some things, but I didn't. I remember all of it. Everything I remembered when I was human, I still remember now. It's like it's all stuck, and I don't think I've stopped remembering yet."

"I'm so sorry." She told me sadly.

"The only thing I have a hard time remembering, is what it's like to die." I muttered, frowning a little in thought, "That part's hard to remember, because it just happened so fast. Like.. I was awake, then I was waking up."

"Nice subject." Emmett commented quietly.

"I don't care." I replied, "It doesn't bug me. I think the only things that would bug me are things that would remind me of Ken. Or Jack."

"What changed your mind, Leandra?" Alice asked gently.

"You don't know?" I asked, looking over at her, "You mean.. You really left that night?" Why did that relieve me?

"I'll admit I was a bit agitated." She answered apologetically, "So Edward offered to stay while we went to check Heather's status in the hospital."

Meaning, Edward had been there alone when he came in to talk to me. Nobody had sent him in. He had come in on his own.

"And he never told you?"

"He told us he'd be listening for you, but that's it."

"Better that way." I nodded a little, drawing my knees back up.

"Aw, man." Emmett growled, "Please don't tell me-"

"I don't want to talk anymore." I muttered, shutting him up and tensing visibly.

"Shorty-"

"Emmett." Alice murmured, "Don't push it. Let her come around in her own time." I appreciated that.

"Right." Emmett sighed, "Sorry, shorty. You're okay now. That's what matters." I nodded a little, falling quiet as I looked down. Nobody would ever hurt me again.

It was silent in the room now, so I took a deeper breath, calming my frazzled nerves a bit. Closing my eyes, and just listening. It felt nice to just empty my mind and listen to the breeze outside again.

However, in the silence, I clearly heard the whispering start up again outside. I didn't react this time, just listening to it. It was barely louder than the breeze, sort of mixed in with it. It easily could have been the sound of the breeze through the tops of the trees, but there was a distinct verbal tone to it.

Someone was outside.

Hesitantly, I moved. I turned over and peered out the window yet again. I knew all three of them were watching me, but that didn't matter much.

"I hear you." I couldn't help whispering. I didn't see anyone, but that didn't matter much.

"Hear who?" Emmett asked me.

"Shh." I told him, continuing to listen. The whispering had stopped, and I worried that Emmett had scared whatever it was away, until it started again. It was more than one voice, and they were talking to each other. How were they not hearing them?

Thankfully, Emmett stayed quiet, letting me continue to listen until the whispering faded away. I waited another few minutes, but didn't hear it come back.

"It's gone." I sighed, turning away from the window and sitting back down.

"What is it, shorty?" Emmett asked, and I looked over.

"I don't know." I replied, "I don't know how to explain it. It's talking, but I don't know what they're saying."

 **A/N: I know how long this took, and I'm sorry. :( And I DEEPLY apologize for how short this is. Moving sucks so bad, and not just because it's so tiring. I finally found some time to myself when I wasn't falling asleep standing up, and I literally spent like 20 minutes straight wandering from room to room, just trying to find a spot in this new house where I felt comfortable enough to sit and type. I guess I'm still waiting for that 'homey' feeling to kick in.  
ANYHOO! OMGTHEREVIEWS! You guys have no idea how glad I am that you're enjoying the story so far! Your reviews were like little rays of sunshine in my day. I know how sappy that is to admit, but they made me smile. (: THANK YOU to those kind enough to leave your thoughts! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!  
I'm really REALLY hoping that things will pick back up soon update wise. It felt so wrong not being able to release 10 before now. ):  
Eleven (hopefully) won't be far behind this one, but with how busy I've been, I won't make any promises. Unfortunately.  
Until Eleven, my beautiful readers! (:**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

"Okay," Emmett sighed, "Run that by me again?"

"I don't know." I repeated that for the thousandth time, "I already told you. It sounds like people talking, but really, _really_ quietly. I don't smell them, or see them. I just hear them."

"Them? As in, more than one?"

" _Yes_." I sighed, irritated, "You're starting to bug me."

Unfortunately, Carlisle and Esme still weren't back yet, but Rosalie was now sticking around. I wasn't sure if that was her own choice, or if she was only there because Emmett might have requested it, but part of me wished she'd just go back to doing whatever it was she usually did when she wasn't here.

"Sorry." Emmett replied, "But this is kind of important. If someone is out there, and we don't know it, well.. That gives them the advantage, doesn't it?" He had a point.

"They don't sound mean." I said, hoping that would ease him.

"Shorty, _you_ don't sound mean, but you are." Gah. He had another point.

"What worries me is the fact that she can hear these people talking, but we can't." Jasper frowned at the floor.

"Maybe she is actually crazy." Rosalie suggested, and I glared over at her.

"I don't think that can happen." Jasper replied dismissively.

"It could just be her ability." Alice suggested next, "She just needs to work on it. Until we know how turning her this young has affected it, we won't know what it does."

"Good point." Jasper nodded a little, and he sighed, "Until we see some evidence of any potential visitors ourselves, I don't think we should get too worked up about this. We've got enough to worry about, I think."

"Come on, shorty." Emmett said, and I looked over, "I'll take you for a hunt." I only realized then that it'd been awhile, and the reminder was a harsh one.

"Not alone." Jasper corrected lightly, and I looked to him next. I understood his reasoning. I was still a flight risk, even if I'd started thinking rationally, and it was now daytime.

"I think we should stay until Carlisle gets back." Rosalie murmured, and I whined, "The last thing we need is to leave this place unprotected right now."

Jasper sighed, "She's right."

"But you said I could hunt whenever I wanted to, as long as I didn't hunt humans." I reminded him, "Well, it's whenever I want to, and you're not letting me."

"Obviously, when I said that, I didn't think there would be an issue." He countered, still in thought.

"Well, you should have thought." I growled, "Because this sucks. You can't just do that."

"Plan B." Emmett said, already moving for the door, "Stay put, shorty. I'll be right back." Confused, I watched after him as he left the house.

Despite what he said, I moved outside anyway. Much to their nervousness, given the way they followed me closely. It really was hard to stop myself from following Emmett, but with Jasper in the way, I actually thought twice.

Emmett was only gone maybe thirty seconds before he stepped back into the yard. Dragging a large, struggling deer behind him.

"It's not the same." He said, "But I think it'll tide you over until Carlisle gets back." I wasn't about to complain. He released the deer, and before it could even get back on its feet, I was on it. It wasn't the same as going out and hunting for myself, but I didn't mind delivery. I wasn't picky.

"Very good idea, Emmett." Jasper told him, and he grinned proudly. It was a quick solution, and I had to agree that it was a good idea.

And he was right. It helped me hold out for the hour it took for Carlisle and Esme to get back. I could tell, though, by their expressions that they weren't happy about what Carlisle had just had to do. I could tell by the way they would look at me now and then.

"It's done." I overheard Carlisle telling Jasper, "All those that need to know have been notified." That made me a little sad to think about. My mom and dad now believed I was dead.

"Now what?" I asked hesitantly, and they both looked over at me.

"Yeah." Emmett spoke up, "Are we moving, or staying here? We never finished that part of the discussion."

"Great." Rosalie grumbled, "We _just_ moved here, and now we have to move. Again."

"Would you shut up?" I couldn't help snapping, glancing over as Esme came to my side but I went on at Rose, "You act like I _wanted_ to ruin your life. Get over it already."

"I'm waiting on a few more details first before making that decision." Carlisle spoke up before Rosalie could reply, "Though Leandra did have a few human ties, I believe it would be in our best interest to wait awhile before moving anyway."

"Why?" Rosalie asked him, "I don't like it, but if anyone she knows sees her-"

"They won't." He assured her, "I have my reasons, Rosalie." Silence fell in the room for a moment, and I looked down. I really wasn't trying to cause trouble for anyone. Shaking her head, though, Rosalie left the room.

With an apologetic smile, Emmett followed her.

"Carlisle," Jasper took his attention, "Did you cross any new scents in town?"

"No." He replied, slightly concerned, "Why?"

"We can't be too careful." He answered, "Leandra swears she hears someone talking outside, but we haven't found anything."

"Not, like, right now." I mumbled, "Just sometimes when it's quiet."

"Odd." Carlisle frowned a bit in thought, "We'll be alert."

"We'll need to be alert anyway." Esme added quietly, "I'm sure it'll be fine."

"How long ago did she hear this talking?" Carlisle asked.

"About an hour ago." Jasper replied, "But.. We've already checked. There's been nobody out there."

"I really think it's a part of her gift." Alice murmured from the side, "I don't think we need to worry."

Carlisle looked to me, "What does this voice sound like?"

I wasn't sure why he was asking me after what Alice had just told him, but I sighed. Thinking about it, it was a bit hard to describe.

"Quiet." I answered, "Really quiet. Like I wouldn't hear it if I wasn't already listening to other things, but I know there's more than one. It's hard to tell them apart sometimes, but there's like three."

"I see." He nodded a little, obviously thinking. After a long silence, he sighed as well and looked to me again, "Please let me know if you hear it again." I nodded easily, but something about this whole situation seemed really familiar to me. I couldn't pin-point exactly where it seemed familiar from, but I couldn't shake it.

"What is it?" Carlisle asked, and I realized I wasn't as good at hiding my expression as the others were.

"Nothing." I mumbled, and though he seemed reluctant, he let it go.

Thankfully, it wasn't brought up again the rest of the day. I had a different distraction to focus on.

What I remembered of the last time I'd actually been turned, I couldn't go as long between hunts as I could now. Last time, I had to hunt more often and it took more blood to tide me over. Now, I could already go a few hours between hunts and I didn't need as much. Of course, I knew that was because I was smaller, but it still seemed strange to me. Even the others seemed confused.

Between hunts, I spent a lot of time just listening. Waiting for that whispering to come back. Honestly, I didn't expect it to. I couldn't help doubting now what I'd heard. It was probably some specific way the wind blew through the trees. Some specific way a leaf was brushing another.

As strong as that doubt in myself was, the other emotions hung around. I'd thought sure they would get easier to handle if I opened up a little bit to the others, but they stuck. I could feel both the anger and the pain churning, just waiting to wash over me again, and it scared me. I felt like a ticking time-bomb, and I wasn't sure how or even if I could keep myself from exploding.

Once again, the more agitated I got, the more still I became. I was learning fast to recognize the way my muscles would stiffen. The more still I became, the more I would dwell on the memories I had in my mind. Once more, they focused mainly on those last few human days. Like there was something I was missing, but desperate to figure out.

Tuning everyone out, I ignored them. I could remember the events of that night very clearly. More clearly than I should. Including that vision I had sticking me on the path of what could have happened.

It took me a few hours, but I finally figured out why I was dwelling so much on those last few days. The further back I went, the less it worked, but I knew the outcome of every possible choice I'd been faced with. It wasn't just about that night. It was about every choice I made going back to that last beating that had essentially taken my life.

The one outcome I focused most on was the choice I'd made to go to school that day. Going to school that day was exactly where I should have changed everything, but back then, my gift wasn't strong enough to warn me against it. I never should have gone.

If I never would have gone, Jack would have discovered my injuries, but because I never would have known Alice or Carlisle, Jack wouldn't have felt as cornered and he'd have taken me to the hospital with plenty of time to spare to save my life.

After that, things would have carried on as normal, except Jack would have been more careful. I would have grown up, alone but alive. I couldn't say that I'd have been normal, but it would have sorted itself out in time to get married eventually. Just like Heather did.

If I had stayed home that day, instead of going to school, I never would have known Heather, as Jack wouldn't have allowed that. I never would have known Josh or Zack, but I also never would have known Ken.

I wasn't sure if that was a fair trade or not.

I never would have met Andrew, so I didn't know how he'd turn out. He'd probably be much happier.

If I never would have gone to school that day, the only other person in my life would have been Jack. It would have been a lonely life, but everything would have turned out okay. Nobody would have ever known about me or my gift or the abuse I lived with.

I couldn't help wishing, just a little, that I'd changed that decision that morning.

"Shorty." Emmett was calling my attention, and I finally snapped out of it long enough to look over at him. The depression ate at me, so I didn't look at him for very long. Hardly a blinking glance.

He sighed, "Come on, shorty."

I was back to my silent self, and I knew I shouldn't, but I clung to it this time. Silence kept me safe. Hardly a day of this life, and it was already clear that I wasn't doing well. I felt more heavy emotion than I should, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why.

"I think something's wrong with me." I mumbled almost silently, resting my chin on my knees.

"No." Emmett replied, "There's nothing wrong with you."

"It.." I whimpered, "Just.. Doesn't stop." I pressed my palm flat against my forehead, and he seemed to understand.

"You're overthinking." He told me gently, "We all do it. It usually happens when we're given too many things we have to focus on at once."

"It wasn't like this last time." I shook my head.

"Last time, you didn't have two other sets of memories stuck in there." He countered, "Like Jasper said. Just be patient with yourself. It's a huge change."

"That don't work for me." I argued, "It feels like I'm missing some things. Like I'm stuck, no matter how much room is in there now."

"More room doesn't mean much when all that space is filled up." He replied, "Give it time, shorty. You've got more time now than you'll know what to do with. It makes no sense to rush yourself."

"Like I'm trying to get nowhere faster." I understood, looking away.

"Try not to think of it like that." He said, "It'll only mess you up."

"I know." I sighed, resting my chin back on my knees again, "I can't help it, though. There's so much, it's almost _too_ much."

He was silent for a few moments before he sighed, "Are you ready for a hunt yet, shorty?"

"Is it normal to be tired?" I asked instead of answering, looking up at him as he came to my side, "I feel so tired."

"Shorty, you're a newborn." He replied, frowning a little, "I think it's impossible for you to be tired."

"No it's not." I said, "Because I do. I mean, not like.. Strong tired, but everything else." He nodded slowly in understanding.

"You're letting everything drag you down." He sighed, sitting next to me, "You're sad and confused. Being turned the way you were does that to us. As much as I want to go rip those two bastards apart for everything they've done to you, I won't."

"Why not?" I asked, surprised. He'd certainly changed his tune.

"I won't take that from you." He replied with a small smile, "Because one day, I know it'll be your job to do it on your own." I really wasn't sure about that. I tried to imagine myself doing something like that, but I just couldn't picture it.

"I just wanna be done with them." I mumbled, standing up. He stood up as well.

"You'll change your mind." He seemed so confident about that, "Until then, I'm gonna personally keep tabs on them both. Just let me know when that day comes, and I'll let you know exactly where to find them."

I shrugged a little. Whatever made him feel better. I glanced up at him before stepping around him and looking out the window. It was nearly evening, and I'd only hunted twice today.

"God." His tone had me looking back at him, confused. He was watching me, but I couldn't tell what his problem was.

"What?" I asked quietly.

"I might joke about it," He said, "But you have no idea how bad this bothers me."

"What does?" I asked when he fell quiet.

"This." He gestured to me, "Shorty, I didn't know they made ones as small as you."

"Don't remind me." I mumbled, looking down at myself. The clothes I wore were a little baggy on me, ones we weren't afraid to lose in case hunting got messy again. Only emphasizing my small frame.

"It breaks my heart, kid." He admitted quietly, gesturing to me again, " _This_ should never be needed." I really wasn't sure how to reply to that. Looking back down at myself. Was I seeing the same thing he was seeing? The fact that I had to look up to see his face, even from way over here, told me I probably wasn't seeing things from the same perspective.

I shrugged again, looking back out the window.

It did make me wonder, though. Finally focusing on something besides the never-ending circle my thoughts were stuck in. Was I really the youngest one of my kind out there? I highly doubted there were any vampires out there that never knew the rule. Everyone knew the rule.

Even with as old as I was, it was still very wrong for Carlisle to have turned me. I knew that from my time spent with Aro. Jane and Alec's age was pushing it, a little too close to the child stage at thirteen. I was positive that if anyone ever found out about me and what Carlisle had done, he would be in a lot of trouble.

But was I really the only one? That was a very lonely thought. I was starting to see, though, that I was a little different than my family. I couldn't quite pinpoint the difference, but it was enough to notice.

That was another thing that was bothering me. The differences. Maybe this was why I couldn't really understand what Emmett was talking about and why he didn't seem to understand me, but could physical age really make that big of a difference in how someone turned out? Weren't we all the same?

Then I thought about it. Physical size made a huge difference in strength as a newborn. Jasper had confirmed that himself, and I definitely agreed with him on that one, so why couldn't physical size or age make a huge difference in other ways as well?

All I knew for sure was that Esme really seemed to understand me. More than the others, and I deeply appreciated the fact that she was on my side. Especially when Rosalie was being a real bitch.

I glanced back as Jasper and Alice both entered the room, coming right to Emmett's side.

"Has she hunted yet?" Jasper asked him almost silently. Of course I heard him perfectly, but I chose to stay in my thoughts.

"We gotta talk." Was Emmett's reply, and I listened as Jasper followed him outside. Leaving me with Alice, which I dreaded, knowing she would want to talk. The sound of the door closing washed the room in silence until she slowly moved forward.

I knew she'd want to talk about what happened that night since we were alone, and as much as that bothered me, I wasn't sure I would even know what to say. I would have to start somewhere, because I would rather just get it out of the way, than let it drag on.

"I know." I mumbled, taking control of whatever conversation there was bound to be, "I know. God, I'm so stupid."

"No you're not." She seemed surprised I would even say that, "Leandra, you were doing exactly what you believed was right. That doesn't mean you're stupid."

"I just never thought in a million years that Carlisle would ever change me." I admitted, glancing over as she arrived at my side, "I thought I'd just die and be done with everything."

"None of us knew he would do that." She admitted, "I didn't even see it coming, but I suppose it makes sense."

"It does?"

"He wasn't done helping you." She replied, "When he'd done all he could otherwise, and turning you was the last option, it was a split decision he'd made all on his own. It seems that everything you went through just to try to protect us, as foolish as that was, was just enough to sway him in those final moments."

"But I didn't ask to be turned." I frowned a little, "I never even thought about asking, because of how young I am."

"You didn't have to ask." She murmured, "Just in knowing what all you willingly put yourself through for us, it shed light on exactly what kind of bond you'd built with us."

"You still have no idea." I muttered, shaking my head a little.

"He couldn't let that bond.. Or that strength and determination die in vain." She said, "Leandra, the way you died is one of the most painful ways a human can die. Yet you chose it."

"It was the only way." I reminded her, "If I would have given up, it would have all started over again. I was right when I said that. I know that now."

Taking a breath, she nodded a little.

"But now I feel weaker than I did before." I admitted and she looked over, "Like I just gave everything I had away, and now I have nothing left."

"You'll get it back." She murmured, "It just takes time."

"How much time?" I asked, "Because it really sucks feeling like this."

"You're still adjusting."

"That's what everyone keeps saying. How long's it supposed to take?"

"It's different for everyone." She answered, "We'll be here the whole time."

"Why does Carlisle want to wait?" I asked, "To move?"

She hesitated, as if she didn't want to answer at first.

"It goes back to your reasoning before." She finally said, "Exactly how would it look if we were to just up and move away right after you died? Especially with.. Jack's suspicions before, and the fact that Heather had contacted Carlisle the same day you supposedly died. It would be more conspicuous to leave."

That made sense, so I nodded.

"How is Heather?" I asked quietly.

"She's recovered well." This seemed easier for her to answer, "But she's far from okay, the last time we checked on her."

Right. She would be one of the ones that needed to know.

"How long has she known?" I wanted to know how long she had left to suffer.

"The paperwork was finalized yesterday afternoon." She replied, "Officially, you died on Friday at 12:06pm. Immediate family got the news first. Heather was told this morning." I nodded a little. I actually appreciated how honest she was being with me. These were things I needed to know.

"I wish I could tell her." I admitted sadly, "I know I can't, but she doesn't deserve to hurt. She tried so hard to help me."

"We'll keep an eye on her, Leandra." She assured me, and I nodded. That was the best I was going to get. She sighed, "I know you have so many questions, and I promise to answer as many as I can, but you have to hunt. Deal?" Not surprisingly, now that some of my questions had been answered, it was easy to agree to that.

"Is Carlisle coming with us?"

"Not this time." He answered from behind us, and I turned to look back at him. I'd known he was listening in, so I wasn't exactly surprised that he was there.

"Why not?"

"I have one more thing I need to take care of here." He replied simply, but by the way he said that, I knew I shouldn't press. It was a very subtle change in the way he spoke that I never would have heard before, so instead of continuing to ask, I just nodded a little and looked down. I trusted him, but I couldn't help being curious. What else was there?

I led the way from the house right as Jasper and Emmett were returning, Alice right behind me. A specific hunting area had been designated during the last hunting trip, not far from the house but in a safe direction, and I would try not to stray this time.

I took my two smaller deer, and ignored Emmett's teasing chuckle when I couldn't take another.

"She's literally half your size, Emmett." Alice defended me, "Of course she's going to require less."

I walked away, heading at a slower pace back toward home.

I was already feeling bitter about being forever stuck as a nine-year-old the height and weight of a larger seven-year-old, but Emmett picking on me made me feel worse. Not even being turned could fix the fact that I was behind size wise. I knew it wouldn't, not that I didn't wish it would have. It just sealed my fate of being tiny.

I pursed my lips and continued on, ignoring their quiet bantering behind me. I paused, though, at finding a puddle of water nestled against a fallen tree, and I was quite curious. I stopped, finding my own reflection for the first time as I looked down at it.

I wasn't sure if they worried about my reaction, as they were silent behind me, but I ignored them.

At first my reflection surprised me, because I wasn't used to seeing my face like this, but this young. Older was one thing, after I'd had a chance to mature a bit. This was much different. I could see a bit of what Emmett had been talking about regarding my looks. There was no mistaking this.

I wasn't really taken off guard by the crimson eyes looking back at me, but framed by my face, they seemed deeper. My hair hung down, creating a curtain on both sides of my face, so I reached up and tucked the left curtain behind my ear.

I was suddenly glad that I never cut my hair. It still hung just passed my shoulders, dark auburn in color. I would miss my green eyes, though. My eyes were the one thing about me that I actually liked.

I continued on, though, tearing my gaze away from my reflection with a small sigh.

"You okay, shorty?" Emmett asked me, and I shrugged a little.

"Just not used to it, I guess." I replied quietly, "I've always been a lot older, but I don't care."

"You don't care?" He asked.

"Not really." I mumbled, "I don't have enough room in my head to care. I'm already caring about too many things."

"Feels like that sometimes, huh?" Emmett nodded a little, and I nodded a little as well. It was quiet for a moment.

"So I guess you won?" I asked, looking over at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Jasper hasn't really tried to push me around since you guys fought about who gets to teach me stuff." I explained, and he laughed a little in understanding.

"I won." He confirmed, "He might step in, though. He does have a _lot_ more experience with newborns."

"I know."

"And he wasn't trying to push you around." He went on, "He's just trying to teach you to stay safe."

"I know." I repeated, but didn't offer anything else, falling silent. Staying safe was the last of my concerns, which was probably why everyone else thought they needed to care. I still just wanted to run away, and never stop.

Logically, I knew that I couldn't do that, and I half wondered where I would end up if I ever tried that, but I knew everyone else wouldn't let me do that. It would be too hard to explain the way I felt to anyone, so I kept silent about it. The nagging, tugging feeling I felt right alongside every other instinct I had in me. Though I didn't remember feeling like this the other times I was turned, I was sure they'd just tell me that it was normal.

As we approached home, I had to slow to a stop. I picked up a new sound I wasn't used to hearing. It took me a moment to figure out that it was the sound of a car approaching the house, traveling fast on the drive. No, not a car. Something bigger..

It confused me, as I paid more attention to it than I wanted to.

"Stay here a minute, shorty." Emmett murmured, his tension betraying him.

"Who is that?" I asked, looking up at him. Whoever it was, was human, so I knew why I needed to keep my distance.

"Nobody important." He replied simply, gently taking the back of my shirt in his hand in an attempt to pull me back, but I jerked away and rounded to glare at him.

"Don't do that." I snapped, harsher than I meant to, "Ever." Of course he had no idea why that would bother me so bad, but I wasn't exactly in the mood to explain.

"Okay." He replied defensively, "But we need to go back this way."

As stubborn as I wanted to be, I didn't want to slip up again and kill whoever was arriving at the house and climbing out swiftly. I moved to turn around, to follow Emmett's instruction, until a horribly-timed breeze smacked me right in the face.

It was that scent that made me stop, and it halted that cooperation right in its tracks. It wasn't the scent of blood, though that was there, but something else. I recognized the scent of cologne, and it made me tense. It was so much the same as I'd smelled before, but deeper.

It was Jack.

"Leandra." Alice tried to call my attention, but that wasn't happening. Tension and deep-rooted nervousness set my jaw and clenched my teeth as I turned back around. She reached for me, and I flinched away with a small warning growl. I might have been somewhat of a match for Emmett, but I had a feeling I could take her on if I had to. She realized this as well, glancing over at Emmett.

The rough pounding knocks on the front door still had my attention, so I listened close. What did he want?

Emmett moved for me, but I darted away, closer to the house to listen. I crouched behind a tree, listening to the exact moment that Carlisle opened the door. His sigh, and in the sound, his dread.

"Shorty." Emmett grumbled, obviously annoyed.

"Shh." I hissed over my shoulder. I needed to hear this.

"I need answers." Jack spoke firmly to Carlisle, "What the hell happened?" His tone was one I'd never heard before, and had no clue how to go about identifying the emotion behind it. I knew this wasn't going to end well, and my tension rose in response.

Carlisle sighed, "I'm not sure-"

"Look," Jack barked, "I'm taking a huge fucking risk being here, the least you can do is tell me what I want to know. You're the one that examined the body, aren't you? That's what the form said."

Jack was here about me. Not a huge surprise, but it was nice to figure that out. This must have been the thing Carlisle had to take care of. Knowing Jack was coming was a good reason not to come with us on a quick hunt. Of course, he was probably hoping we'd be gone longer, but it got me out of the house regardless.

I couldn't really figure out how I was supposed to feel either. There were so many intense emotions rolling through me at that point, I didn't give much effort into figuring out what they were.

Jack's tone changed again. He was quieter, "Tell me you got it wrong. Tell me you made some kind of mistake. It can't be her."

Carlisle tried again, "I understand how hard this must be to accept-"

"I don't fucking accept it." Jack replied sharply, his previous quiet tone gone, "That's why I'm _here_. I haven't seen a fucking shred of proof. Show me one shred of proof, and I'll never come back here, but until I see some proof, you've got some hell to pay. Y-You can't just hand me some shitty piece of paper and expect that to be it. Are you fucking crazy? Do you really think I'm just gonna take your word for it? Do you really think I'm just going to believe you?" He paused for a breath, "Where is she now? I wanna see it. I know the law. Nobody can do fucking shit with her body without my say so, no matter how fucked up it is."

Nervously, I looked over at Emmett. Carlisle was in trouble. He had no proof, because I was standing right here.

"Please." Carlisle said, "Come inside." Probably knowing I was out here listening. He just wanted to get him further away from me.

"I'm not going in there." Jack replied, "You're gonna answer me right here. You're the fucking doctor. You tell me exactly what went wrong, because before I came here, I took a little side trip. You tell me exactly why there is no record whatsoever of her ever being treated in the damn hospital. Hell, most of this form is fucking blank. This form doesn't tell me anything. Nobody can tell me a goddamn thing. You're the one that fucking signed it, so you tell me what the fuck happened."

I waited while Carlisle stayed silent for a moment. I didn't even breathe. If he was coming up with a story, he needed to make it a really convincing one without proof, because Jack was pissed off and getting more pissed off by the second.

"It's true." Carlisle finally spoke, "She was never treated in the hospital. She never had a chance to be. Her injuries were far too extensive to allow her to make it that far. The official cause of her death was intra-abdominal hemorrhage due to traumatic rupture of the inferior mesenteric artery, following a severe blunt force abdominal injury. Meaning, Mr. Wallace, that you beat her so badly, you caused enough internal bleeding to kill her slowly and painfully."

I tensed even more. He'd just accused him. That was stupid, because now, he was only going to get more pissed. That might have been the plan, though. Piss him off enough to make him forget why he was there, but that wouldn't work. Not with Jack.

"I didn't lay a hand on her." Jack replied sharply.

"That's a lie." Carlisle countered immediately, his own tone sharp, "You're quite right when you say you're taking a huge risk by being here."

"Okay," Jack barked, "Then tell me. You're so convinced I did something to her. Show me the proof."

Once again, he didn't have any.

Jack's voice quieted, "It would be your word against mine. Even if I did anything to her, which I didn't.. Look at me. If I did want to beat her, she wouldn't survive it."

"She _didn't_ survive it." Carlisle reminded him.

"I'm still not seeing any proof." Jack snapped lightly, "Whatever you're telling me doesn't prove a damn thing. I'll ask again, since you can't fucking figure out what I want. Where is she?"

Carlisle's silence worried me.

"I don't know what you're trying to pull." Jack went on, "But this?" I clearly heard the sound of a paper being ruffled, "This doesn't mean shit to me. If you don't figure your shit out by nightfall, I'll be coming back to burn this fucking house to the ground."

I whimpered quietly, hiding my face against my knees. I hated that tone more than I hated anything in the world. It was in that tone that I understood exactly what was going on in Jack's mind.

"You literally have nothing to be afraid of." Emmett reminded me, surprised.

"I know that." I mumbled, "I know he can't hurt me, but he still makes me feel small. I used to be so scared of him. I guess that followed me."

"Is this normal?" Emmett asked, looking back at Jasper, "She knows she could crush him like a bug, but still feels like this?"

"One thing I've learned, Emmett.." Jasper replied, "Is that there is no set 'normal' for any newborn. Yes, there are some expected behaviors, but anything beyond that can be as varied as human traits. It really just depends on the circumstances around them."

"But to be afraid of a human?" Emmett asked with another frown, "That's just so wrong."

"I'm not afraid." I replied sharply, standing back up, "I _used_ to be afraid."

"Human thoughts and behaviors like that have a pretty large impact on a newborn's temperament." Jasper explained further, more calmly than I could, "Just like the human trait that sometimes develops into an ability, their most intense emotions sometimes get carried over as well. In Leandra's case, it's fear. It may seem strange to you, but to her, it's instinct to fear him."

"Do you think that's why she doesn't trust her own strength?" Emmett asked, suddenly curious. Vaguely, I listened to the sound of Jack driving away. Reminding me that there were more important things to focus on besides this conversation.

"Quite possibly." Jasper nodded, "Over time, that'll go away, but for right now, those emotions are still raw. It's a seemingly irrational vulnerability that she can get passed over time, but for now, it's best not to tease her about it."

"Leandra." Carlisle was calling me back home, so I immediately turned around and started for home. It was a five second trip with how close we already were. Exiting the trees, I could still smell him, and that only raised my tension level. I could have gone the rest of my unnatural life without knowing Jack's scent this well. It made me defensive, and that was never good.

We met Carlisle on the porch, and I immediately started talking.

"You signed the stupid thing yourself?" I asked him, and he sighed.

"I'll be truthful," He replied, steering me inside gently, "I wasn't expecting him to look so closely."

"It's not a huge surprise, shorty." Emmett pointed out, following us inside, "He's pretty much the only doctor that does that around here."

"But if I died someplace else, wouldn't someone else do it?"

"Not if the paperwork was sent back here for the family to be notified." Jasper replied, and that made sense, but I shook my head. Looking back up at Carlisle beside me.

"I'm what matters most to him, though." I said, "You can't just tell someone like him that what matters most to him is gone forever, and think he'll believe you. Everything I did was for nothing now."

"We'll just have to give him proof." Emmett suggested, "No big deal, shorty."

"I can't do that." I argued, shaking my head.

"Pictures?" He asked.

"That won't work." I replied, "He won't stop until he can see me. He needs to see for himself that I'm dead. Without that, he won't believe a word you tell him."

"You know, none of this would be a problem if we just killed him." Emmett pointed out.

"No." Both Carlisle and I replied at the same time.

"If we start doing that," Carlisle went on, "Where do we draw the line?"

"That's a bunch of crap." Emmett grumbled, but he turned away.

"Besides." I muttered, "That would seem kinda bad, wouldn't it? Jack starts asking questions about me, and then he's dead? How would that look?"

Emmett winced, "Good point."

"So just.. No." I added, and how weird it was for me to be telling him to calm down wasn't lost on me, "And no. It's not because I care if he's dead. I actually hope a bus takes him out, and I _really_ hope I'm there to see it, but I don't want you to be the one to do it."

"I get it, shorty." He sighed, "But that leaves the question. What are we supposed to do? If you say he won't believe anything other than seeing you with his own two eyes, what do you think we should do?"

I had no clue, nervously looking over at Carlisle. I knew he could see the nervous expression in my eyes. I knew he would think of something, but what could we do?

"Once Jack is on your trail," I told him, "He doesn't let go until he's bored or he gets what he wants."

"Remember, shorty." Emmett murmured, "You have nothing to worry about."

"Yeah, I do." I replied, "He might not be able to hurt me now, but he can hurt you guys." I whimpered, shaking my head, "This is what I didn't want."

"We'll start with the pictures." Carlisle eventually said, "And go from there."

"Do you have any?" I asked hesitantly, "I mean, did you take any?" Before I even finished asking that, I knew the answer.

"There wasn't exactly time to take any pictures." Alice pointed out anyway from behind me.

"Well.." I mumbled, looking back at her, "Taking them now won't work, because I don't have any bruises."

"That's where I come in." She replied, "If anyone can make this as realistic as possible, it's me." She was annoyingly confident.

"I'm saying it won't work." I shook my head, "It'll just make him even more mad."

"Isn't it worth a try?" Jasper finally asked.

"It'll just waste time." I answered, "We could be thinking of different ways to get him to go away. I know him way better than anyone." They weren't hearing me. This had nothing to do with whatever gift I might still have, but more of knowing this man more than anyone ever possibly could.

As it stood, Jack was convinced Carlisle was lying to him for whatever reason, and once Jack reached this point of certainty, he wouldn't just go away. He wouldn't just look at a picture and take that as proof.

"If this doesn't work," Emmett said, "Then we'll just have to let him see you." I knew what he was getting at. He wanted me to play the part, but that would just be so stupid.

"I can't do that." I squeaked incredulously, looking over at him, "Even if I don't breathe-"

"We'll be there." He replied, "If I have to, I can stop you."

"That's not the point."

"And if you do kill him, good riddance." He countered, "No skin off my nose."

I chose to ignore that part.

"But shouldn't I be somewhere else?" I asked, "You wouldn't keep someone dead in your house." He would have to find somewhere else to put me when these pictures didn't work. I was really hoping my arguing would somehow change their mind about this. We were wasting time! Time we couldn't really afford to waste if we were going to get him to go away.

"I'm already considering that." Carlisle assured me, "For now, we'll go with the pictures." Again, his tone held that slight difference, telling me without telling me that I shouldn't press anymore. I hated it, but I listened to it.

"I need to go get some things." Alice rounded for the door, "I'll make it fast." I assumed she meant for me.

"Better make it good." I said again as she left the house.

"I know what I'm doing." She replied, "Leave it to me."

I shook my head again, seriously doubting this plan. She was confident, but she would have to make me look really believable if she was going to hand Jack evidence like this and have him be okay with it.

I knew either way, though, Jack was going to want to see me. Whether he believed the pictures or not. It was impossible to expect anything different. It could buy time, though. If only to give me a chance to prepare myself for the inevitable.

I fell silent, already working my mind into small, panicked circles. I was scared, and as much as I trusted Carlisle, I couldn't figure out why he'd ever believe this would work. I knew he was distracted, but this was more than just being distracted. This was a huge mistake that he'd made, despite my continuous warnings, and that got to me.

As far as I was concerned, he'd let me down. I didn't want to think about it like that, but by choosing to handle all of this himself, he'd let me down.

When Alice returned, about thirty minutes later, she led me upstairs into her room. Apparently, I was just along for the ride now, in a plan that was doomed to fail before it was even considered. I hardly blinked as she yanked my shirt off, far too curious at what was inside the bags that she placed on the bed.

How was she planning to make me, as I was now, look not only human, but a very injured human?

"We don't have a lot of time, so I need to focus." She told me while I rummaged through one of the bags. There was a whole lot of fake blood in there, as well as a whole lot of dark powdery make-up. In many shades of brown and black.

"What's this for?" I frowned, pulling out a large bottle of baby powder.

"Your hair." She answered without looking up from her task of clearing off her bed, "It's too shiny." That made sense. She needed to dull it quite a bit. She sighed once the bed was cleared off, everything on the mattress replaced with a generic white sheet, "Sit. We'll do your skin first."

I did as she said, looking over as Rosalie walked in to watch. Alice started smearing make-up all over my face a second later. I flinched a little at first at the feeling of it, but quickly adjusted.

"Wait." I mumbled around her hands, "Shouldn't I be pale if I'm dead?" Why was she changing the color of my skin?

"You need to be a little less pale." She said, "Remember, you _just_ died when these pictures were taken. You didn't die days ago."

"Good point." I muttered, closing my eyes. The smell was intense, but I wouldn't complain. She brushed on a bit of light powder after that, making sure to cover my entire upper body in the stuff.

Unlike human skin, my skin didn't hold the stuff, so it would be very touchy until the air could dry it a bit. That must have been what the powder was for. Even when it did dry, though, I knew it would just wipe off.

Once she was done with that, she moved on to touching up my hair. Fluffing the baby powder through it in just the right way to dull it without it looking obvious.

Rosalie actually offered to help with painting on the bruises, since that would take the longest. We had limited time, and she trusted Carlisle too, no matter how often she complained about whatever he told her.

These bruises had to be just perfect, but that wasn't a problem for Alice. I had to hand it to her. She had memorized each one from the brief glimpses she had gotten from me that day. Esme stood in the doorway, offering her support just by being here.

I had probably memorized it twice as well as she did. I directed the rest across my stomach when the color wasn't just right. Refusing to look at the whole scene.

Once that was done, she had me lay back, bringing out the jug of fake blood. It looked very realistic in color and consistency, but it smelled horrible. Even before she twisted off the cap.

Before she applied the blood, she had me close my eyes and lay still as she snapped a few pictures of me without it. As proof of me "after" the blood had been cleaned up.

She then had me put on an exact replica of the t-shirt I'd been wearing that day before she carefully applied the fake blood. Starting at my mouth, which I pursed my lips for as it trailed down the sides of my face and coated my hair. It was very uncomfortable, and she just went nuts with it. Coating the shirt through to the skin, which I had to admit, was very close to how I remembered it looking that day. This was the part she'd remember more clearly, though.

She then had me lay still again as she carefully applied the fake blood in a more precise way. Moving would have messed up the way it dried on my skin, so I had to stay perfectly still. That was my job.

"God, that's scary." Emmett commented back by the door, next to Esme, "You've really outdone yourself." I rolled my eyes a little. It was really bugging me.

"Thank you." Alice smiled back at him. She looked to me again, "Do you want to see yourself?"

"No." I immediately said, "What kind of question is that?" Why in the hell would I want to see myself? "I was there."

"I just thought I'd ask." She replied simply, "Now close your eyes and lay still." I did as she said, waiting. I listened to Carlisle walk in, but kept still as she took a few more pictures.

I didn't bother holding my breath.

I wasn't quite sure why this bothered me so badly. It was more than just the memory of the time when I actually looked like this that got to me. It was what it represented. The reason why we were doing this.

Anyone else but me would probably have just gone with it as easily as Alice seemed to be, but these memories were still fresh. In a way, I felt torn, and I really wasn't sure how I should feel.

I felt torn between being sad for myself, and having to say goodbye to this part of my life a lot sooner than I'd ever had to before. This was the last part of my human life that I had to give up. Convincing Jack that I was really gone, and getting him to move on was the last thing we had to do. I felt like the second he moved on, I would have to face it myself.

"Are you done yet?" I whimpered, looking over at her, "Can this be done?"

"What do you think?" Alice asked Carlisle, ignoring me for a moment, "Does this look accurate?"

"It's very close." He replied, slightly surprised.

"Can I go wash this crap off now?" I asked more forcefully, "Please? It's bugging me."

"Yeah," Alice answered, "Your part is done for now. You did good, Leandra." I immediately got up, pushing passed Emmett and leaving the room swiftly. I made it downstairs in a second, rounding into the bathroom and closing the door a little too hard in my haste. The door splintered.

"Oops." I muttered to myself, but went on with my task. I removed the shirt and hating the reminder, I ripped it to shreds. I didn't look at myself.

I was on edge the entire time I was in the shower, watching all the make up wash off of me. Just the thought of this not working bothered me deeply. I felt a tightness in my chest I knew was caused by my own tension. I knew this wouldn't work, but I wanted to believe Alice so badly. I wanted to trust them, but again, I felt let down.

I stood there, drowning myself under the spray of the shower, as I listened to someone approaching the hallway.

"Leandra?" It was Esme.

"It's not working." I grumbled quietly as she stepped into the bathroom.

"What isn't working?" She asked, closing the door behind herself.

"Drowning myself." I answered, stepping back with a sigh, "It's not like I expected it to, though."

"Honey, don't worry." She said, "I know it seems bad-"

"I'm scared." I cut her off with a whimper, "Everything's going wrong. Again. All I did.. It doesn't mean anything now. Ask Edward. He knows. He knows how bad it got before. Everything I did before, everything that Jack did before.. I can't watch that happen again."

"If it comes down to it, we can leave." She suggested.

"Yeah, because that worked so well last time." I rolled my eyes, reaching down and turning off the water. I stepped out, not bothered in the least at being bare. She handed me a towel, which I accepted, wrapping it around me.

"Last time," I went on, "We moved to New York because Jasper tried to kill Bella. It took Jack not even a month to find me. He can find anybody anywhere. Besides. I'm so sick of running away and hiding. This was what I didn't want. I didn't want this."

She sighed, hugging me.

"Honey," She spoke again, "No matter what happened last time, it's already changed."

"I might have changed," I replied, stepping back and looking up at her, "But he hasn't." I hesitated, before I spoke again, "I don't know what to do." Understanding crossed her expression as she gently took my hand.

"All you need to do is trust us." She told me, "I promise you, honey. You're in safe hands. We'll find a solution, one way or another." I understood what she was saying, looking down.

She knew my opinion on what she was hinting at, but if getting rid of Jack really was the only way, it was exactly what they would do. Hearing her talk about it like this really made me realize what lengths they were going to to make that truly a last resort.

"If you have to," I mumbled quietly, "I can't do it. Someone else has to."

"Is that what you're worried about?" She asked, "That it'll be your responsibility?"

"That's what Emmett said." I reasoned, "He said he won't do it, because it'll be my job to do it."

"That's not what I meant!" I vaguely heard Emmett call from upstairs.

"No, sweetheart." She assured me, "If that is the only way to end this, it will not be up to you. We'll take care of it."

"I can't." I repeated, and she hugged me again.

I wasn't stupid. I knew I _could_ if I had to, but I wouldn't handle it well. Just thinking about being put into that position made me nervous. Jack was human. Past or not, he was still a human.

"Trust us." She repeated as well, "Remember. We protect our own, Leandra." That included me now too, despite Rosalie's disappointment.

Taking a breath, I started to calm down.

I definitely had to admit. If I had to be stuck as a kid for the rest of forever, the safety and protection she offered just by being here for me was a pretty good way to spend it.

I was escorted out of the house well before nightfall, where I'd stay until it was safe to come back. I would allow that, but I wouldn't go very far. I knew that Jack wouldn't get anywhere near being able to burn the house down, but the fact that he was coming back made me very edgy. It took my entire focus, more than hunting.

About an hour before nightfall, however, a phone call inside the house had my jaw drop. It was either really smart, or really stupid. I couldn't decide which yet.

"Chief Swan." Carlisle spoke tensely, "I have an interesting favor to ask of you."

 **A/N: I'm sorry for the long wait! We're still establishing a new routine over here. Little KNeu is adjusting well. He's a really laid back little guy. It's me that's having trouble.  
Anyhoo! THANK YOU to my reviewer of last chapter! :) You're awesome!  
** **I'm also sorry for the horrible cliffy. I'll be getting chapter Twelve out as soon as humanly possible. I promise, just so I can save you guys from wondering too much. Twelve also has a new appearance, if you guys are curious. ;)**

 **Until Twelve, my friends! :D  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

Right on time, just as daylight was fading, Jack returned.

I was hoping not to hear the rumble of his truck coming up the highway, but it was unmistakable. I probably would have been able to tell the difference anywhere, even without the scent coming closer as well.

I didn't want to be out here in the trees, waiting. Listening. Fully preparing my 'I told you' speech.

I should have scampered away like a scared rabbit at his approach, close enough to see the headlights of his truck illuminate the trees as he pulled to a stop, but I stayed. So distracted, that despite the fact that I would fight the second he tried to move me away, I let Emmett pick me up.

It tried to surprise me that I was still small enough, light enough to comfortably be held, but again. My focus was on the slamming of the truck door and the angry footsteps approaching the front door.

I waited, holding my breath as Carlisle took his time getting to the door. Not even glancing over as Esme came to my side. Knowing she could calm me down easier than Jasper could, she volunteered to wait with me out here along with the others.

"This isn't going to work." I whispered as Carlisle opened the door, "Be careful, Carlisle. Please."

"Well?" Jack demanded as soon as the door was open, "Are you going to give her up, or what?"

"I acquired the proof you requested." Carlisle replied easily, "But no. I will not be giving her up, as you put it. Her remains are in the hands of the state as of this morning-"

"That's bullshit." Jack immediately replied, "I'm here now, so you can't do shit with it. Unless I've given up my rights, which I sure as shit have not. I decide what you do with it. Not you."

"Your rights have been temporarily suspended pending investigation regarding the suspicious nature of her death." Carlisle informed him, "The proof I have for you is only a courtesy to you. By law, I didn't have to show you anything."

"Suspicious?" Jack snapped, his tone sharp, "Ask anyone who knew her. She was hit by a fucking car! Do you really think I did that shit to her?"

I looked down. Even killing me couldn't make him tell the truth. Anyone who didn't know him would have believed him. His voice held the right about of incredulous disbelief, and oddly, the right amount of emotional pain.

"We'll discuss that." Carlisle replied easily, "I'm not going to argue, as I'm legally bound not to discuss it with you. Come inside." This time, Jack didn't argue. Shoving his way passed Carlisle through the doorway.

That was stupid.

He was so determined to continue playing innocent that he went inside instead of turning around and leaving like he should have.

I had to admit, though. This was a new situation for me. I'd never actually died to Jack before. I'd never been dead to him, so I'd never gotten to know what his reaction would be. Given his reaction, he wasn't taking it well.

I dropped back to my feet.

Jack's heart beat too fast, and I knew that had to do with more than just fear. If only he knew I was right here. I had to wonder, though, what it was like to finally wipe that stupid smirk off his face. If only I was there to see it.

In the briefest glimpse, I could feel what Emmett had been talking about. Some day it would be my job to take him out. For the first time, I was stronger than him. In every version of these visions stuck swirling through my head, I'd always been weaker than him.

That was such a strange realization to have, because it came with an emotion I'd never really felt before.

"Leandra." Jasper spoke quietly, nowhere near the warning of before, and I appreciated that. Glancing back at him.

"Don't worry." I mumbled. Using every emotion I had in me, I buried and beat back that unidentifiable emotion brought on by my sudden realization. The fact that I was okay enough to reply to Jasper was enough to ease him. Beside me, Esme placed her arm around my shoulders, and as much as I knew she wanted to get me away, she also knew I wouldn't handle that well.

I focused again on the house, and the fact that Carlisle had followed Jack into the living room. Headed straight for the single envelope on the table.

"There." Carlisle must have been telling him to pick it up, and my nervousness exploded as I heard him do so. Roughly grabbing the envelope in his hand. Nearly ripping it in his angry haste to get to the photos inside.

I knew better than to hope that he would buy this, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to believe in them so badly.

Though there was a sharp intake of breath, he was silent for a moment. There weren't many pictures there, but enough to shut him up. I listened to him flip through the stack of pictures, quickly at first before taking another, slower trip through them.

His heart pounded harder, but I wasn't sure if that just meant he was about to accept it, or if he was only getting more pissed. If I was there, I could tell easily, but from way out here, it was impossible.

He took a breath, and I held mine. The slapping sound of the pictures hitting the coffee table again made me flinch a little, waiting on edge for him to say something.

"How fucking stupid do you really think I am?" He finally asked and I lowered my head, slapping my palm against my forehead, "Stop fucking stalling!"

"I can't do it." I turned away, away from the house and away from Esme, "I knew this wouldn't work. I told you this wouldn't work."

"Just calm down." Emmett told me as Jasper watched me, "Shorty-"

"That's it." I replied simply, "He's on you until the day he dies."

Alice sighed, "We're not-"

"You're not listening!"

"Leandra." Jasper gave me a firm correction, and instead of continuing on that way, I shouted in frustration.

"We'll help you." Alice offered, trying to calm me down.

"With what?" I barked, "I'm not doing it."

"You'll be holding your breath anyway."

"How stupid do you think I am?" I couldn't help repeating Jack's question, "Are you crazy? I can't. I want him to die, but I don't want to be the one to do it."

"I know right now you feel cornered," Jasper told me firmly, "But-"

"Don't tell me that." I snapped at him this time, "I'm not cornered. I'm mad."

"Leandra," Alice murmured, "It'll be easy-"

"No." I argued, and I was about to continue until I heard the sound of another vehicle's approach from the highway. My attention was taken by the sound.

In my slight panic, I'd forgotten about this part. The favor Carlisle had called in from Charlie, and Charlie had obviously come through.

In a way, sending a cop here was for Jack's own protection, but..

"This won't work either." I insisted, "I bet you anything."

And I was right.

The best that the cop could do was take Jack in for questioning, because as Jack had pointed out, there was just not enough evidence condemning him, and given his well known influence in town and Oscar-worthy innocent act, it didn't take him long at all to beat back their suspicion.

He stuck with the 'hit by a car' story, adding just the right amount of desperation in his voice, the right amount of insistence that they needed to find the right person.

The questioning took about an hour before the cop was clearly convinced of Jack's innocence and let him go, and the only reason it took that long was because there were other cops off searching the trailer in Sappho for evidence.

It immediately became clear what Jack had spent the day doing. Every shred of evidence had been wiped away or covered up, just in case something like this happened.

This plan totally failed, _and_ it pissed Jack off. Just like I said it would. Not only did it fail hard, but it backfired. The cops were now on Jack's side. Agreeing with Jack that he now had a right to decide what to do with my body, so Carlisle now had no choice but to somehow turn me over, within twenty-four hours.

Despite the other's insistence, I listened the whole time. Holding my breath, ignoring the nagging burn in my throat and shaking the whole time, because this was more important to me than hunting.

Meeting Carlisle outside the station in the parking lot, Jack was a little smug but mostly pissed.

"I fucking told you." Jack spoke first, quietly, "You had nothing on me, so this was really stupid of you. If she's really dead, let me see her. After that, you can do whatever the fuck you want with her. Bury her, burn her, toss her in the fucking river for all I care, but I'm gonna see for myself and no goddamn pictures are gonna do it for me. I want physical proof in front of me before this time tomorrow, or there _will_ be hell to pay."

Not even waiting for a reply, Jack was walking away.

"Well, killing him is out now." Emmett grumbled, not at all pleased.

"What did I tell you?" I growled, turning around, "Nobody believed me, and now look where it's got us." I ducked further into the trees behind the station, literally shoving a smaller tree out of my way. I didn't even stop to care about the noise it must have made. I'd just been backed into a corner, left with little choice but to endure this little meeting, pretending to be dead just so Jack could believe that I was really gone.

"Stop that." Alice corrected me firmly but quietly, but I just glared.

"I'm not doing it." I added, "So you should go find yourself some other dead kid, 'cause I told you. I told you, you didn't listen, so it's not my fault."

"Breathe, shorty." Emmett told me, "Calm down." I hesitated, before I did as he suggested. Taking a breath, I looked over at him.

"I can't!" I snapped. I glanced back toward the road at the sound of Jack's loud cuss as he drove away.

"Remember how it was for the pictures?" Alice asked, "That's all you'll have to do. Just lay still."

"No," I corrected, "All I have to do is lay there, _and_ not kill him. I told you I don't want to be the one to kill him. And I told you I'm not doing it. I'm not. It's not fair to ask me to do it, either, and you know it."

Alice sighed as if I was being unreasonable, "Leandra-"

"All of you should have just let me die." I snapped straight at her now, "I did everything I had to do to keep all this from happening. If I was really dead, then that would've been it." I went on, "I wouldn't be here to feel like I do. I wouldn't feel anything anymore. I didn't ask anyone to save me."

"Come on, shorty." Emmett tried, but I glared over at him as I took another larger step backwards. Carlisle's arrival just made me even more mad, as if Jack's anger fed my own. It shouldn't have even been like this.

"Leandra, I'm sorry." Carlisle started, "I never expected-"

"You screwed me over!" I shouted, unable to help it, and that seemed to be enough to move Jasper forward. I countered each of his steps forward with two steps of my own backward.

"Jasper." Carlisle tried to correct him, but he was focused on me. I was focused on him as well, even ignoring Alice's sad shake of her head at the ground right behind him.

"Leandra, calm down." Jasper told me, but I just growled in anger.

" _No_." I replied sharply, "It's not fair. I didn't ask for this."

"None of us did." He countered, "But we get by. You're having a hard time-"

"Don't do that." I was just getting more and more angry, and I knew I needed to get away. The instinct to run was quickly coming forward again, but I knew it would be near impossible to get away. That just made me feel more cornered.

He sighed, "Leandra-"

I gave up, and attempted to turn. He darted forward and caught my arm, but I rounded on him. He must not have expected it, because I was faster. He attempted to move his hand back, but I bit him right on the side of his hand. I heard and felt the tearing between my teeth, and I let go just in time for him to finish pulling his hand back with a sharp grunt of pain.

" _Don't touch me_!" I snarled at him as he clutched his hand to himself with an increasingly angry look in his eyes. Emmett took a single step, and once again, I was off running. I ignored Carlisle's attempt to call me back.

They obviously thought that choosing not to chase me was a good idea this time, as they didn't follow me, but I didn't stop. I was too upset. I just ran. It was pitch dark out here now, night having just fallen, which only pushed me on.

To my mixed up mind, everything was already so messed up. I couldn't make sense of anything anymore when my anger took over. It was just easier to listen to instinct at this point than to try to figure anything out. I was more scared than I cared to admit. I was confused, and I just needed to find which way was up. So far, I hadn't had a chance to do that.

I just couldn't understand it. Why was I having such a hard time with everything this time? Despite wondering, I already knew the answer to that. Most of it had a lot to do with the one person I was actually running from. The memories I constantly revisited of my human life were what was messing me up so much now.

This time, there was no confusion at all about where I was going. I ran faster than I was sure I should have been capable of, in search of the one bit of comfort I could never turn down. About halfway there, though, I knew they'd caught on, as I could just barely hear them following me, but without Edward, they didn't have a prayer of catching me.

I needed to calm down. The only place I was positive I could do that was with one person.

And I found him easier this time. Mikah wasn't even home yet. When I got there, he was just locking the door of the store he worked at. It was dark here, which helped me, but I wasn't sure how to go about this. So I chose to just show up at his side, which only startled him. His small shout of surprise startled me, and I looked up at him.

"Where did you come from?" He asked me. Holding my breath, I wasn't sure about replying. I needed to get a feel for myself before that could happen, as I wasn't sure that the instinct to keep from hurting him had stuck around.

It was dark enough on this street that I was pretty positive that he still couldn't get a very clear look at me. It was just enough to recognize me, though, as he smiled.

"Oh," His tone held understanding now, "Hey. It's you." He looked around himself as he placed the heavy ring of keys into his pocket, "Seriously. Where'd you come from? What are you doing here this time of night?"

I looked away with a light shrug. Hesitantly, I took a small breath. Carefully testing myself a little bit at a time.

He looked around himself again, looking for the answer on the almost empty street, but I sensed that he was only confused. He wasn't afraid of me.

As if just looking around, he took a few steps up the street, peering around the side of the building. I followed him.

"Oh," He laughed, looking down at me as I fell into step beside him, "You want to walk with me?" Silently, I nodded, so he laughed again, "Okay, but you have to remind me your name. It's the least you could-"

"Leandra." I mumbled quietly, and he smiled again, "That's my name."

"Leandra." He repeated as he nodded slowly, "I remember now. It's not a name you hear every day." With that, he started at a slow walk in the direction he probably though I'd come from. I followed easily, almost like we were tethered.

"So, really." He murmured, "Why are you out here, Leandra? It's a little late to be taking a stroll to the store for anything."

"I ran away for a minute." I answered, "And I found you." It wasn't a lie, so I felt okay with telling him. He hesitated in his reply.

"That's not very safe." He pointed out.

"I'll be okay." I assured him, hesitantly taking another breath. It wasn't as bad as I thought, but it still hurt. As much as it hurt, though, I wasn't afraid of hurting him anymore. Every small, hesitant breath I took, my confidence in myself grew just a bit more.

"Why would you run away?" He asked gently. Not at all pressing.

I glanced back behind me as I clearly heard the others catch up to us. They stayed out of sight, which I deeply appreciated. They weren't here to chase me away yet. No doubt curious themselves, they wanted to witness our interaction. They were close, though.

"What?" He asked, looking back behind us as well.

"Nothing." I replied carefully, continuing on. He followed. I almost couldn't believe the amount of comfort I was given by just being next to him.

"So why would you run away?"

"I got mad." I answered vaguely.

"At your brother?" He asked.

"Yeah." I said, "And all of them." He looked over curiously, "I have three brothers. Two sisters. Well.. I guess you could call them brothers and sisters. It's weird."

"I see." He nodded a little, keeping my pace easily, "Well, whatever they are to you, I'm sure they're all worried."

"No." I muttered almost bitterly, "They know right how to find me. Which sucks, because it's their fault."

"Care to explain?"

"I worked so hard on something," I couldn't help venting, "I did everything I could, and it's not fair for them to ask me for more."

He was quiet for a few seconds as he clearly thought out a reply.

In his silence, I listened to Emmett argue with Alice about rushing over and stealing me. Emmett was all for it, but Alice insisted for him to wait. Carlisle agreed with Alice, weirdly enough, but Jasper was even more against letting this continue than Emmett was. Jasper had the least amount of faith in me than anyone. I briefly wondered how much trouble I was in for biting him.

"It's true," Mikah said, taking me from my thoughts again, "I don't know anything about their side of the story, but I'm sure they wouldn't be asking you for anything they didn't believe you could do."

"But I can't." I argued, and he looked over.

"Can't?" He asked, "Or won't? It sounds to me like all this is is a lack of communication."

"It's useless." I sighed, "They don't listen even when I do tell them something. All they do is boss me around."

"Every family is going to have their fights, Leandra." He replied, "For example, my younger siblings fight worse than cats and dogs. They're always at each other's throats, beating on each other, but you know what?"

Before I could even reply, Rosalie and Esme both joined the group behind us, and the others immediately began filling them in on what happened. I knew I had no hope of getting away after this, especially as they started to spread out. Surrounding us, but staying out of sight. They were taking precautions, and that made me feel bitter.

They didn't even have a right to be here. I didn't want them to follow me.

"What?" I asked Mikah in reply, not at all enthusiastic.

"I wouldn't believe it if I haven't seen it myself," He answered, "But all that fighting makes them closer. Every little argument between them means nothing in the long run. At the end of the day, they're still family."

"They don't get me." I shook my head a little.

"So help them." He replied simply, "Siblings are weird, but it doesn't have to be complicated. You're the youngest?"

"Yeah." In every way.

"I'm starting to see the problem here." He said, "I know it feels like they're always picking on you-"

"All the time." I confirmed.

"Constantly, but it's only because they care about you." He went on, "Trust me on this one. You say they're overestimating you."

"I guess."

"Stop," He murmured, "And really think about it. Couldn't it be possible that you're underestimating yourself?"

"No." I answered immediately, "I know that I can't do it. They think I can. I think I know me better than they do."

"So talk to them about it." He urged.

"I _tried_."

"Calmly?" He asked, and I hesitated, "Give them a chance. I know it's hard, but hear them out. You never know. They might just return the favor."

I sighed, "No they won't. They'll just boss me around again."

"Give them a chance." He repeated, "And we gotta talk about this running away thing. Leandra, it's dangerous for someone like you to be wandering around by yourself. How old are you?"

"Nine." I replied quietly, already thinking about what he'd just told me.

"Nine?" He asked, surprised.

"Nine." I repeated, only half annoyed.

"Um.." He hesitated, "No offense, honey, but you need to eat something." I couldn't help smiling at the way he said that.

"I know." I mumbled as my smile faded, "I'm small."

"Understatement." He countered, looking me over, but he sighed quietly, "Okay, well, that's beside the point anyway. Where do you live?"

"Why?"

"So I can get you safely back there." He replied as if that were obvious.

"Thanks," I said, "But I'm not going back yet."

He chuckled, shaking his head a little, "Kid.."

"What?"

"I know your brothers must be really worried about you by now."

"They know I'm okay." I argued, "I can take care of myself."

"That may be," He replied, "But for the sake of my sanity, please let me take you back home." I stopped and looked up at him. He smiled apologetically, "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let you wander off on your own."

I'd been so eager to see him, I hadn't thought about an escape plan. Of _course_ he wasn't going to let me walk away from him at this time of night. Not alone.

Mistaking my silence for irritation, he sighed.

"It all goes back to what I was saying before." He told me gently, "Families are weird. There will be fights. Especially as you get older, but you learn to pick your battles. None of us choose where we end up, but when it really comes down to it, no one has your back like your family."

Hesitantly, I looked away in thought. I really couldn't believe my luck, and the amount of relief I felt was nearly overwhelming. He still managed to tell me things in a way I would understand. He still spoke my language.

"Maybe." I finally mumbled defeatedly, and he smiled. I couldn't help glancing back as I heard Alice's slow approach. It was reflex to react to it, even if I wasn't supposed to know she was coming, but at least I didn't have to think of a way out.

"So where are we headed?" Mikah insisted, and I looked up at him again. He met my eyes this time with a small, curious smile, "I've never seen an eye color as black as yours."

I hesitated, surprised that he'd be able to notice, before looking back down as that prompted Alice to get to me a little faster. Closing my eyes and resisting the urge to run again.

"There you are." Alice called, announcing her arrival. She came striding to my side, and I sighed. Biting back an annoyed growl as she hugged me. If she knew how I felt, she didn't let on.

"Hey." Mikah greeted her, "Leandra's sister, I'm assuming?"

"Yeah." She replied easily with a friendly, relieved smile, "I'm Alice."

"Mikah." He introduced himself, "And boy, am I glad you found her."

"Thank you for keeping her safe." She told him, the relief heavy in her tone, "I'm sorry if she bothered you. She just has a way of disappearing."

"Not a bother at all." He replied with a smile, "No doubt I'll be seeing you again, Leandra."

"Maybe." I mumbled, my tone disappointed. It was really hard not to run away. Especially knowing what I'd have to do when we got home. I was positive that I couldn't pull this off, but they were going to ask me to try.

We parted ways, Alice turning with me and walking back the other direction.

"Leandra," She started almost silently, "You know you can't just run here-"

I shook my way out from under her arm, glaring bitterly ahead as we continued on. She sighed, but accepted that.

"I'm not doing it." I grumbled, but this time, she didn't reply.

Just like before, I was herded home, except this time, I didn't stop to hunt anything. So far, Jasper hadn't said anything to me, which I wasn't so sure was a good thing. Also just like before, I ducked back into my room. Hiding away from the pressure I felt.

I knew full well that my solitude wouldn't last, as I heard them discussing the best way to approach me.

"She's still against it." Alice murmured to the others, obviously trying to be quiet, "I think we should be thinking up alternatives-"

"So make her." Rosalie suggested bitterly, "She's a kid, and a newborn. I thought Jasper was supposed to be good with newborns. Or is he losing his touch?"

"This isn't like any other situation I've faced yet, Rosalie." Jasper defended himself, "She's fighting it."

"And have you ever tried to _make_ a newborn do anything they don't want to do?" Alice added, "I don't see you volunteering."

"If absolutely anyone had listened to me when all this first started, we wouldn't be in this mess." She sniffed, "She's just being stubborn. What was all that talk about being firm with her?"

"It's a precarious situation." Esme replied, "We have to be careful. She's already turning on us."

"Just go in there and tell her how it's going to be." Rosalie sighed, obviously annoyed, "You can't let her run the place."

"After you." Jasper challenged.

"Fine." I was surprised she actually fell for that challenge so easily. Her footsteps approaching proved her bravery, and I tensed in response.

The second she opened the door, though, she was hit with a table I'd thrown. As soon as the sound of the wood shattering faded away, I hissed through clenched teeth, meeting her glaring eyes with a glare of my own.

Yet, she still spoke, "Listen here, you little animal-"

"Leave me alone." I told her flat out, "I'm not doing it."

"You're doing it." She replied firmly, "After all Carlisle's done for you, I think-"

"Get out." I snapped louder this time, "I said I'm not doing it."

"And I said you are doing it."

The next closest thing for me to throw was a shoe, so I did. It created a decent hole in the wall beside her head.

"Throw things all you want to." She snapped in return, "It won't change-"

The other shoe hit her square in the face.

"Rose," Esme approached her side, "Stop. Let me talk to her." I appreciated Esme's effort, but my mind wouldn't change. Especially as Jasper followed Esme into the room.

I was still worried about possible punishments for what I did to him, so him walking in definitely didn't help. His hand seemed fine, but I wouldn't doubt he was still mad about it.

"Good." Rose replied to Esme, "Maybe you can explain to her the risk we're taking just by keeping her alive."

"That's enough." Carlisle defended me before Esme could, approaching Esme's side, "Let us handle this."

"Carlisle," Rose replied, "You need to control that beast before half the world finds out we have her. She's going to get us all killed."

I bit back my reply, looking down. I wasn't entirely sure she was wrong. Edward got home at that point, not stopping as he headed for my room. He must have heard the discussion awhile back, and was now attempting to come and help.

"Rose," He spoke before he even got there, "Go and calm down."

Thankfully, she listened to him. I watched her leave, just to make sure she was really going to stop trying to boss me around. When she didn't come back, I sighed quietly.

"Leandra," Carlisle was the first to speak, and I couldn't help glaring over at him. I wasn't done being mad at him, and my tension told him that, "I understand how you feel, but I never meant-"

"Get out." I growled at him.

"Hey." Jasper corrected me sharply, sharper than he had yet.

"Jasper," Carlisle looked at him, "Please. That's enough." He seemed hesitant, but he stepped back. I wasn't done with him, though.

"You get out too." I snapped at Jasper.

"I'm not going anywhere." He replied.

"How many times do I gotta bite you before you leave me alone?" I stood up.

"It doesn't work like that." He countered firmly, "I let it slide, giving you the benefit of the doubt."

"Leandra." Esme sighed quietly beside me, and I glanced over, but returned my glare to Jasper.

"What are you gonna do?" I asked, "Nothing, that's what."

"You forget I know what you're feeling." He replied, "Leandra, please don't do this."

"Stop it." Carlisle spoke up, "Both of you." As much as I wanted to keep going, I shut up. He continued at me, "I'm trying very hard to figure out what it is you expect us to do here."

"Nothing now." I snapped, "Before, I just wanted you to listen to me."

"We understand that you're against this."

"No, before that." I said, "Before this, or any of this. I was telling you the whole time to just go home and forget about me if you couldn't handle it, but you never did. I never asked to be saved."

"Yes you did." Edward corrected me, and I looked down immediately, hating the reminder.

"That's not what I meant." I mumbled shamefully.

He went on, "What happened to Heather wasn't your fault. None of that was your fault, no matter what you've convinced yourself of. You _know_ what would have happened if you hadn't asked for help."

"I should have just-"

"Don't." He cut me off firmly, "Don't even say it. Please." I understood his tone, keeping my eyes down. I felt the same way. He sighed, "Leandra, what Carlisle did about Jack was for your benefit. You didn't want him killed, so what else could be done? Informing all human ties of your death is exactly the way he's done it for every single one of us. Not once has anyone ever questioned it to this degree."

"Then he should have had someone else sign it."

"You do understand that that's impossible, right?" He asked in return, "No doctor in their right mind is going to sign a death certificate without, at very least, seeing the body themselves, and he would never ask anyone to lie for him that way."

"I can't do it." I was quiet now, hoping he would understand.

"No matter what happens," He replied, "It'll be alright. You're having trouble thinking passed all of this. Think ahead, Leandra. Think about what all you'll be gaining. This is just one little problem standing in your way."

"It's more than that."

"You're overthinking it." He replied, "I understand that it's hard not to overthink, but trust us. You can do this." I started to argue, but he went on, "Jasper will be there, as well as Emmett. Your only job is to just be there."

"I can't." I repeated, shaking my head.

"Do you doubt yourself that much?" He asked, "One simple task is too hard for you?"

"It's not simple to me." I replied, "Being anywhere near him isn't easy for me. He's why I'm like this at all."

"I understand." Edward nodded, "I do. You're clinging with everything you have to that last bit of your humanity." I looked back down, a spark of shame aching in my stomach, "Leandra, that's not your fault. This was sudden, with no chance to prepare. I'm not asking you to let that go. None of us are. All we're asking is to just try to see this task from a different perspective."

That, I hadn't tried. I hadn't tried to think about it from a vampire's perspective. Just that little push from Edward changed how it looked in my mind, and for once I was speechless as I thought about it. Almost against my will.

Following my first thoughts, I looked over at Carlisle.

Carlisle was doing everything he could to fix this for me. To make it right. To respect what I wanted, and using every possible option. He had so many previous experiences to believe that this would work. He honestly didn't know that Jack would be this difficult to convince. I was blaming Carlisle for the way I couldn't let go.

And Edward was right. Once this was out of the way, I could start moving on.

This was why I hadn't adjusted yet. This was the last bit I had to get passed, and I was refusing to do so because I was scared, but if I could just do this one thing, Jack would have his proof, and he would probably move on. Go back to whatever life he had before, and leave me alone. If I could just get him to leave me alone, well.. That was all I'd ever wanted. A Jack-free life.

I looked back down, hating how torn I was. My silence was making them nervous, but they didn't press. Aside from Esme gently smoothing my hair down my back, nobody pressured me.

All I had to do was lie still for ten minutes, and ignore the fact that he was there. That was it. I'd done that before. I used to do that every night, ignoring the fact that he was there with me. Unfeeling, retreating into my mind. I only had to do that one last time.

Thinking about it like that made me tense, but I knew it was doable. I could do that. Edward was promising me that Jack-free life, and though I was still scared, I knew I really had no choice.

"But what if I screw up?" I asked, "I just know I'm going to make everything worse. I'm scared I won't be able to help it, and I don't want that. You saw what happened to that first guy. What happens when that's Jack?"

I knew my tone now was much different than all the ones I'd ever used toward them. It was smaller, more insecure, but that was just because I now had no more excuses.

"I'll be right there, shorty." Emmett assured me, "Even if anything does happen, it won't be your fault."

"It won't?" I asked hesitantly.

"No." Carlisle replied, "Leandra, we know how difficult this task is, and you're absolutely right. It isn't fair to ask you to do this, especially after you've already given so much, but it's the only option we have left." Having him confirm it like that made me feel a little better about it, but I still knew it would be hard. I was beginning to understand, though.

"Okay." I finally mumbled, "Okay, I'll do it."

"You're sure?" Carlisle asked, and I looked over.

"Yeah." I replied, "I'm sure. Just tell me what to do."

It turned out to be a little more difficult than I thought before. At least preparation wise. Early the next morning, I was taken to the least used of the two morgues in the hospital. Deep in the basement of the building. It was smaller than the other one, with only six 'trays'. Each 'tray' had that classic metal door, and just thinking about getting in one of those made me feel nervous. Thankfully, there wasn't much of a smell here. Mostly bleach, or rubbing alcohol.

This was where I'd supposedly been this whole time, waiting for things to be resolved. That disturbed me.

That wasn't the worst of it, though. Apparently, if someone is dead, they don't get clothes. That was a bit embarrassing with Emmett right in the room with Carlisle, Alice and I, but he was only there as a look out, and he had his back turned. It bothered me, though, because I knew soon, Jack would be seeing me. Bare as the day I was born, but that would wait.

The hardest part was laying on that tray, letting Alice work on an elaborate autopsy scar down my chest and stomach, over the customary bruising. She couldn't do it at home because once again, my skin made it difficult, and I knew if I moved at all it would all be undone, so I had to lay more still than I did before.

I was just glad to not have that fake blood all over me. I held my breath, looking over at her as she finally stood upright.

"There." She said, looking over at Carlisle, "Any finishing touches?"

"That looks accurate." He replied with a nod, "Just don't move, Leandra." I looked at him, not daring to even nod. We needed everything to stay exactly where it was. He nodded a little, "I'm going to close you in now, and I'll make the call. Just hold your breath. It'll be alright."

I hated this, but I had no choice.

I wasn't sure how we would explain away Emmett's presence, but he didn't seem like he wanted to leave at any point. Even after Carlisle and Alice left the room. It made me feel better just having him there.

I closed my eyes once I was encased in darkness, holding my breath and lying still. It was the only way I knew of to keep my sanity. This was too weird. Laying in this cold, metal box bothered me deeply, even without breathing. I could feel how closed in I was and it made me very nervous. It set my teeth on edge, and I could barely stand it, but I stayed as still as I could. This was our last chance, and I really didn't want to blow it.

I was lying there for exactly fourteen minutes and thirty-two seconds before I heard any activity nearing the hallway outside the room.

I could hear his heartbeat from up the hall.

I listened to them coming closer, their footsteps echoing in the deserted hallway. All the make up on my skin made my skin twitch, and I absolutely hated being naked this way, especially knowing Jack would be getting a good look.

The door opened, and I locked my muscles into place. A bit torn between knowing I needed to stay still and wanting to end that irritating heartbeat.

"What's he doing here?" It was Jack, alright, and he'd obviously noticed Emmett.

"For my protection." Carlisle replied simply, and I had to admit. That was a good explanation. Even though Emmett was actually there for Jack's protection, much to Emmett's unhappiness.

"Smart." Jack noted, but moved on, "Okay, so. Where the fuck is she?" With a hesitant sigh, Carlisle moved forward. I listened to each of his footsteps coming closer, tensing myself in place.

The small door opened at my head, and I clenched my teeth slightly. The sound loud to me and it grated on my already fragile nerves. I didn't have to breathe in to know the scent that filled the small box was right there. I could feel it.

Slowly, the tray I laid on was pulled out, and I knew to let myself move with the movement. I clearly heard Jack's sharp intake of breath, and it bounced around in my mind. It grated on me, and made it ten times harder not to pounce at him. His heartbeat was loud, irritatingly loud, and it took all my willpower not to end it.

"Here is your proof." Carlisle spoke softly. I laid stone still as I felt Jack's light, warm touch on the back of my hand. Though the touch traveled up my arm into my mind and tried to trigger a fatal reaction.

"Get out." Jack told him, "And take that gorilla with you." My nervousness increased. He wouldn't leave me in here alone with him, would he?

"I'm not leaving." Emmett scoffed, "You wanted proof. There's your proof. You don't need us to leave for you to see that."

I had a feeling the only reason I was still laying here was thanks to Jasper. He was around, I could tell, but not close enough.

"I think I deserve a minute or two alone with my fucking daughter." Jack growled, "Get the fuck out."

"You don't deserve the oxygen it takes to keep you alive." Emmett countered, "I'm staying. Get over it."

"She's already fucking dead. What more do you think I'm going to do to her?"

"I made her a promise." Emmett replied, his tone scathing, "I promised her I would protect her. I couldn't do that while she was alive, but I sure as hell can do it now. It's the least she deserves after you murdered her."

"I'll step out." Carlisle spoke before Jack could reply, "But Emmett will stay."

"Fine." Jack grumbled, "Fuck it. If he gets off on this stuff, he can stay." I clearly heard Emmett's low growl under his breath, but he stayed put. He stayed put across the room, which was a problem in itself.

Carlisle must have hesitated, because Jack snapped this time, "Out!"

I hated the sound of Carlisle's hesitant footsteps toward the door. The door closed behind him, the sound reverberating around me. It was an amazing feat to just stay still while Jack's pounding heartbeat drove me closer to insanity by the second.

He stood there in silence for about a minute, and I found that counting each second that ticked by helped. It helped me focus on something besides killing him. God, where was Jasper?

"What did you do?" He asked in such a quiet voice, but it sounded loud as it completely shattered the silence. He placed his hand over my neck, and in a sharp stab of fear, I remembered the make up. That was going to come off! If his skin rubbed at all on mine, it was going to come right off onto his hand.

Bad idea! Bad idea!

"Don't touch her." Emmett snapped, but I stayed nervous.

He pulled his hand away, and I felt him move. Further along the tray before replacing his hand on my stomach. He could have easily been feeling for some kind of breathing, but that was where I was caught. His hand slid a little bit in the heavy amount of make-up, and he quickly pulled his hand away.

"What the fuck?" He muttered to himself, obviously puzzled, but that triggered me. I breathed in.

Fuck it, I thought. He's better off dead, anyway.

The second I started to move, gaining Jack's attention in slow human reflex, Emmett started forward, but I was already pouncing. I managed a very nice bite on his shoulder, ignoring his sharp shout of surprise as he fell back. I landed on him, but was yanked violently away from him the second blood started to fill my mouth.

I let out the loudest, angriest snarl I'd ever let out and turned on Emmett just as the door opened and Carlisle strode in.

"Get out of here." Carlisle told Jack firmly over the sound of my snarl and struggling to keep me from killing him. Jack turned over and hauled ass out the door.

I managed several good bites to Emmett's upper arms and shoulder before he managed to pin me to the floor. With my fight, it was hard even for Emmett to keep me down. Carlisle jogged over to try to help, given Emmett's loud growls of pain, but I slipped away. Carlisle caught me, pinning me next but I wasn't okay with that. This triggered another, more fearful part of me.

By the sound of his own loud growls of pain from up the hall, I knew Jack hadn't made it very far.

"I am not sucking on him." Emmett announced, his tone heavy with pain. I was still in the middle of an intensely upset tantrum, so trading off again took time. The second Carlisle moved to get off of me, I flung myself forward. Nearly making it to the door before Emmett grabbed onto me. My hand clung onto the door frame, but with Emmett's yank, my fingers gouged through the wood and metal in an almost comical way.

"Get her home." Carlisle told him, turning.

"Do you really trust me to get this runt through town on my own?" Emmett asked, stopping him in his tracks, "It might be better just to let her finish him off- Ouch!" I'd turned and managed a bite while he was talking and I nearly got away, but he managed to catch me again with his other hand, "If I have to pin her, people are gonna freak out." Right. Because I was naked.

Carlisle was torn. I could see it, but it didn't help my tantrum any.

"Just.. Go help him." Emmett said, "I've got her for now." Without waiting, Carlisle turned. Leaving the room and closing the door behind him, despite the fact that it wouldn't shut all the way, but that wasn't a problem. I could smell it. I still had a direct smell of Jack's blood that no longer flowed from the wound I'd given him. It'd healed shut.

I knew that before Carlisle even said anything.

"What did that bitch fucking do to me?" Jack demanded loudly, and I clenched my teeth.

"It's too late." Carlisle spoke mainly to himself, and as pissed as I still was, that was a sobering statement, and I started to calm down. I still trembled, but I didn't resist as hard. It was making it through the fog of anger what I'd just done.

"Well, we need to move him then." Emmett replied, "Or someone's gonna come looking." He sighed hard in heavy disappointment, "Shorty."

He released me with one hand to remove his jacket before switching off, and draped it around me.

I stopped breathing as a second later, Carlisle dragged Jack into the room and pushed the door closed.

"Killing him wouldn't work, would it?" Emmett asked, looking down at him on the floor.

"No." Carlisle sighed, "The only way would be to drain him completely of blood, but the only one willing to do that would be Leandra, and I'm not allowing that. No matter the consequences."

"You know what this means." Emmett pointed out, "We've gotta babysit him." I looked over sharply, "Everyone is going to flip out."

"I know." Carlisle sighed, shaking his head. Jack was obviously passed the point of being able to speak, or even pay attention to what we were talking about.

I looked over at the sound of Alice's arrival.

"I'll go stall her." Emmett suggested, "Come on, shorty." With one more glance down at Jack, I left with him. We made it to the end of the hallway, finding Alice and keeping her from going any closer.

"What is going on?" She asked, obviously deeply concerned.

"We're not keeping him." I told Emmett, shoving open the door. The burst of fresh air outside helped immensely.

"I'll talk to Carlisle about.. Err.. Humanely euthanizing him after he's done, but no promises." Emmett replied, "You know how he is."

"She bit him." Alice sighed, understanding.

"I didn't get there to stop her in time." Emmett explained, "And this little monster wasn't helping either."

"I tried." I defended myself, "But he figured out that the bruises were fake."

"The point is," Emmett countered, "He's our responsibility now, shorty. We can't just.. Turn someone and run off. That's not how it works."

I glared down at the ground.

"Him or me." I growled, "You can't make me stay around him."

"This poses a problem." He muttered, looking to Alice, "It's not like we can just send her to Tanya."

"I agree." Alice murmured, "They wouldn't take it very well."

"Can Jasper even handle two newborns at once?" He frowned.

"Do you know anything about his past?" She asked in reply.

"Okay," He said, "What about two newborns who hate each other?"

"I'm not-"

"He can handle it." Alice cut me off, and I glared over at her, "For now, I'll take her home and fill the others in. You stay here with Carlisle."

"There's nothing to fill them in with." I snapped, "Him or me."

"You're not running off on your own." She replied, "Stop it."

"You can't make me stay." I frowned, "Not with him."

"You did it." Emmett pointed out.

"I told you it was a bad idea." I looked over at him now, "But you made me do it anyway."

"We'll discuss this later." Alice shut us both up, "Just.. Go inside, Emmett."

I grudgingly returned home with Alice, angrily heading for my room to find some clothes. I was still edgy, the taste of blood still in my mouth.

"Leandra?" Esme asked, concerned.

"It was a dumb idea!" I called from my room.

Alice sighed, "We've got a problem."

I listened to her explain without offering any explanation of my own. Crossing the hall into the bathroom to take a shower. I wanted to get all this crap off of me, and knowing none of it helped bugged me even more.

I turned off the water once I was clean, and the silence in the room was heavy. I crossed the hall, back into my room to get dressed. I knew they were still talking about me, but suddenly, my attention was taken outside.

I could hear whispering once again. Just under the sound of the others discussing what I'd done in the other room, outside, there were at least two small whispering voices.

"I hear you." I whispered under my breath, hoping they'd hear me this time. The voices stopped for a moment, and I worried I'd scared them off.

Until I heard a distinct voice in reply, "Come out."

I didn't even think twice. I silently opened the window and slipped outside. I paused outside, listening to them continue talking inside before I darted away from the house. Toward the sound of the whispers.

"Follow."

 **A/N: Yet another horrible spot to leave you, but I had to. Or this chapter would have gotten too long. (: I'm sorry if this chapter seems a bit rushed. I had a lot to fit in in a small spot.  
THANK YOU! To my AMAZINGLY AWESOME reviewers! I had a feeling the lack of reviews for 11 had a lot to do with the bug that was going on with the site when I released it. I'm glad that's all it was. (:**  
 **Thirteen should be out within a few days. At least, I'll sure try. I can't leave you guys hanging longer than that. RL is about to pick up again, but I'll do my best.**  
 **Until Thirteen, my wonderful friends!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

It didn't bother me yet how these voices were leading me away from my family. I just followed.

There was definitely someone there, just up ahead of me, but they stayed just out of my line of sight, which only made me suspect that I was following another few vampires. I couldn't tell, though, because there was no scent to who I was following. We eventually turned, heading south, and I worried for a second about the position of the sun in the sky. If they didn't stop soon, we'd hit the populated areas. How far was I going to be following? My curiosity was still strong enough to keep me going, but the further we went, the more that curiosity no longer mattered.

Thankfully, we must have been sufficiently far enough away from home, as they stopped. I stopped instantly, not wanting to approach too closely at first.

I frowned as I jogged to a stop. Concerned now at the three new scents ahead of me, where there hadn't been any before. I'd just started to get worried by the fact that I was out here alone, when one of them spoke.

"Don't be scared." The voice that called to me was clearly immortal, but also very young. A young boy, more specifically. It was so strange to hear him clear now, instead of just in a whisper, but I definitely recognized it as one of the voices that had been outside all those times.

"I'm not." I called back hesitantly, but that was a lie.

"Can we come closer?" The boy asked.

"Yeah." I muttered, finding comfort in the fact that they would ask. I studied the three that approached, surprised by what I saw. These were kids, not one of them any older than I was. The front-most boy looked physically about where I should have been at my age, the second boy as well, but the third was a girl, looking physically about six.

"Don't be scared." The boy repeated, "I'm Gage. This is Brett," He pointed to the other boy, and the girl last, "And that's Reese."

Gage himself had short light brown hair, typical crimson eyes. He was about as tall as I was, which wasn't very tall. Just as skinny as I was. Brett was about an inch taller than us, with darker brown hair, as well as the same crimson eyes as Gage. Reese was a tiny thing. She stood there, staring at the ground, her long, yellow-blonde hair falling in ringlets on either side of her slightly pudgy baby face. Brett held her hand, and I gathered that that was to make her feel better.

The first look at these three puzzled me. Where had they come from?

"Hi." I greeted quietly. I didn't know what to make of what I was seeing. I had no idea there were any others out there as young as I was. Even younger. I honestly didn't know what to make of them, and that naturally unsettled me.

"We've been following you for awhile." Brett admitted almost apologetically. I knew that.

"Why?" I muttered.

"We were waiting." Gage answered quietly.

"For what?" I wasn't appreciating their vague answers.

"You're like us." Brett pointed out, "It's kind of hard to explain without showing you first."

I frowned so Gage smiled a little, "Us young ones have to stick together."

"Sorry." Brett said, "We're getting ahead of ourselves. Come with us and we'll show you. I'll explain more on the way, but I don't like standing around for too long."

My curiosity was piqued again, and got the better of me, so I nodded. He turned and started off at a slow run, and I followed. The other two bringing up the back. This time we all ran together, which made me feel both slightly better and a little more uneasy.

"Explain?" I prompted, speeding up until I was running right beside Gage. I sensed he was the one in charge of the three of them. I wasn't sure how I knew. I just did.

"We're the ones nobody wants." Brett offered from the back.

"What do you mean?"

"You're just confusing her, Brett." Gage rolled his eyes, "Shut up." He fell quiet, so Gage looked over at me, "I'm sure you've heard about the rule?" _The_ rule.

"About not turning kids." I recalled easily.

"Yeah." He said, "Well, that rule was never really specific. All it said was not to make an immortal child." I nodded, following so far. It made sense to me, because I'd been wondering the same thing.

"Well, nobody likes how non-specific it is." He continued in my silence, "What they don't think about is the bottom line. We're children, but we _can_ learn."

"I know." I was still confused.

"We're made on a whim." He went on, "Someone sees an opportunity, but after our usefulness wears off, we're chased away because it's too risky to keep us around. It's been like that since back when that rule was made."

"Chased away?" I asked, surprised, "By who?"

"Our coven." Brett answered, "If you could even call them that."

"But why?" I was having a hard time understanding. I had absolutely no idea, from any of my three times as a vampire, that this was a problem. And was he suggesting that there were _more_? More than just us?

"See, once our newborn flair wears off, we really don't have much to offer any coven." Gage explained, "We require more than we can provide. We take more than we give, because we're so much weaker than them. It's just.. We're different, and even the attachment to our creators couldn't even keep us safe. Most of the time, it's the coven that chases us off, but sometimes, our creators come to their senses themselves."

That reminded me so much of Rosalie's attitude toward me getting harsher and harsher. I'd seen what he was talking about, so I didn't doubt it in the slightest.

"Too much worry." Brett added quietly, "But that's where Gage comes in."

"I collect all the kids like us that I can and offer them a safe place to stay." Gage said, "Because it can be scary out there on your own. When literally everyone else is bigger and stronger than you, and the only thing you have on your side is speed, it's not easy to be a loner."

"So we avoid them, and stick together." Brett simplified it.

"Avoid who?"

"The adults." Gage replied, "We stay away from them. We try to find places that are safe-"

"But why?"

"Pay attention." Brett sighed, "You know what would happen if the wrong person knew we were alive? Besides. They're not all good."

"There's a _lot_ of bad ones." Gage agreed almost bitterly.

"You mean, you haven't found any adults to help you guys out?"

"You're kidding, right?" Brett asked.

"There are a few older." Gage replied, "But none older than sixteen." That surprised me, so he went on, "For a lot of reasons. One, they're the reason we're here at all. Two, guilty by association. Nobody wants to help us out when they could get into trouble for even knowing we exist. So.. We tend to just do our own thing, and avoid adults at all costs."

"That," Brett said, "And not a whole lot of us have a good past with adults."

"What do you mean?" I asked again.

"Think about it." He said as we all stopped, "What reason would we have to be turned if we would have all had a decent life? We were all used up and tossed aside in our human life as much as we were in this life."

I finally looked around me.

We had come to a stop outside of a very abandoned building on the outskirts of Tacoma, right beside a river. It used to be some kind of factory or warehouse, its entire front face filled with old and broken windows. Large open doors gave it a slightly more open look, instead of pure creepiness.

"So we watched." Gage went on, "Since that first night you went running. We were waiting for you to run away so we could catch you and talk to you, and I'm glad you were listening today."

"Why?"

"Because this is how it starts." Brett replied instead, and I looked over, "You mess up, and they talk." I looked down.

Reese stepped away, running toward the building while we stood there.

"She doesn't talk." Gage explained quietly, answering a question I didn't know I had. I could understand that.

"She looks familiar." I admitted, "Where did you guys find her?"

"Nobody knows her story, but she's attached herself to Shannon."

"Shannon is one the oldest of us." Brett offered, "She made it to thirteen." I nodded a little, "Reese is the youngest. We've never found any others as young as her."

"We found Reese on one of our trips south." Gage went on, "All alone, of course, scared to death hiding out behind the thrift store in some small city in Georgia." Hmm. She couldn't be familiar then.

"How many of you are there?" I asked, deeply curious. Finally asking the question that had been plaguing me since I first started learning about them.

"Altogether, there's thirteen of us." Gage answered, "You would make fourteen. Some come and go, but nobody goes out alone. That's one of our only rules."

I nodded again.

"You said Shannon is _one_ of the oldest?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah." Brett replied, "There are three older than her. They keep everybody out of trouble. They're out right now, but Olivia should be back soon. She and Shane took the younger ones out for a hunt earlier, before they went back out."

"They're the closest to adults we'll trust." Gage added, "Nicole and Shane are sixteen. The strongest, and the ones that protect us. Olivia is fifteen, and she helps Shannon and me keep everyone from killing each other."

The more I heard about this group, the more interested I got.

"Gage." We all looked over at the sound of his name being called. An older girl approached with long, straight brown hair. She spotted me and studied me a bit as she came to our side, "Oh, good. You guys got her. Welcome. I'm Shannon."

"I'm Leandra." I replied quietly and she smiled.

"Nice name." She said.

"Thanks." I mumbled, "But I don't know if I'll stay."

"It really is up to you." She said, "Most don't turn us down, but we leave the option open to those that do. But.. Feel free to look around."

"What did you need?" Gage asked, bringing her attention back.

"Oh," She said, "I just wanted to tell you that the last hunting party got back about an hour ago, but Shane and Liv went to meet up with Nichole. I need you and Liv to lead the rest tonight."

"No problem." Gage replied, "Reese needs a hunt too."

"I'll be taking her myself tonight." Shannon replied, "She won't go hunting with Toby or Nick anymore after what happened the last time."

I was slowly getting an idea about how this whole group worked.

"Reese can't hunt on her own?" I asked, once again, curious.

"She can," Shannon allowed, "But we don't want her to. She has trouble with it sometimes." That made sense.

"How was Cody?" Brett asked, "Did he behave?"

"He did, actually." Shannon replied, surprised, "I don't know what you said to him yesterday, but it worked. Hopefully he stays that way." She sighed and looked to me, "I'm sorry. How rude of us."

"No," I said, "I don't mind."

She smiled again, "Come on. We'll show you around, and you can meet everyone."

I walked with her now, Brett and Gage following us toward the building. The closer we got, the more scents I picked up. Individual voices echoing inside, a few hushing as we neared.

"Line up." Shannon called as soon as she was inside. Instantly, a line of kids formed in front of us. To my amusement, Brett and Gage did as well. I only counted eight there in line, though.

"Cody." Shannon rolled her eyes. He suddenly appeared, shoving his way between Brett and Gage. She looked at him, "Thank you." Nine.

It was pretty surprising to see how much control she had over these kids.

"Left to right, oldest to youngest." She told me, "It's easier to keep track of the younger ones when we do it that way." I nodded, looking to the two boys furthest left. It was surprising to see that they were twins. Identical in every way, including scent. It was pretty interesting to see them like this. Both had longer medium brown hair, and the only way I could tell them apart was by their clothing.

"Those two trouble-makers are Toby and Nick." Shannon started, "They still argue about who's older, but they're both ten." Beside those two was another girl, so Shannon moved on, "Don't call this one Mandy, or she'll hurt you. This is Amanda. She's ten as well." Amanda seemed pretty bitter, but I recognized a lot of the contempt in her eyes as something I carried around with mine. Her red hair braided back out of her porcelain face.

Beside Amanda, was Gage, and to Gage's right was another boy with darker blonde hair. More of the color of dead grass.

"You know Gage," Shannon told me, "Next is Cody. He's eight. Brett is eight, Lisa is seven, Mary is six, and Reese is.. Five? I think. She's never told me her age."

Lisa and Mary both had brown hair, but Mary seemed a little stockier than Lisa was. Lisa was almost a twig. Mary had a rounder face, clearer crimson eyes.

"Guys," Shannon addressed them now, "This is Leandra. She's visiting today."

"How old are you?" Mary asked quietly.

"Nine." I answered her just as quietly.

"Ha." Cody barked, "Another nine. In your face, eights."

"Stop it." Shannon rolled her eyes.

"If we're going by vampire years, who's older?" Brett shot back, and that shut him up, "That's what I thought, kid."

"Why are your eyes like that?" Lisa piped up next. I'd be lying if I told myself I wasn't expecting that question. My eyes were about a shade different than theirs. Just barely enough to notice.

"I'm trying to learn how to not hunt people." I answered, "And hunt animals, instead." A collective frown of confusion and some disgust followed.

"Can that work?" Shannon asked, obviously very interested.

"Yeah." I replied, "It's definitely not as good as human blood, but it works if you want to stay out of trouble. It makes your eyes gold, instead of red."

"Ew." Cody muttered.

"Hey," Gage told him, "It's a good idea. Shannon, we can do that when we're hiding out."

"What, like rabbits and stuff?" Mary asked, "I don't wanna hunt rabbits."

"Me either." Lisa admitted almost silently, shaking her head.

"No," I said, "Rabbits are too small. Deer, or bears or stuff like that."

"Hunting bears?" Nick asked, suddenly excited, "Man, that sounds like way more fun. Do they fight back?"

"If you want them to." I replied, "Especially if you piss them off in the winter." He laughed in response, Toby joining in. I spoke again, "Pretty much any animal out there is fair game. It keeps you away from the humans, and all the adults will be hunting humans, so there's almost no chance you'll run into them."

"That's perfect." Amanda looked over at Gage, as if looking for his approval.

"Is that why we've never run into your coven before?" Gage asked, "Do they hunt animals too?"

"Yeah." I answered, "They never hunt people."

"Another rule that's impossible to follow." Brett muttered.

"We've been here for a little over two years." Shannon said, "We've done what we can to stay well clear of your coven's territory. South and east only."

"Are they nice?" Mary asked, "Is your coven nice? Is that why you don't leave?"

"They're very nice." I assured her, "So if you do run into them, you don't need to worry. They're the nicest people I know." Nervously, she looked over at Brett.

"We'll keep doing what we do." Brett nodded, "It's better to avoid them."

"I agree." Cody grumbled, "Don't need that mess in our lives. We're doing just fine on our own."

"So what's your story, kid?" Toby asked, and I looked over at him. My story?

"Rude." Shannon frowned.

"No, it's okay." I hesitated, "You first, though." I wasn't quite sure what he meant.

"Huge car accident." Toby replied, "Ten years ago. Nobody even noticed we were gone. We were taken by a pair of nomads that had no idea what they were getting themselves into."

I got the idea now. My story. What happened to make me this way.

"I ran away from home." Mary offered without me asking, "When my dad killed my mom. I was on my own when my vampire found me. She went hunting one day and never came back for me. Brett found me after that." She looked over at him.

"Cody died in a fire." Nick said, gesturing over at him, "His mom got drunk and torched his house while he was still inside."

"Shut up." Cody snapped, and I could tell it was sore subject. For good reason.

"I don't remember how I died." Lisa mumbled quietly, "This is all I can remember."

Amanda spoke up bitterly, "I won't go into mine. My vampires found me in a dumpster in Chicago." I winced, looking down.

"I was kidnapped." Brett spoke next, "Never found the guy, but my vampires were worse than he was." That certainly explained why he seemed to be more against involving any adults than the others. He wasn't treated right in this life either.

"Me too." Gage said, "I was tied up and left for dead in the middle of the woods once he was done with me."

"My dad killed me." Shannon finally murmured, "He was super drunk one day when I came home from school. He tried to bury me while I was still a little bit alive."

All these stories were so sad. It made me feel so bad for them.

"They think they're helping." Amanda mumbled, "By changing us, but.. When we're not useful anymore, we're more trouble than we're worth. It doesn't take long for them to figure that out."

"I knew my coven before." I finally said, and they all listened, "They tried to help me while I was human, but I was just too hurt. I was beaten too bad, and.. Other stuff."

"Been there." Amanda muttered bitterly.

"Me too." Gage added.

"I think most of us have." Brett nodded a little.

"It's that other stuff that really gets to you." Shannon said supportively. They knew what I meant by that. I was glad I didn't have to go into details.

"My stepdad is the one that did it." I went on, "They brought me back to their house before I died." Gage nodded, understanding.

"I wanna meet them." Mary mumbled, and I quickly got the feeling that these kids were as curious about them as they were about me.

" _No_." Brett immediately told her, and she looked down, "You know the rule. No adults. They can't be trusted." I also got the feeling that they'd been forbidden by their own rule from approaching any adult. All they knew about them was what they'd experienced, and refused to give anyone any chances.

"These ones can." I offered.

"That's what we were told." Mary murmured, her tone sad. I looked over as Reese finally moved, coming forward to stand with Shannon. Mary spoke again, "We were the lucky ones. Sometimes they don't bother to let us go. They just kill us, and we can't fight back."

"It happens more than you think." Nick agreed with her.

"It usually happens to the ones that don't want to run." Toby added, "The stubborn ones."

I looked down, surprised, as Reese reached out and put her tiny hand in mine. It saddened me to see how much bigger my hand was than hers, and it really hit hard how young she was when she was turned. I was certainly small for my age, but she was smaller. She really couldn't have been more than four or five.

I felt horrible for her. I couldn't help crouching down so I could see her better. She looked at me, and I just knew. She had seen too much. I felt an odd sort of connection to her.

She stepped forward, dropping my hand only to wrap her arms around my neck. Of course I returned it. There was no way I couldn't hug her back.

"She never does that." Amanda spoke sadly, "She doesn't even hug Shannon." That broke my heart. She held onto me tight, even as I went to stand up. Carefully picking her up with me. I was so suddenly protective of this little girl, and I could easily understand the look on Shannon's face. She understood.

"That's what we do." Shannon murmured, "We find the lost ones and give them a place to go. Some of us feel a connection to each other. Where we just know someone else would benefit most from our personality, or would be the best for our personal healing. I think Reese has picked you."

"As kids," Mary spoke up, and we looked to her, "We see more. At least that's what Shannon says."

"It's true." She replied, "They still see things in a different way than the adults do. They still have an extra sense when it comes to observing the world around them. Immortality couldn't take that away from them."

"Maybe this is why I been having a hard time." I wondered, mostly to myself.

"We're different." Gage murmured, "Not just in our instincts, but we don't fit. You would have a hard time fitting in with your coven."

"We've never come across one that does." Cody spoke quietly, almost as if he was nervous about speaking up at all, "For.. Whatever reason."

Though that made sense, it also made me sad. All these kids were chased away by their creators or their coven. I couldn't imagine the amount of pain that kind of rejection would cause, just because of a vague rule set in place however many years before.

"I just don't get it." I mumbled, "Why?"

"They have their reasons." Brett answered, stepping forward as the small group slowly dispersed, "We've been asking ourselves the same question, though."

"Nothing but cowards." Toby spoke up from the side, and Nick looked over as well, "The whole lot of them."

"But they just keep making them." Nick added quietly, "I wish they'd think before just turning us, but since nobody knows we exist, there's nothing there to teach them not to."

Shannon shook her head and I looked at her, "I've spent enough time around these guys to know. The ones who change us go into this knowing all about the rule against creating immortal children, but it's never really specific. The whole time, they're scared of the consequences, so once they figure out that we're not as strong as they are and that they require just as much affection and protection as a normal kid would, it becomes too much work. We lose our worth, and it's easy to toss us.

"They don't get that a kid is just a kid. They need stability and they build bonds to their creators just like any kid would to their parents. They need a lot of patience to learn, to be trained. They need more guidance than a normal newborn. None of them ever think that maybe.. Their old ways won't work."

"Stuck in their ways." Gage added.

"When these kids don't get that patience or guidance, they act out." Shannon went on, "These creators don't get that chasing them off or abandoning them hurts them in more than one way. Immortal or not, rejection hurts."

This made a lot of sense as well. Especially considering what Edward and Esme had said my first night. They were on the right track, apparently, but not enough. All of this was making me see that the way Jasper was trying to train me wouldn't work. Why nothing he had been trying had worked so far. It explained so much.

"You said we're different." I mumbled, "Why are we different?"

"I don't really know." She replied apologetically, "I think it has something to do with how young you are. Olivia says a mind changes when you grow up, and it works differently than a kid's does. We have different instincts, and use more of our senses than the older ones do."

"Now I get it." I nodded a little, "Is that why I could hear you, but everyone else couldn't?"

"Mostly." Gage nodded, "They forget how to listen like we do."

I stuck around. I listened to stories, and learned all I could about these other kids. It made me feel a lot less alone. Before I even knew it, over two hours had passed, and I realized that I still hadn't been hunted down yet by my family.

"Gage?" He was closest to me, so I'd ask him about it. He looked over, "How haven't I been followed yet?"

He laughed a little in understanding.

"Reese." He replied simply, "From what we've figured out, she has an ability. She hides."

"Hides?" I asked, curious.

"If she doesn't want to be found," He explained, "She won't be. She hides scents. Hers, and anyone else's around her so she can't be tracked. Which is mostly the reason why we don't let her hunt alone." He laughed, "We'd never find her again."

I frowned in thought as he told me that. It definitely sounded familiar, so I searched my memories for the answer. I recalled it fairly easily.

"Eli." I spoke out loud, and gained a pretty strong reaction from Reese sitting in my arms. She leaned back and looked straight at me with what I could only describe as desperation. She clearly recognized that name.

"Who?" Gage asked, surprised at her reaction.

"Eli." I said again, tightening my grip as Reese bounced excitedly in my arms, "He's another vampire I met.. I guess a long time ago. He could do almost the same thing she could, except his gift was a little different." I looked at Reese, "Did you know him?"

Before I could even hope for a reply, she hopped down and ran off.

"Okay." I laughed a little, Gage laughing as well. I had to admit. I really liked it here. I loved how easy it was here. With no real expectations or rules to weigh me down, and I really liked talking to Gage. He seemed like someone I could really get along with. Brett was almost the same way, but I sensed he seemed to be hiding a lot under the surface. Gage was as open as the twins were.

Toby and Nick were the most at ease of everyone. Off toward the back of the large, open building, they kept Mary and Lisa entertained with, what looked like, an elaborate drawing on the wall with some kind of chalk.

Brett was sitting on one of the rafters near the high ceiling, watching everyone below him, and I hadn't seen Amanda or Cody since they walked away. I knew they were here, though, by their scent. Shannon was outside, probably keeping watch for us.

I did like it here, but I would have to hunt soon. It'd been bothering me since I left, and soon, it wouldn't be ignored anymore. That would be a problem if none of them had ever hunted animals before.

I considered it. I really did, and it was very tempting to just give in and hunt with the others that night.

"What's wrong?" Gage noticed my distraction.

"Thirsty." I admitted sheepishly, and he shook his head.

"I know that." He replied, "Your eyes have been getting darker fast. I mean, what else is wrong?"

"I can't make up my mind." I sighed, and together, we started walking. Around the perimeter of the building, staying inside.

"About going back?" He asked.

"Yeah." I mumbled, "I like it here."

"Then stay." He suggested, "I mean, not to pressure you or anything, but we could really use someone like you, and if you're having that hard of a time trying to talk yourself into going back, then why bother going back?"

"Just a feeling I have." I said, "It's not their fault I don't want to go back. I.. Kinda screwed up today."

"I heard them talking." He nodded a little, "But what did you do?"

"I bit somebody." I answered, "The very last person in the world I should have bitten."

"That's not good." He frowned a little, "Are they watching him?"

"Yeah." I replied, "But I won't. They never should have made me do that. I get that he was my last human tie, but.. I told them something would go wrong."

"That's a tough one." He murmured, "But we can't make you stay. Our little group wouldn't work the way it does if we forced people to stay."

"I know. It's just hard."

"You're welcome to stay as long as you need to to make up your mind." He offered, "You're pretty safe here with Reese doing.. Whatever she does. Sometimes, I don't think she even knows she's doing it."

We both paused, turning back to look outside at the sound of two others approaching.

"Finally." I heard Shannon sigh from outside, so they were obviously welcome.

"It's just Shane." Gage explained, "And Olivia."

Shannon followed the two inside, and all three stopped just inside the building. I watched them, curious but cautious. I knew now that it was instinct to distrust these two older ones.

My first impression of Shane was strict. He reminded me a lot of Jasper in the way he carried himself, but a little tougher than that. Olivia seemed a lot nicer, thankfully. Greeting Mary with a loving smile and a hug as she approached her.

Before Shane had even noticed me, though, he was talking to the other kids.

"No more hunts tonight." He told them, much to their disapproval given the collective whine from the twins, Cody and Amanda.

"Why?" Shannon asked, clearly surprised.

"Nichole has spotted some nomads in the area." He answered her, "It isn't safe. Shannon, I need you to take Reese out and cover our tracks, but don't go too far. Just far enough that they can't stumble on us."

"Sure." She replied easily, gesturing Reese forward.

Nomads? I frowned and looked down, ignoring Gage as he looked over.

"Nobody goes out until we decide it's safe." Shane added.

"What about Leandra?" Lisa piped up, pointing at me, "What about her?" He _did_ say nobody goes out. Shane looked over as I looked back up. His gaze made me feel a bit insecure, making me edgy and nervous. Especially as I thought more about these nomads.

"Three of them?" I asked before Shane could even reply to Lisa's question.

"Yeah." He replied hesitantly, "You know them?"

"No." I said, "I don't _know_ them, but I know _of_ them." My tone was quiet, and I was suddenly worried as I realized that these were the same nomads I'd warned my family of in the beginning. All of that hadn't even happened yet.

"Well," He said, "I take it you're not sure you're staying?"

"I don't know." I replied sheepishly.

"Then you should get comfortable here for the next day or two." He murmured, "Because I'm not risking letting Reese take you back."

"Days?" I asked, surprised, "I can't go days."

"She's brand new." Brett spoke up from the rafter he still sat on, "Like.. Not even a week old. She needs to hunt, Shane."

He cursed under his breath, and I bit my lip.

"Alright." He finally said, "Just sit tight until nightfall, and I'll take you." Before anyone else could speak up, though, he looked around, "Just her. The rest of you have waited longer." Though they seemed disappointed, the rest of them seemed to understand.

"No," I mumbled, "I have to go back."

"That's too far." He replied quickly, "Forks, right? Way too far." He knew they'd been watching me.

"But my coven-"

"Will be safer if you stay put." He replied, his tone surprisingly gentle, "Your scent will lead whatever nomad that crosses it right to them."

"What about Reese?" Gage asked.

"Like I said," Shane sighed, "It's too much of a risk sending her out that far when nomads are around. I'm sorry. I'm sure they're aware, anyway."

He had a point. It definitely explained why Rosalie didn't want me to hunt while Carlisle was out, and why Jasper agreed with her.

So instead of arguing further, I just nodded. He nodded as well, looking to the others just as Shannon and Reese returned. He really didn't seem like a bad guy.

I was still nervous, though as he walked over to us seconds later. Unable to help the small step back at his too-quick approach.

"It's okay." He assured me easily, holding both hands up. He definitely seemed like he'd handled someone like me before, and knew how to ease my worry a bit. I vaguely wondered why Gage didn't try to calm me down too, but I was more focused on me.

Shane spoke quietly, "I just wanted to talk to you without standing across the room." I hesitantly nodded a little, "You're brand new, so I need to know how much you've been taught about hunting by your coven so far."

He was nice enough, but weirdly, I found it hard to talk to him when he was this close. Across the giant building was one thing, but within reaching distance was different. I was honestly having a hard time responding, which was weird when I'd just been talking to him. When I couldn't, I just looked down.

"Oh." Gage seemed to understand, "Oh, okay. Want me to talk to him for you?" I nodded, "It's okay. Brett was the same way at first, and Amanda didn't talk to Shane or even Olivia for the first three weeks." That made me feel so much better. I didn't feel as stupid.

He looked to Shane, who also seemed to understand. He offered a small smile, but I just looked down.

"She says her coven only hunts animals." Gage told him, "It works, but it's different."

Shane frowned, "That is different. I've never heard of doing that, but I guess in theory it could work. Is that what you would prefer?" He was looking at me again, so I hesitated. He was giving me a choice. I swallowed nervously against the burn in my throat that this conversation stoked, looking up at him. He seemed to read my expression like an open book.

He laughed a little, "We'll get you a human. I won't tell you cheated." I couldn't help smiling a little at the way he said that, "Anything else I should know?"

"She said that she slipped up earlier this morning, and bit a human, but they stopped her."

"That's.." Shane frowned, "Cruel, but whatever. I'm not out to tell a coven how to train their newborns, but I promise not to stop you." I nodded a little at the floor, "Anything else?"

"I don't know." Gage replied before looking to me, "Anything else?" I hesitated again, and I shrugged. I didn't know much about hunting humans besides killing the closest one.

"Typical newborn." Shane nodded a little in understanding, "Okay. I can work with that. Just hang on a little bit longer, okay? I know it's hard. Especially after bring stopped earlier."

I tried, but I really couldn't. I held out for just over an hour before I had to find him and beg him wordlessly to let me hunt.

Thankfully, it didn't take much to convey what I wanted. He gathered Shannon and Reese anyway, probably for the protection Reese offered. He seemed okay with bringing them along, so I had a feeling Reese's ability stuck wherever she had been.

It was trickier going out on a midday hunt, but it wasn't impossible. We didn't go far at all, considering we were right on the outskirts of Tacoma. I could see why they wouldn't want to do this too often, though. It was really close, and hunting too often close to where they chose to stay would just bring attention to the area. This was an exception, though. One, I was desperate and two, I was very inexperienced. The fewer people around when setting me loose, the better.

I appreciated how patient Shane was with me, though. Instead of giving me all these speeches about what I shouldn't do, he explained the way I should do it. There was a massive difference.

He taught me to hold my breath until an opportunity wandered by. It would help me keep my head until the last possible second. He taught me to just pick one and follow them. To make sure they were alone. He taught me to move quick, and be thorough. Leave no traces, but eliminate the possibility of detection. To just grab and run if the area wasn't that safe from prying eyes.

He taught me that the best ones to go for were the factory workers, since their job was dangerous in itself. Leave the business people alone, as there was almost guaranteed someone to be either with them or waiting on them. Go for the older ones, as they were already guaranteed to have either screwed up their lives, or have lived enough life compared to the younger ones. Plus, that left the humans in their twenties and thirties to breed and continue on our food source.

It was funny to think about it like that, but it made sense.

Generally the males were better to hunt on, as they were bigger and provided more blood where females would take more to sustain us.

With his direction, I managed to pick someone, grab them and run off within half a second. I snapped this guy's neck before he could make a sound.

To my surprise, it took two humans before I was actually satisfied. Reese even managed to pluck one off for herself, and it was really the first time I was comfortable with feeding with someone else right next to me.

We returned to the building within thirty minutes, and I certainly felt better. I couldn't help feeling a little guilty, though. Not because I'd hunted humans, but because I did so behind my family's back.

"I think I'd call that a success." Shane smiled a little at me, "You did very well, kid." I smiled in return, feeling good about myself instead of ashamed like I probably would have been if Jasper knew about this.

Almost immediately after we got back to the warehouse, I went back to dwelling on the problems that waited for me when I did go back home, and I was certainly tempted to just wave all that off and stay here. Here, there were no problems and there was no Jack. I didn't want to face what I'd done, and it was almost too easy to choose not to face it.

Here, I would probably be safe from Aro, too. Considering this group's main goal was to stay undetected, secrecy was everything to them. Of course, I would eventually have to disclose my gift and what that would mean to him, but I was scared.

And as tempted as I was to stay, I knew I'd eventually have to go back. I owed them more than just vanishing without a trace. I couldn't deny that I felt more at home here than I did there, but then again, I hadn't yet given them a real chance. Too many things had been going on at once to have given them a chance.

They were probably already pissed at me, though. For what I'd done, and for disappearing on them. My mind continued on in circles. I had no idea how I was supposed to go home when I'd screwed up this badly.

I spent hours, well passed nightfall dwelling on all this crap. I wasn't even sure where Gage had wandered off to, but I didn't mind my alone time. It was nice to be ignored for once. Shane and Olivia stayed around, keeping watch on everyone just inside the doors to the building.

"Thinking?" I jumped a little at Brett's voice above me. I hadn't heard his approach in the rafters.

"Yeah." I muttered, looking up at him, "I know it's stupid, but I don't want to face what I did."

"Exiling yourself isn't really the answer either." He replied, jumping down to land next to me, "There's probably a reason why it's bugging you this bad. You're a little stuck here for the next few days, so use those days to figure out that reason."

That seemed reasonable.

He was about to speak again, when an argument between Nick and Amanda broke out on the far other side of the building, and we both looked over just as she pounced on him, dragging him down to the dusty floor.

"Get him, Amanda." Brett called just as Shane reached their side to attempt to break it up. It didn't take much to pry them apart, but Amanda was still pissed.

Shane shoved Nick back while Olivia showed up from outside to lead Amanda back. With just a stern finger from Shane, Nick turned and walked away. Back to Toby's side. Both of them giving a dangerous glare back at Amanda, who was now getting a firm but quiet talking to.

"Wow." I muttered, and Brett looked over at me.

"That sort of thing happens sometimes." He replied, "Everyone gets a little tense when Nichole isn't back when she's supposed to be."

"Plus the no hunting thing." I understood, and he nodded.

"That too." He agreed, "Now they'll be separated for the rest of the night, and tomorrow, it'll be like nothing ever happened."

"This happens a lot?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah." He laughed as if it were obvious, "The twins love to pick on her until she snaps."

"Why?" I frowned, "That doesn't seem fair."

"It's worse when Cody and her get into it." He said, "They all fight all the time, but in the end, we all know they have each other's back."

That made me really think about what Mikah was saying. If I hadn't seen an example like this, it probably wouldn't have sunk in like it did just now. I looked back over at the twins. They were now talking to Cody, exactly like nothing had happened, and Amanda was further off to the side. Olivia was still talking to her, but she didn't seem as upset anymore.

"Leandra," Brett spoke again, and I looked to him, "No matter what Gage was saying before, I have a feeling this coven of yours is different."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Anyone with eyes can see that you weren't ready to leave them." He replied, "You weren't chased off or abandoned like the rest of us. That attachment hasn't been broken yet, or you wouldn't have that look on your face."

He had a point. I knew he had a point, but I looked down anyway.

"Believe me." He went on, "We talk bad about the adults, but I know one-hundred percent that half of these kids would have given their left arm just to be able to stay with their covens. Don't give up on it until you absolutely have to. Having that kind of attachment to someone.. Anyone.. Isn't something you need to give up on. Hold onto it as long as you can. If you still have someone trying to teach you or keep you safe, why would you throw that away?"

The emotion in his voice touched me. It was the sound of someone who knew what he was talking about, because he'd lived it.

"My advice?" He said, "Don't listen to Gage. Don't choose us. Come to us only if you have to, but.. Go home, Leandra."

"I can't." I mumbled, "I'm supposed to stay here, remember?"

"Go home, Leandra." Shane called from where he stood. I looked over, and he was smiling gently, "But be careful, okay? Take the long way back. Last we heard, the nomads were headed straight north. Go east and around." He wasn't mean, he wasn't kicking me out. He was giving me instruction I needed to make it as safely as I could. I couldn't help smiling a little as well.

"Thanks." I managed to tell him, and he gave me a small nod.

"See you around, Leandra." Gage called next, and I took that as my cue to leave.

Shannon and Reese both followed me until I got into Tacoma before they turned back.

"Best of luck." I heard Shannon say as they let me go. I felt like I was leaving them on good terms, and that I'd just made a lot of new friends. I knew what I'd learned there would stick with me for a long time, and with any luck at all, I would be able to teach my family a little more about myself. Without telling them exactly how I'd learned all of this, of course. I couldn't give these kids away like that, because I knew curiosity would just lead my family to find them.

I turned east at the center of Tacoma until I reached the Washington Idaho border before I turned north. Following the border until I got far enough to take a straight shot home. I probably should have gone north well into Canada and just gone south, but I didn't want to take that long.

"Where in the hell have you been?" I heard Alice demanding before I'd even reached the yard. I would have been lying to myself if I said I didn't expect to be interrogated.

"I can't tell you." I replied, finally landing in the middle of the yard, "But those nomads I was telling you about.. They've been around. I shouldn't have come back until it was safe."

I watched as they all came outside. Emmett and Jasper both in the front, Alice and Rose behind them. I half wondered where Esme and Carlisle were, as I wanted to see them, but I was a little distracted.

"Oh, great." Of course Rosalie was first to speak to me from the group I faced, "She came back."

"Shorty," Emmett was next to speak, but I knew he was pissed, "We looked everywhere for you."

"If you'd actually looked _every_ where," I half joked in reply, "You would have found me." I was just trying to lighten them up, because I was a bit nervous facing them the way I was.

"Now isn't the time for jokes, Leandra." Jasper said, "We need to discuss what you've done." I looked down. I wasn't willing to talk about that. Just the mention tried to make me bitter.

"It won't happen again." I told him instead, "I learned a lot."

"You've learned?" Alice asked, frowning a little, "Where you were?" I nodded.

"I was taught how to not hunt humans until it's a good time." I replied, "So-"

"By who?" Jasper asked, obviously not liking that bit of information, "Please tell me you haven't been hunting humans."

"By someone." I answered, "Someone who gets me."

"Leandra, you can't just trust everyone you come across."

"It wasn't him I trusted at first." I admitted, "But he took me hunting after what happened with Jack."

"Hunting humans." It wasn't a question.

"I'm not sorry." I replied defensively, and he sighed, "He taught me how to hunt them, and how not to hunt them."

"Leandra," He said, "It's going to be a thousand times harder to give them up because of this. Who was it?"

"I don't care. I'm still not sorry."

"You're avoiding the question."

"Yeah." I replied, "Because they don't want to be found."

"Now I'm nervous." Emmett added, "Shorty, who are you talking about?"

"No one you have to worry about." I insisted, "Trust me. They're more afraid of you than you are of them. Just leave it."

"They must be pretty important if you're willing to learn from them more than you are from us." Jasper pointed out, his arms crossed.

I wasn't sure how to reply, looking down.

"It wasn't that." I finally said, "It was the _way_ he taught me that made me listen. Like I said. They get me."

"Then why did you come back?" Rosalie demanded, and I glared a little at her.

"Because I want you guys to get me too." I replied, "I can teach you."

"I understand you just fine." Jasper countered, sighing heavily in disappointment as he started forward. I countered his steps with backwards ones of my own, and he paused.

" _That_." I mumbled, "You can't do that." He was about to reply, but Alice spoke to him first.

"Humor her, Jazz. Just listen." She murmured, and he glanced back at her, "And Rose.. Stop being so mean to her. I know you don't approve. We all know. _You_ know it's no more her fault than it was yours, so stop it." I appreciated her speaking up for me. Especially as Rosalie actually seemed to listen to her.

"Okay." Jasper said, looking at me again, "I'm listening."

I took a breath and nodded.

"I'm not like you guys." I started, "I mean, I'm _like_ you, but I'm different. The same things that would work for you won't work for me."

"I'm gathering that." Jasper nodded, crossing his arms.

"Don't walk right at me like that." I said, "It makes me want to run away."

"Then how do you suggest I do it?" He was barely holding onto his patience.

"Slower." I replied, "If I know you're mad at me, I need to get used to you walking at me." He seemed annoyed, but he did as I suggested. I still felt like I wanted to run, but it was tolerable. It was choice, instead of an instinct.

I watched his approach, and though I was tense, I stayed as he came to my side.

"Like that." I told him, "It helps."

"How do you know this now?" He asked, and I hesitated. Thankfully, I heard Carlisle and Esme's fast approach from the north, giving me an excuse not to answer.

Before she'd even fully stopped, Esme was walking toward me. I trusted her, so I walked toward her instead of retreating like I did with Jasper. She hugged me tight, and I returned it carefully.

"What the hell?" Emmett asked, and I looked over, smiling a little at him. I knew he was confused, as he really couldn't understand the difference, and everything about this just contradicted everything I'd just told them, but I wouldn't explain just yet.

"I'm so glad you're okay." Esme sighed, smoothing my hair. This was what I was coming back to. This was why I made the choice to come home. It gave me more of a sense of peace than I had while I was with the Tacoma kids. Even with all the rules, issues, and expectations here, _this_ was what brought me back. It obviously meant more to me than I thought before.

I wasn't willing to give this up yet, and I finally fully understood what the other kids had been getting at. Losing this would kill me, but getting to know those kids and listening to their stories made me really appreciate everything that was offered to me so freely, despite how things happened.

In a big way, I really owed those kids.

 **A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long. Family problems demanded my attention, and I didn't have much in me to focus on this.  
I hope this helped. ;) I hope the wait was worth it. **  
**THANK YOU! To my AMAZING REVIEWERS! BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG THANK YOU!**  
 **Chapter Fourteen might take a bit, as I have a busy week ahead of me, but I should have more time soon.**  
 **Until Fourteen, my amazing friends! :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

"Leandra," Carlisle spoke just moments later, and I looked up at him as I released Esme.

"I know." I mumbled, my slight smile fading, "I messed up bad, but I swear I tried-"

"What we asked you to do was far beyond what you were capable of, and as disappointed as I am, I'm more disappointed in myself than I am in you. I suppose I was hoping it would be simple."

"What are we gonna do?" I couldn't help asking, "I know what Emmett said about how you can't just leave him somewhere, but.."

"The venom won't allow us to.. Dispose of him just yet, but I believe it's possible for a short time before he wakes up." He replied quietly, and I shuddered.

"You can do that part." I mumbled, "Do whatever you have to do. I never wanna see him again." He gave an understanding nod.

"Of course." He said, "We'd never ask that of you." I nodded a little as well.

"What were you doing in Tacoma?" Esme asked me next, and I looked down. That must have been where they had come from. Tracking me.

"Apparently hunting humans." Emmett answered that for me, "And apparently, someone else has been teaching her."

"Just two humans." I admitted at the ground, and Esme looked to me, "And he only taught me a little bit. Like how to not kill the first human that walks by me. I _thought_ that would be a good thing to know."

"Who has been teaching you?" She asked, obviously concerned.

"I can't tell you." I replied, looking up at her, "They don't wanna be found."

"That's all she told us." Jasper added quietly, shaking his head a little.

"Then how did you find them, shorty?" Emmett asked with a confused frown.

"I didn't find them." I replied, "They found me."

"That's _so_ much more comforting." Emmett grumbled sarcastically.

I was about to reply, but I thought of something else.

"You followed me here?" I asked, looking up at Carlisle.

"So that means whoever she was with is near Tacoma." Emmett caught on as well, and I looked back over at him, "It wouldn't be hard to find them."

"We crossed your scent leaving Tacoma, yes." Carlisle told me, "Unfortunately, however, yours wasn't the only one." I tensed a little, "You picked up three followers about three miles into your run east. Those three followers trailed you nearly all the way here."

"No." I frowned, "I would have smelled them."

"Not if they were always behind you." Jasper corrected me, "Aside from that small detail, however, you should have been paying more attention." I looked down. He was right.

"Fortunately," Carlisle went on, "They turned back before they got too close, but it seems now they're aware of us."

For a brief second, I worried about the Tacoma kids, but then I thought about it. They'd been on their own from the start. Staying undetected for a good length of time. They obviously knew what they were doing. There had to have been a lot of other immortals they'd crossed paths with.

I felt confident that they'd be okay.

"Just stay away from them." I muttered, but once again, my thoughts changed directions, "Wait, if you're here.. Who's watching Jack? Wherever he is?"

"He's not going anywhere, shorty." Emmett replied, "Trust me. Even if he wasn't bound in blinding agony, there's no hope for escape where he's at." I nodded a little, sighing.

"I know I messed up," I admitted, "But in a way, I'm glad I did it. I _really_ hope he's suffering. He needs to suffer before he dies."

Nobody replied to that right away. It took a moment before Emmett chuckled.

"That sounded really dark coming from you, shorty." He laughed, and I shrugged a little.

"It's true." I replied, "It's his own stupid fault. All of it. He got what was coming to him."

"Okay, Karma." Emmett laughed, "Easy there."

I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but it didn't matter. I wasn't going to feel bad anymore. It was Jack's fault I was like this at all. He took my life. Sure, it was that fall down the stairs that was the final straw, but bottom line, I wouldn't have been that bad off if he hadn't taken it too far that last beating.

I wouldn't have needed to be turned at all if he hadn't taken it too far.

Then he just couldn't let it go.

"Leandra." Jasper took my attention, and I looked over, "We're willing to compromise if you are. We're not asking you to give up a location, but we need to know who you've been talking to."

"Why does it matter so much?" I sighed.

"For one," He replied, "It's quite clear that you're not the best judge of character."

"I _can't_ tell you." I stressed this time, "Because I know if I do, you'll want to find them. All they want is to be left alone."

"What did they want with you?" Carlisle asked before Jasper could press more, "These others?" I hesitated, thinking about it.

"If I tell you, will you make Jasper shut up about it?"

"If you tell him," Jasper spoke up, "I will stop asking about it." I glanced over at him, and for a moment, I wondered what his angle was, but Jasper had agreed. That was what mattered.

"And.." I went on, looking back up at Carlisle, "Will you promise not to try to find them?"

"If I think it's safe to do so, I will leave them be." He agreed, and I nodded. With a nod of his own, Jasper turned and walked away. No doubt knowing I wanted them to leave before I would say anything. I appreciated that, especially as the others left as well. Esme stayed, though, which I was okay with.

When I considered it safe, keeping track carefully of their scents fading further away, I looked down as I thought about where to start.

"They aren't trying to start any trouble." I started, "They came to me because they wanted to offer me a place with them."

Carlisle instantly frowned a little, "And why is that?"

"Because they're like me. Or I'm like them." I admitted, my voice quieter. He seemed confused, so I decided to explain, "They're kids too. Well, most of them."

I expected the surprise to cross his features. Esme's as well.

"I learned a lot while I was with them today." I went on, "A lot about me, and a lot about how their little group works. I won't tell you where they are, because they don't really trust anyone but a couple of teenagers that take care of them. That's why they don't want to be found."

"That certainly explains a lot." Esme murmured, still surprised.

"Where did they come from?" Carlisle asked.

"Everywhere." I answered sadly, "Most of them were turned like I was, but because of the rule and how different they are, nobody wanted to keep them. So a couple of them found each other, and sort of made up their mind to find all the kids they could, just to give them a safe place to stay when they were abandoned or chased away."

"What did you mean by different?" He asked, thankfully seeming to understand my explanation.

"I'm different." I replied, "It's a little hard to explain, but I know why nothing Jasper tries works. I need to be trained in a different way, because everything he knows about newborns won't work with me."

"How do you mean?" He asked. He was trying to understand, but I really wasn't as good at explaining as Shannon or the others were.

"Age makes a difference in a newborn." I tried another approach, "More than he thought before. He's doing it wrong." I was getting frustrated with myself, trying to explain but it wasn't going as well as I needed it to.

I looked over, though, at the sound of an approach. Given the scent, I was surprised to find out it was Shane. He wasn't approaching fast, so it was clear he'd been there for awhile. Carlisle turned, surprised by the approach but not reacting harshly to it.

"It's just Shane." I explained, "He's okay."

Sure enough, Shane stepped from the trees, but not an inch closer. Before Carlisle could even speak, though, Shane was already talking.

"I completely understand that this is your territory." He said, "All you have to do is say the word and we'll go, but I couldn't help worrying about her. I thought she might need some help explaining her absence, and I couldn't let her face the explanation alone, considering it was partially my fault she was gone so long."

"It's quite alright." Carlisle assured him, "I assume you're a part of this group of kids?"

"I help take care of them." Shane replied, "I share a part of the responsibility of keeping them safe."

"They're here, aren't they?" I asked, and he smiled a little at me.

"Only a few." He replied, "Olivia is guarding the others."

"How?" Esme frowned a little. She obviously couldn't smell any other scents anywhere around.

"Reese." I answered with a small laugh, "It's a long story."

"I understand how big of a risk this must be to you." Carlisle told him, "I appreciate your thought for her well-being, but I promise she's just fine here."

"See," He sighed, "I'm sorry, but it's so hard for you to promise that when you don't seem to have a clue about how to care for her. I'm only here to help you understand a bit more about the needs of an immortal child."

"Please," Esme spoke gently, "Come closer. You don't need to be afraid." He seemed to debate a bit, before he did as she suggested. He came to stand just a few feet away, instead of across the yard. He was putting a large amount of trust in them, and I knew that. All for me.

"I'm Carlisle," Carlisle told him, "And this is Esme."

"Nice to meet you." Shane replied, "I am sorry for trespassing like this."

"Don't be." Esme assured him, "You have her best interest in mind." She gently smoothed my hair in the back.

"Please tell me more about yourself." Carlisle requested, "I admit I'm quite curious."

"Understandable." Shane nodded, "No one ever expects these kids to exist, but it does happen a lot more often than you think. Most never make it out of their coven alive. The risk of blame, and everything, but sometimes, they get lucky and they're only abandoned or exiled." I looked down.

"We fully understand the risk." Carlisle replied, and Shane nodded.

"Most go forward knowing the risk." He countered, "Most do, but there's more to this than you think. I'm sure you're aware of the stages a newborn will go through? They're pretty strong for about a year, but after that, they become more average. Nobody thinks that far ahead, and as these kids' use wears down faster than a typical newborn's would, the risk gets higher. The risk then outweighs the benefit of keeping them.." He trailed off.

"That's horrible." Esme frowned.

"I'm glad you think so." Shane replied carefully, "She's going to require more than a typical newborn does, especially as her strength evens out."

"How so?" Carlisle asked and Shane looked to him.

"She cannot be trained the way an older newborn can." Shane explained, "She's different, as she was trying to explain. Their instincts and reactions are much different. Their minds work in a very different way, and the average training technique will only trigger them to run, or worse, act out or turn against you. As I'm sure you've witnessed for yourself." Carlisle nodded, so Shane went on, "Once you have the basic understanding of how their minds work, it is possible to safely keep her."

I looked up at Esme as she lightly hugged me from behind, more of a supportive gesture than a comforting one.

"That," Shane gestured to her, "Is a big part of tending to her needs. These kids crave the sense of safety any normal, human child would. They push for knowledge of boundaries, and they need guidance more than physical correction. They do require more effort on your part than a typical newborn would, but it's definitely worth it, knowing you're giving them a reason to feel safe and to trust you."

"That's the difference." I spoke up, looking back up at Esme, "Between you and Jasper. I trust you, so I let you walk over to me. I don't trust Jasper, so I didn't let him."

"I see." Esme murmured before she looked to Shane, "But I've known all of this from the start."

"It takes a lot to earn a child's trust." He replied, "Especially right after such a traumatizing time, like being turned. They're confused and don't really comprehend what has happened to them. The very beginning in crucial in earning a newborn child's trust, which you seem to have done. Now it'll take a lot to break it, but it's also very easy to break. That bond is also crucial in keeping her safe."

"How do we safely train her?" Carlisle asked him, and he sighed.

"That's the difficult part." He said, "I'm assuming this Jasper is the one taking responsibility for the training?"

"Yes." Carlisle replied, "I am as well."

"Jasper's training will not work without her trust." Shane explained, "She needs that bond of trust, otherwise every single attempt to correct her will be seen as a direct threat to her safety. She seems to have built the strongest bond of trust with Esme here. I highly suggest that Esme be the one to train her, and have Jasper step down. Leandra needs patience and understanding to learn the rules. It does seem like a daunting task at first, but once you understand the concept and basics of training an immortal child, they can learn. They _can_ be a productive member of any coven. All it takes is that trust and that understanding, and they'll do anything you ask of them."

"I can do that." Esme smiled a little at me, and I couldn't help smiling a little in return.

"That doesn't seem so difficult." Carlisle frowned, "Why would anyone feel the need to abandon their newborn?"

"It's harder than you think." Shane replied, "Don't take this lightly, Carlisle. Even when they do think to change their tactic, it's often too late and that trust has already been broken, so they believe nothing they do will work to train them. They give up on them, and that's when they're either killed, or chased away to try to fend for themselves. That's terrifying for anyone, but so much more to a child."

"That's where Gage comes in." I recalled, and Shane smiled a little.

"Yes." He replied, "Gage has taken it on himself to collect the kids he finds, offering them the safety of a group. It was never his intention to steal Leandra from you. He only wanted her to learn that she wasn't alone, if things were ever to go bad here."

"I understand." Carlisle assured him, "Out of curiosity, how many are there?"

"Around here?" Shane asked, "Quite a few. You won't be meeting them, for safety reasons, but rest assured they're well taken care of." Before he even finished saying, that though, I heard a smaller approach, and that smaller approach being trailed quickly.

I stepped away from Esme with a small smile as Shane and Carlisle got quiet, and met Reese as she stepped from the trees. I accepted her hug easily, returning it as Shannon stepped out behind her.

"She wouldn't stay." Shannon sighed over at Shane, "I tried."

"It's okay." Shane sighed, "I think it's safe." I stood up, lifting Reese with me as I did so as she clung to my neck. I didn't try to go back over to Carlisle and Esme, as Shannon's obvious distrust probably wouldn't have allowed that, but I could clearly see their curiosity.

"This is Shannon," Shane told them, "And that's Reese."

"Hi there, sweetheart." Esme greeted Shannon with a smile, which did seem to help a little, but not enough to make her comfortable.

"How old are they?" Carlisle seemed really surprised.

"Shannon is thirteen." Shane replied, "She and Gage are the ones that first started this group of kids. We really aren't sure of Reese's age, as she's never spoken to any of us. She seems a bit younger than our six and seven year olds, though, and she is the youngest."

Hesitantly, Carlisle and Esme both stepped forward. Shannon backed up a step, glaring at them. More specifically, Carlisle.

"Just Esme." I told them. With a polite nod, Carlisle backed up. Esme continued forward, and that seemed to be okay.

Esme slowly approached me, reaching forward and gently moving the solid curtain of Reese's blonde hair away from her eyes. Slowly, Reese looked over at her, turning her head a bit from where she had previously hidden it against my neck. I knew Esme's motherly air would give Reese a chance to really see her instead of being afraid.

I didn't want to speak and ruin it, so I stayed quiet. Letting Reese get her look. Slowly, almost nervously, Reese sat straighter in my arms and turned toward Esme.

"It's okay." I assured her anyway, "I trust her." She glanced to me before looking back over at Esme. The curiosity in Reese's eyes was almost as strong as the emotion in Esme's.

"Reese isn't even her real name." Shane spoke up.

"It's not?" I asked, surprised, and he shook his head.

"We don't know her name." He replied, "She's never told us what it is." He did have a point there. I wasn't sure why that was such a surprise.

"She's a darling." Esme smiled a little at her, and that was really all it took. Reese reached her arms out for Esme. Reese knew. She could tell easily that Esme was a very loving person.

The transition between my arms and Esme's arms was a smooth one, and I could see in Esme's eyes that she felt the same way I did, but compared to Esme, Reese seemed even smaller.

One glance over told me Shannon still seemed really nervous, and I could see her tension. Like she was ready to grab Reese and make a run for it at any second.

"It's okay." I told her this time, and she looked over at me, "Trust me, okay?" She pursed her lips in obvious doubt, but she sighed a little.

"She has no scent?" Esme asked, looking to Shane.

"That's her gift." Shane replied, "As long as you're holding her, you won't have a scent either. She hides them."

"She doesn't even know she does it." Shannon actually spoke up, "It's just something she does all the time."

"That's the only reason we would risk bringing her here." Shane murmured, "With these nomads around, I would rather not leave a trail."

Reese seemed like she was adjusting to this meeting a lot easier than Shannon would. Most of the uncertainty had left her crimson eyes, replaced by pure curiosity.

Esme, however, was just fine with letting Reese get her look, the smile permanently stuck on her face as Reese examined a large strand of Esme's hair between her hands.

"We keep them safe." Shannon added, "We're not looking for a fight or anything."

"Please don't worry, honey." Esme assured her, "Who would hurt precious ones like this?" She looked to Reese again.

"Lots of people." Shannon mumbled quietly as she looked over at Shane.

"Just ask Brett." I had to add, glancing at Esme.

"I know." Shane replied with a sigh, "But I think it's a good idea. Look how happy Reese is."

"Who is Brett?" Carlisle asked curiously.

"Brett is our exception." Shane answered, "He chose to run away, while everyone else was forced to leave their creators." Carlisle waited for him to continue, so he reluctantly did, "He was badly mistreated by them."

"How horrible." Esme frowned, turning a little to look back at him, "Who would do that?"

"He'll never mention their name." Shane replied, "He refuses to speak them."

"He doesn't talk his old life much, either." Shannon added quietly, and I could see she was making an effort.

"He's a good kid." I murmured, "He helped me choose to come back home."

"We won't be a problem to you or your coven." Carlisle told Shane, and he smiled, "You're welcome to stay as long as you want."

"I'm so relieved to hear that." Shane replied, "But it's not _my_ coven. It's a mutual effort. I'm only a protector of sorts, and I tend to represent them in times like now."

"I understand." Carlisle nodded a little, "Regardless, you seem to be doing an astounding job keeping them out of trouble. We had no idea you were in the area."

"We know." Shannon replied, and Carlisle looked over, "We're good at staying out of sight. Our lives kind of depend on it."

"How long have you been around?" Esme asked her.

"We've been here almost two years." She answered, "Well, not _here_ , but near Tacoma. We came here after finding Cody, and we liked the area. So we settled in."

"I see." Carlisle said, "It's quite impressive, and I appreciate your efforts to reach out tonight." Shannon took a breath and nodded. She was easing a bit more just by talking to him. I knew that feeling, so I smiled a little at her.

"What more can you tell us about this little one?" Esme asked, obviously referring to Reese.

"Not much." She replied almost apologetically, "When we found her, she was trying to force herself to eat a Reese's cup. She was too afraid to hunt on her own. All she knew was that she was thirsty, but she thought she was hungry, so.. We called her Reese."

"Can you tell me your name?" Esme tried asking Reese herself, but she just shook her head. Not wanting to press, she just nodded.

"May I come closer, just to take a look?" Carlisle asked, and though she tensed a bit, Shannon didn't protest.

"Go ahead." Shane replied, nodding a little.

As soon as Carlisle moved forward, though, Shannon darted forward to Esme's side, very skeptical about Carlisle's approach. That didn't stop him. He approached slowly, probably not wanting to provoke her into reacting harshly. I didn't think she would, but he was right to be cautious.

At first, Reese hid her face from him, more shy than anything, it seemed. Her reaction told me she had more memories of being taught to be afraid of adults, than her own experiences.

"It's okay." He told her, and I could clearly hear the comfort in his tone. Shannon was right there to watch, but hadn't interfered yet. Shane stood back and watched, no doubt trying to show Shannon that he was trusting of Carlisle. I appreciated that.

"Reese," I spoke up, "It's okay. He won't hurt you. I trust him too." She slowly looked over at me before looking over at Carlisle. Just the same way she'd done with Esme.

The first sound I'd ever heard her make was a small whimper just now as he gently reached up and cleared her hair from her face. Clearly a sound made out of fear as she leaned away.

I came over now, hoping me being there too would make her cooperate a little better. It seemed to help as he reached up again. Slowly, more cautiously than she had with Esme, she looked over at Carlisle. I could see the emotions change in his eyes as he really saw for the first time how little she was.

He seemed to study her face a bit, before he reached around and lightly felt along the back of her neck. Once he was done with that, he shook his head, gently lowering her jaw a bit to get a look at her teeth.

All I saw was a mouth full of pearly baby teeth, just like any young girl would have, but he seemed to get the answer he needed.

"She couldn't have been more than four years old." He murmured gently, allowing her to close her mouth again. She continued to sit there watching him as he looked toward Shane.

"I believe it." Shane nodded, "It sort of explains why she has never spoken. She's our youngest, and the most protected."

"Why would anyone turn someone so young?" Esme asked sadly.

"We don't know." Shannon answered, "The younger ones have a hard time remembering their human lives or where they came from, and we don't pressure them."

That must have been it for Shannon's trust, because she reached for Reese. Though seemingly reluctant to let her go, Esme handed her over with a small smile.

"If you ever need anything at all," Carlisle told them, "Please feel free to ask."

"Thank you." Shannon mumbled, holding Reese easily.

"It's very much appreciated, Carlisle." Shane replied as well, "And.. One more thing.. I really didn't mean to over-step earlier by taking her hunting. All I saw was someone in agony."

"It's alright." Carlisle replied, "I anticipated a few accidents, as our way of life isn't what you would consider natural."

"Definitely not." Shane chuckled quietly, "But I am quite interested to hear more another time. For now, though, we have to get back. I don't like being away from the others for very long."

"Of course." Carlisle nodded.

"We're keeping a close eye on the nomad situation right now," Shane went on, "But if you ever need anything as well.. Maybe tips or hints, feel free to visit Tacoma. We watch that city constantly, so someone will let me know you're there."

"Even if you just need a babysitter," Shannon added, "She'll be safe with us."

"Hey." I frowned, looking over at her. She wasn't even joking, but in a way, I could sort of see what she'd meant.

"Thank you." Carlisle replied, and they both nodded.

"And thank you." I mumbled, looking to Shane, "You didn't have to help me out."

"So many of our kids never get their happy ending, Leandra." He replied, "If I could do just one thing to help you keep yours, I wanted to try." I smiled a little, appreciating the gesture.

I watched them leave, feeling one-hundred percent better about this whole thing.

We stood there in silence for a minute after they were gone, just listening to the quiet night sounds.

"See?" I finally mumbled, "I'm not crazy." I finally felt like I was starting to adjust. Problems and all. I finally felt like I had my feet under me.

"We never thought you were." Esme smiled a little at me, and I sighed.

"I did." I replied, glancing up at her, "It was so hard at first. I couldn't figure out why I was acting the way I was acting, and it wasn't getting any better like it usually did. I thought something was messed up with me."

"Everything you feel is completely natural." Carlisle told me, "You really had nothing to worry about."

"Yes I did." I mumbled quietly, "Nobody knew what I was gonna be like."

"Every situation is different." He replied, "No two newborns are ever the same. It's true you didn't fit the typical description, but now we understand why. Everything we were told tonight will help. We'll adapt, adjust our methods accordingly." I felt even better hearing that from him. I finally had hope that this could work out.

"Can you promise me something?" I asked hesitantly and he looked down at me, "Promise you'll never get rid of me?"

"Of course not." He said, "Leandra, I made a choice the day I turned you, despite the potential consequences. Knowing more about you and your differences only makes it easier to find a way to make this work for everyone. I will never abandon you."

"What about Aro?" I had to ask.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." He replied quietly, " _Together_. For now, we'll do everything we possibly can to figure things out."

I hesitated in my reply, listening to the others approaching. I had to admit they had good timing. Taking a deep breath, I nodded as Esme hugged me into her side. Supporting me, despite what I was.

"So?" Emmett asked as they arrived, "What's the verdict?"

"Her reasons were valid." Carlisle replied with a small nod, "From now on, things will be done a bit differently."

I felt far less defensive, knowing Carlisle was willing to explain for me. For once, really, I felt like I didn't have to be worried about how to explain myself. I didn't have to explain myself.

At the end of the explanation, though, they had one question.

"How do you know so much about this?" Emmett asked, frowning a little.

To my surprise, though, I heard small footsteps coming right at me. From the direction Shane, Shannon and Reese had gone. I was very surprised, considering they had to know the others were back now, but oddly, Reese was alone.

I caught her just as she ran straight into me, nearly knocking me over.

Emmett was the first to ask, "What the-"

"Reese?" I asked, cutting him off, "What's wrong?" Like I expected her to answer me. I was confused, but a lot of horrible scenarios crossed my mind.

"Who is this?" Alice asked, clearly very interested. I turned a little, still holding onto Reese while the others got their look.

"This is Reese." I answered quietly, still puzzled. I waited to hear the sound of the others following her, but I never did. I went on, my confusion clear in my tone, "But she's alone."

Reese had yet to let me go, so I picked her up as I looked back at Carlisle.

"Is that a bad thing?" Emmett asked.

"Very." I replied, "She's never supposed to be alone. It's one of their only rules."

"What rule?" Rosalie asked, irritated at all of my vague answers.

"Stay here." Carlisle murmured, and to my surprise, he started off. As if in reflex, Emmett and Jasper both followed him. Not knowing where he was going, but sensing the tension in his voice. Esme came to my side as we watched after them.

"I hope they're okay." I mumbled, glancing over as Alice arrived curiously at my other side. Reese looked over at her as well, but I looked to Esme instead.

"Reese, honey.." Esme spoke to her, "Can you tell me what happened?" Still studying Alice, Reese seemed to ignore her, which I expected.

"If they can't find them," I told Esme, "I have to take Reese home."

"She's adorable." Alice laughed, obviously very taken with her.

"But she's not ours." I pointed out, looking over at her, "Even though she keeps running at me."

"Then whose is she?" Rosalie had drifted closer, no doubt curious as well. I hesitated in answering, but I figured I probably should just tell them. I wasn't going to, but this new set of circumstances pretty much demanded that I tell them.

"There's a group there," I said, "In Tacoma. The ones that had found me. They're kids, just like me."

"There are more?" Rose asked, surprised.

"I was surprised too." I mumbled, "It's a really, really long story, but.. They said that.. More kids are turned than people think. It happens all the time, but only a few ever make it out."

"How sad." Alice murmured, clearly horrified, and I couldn't help looking over.

"And this one doesn't speak?" Rosalie asked, trying to understand.

I shook my head, vaguely noting Edward's arrival, "She never has, I guess."

"Carlisle called." Edward explained as I looked over at him, "I suppose I don't need to ask what the urgency is."

"Did they say anything?" I asked, but I doubted they would.

"Only that I was needed here." He replied, shaking his head a bit, "I spend a few nights with Bella, and everything falls apart-"

"Shut up for a second." I said, "Listen to her. Find out what she knows." With a nod, he focused on Reese still clinging to my neck. I decided to nudge her thoughts in the direction we needed them to go, "Reese, where is Shannon?"

Of course she didn't answer, not even acknowledging that I'd asked, but I didn't need her to answer out loud. Edward frowned, so I knew it was working.

"They sent her home." He explained after a few seconds of silence, "They crossed paths with the three nomads, and they told her to run."

I understood now. Her ability wouldn't help them if they'd already been spotted. It would help her, though. In telling her to run, however, she must have gotten confused in the search for safety. After all, we were closer.

"Carlisle is out there." I looked over at Esme, worried.

"They'll be fine." She assured me, and I knew she believed that.

I looked down as Reese looked toward Edward now.

"It's okay." I assured her before she could get worried, but Edward tensed a little where he stood. Reese whimpered a bit, and I glanced down at her.

"What is it?" Esme asked, having noticed as well.

He took a moment to reply, his eyes on me now as I looked back over. I wasn't sure I liked the way he was looking at me. Part confused, but another part almost fearful or accusing. I

When he did speak, it was quiet, "It's so hard to describe, but it's slightly unsettling."

"What is?" She frowned a bit, glancing to Reese and me. I frowned in my own confusion, but I decided to wait for him to explain.

"Their bond is.. A lot deeper than I've ever really seen before." He murmured, "Something has changed. It was one thing to listen to Leandra's thoughts when she was by herself, but now.." He frowned a bit more, but I continued to wait.

"Now?" Esme prompted him to finish.

"Their instincts.." He shook his head a little, "Reese's emotional and physical reaction to my tension triggered Leandra's own emotional and physical reaction, which then told Reese's instincts to tell herself to be afraid. It was a chain reaction. Passed between them, and neither of them even noticed it."

Beside me, Alice looked over at us as he went on.

"Because Reese's fearful instincts were triggered by Leandra's reaction.. That, in turn, caused Leandra to be afraid as well. They feed off of each other's instincts on a very, very basic level. That would be why Reese ran here instead of following the learned instinct to run to Tacoma. Leandra was closer, so she was drawn here like a magnet."

That explained why she seemed so attached to me. It didn't seem so hard to believe. None of them had seen the other kids yet. Just thinking about how the kids interacted with each other made it very easy for me to believe what Edward was saying. It was an unspoken thing, pure instinct to notice the smallest details when it came to them. Maybe it was only because I was one of them.

"It's amazing." Edward told me now, "Leandra, that kind of bond is usually very difficult to form. You're saying you made that bond in only a few hours?"

"No." I said, "I noticed it as soon as I met Gage."

"Really?" Esme asked, surprised as well.

I nodded a little, "I just didn't know that's what it was. Shannon told me that immortal kids are different than the older immortals. We see and think in different ways, and sometimes, we can just tell things about people that the older ones can't. That we still have that sixth sense, whatever that means. Maybe what Edward just said is part of it."

"It would make sense." Edward nodded, "Their other senses compensate for the fact that they're very vulnerable to the world around them, due to their lack of physical strength. No one understood that before, because it's very subtle and very difficult to catch."

"Shannon says that some kids can tell when someone is more compatible with their personality." I added, "Some are drawn more to others than anyone else. Maybe that's because they can just tell. Like I did about Reese."

"I fully believe that." Edward confirmed, "How you react to someone tells her whether or not they're able to be trusted. She's too young yet to trust her own instincts, so she relies on others to do it for her, just as a human child would rely on their parents to keep them safe. Which explains why she warmed up to Esme more than she did to Carlisle. You're still learning to trust Carlisle, so she was hesitant. Babies and young children read their caretaker's emotions on an instinctual level, which is how they learn about the world around them until they're old enough to understand for themselves. It's basic survival."

"I'm not a caretaker, though." I replied, a bit confused, "I can't take care of anyone."

"She sees you as one." He pointed out, "As you pointed out, some are drawn to others more than anyone else. She's chosen you."

"May I?" Esme asked, unable to help it. She was asking to hold Reese, who immediately allowed that. Reaching for her, Reese seemed just as comfortable with Esme as she was with me, but she was a better fit in Esme's arms. It was a bit awkward for me to hold her.

"As impossible as I know it will be, I would like to meet these others." Edward said, "If only to get a glimpse at their instincts in a group setting."

"I don't think they would like that very much." I replied apologetically.

"I understand." He nodded a little, "Perhaps one day."

A short moment of silence later, we all clearly heard the sound of Carlisle returning. Jasper and Emmett with him, as well as two others. I nodded a little, relieved.

Carlisle arrived first, followed shortly by both Shane and Shannon, while Emmett and Jasper followed. Shane's first look around at the everyone else was slightly tense, but he was obviously friendly. Smiling at Alice warmly. She returned it, of course.

Shannon, pretty much ignoring the others when she found Reese, immediately sighed in relief. She walked over, looking up at her in Esme's arms right as Reese looked down at her.

"Good job, Reese." She told her, "I'm so glad you're safe."

I spoke up, "It was lucky she got away. How did you keep them from trying to follow her?" He glanced over at me, acknowledging that question, but this was different.

"We cannot stay too long." Shane told us, ignoring me, "We've already been too long as it is, and the others are going to start worrying, but I do want to thank you again, Carlisle."

I frowned a little at his blatant avoidance of my question. It was a simple question, I thought. For really the first time, I started to feel a little suspicious of Shane. A pang of different distrust sparking up in my stomach. I watched him closer as he and Carlisle spoke. Shane was being introduced to Edward, Rose and Alice while I vaguely noticed Edward glance down at me from where he stood next to me.

I trusted my intuition enough by now to know for sure that he was hiding something. Simply by asking one question, and his reaction to it, I suddenly distrusted him.

Shannon didn't seem to notice anything was off, so I stepped closer to her. I wondered if I could talk to her as quietly as Gage was able to talk to me. I'd never tried, so I thought this was as good a time as any.

She looked over at my approach, so I glanced back at Shane in a pointed way. He was talking to Carlisle, but he glanced over at me.

"Be careful." I whispered as quietly as I could to Shannon. It was more of a quiet breath, hidden under the sound, and I could tell she heard me. Given the way she glanced over at Shane as well, a slight confused frown on her face.

I looked around briefly, and though Emmett had noticed my movement, nobody else seemed to be paying attention. Nobody had noticed I'd said anything.

"Of what?" She asked in the same whispering voice.

"He's hiding something." I replied softly, "I don't like it."

She sighed, "I know. Trust me. It's okay."

"You know?"

"Yes." She answered, glancing around, "I'm one of the only ones that do know. He's okay."

"But-"

"Okay, you two." Emmett spoke up, and we both looked over at him, "I see you talking." But he didn't hear anything. I looked down, shrugging a little, uncomfortable at the attention he brought to us.

"It's a little trick of theirs." Shane explained before anyone could ask, "As far as I know, they all can do that. Talk without making any audible sound." I did appreciate that, but I still didn't like it. That suspicion sitting in my stomach had me moving again. I found myself wandering over a bit, landing at Esme's side. Without even thinking about it.

"It's audible to us." Shannon replied, "You just don't listen close enough."

"What she said." Shane chuckled lightly.

"Do it again." Emmett challenged, and I couldn't help smiling a little as I shook my head.

"It doesn't work like that." That was the first light-hearted thing I'd heard Shannon say to them, much less to the biggest one in the group. She was obviously getting used to them, and I wondered briefly if there could be a way for Edward to get what he wanted. In time.

"And why not?" Emmett asked in return.

"Because _I_ barely hear it." She replied, "And I had to learn how. It comes naturally to Leandra, because she's still little."

"Then teach me." He chuckled, "Because that's cool."

She smiled a little, amused, "You'd have to teach yourself. It's not something I can teach you. You just have to remember how to _listen_." He shook his head with another small chuckle.

When it came down to it, I honestly felt a million times better. Knowing more about me and what set me apart from the others. I finally understood what made me so different. I just hadn't grown up yet, and that truly made a world of difference.

"So.." I mumbled, "What happened?"

"Curious nomads." Emmett replied simply, and given his nonchalance about it, he was being truthful, "Just passing through."

"We don't like finding others much." Shannon explained quietly, "And if they had seen Reese, who knows how it would have turned out. So we sent her back."

"I'm still confused." I admitted, "How did you have enough time to send her back if-"

"We really should be going." Shane spoke up again, and I looked over at him.

"But _how_?" I pressed, but he obviously ignored me. Reaching for Reese still sitting in Esme's arms. Reese responded with a hug to Esme's neck before easily going with Shane. Reese clearly trusted him, and though that tried to ease my suspicion a bit, I still couldn't help it.

"Don't worry about it so much." Shannon whispered to me, and I frowned over at her. I didn't like not understanding.

"Thank you again, Carlisle." Shane said with a small, relieved sigh.

"You're very welcome." Carlisle replied, "If you ever need anything again, please feel free to stop by."

All three of them left without providing an answer, which really bugged me. I was glad they were able to help them, though. I could easily understand now how important it was to them to hide the younger ones. How fast things could turn dangerous. It seemed, though, that I would have to just let it go.

"There is a logical explanation, Leandra." Edward answered my thoughts.

I was about to ask, but Alice spoke up, "He has an ability." I hesitated for a second, thinking about it, and suddenly it made sense.

"Oh." I murmured, "Like yours?"

"A bit." She allowed.

"How do you know?" I couldn't help asking.

"I just do." She assured me with a smile, "Intuition. It usually happens when two of the same gifts are together."

I frowned again, "Then why couldn't I tell?" That question obviously made her think.

"I'm not sure." She replied after a moment, "You should have known easily."

"Okay, shorty." Emmett had something else on his mind, "We need to pause for a second and regroup, because this is _really_ confusing. Are you okay now, or aren't you?"

"I'm okay now." I replied quietly, "Well, mostly. What made it so hard before is that I was really confused. I couldn't figure out why I was so different than what I remembered before. The 'before' part was messing me up. Since I met Shannon, Gage, and the others, they told me about me and what made me so different. Knowing why made me feel better, so I'm not so mean now."

"So.." He went on, "There are other kids? Around here?"

"Yeah." I hesitantly answered, "I won't tell you where, but there are others. Like me. Younger, even."

"And just so we're clear, you're still refusing to talk about Jack?"

"Yes." I muttered, looking down, "I know I messed up there, so whatever you have to do to fix it, I don't care. I just wanna be done." He nodded a little.

"Now, about this hunting humans habit-"

"I know." I sighed, "I know I can't keep doing that. It helped me learn how to not hunt them, too. I need to practice some more, though, so the next time I see Mikah-"

"Whoa, whoa." Jasper spoke up, "Leandra, you can't keep doing that."

"Why not?" I asked, deeply disappointed.

"Because he's _human_." He answered as if it were obvious.

"I know that."

"I understand you have some attachment to him," He said, "But I'm sorry. That needs to be broken. You need to let him go."

"But.." I whimpered, looking over at Esme. Hoping for a different opinion.

"I'm sorry." She murmured, smoothing my hair, "But he's right, honey. It's too much of a risk. Wouldn't you rather keep him safe?" She had me there.

"What if I get better?" I asked, "Then can I?"

"I'm afraid not." She replied, "Keeping him safe involves more than your self-control." As much as I wanted to, I wouldn't keep arguing with her. I would stop arguing, but I wouldn't accept it. Not yet.

"Back onto the subject of Jack.." Jasper went on, and I sighed.

"The whole reason I said I would do it is because I thought that once I was done with that, I would feel better." I explained quietly, "I just thought that if he had the proof he wanted so bad, he would go away for good. That's all I wanted."

"Leandra, I was there." Jasper said, "In those split seconds, my ability did nothing for you. That's a problem."

"I _tried_." I whimpered, "I thought I was doing okay, until Carlisle left. After that, I guess I got scared."

"Aww, Jazz." Emmett spoke up, "Leave her alone. The kid knows she messed up. Why do you keep pushing her on this? Can you _seriously_ blame her?"

"If I can't control her outbursts," Jasper explained, looking at him, "That can become a problem. We need to know she can be controlled. Especially when it counts."

"Maybe it's not always about controlling her." Emmett countered, "Maybe she just needs to know that even if she does screw up, you're not going to pounce on her like she's a criminal."

Jasper was about to reply to that, but Carlisle spoke up.

"Jasper." Carlisle murmured, "I understand your point, but I think this situation is a little different. All she's asking for is a little understanding on your part. I don't think that's too much for her to ask, given the circumstances surrounding the incident."

I looked up at Carlisle, suddenly deeply appreciative of his input. He was standing up for me, and that meant a lot to me. Now that I knew I had him on my side, I felt a lot more confident in being here. I wasn't too sure before, with only Esme I fully trusted, but now that I allowed myself to trust Carlisle as well, that made it a lot easier.

Jasper was about to argue yet again, but he looked over at me instead. I immediately looked down, unable to hold his gaze at all. I was fully aware that I'd messed up, and I was sure it showed in my expression. I knew that what I'd done was bad, but it wasn't like I'd gone into that knowing I was going to do that. I'd doubted myself, but I had no actual intentions of it going so wrong.

"You're right." Jasper eventually murmured, "You're right. I'm sorry." That surprised me to hear, but I was no less grateful to hear it. He went on, "We'll fix the problem, and that'll be the last you'll hear of it, Leandra."

"Thank you." I mumbled, deeply appreciative.

Where I would have felt exhausted after the long night I'd had, I didn't now. It was the oddest thing to realize, but it wasn't bad. I was awake to watch the sky lighten with the coming new day. I knew, though, with the coming day meant one more day closer to Jack finishing being turned, but I still appreciated it for what it was. I knew without that looming over my head, I might appreciate the sunrise a little more.

 **A/N: I know. I know how long this took. Forgive me! I might have more free time now that Little KNeu's 1st birthday is over with.  
BIG, GIANT, HUMONGOUS THANK YOU to those of you kind enough to leave me your review! You're AWESOME, and AMAZING, and INCREDIBLE, and EVERYTHING ELSE GOOD!**  
 **I wanted this chapter to be a bit of a regroup chapter. To get not only my mind, but my reader's minds back on track after the long wait. I'm hoping from here, we can start tapering down to the end of the story. I have a few plans for the next one, but we'll see where Leandra takes me in the end of this one. She's very stubborn, not very cooperative, and I'm fairly certain she's mad at me. ;)**  
 **Until Fourteen, my wonderful readers! :D**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

"This really sucks." I kicked the dead deer away from me.

Literally that night, I was feeling the effects of denying human blood after giving in. There was only so much animal blood I could consume at one time, but I felt like I hadn't hunted at all. It was grating on me in a very uncomfortable way.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart." Esme had come hunting with me this time. We weren't far from home, just in case those nomads decided to double back, but she knew I was uncomfortable.

"Just one more human?" I couldn't help asking, "Please? Just one more, then that's it."

"No." Jasper answered before she could, but I ignored him.

"I'm afraid not." She replied, "It'll get easier. I promise."

" _Please_?" I whined, unable to keep it back. I was nervous, though. I knew how I felt now would only get worse the longer I went without. If I was this uncomfortable now, what would I be like in two days? Three?

She shook her head apologetically, so I pouted and turned away. She tried to smooth my hair, like she usually did to comfort me, but I jerked away. I didn't want comfort. I wanted human blood. It wasn't _fair_.

"Leandra." Jasper corrected me lightly, and I sobbed in anger. I even threw in a single foot-stomp. It was a lot different than how I'd reacted before, but it was still not how I should have been acting.

"I get it." Jasper told me, and I looked over at him, "Trust me. I understand how you're feeling, and I know it's hard, but Esme is right. It will get easier."

"What if it doesn't?" I whimpered.

"It will." He assured me, "Just do what you can now to bear it, because before it gets easier, it will get harder."

I knew that, but I didn't want to hear that. With another whine, I headed for home. I listened to them follow me, so I knew it was okay.

I'd felt this feeling getting stronger throughout the day. I knew at least some of it had to do with the nerves. I was admittedly nervous about Jack finishing being turned. I really didn't want to face that, but I knew it would happen either way.

I stopped once I entered the yard, not quite comfortable with going inside yet after the last time I'd been chased out. I looked up at the house with a sigh, remembering clearly just how much this place always meant to me.

I knew those days were long gone, and it made me a little sad to think about.

"Leandra," Jasper spoke up, and I looked over, "May I have a word?" I hesitated in answering, knowing he meant alone. My gaze shifted to Esme, just to see what she would say. She smiled, so she seemed fine with it.

"Of course." Esme replied for me, "Just let me know if you need anything." Once again, I didn't reply right away. She clearly trusted Jasper with me alone, but I was still nervous.

With a supportive smile at me, she walked away. I knew I wasn't completely alone, but it seemed good enough for Jasper. He stood across the yard from me, and didn't seem about to close that distance, so I allowed myself to ease a little bit.

We stood in silence for at least over a minute while I waited for him to speak.

"Leandra," He finally murmured, "I understand your distrust, but I would like to sort it out."

"How?" I asked hesitantly. I couldn't help being curious, as I didn't mind sorting it out as well. I knew where this was coming from. Carlisle had spoken to the others earlier that day, filling them in on all he'd learned from Shane while they were gone. I appreciated him explaining, because I was quite uncomfortable attempting it on my own.

"You tell me." Jasper replied, "What can I do to earn your trust?" He really wanted to know, not just asking for no reason. I understood that much.

"I dunno." I answered quietly, looking down.

"I'm assuming I lost that trust in the very beginning?" He prompted, "When I had Emmett physically restrain you?" I nodded a little, so he went on, "Leandra, I did that because it was the only way I knew to keep you safe. When you're that much faster than any of us, I wasn't willing to let you slip away again."

"I know." I mumbled.

"You have to understand that this is a learning experience for all of us. There are going to be wrong decisions made all the time." Hesitantly, I looked back up at him, "I will try to keep everything I learned today in mind from now on, but please. I need your help if I'm going to do this right."

For the first time since I'd woken up, I really listened to the sincerity in his voice.

"How?" I asked again, and I was interested. Could it really be that easy?

"Just tell me." He said, "Tell me when I'm doing something wrong. Call me out on it. Just like before."

"You won't get mad?" I couldn't help asking. I knew full well that that question had just let him know how insecure I felt when it came to him. I could see in his expression that I'd just answered a whole lot of questions with that one question of mine.

"Of course not." He seemed surprised, yet confused at the same time, "Is that what you're afraid of? That I'll be angry with you?" Also for the first time, I felt like he would really listen to what I was about to say.

"I don't like being pinned like that." I mumbled, "Not being able to move like that. It.. Reminds me too much of that night.." I trailed off, staring at the ground. I waited for him to speak, but he was waiting for me to go on. Sensing I had more to say, and he was right. I hesitated only a second longer before I decided to explain, "I was pinned like that.. When I messed up and begged for help."

"That was your breaking point." He understood.

"I guess so." I replied, "Just.. When I get pinned like that, I remember how I felt then.. With Ken."

"I see." He nodded a little. He was quiet for a moment, obviously thinking about what I'd just told him.

"I mean, I get why you made him do it, but I was already pretty scared." I added quietly.

"Okay." He nodded, "I'll do my best to keep that from happening again. I'll compromise with you, okay? Three chances." I could do that. I nodded a little.

"Okay."

"But I need to know you're giving an effort to learn." He replied, "Without that, there isn't much else I can do."

I took a breath, "Okay."

I didn't regret this little talk in the slightest. It had been clearly laid out in front of me that Jasper was going to try. That comforted me a bit. I was glad that we got this talk out of the way before Jack was done.

"You're nervous." He observed.

"I'm scared." I confirmed quietly, "About Jack."

"Yes." He sighed, nodding a little. He understood what I was getting at, "That's another subject I wanted to discuss a little more." I tensed, waiting for what he was going to say. Was he going to yell at me for what I did?

"You understand where you went wrong." He went on, nodding, "That's a good thing, Leandra. I don't mean to scold you about it. All I want is your agreement that as soon as he wakes up, you'll stay behind and let us sort him out."

I frowned a little. I was confused. Why wouldn't I let them sort it out? I had absolutely no immediate plans to go running to meet him. I didn't want to see him like that.

He waited, and I realized I still hadn't agreed.

"Yeah." I mumbled, "I'll stay."

He seemed satisfied with that answer, nodding a little to himself.

"The last thing I want is to see him again." I added quietly, and he nodded again.

"Thank you." He said. We both looked over as the front door opened. Emmett led the others out onto the porch, and to my surprise, Edward was still around. He'd been so quiet inside, I didn't think he was still here.

They all descended the steps, coming to join us out in the yard. Esme returned to my side, as well as Carlisle.

"Ready?" Emmett asked, his question directed to Jasper.

"For what?" I asked, unable to help being curious.

"Someone's gotta check on Jack-ass." Emmett replied, "Normally, we don't like leaving them alone."

"Oh." That was answer enough for me, and I looked down. With a nod, they both left. Leaving everyone else standing here. Also to my surprise, Carlisle stayed as well.

"Aren't you gonna go with them?" I asked him, and he looked at me.

"I trust they can handle it." He assured me, "Jack shouldn't be waking up tonight. He still has at least a day." I believed him, so I sighed.

"So I hear your hunts aren't going as planned?" Alice brought up, and I glanced over.

"No." I muttered, "I hate it. It's too hard."

"That's what we were warning you about." She laughed apologetically, "The more you give in, the harder it will be to make the switch. Jasper is only tough on you because he knows what you're going through."

"That don't make me want human blood any less." I admitted and she laughed again. I just whimpered this time, reminded of what I couldn't have.

For confirmation, I looked up at Carlisle.

"Unfortunately," He said, "She's right. I'm sorry, Leandra." With a sigh, and a disappointed whimper, I hugged him.

The second I held onto him, though, I flinched. The second my thoughts cleared themselves, I understood what was happening. I'd had enough experience having visions in real time, thanks to Aro in my previous visions, but it still caught me off guard for it to happen so suddenly and with very little chance to prepare myself.

It wasn't exactly like seeing anything, because my eyes could still see, but more like viewing a memory I had yet to make as it scrolled through my head in a series of pictures.

 _The field around me was on fire._

 _Not real fire, but the color of fire. Golds, yellows, reds swaying in the light breeze around me, the tall grass lit aflame by the setting sun. In that breeze, I can smell more than just the grassy, earthy smell that came with the wilds of nowhere. Nothing in any direction, as far as the eye could see. I can smell more than the breeze coming off the ocean just miles to the north. More than the subtle differences, the varying sweetness of a swiftly changing season. In these deep breaths, I smelled peace. I smelled a calm, a relaxation I had never known in my life._

I felt myself look up at Carlisle.

 _A bird called somewhere east, and I smiled in its direction._

 _I wasn't alone. I wasn't alone, but we were alone._

I frowned a little, confused.

 _From behind me, I listened to Carlisle and Esme's approach. They caught up to me, and I looked over at them. Their skin lit, just like mine was, in billions of facets of a trillion diamonds. It was a sight I knew well, but one I never grew tired of seeing._

 _We were alone, and there was no tension. Just an overwhelming sense of peace. Calm, and comfort._

I had no idea what I was seeing. It really didn't make any sense. Why was there such a sense of peace, but we were here in this place alone? Where were the others?

 _"Race you." I challenged for the thousandth time. I never got tired of running, but now I'd learned to love running with them._

 _I started the run, straight toward the setting sun. Holding my arms out to the sides as I did so. Feeling nothing but the caresses of millions of blades of tall grass wisp across the skin of my arms._

"Leandra." Edward tried to call me out of it.

 _A thought crossed my mind at that point, changing how I was viewing this vision._

 _This was exactly the way I'd always been told Heaven would be like._

Like a switch had been flipped, I was through the vision.

I looked wide-eyed over at Edward, and his own surprise made me start to tremble. A tearless few sobs leaving me. I was so suddenly terrified, even of the memory of that emotional vision.

My fearful instincts were on hyperdrive, flooding me with tension and the sense of danger. I shoved away from Carlisle, my overwhelming fear tensing me a bit too much, and I wound up pouncing right into a tree. I scrambled upward, finding the nearest branch to crouch in. I couldn't control it.

I was going to die soon.

Something was about to take my life, and I didn't even know what it was.

"No, Leandra." Edward called, "Get back down here. We need to work out decisions. We need to figure out if there's anything we can to do to keep that from ever happening."

But I wasn't listening.

"What was it?" Carlisle asked, obviously concerned at my reaction.

"A vision." Alice figured it out easily.

"This doesn't end well." Edward admitted quietly, "Well.. Where you end up is wonderful, but.. The idea behind it isn't nearly as pleasant."

"Who?" Carlisle asked, getting the idea.

"You." He answered, "Esme, and Leandra." I stayed tense up in the tree. I couldn't come down. I clearly heard Carlisle sigh, and I knew what he was thinking. I was terrified, and he was trying to accept it.

"Edward," Carlisle spoke up again, "We need to discuss some things."

"Don't." Edward replied firmly, "We will figure this out."

"I haven't seen anything like that." Alice murmured, "There has to be some kind of mistake."

I listened to someone starting a climb up to me, and I knew immediately that it was Esme. Had anyone else tried it, I wouldn't have allowed it.

"We need to warn the others." I mumbled as she arrived at my branch, "The other kids." I could only think of one thing that would cause us to lose our lives. There weren't many things out there that could possibly cause this result.

"I promise I won't let anything happen to you." She replied, settling on the branch beside me. I whimpered, accepting her embrace as she pulled me into her side. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared.

"Leandra." Edward tried again, "Come back down here. We need to find out more."

"Edward, I need to know you'll lead the others." Carlisle said, "Should it come to that."

"Leandra." Edward snapped this time, and this time, I growled in response. The harsher his tone got, the more defensive I got. Now, short of coming up here and dragging me out, he wasn't going to get me to move.

"That isn't going to work, Edward." Esme told him, "Let her calm down."

"We don't know how long we have, Esme." Edward argued, "We need to use this time wisely. Hiding in a tree isn't going to solve anything."

"Neither is rushing her." Esme countered, "Please."

I heard him growl, but Edward turned away.

And Esme was right. It took me several minutes, closer to half an hour, but I did eventually climb down. The second I did, Edward came closer, causing me to take a half step back into Esme's side, glancing up at him.

"Try again." He said, and I hesitated, my eyes on the ground. I couldn't help being intimidated by him. He spoke again, "Now isn't the time. Try again."

"I can't." I mumbled, "Edward-"

"Try again." He insisted, but I growled now at his tone. It was true that I couldn't bring myself to even want to try with him demanding things from me. He sighed heavily, "Leandra."

"Please don't put this all on her." Carlisle murmured, "It's not her fault. I knew the consequences of my actions."

"I'm not willing to just let it happen." Edward replied, "You may be, but I'm not giving up yet. I refuse, but I need Leandra to _cooperate_."

"Edward." Alice murmured, and he looked over at her. A silent conversation seemed to pass between them, but if it got him away from me, I didn't care what it was. While he was distracted, I hesitantly pulled away from Esme's side and moved over toward Carlisle. Esme followed, so I felt a little better. More protected.

I was hesitant to hug him again, but I was there, glaring at Edward as he suddenly looked over at me again. He moved to walk toward me, and oddly, my instincts had changed. Instead of running, like I usually would have, I ducked further behind Carlisle. Esme moved the same second I did, stepping closer to Carlisle's side.

"Edward," Esme spoke as she filled in the slight gap between them, giving me more protection, "Patience. Please."

With a pointed expression, Edward looked over at Alice.

"Try again." Alice told him this time.

He sighed and moved forward exactly three more steps. I growled, surprisingly not budging. I wasn't sure what their plan was, but I couldn't help the way I reacted. One more step, and I reached out. Holding onto Carlisle's wrist.

I wasn't sure if they were expecting that to work this time, but when nothing happened, Edward waited. No vision came forward like it did before. In a way, I knew it wouldn't. It had to have been pure coincidence that I'd gotten that vision as soon as I hugged him earlier. My gift had never been dependent on contact before. Why would it start now? I knew myself better than that.

Thankfully, we were interrupted. Jasper came running, faster than I thought actually possible. The relief at no longer being harassed by Edward faded as fast as Jasper approached.

"Carlisle." He was speaking before he even got here, "We have a problem." I peeked out from behind him at that word, suddenly more tense. Before anything else was even said, Edward was off running in the direction Jasper had just come. Taking the hint, Alice and Rose both followed him. Whatever vision I'd just had would apparently wait, which told me to worry. A lot.

"What is it?" Carlisle asked, also tense.

"He's awake." That's all I needed to hear. Losing my breath for a second. I rounded with my own growl, dodging Esme's attempts to stop me as I started in a run. Forgetting all about the promise I'd made to Jasper just moments ago.

"Leandra." Jasper called behind me, but I ignored that. I caught up with the others pretty easily, running along with them instead of trying to move ahead. I would need to follow them, as I had no idea where I was going. I wasn't surprised that we were headed further into the middle of nowhere, but I did a double take as I caught a scent I'd never smelled before.

That had to be Jack.

I broke off from the group with another growl, trailing the scent closely. He wasn't getting away. I knew full well there were attempts to call me back, but I couldn't hear them. I followed the scent north, then east. As far as I knew, Jasper and Esme were the only ones that followed me, Carlisle staying on the course he was on. I had a bad feeling about that.

"Incoming." I heard up ahead of me, and suddenly, I was catching up fast. Meaning, it had stopped.

Sure enough, it was him. I locked my sight on him as he stood there, glaring hard as I recognized him. He seemed braced, almost prepared for me.

"Don't even think about it." An unknown male leaned over and told him. That threw me off, but I kept going. I really should have stopped, but I decided against that.

He caught me mid-pounce, gripping me by the head, he swung me around and flipped me. He slammed me violently against the ground like I literally didn't weigh a thing, my cry echoing around me. My entire body seemed to burst into violent pain, and it confused me. I wasn't expecting that to hurt, but it did. The pain faded fast, but I was still dazed.

He stepped closer, standing over the crater I'd created when I hit the ground, looking down at me. He didn't speak, but I could read the intense anger in his eyes.

To my surprise, though, he wasn't alone. Two males approached as well, looking down at me. I fully recognized one as the one that spoke to Jack as I was running, and another as Laurent. Two of the three nomads exploring the area.

"A kid?" Laurent was the first to speak, surprised. I attempted to scramble up, but Jack stepped right square on my chest, pinning me almost easily.

"It's a kid." The other one, who I assumed was James given the fact that Laurent was here, chuckled, "What are you doing here, little ankle-biter?"

I clawed at Jack's leg, squirming out from under him when he lifted up a bit. I could hurt him too, but he was stronger. I attempted to turn and run, fully ready to abort the mission, but James caught a tight hold of my arm. I yelped as he jerked me back before I could react, but I wasn't hurt.

A quick look around told me both Esme and Jasper were stopped, kept at bay several feet back by a female. Her bright red hair glinting a bit in the daylight that made it through the tops of the trees. That had to be Victoria. The one that caused so many problems before. That _had_ to be her, because I hated her so much already.

It didn't take me long to piece together what happened. The nomads had stumbled on Jack, deciding to take him in as a newborn. It suddenly made so much sense, and I no longer wondered what 'problem' Jasper had run back to tell us about.

This was _just_ what we needed.

I couldn't really concentrate on that just yet. At this point, I was almost too angry to move. Tensed so hard, I literally couldn't.

"I'm sensing it's story time." James muttered, looking over at Jack, "You know her?"

"Yeah." Jack finally growled, "I know her."

I attempted a bite on James' hold, but he seemed prepared for that as well. Jerking away, but replacing his other hand. Slapping me with his free hand and I whimpered. Deciding against trying that again right then.

James seemed amused, "She's a biter."

"No kidding." Jack grumbled, his angry eyes on me, "She _really_ is."

"James." Laurent spoke up, "She's part of that coven. We're not looking for trouble. Just let her go."

"Hmm?" James looked back at Jack, as if looking for his opinion, "Anything that happens right now would be considered clear self-defense."

"Let her go." Jack nodded, "I'll come back for her later, but hold on. I want to try something." James held me and I tensed, glaring up as Jack approached me. Somewhere back behind me, Esme attempted to run forward, but she was pushed back.

That pushed me passed the paralyzing anger just enough to remember how to move. Before Jack could get too close, I jerked my arm out of James' grip and turned on him. I managed a rough bite to his other arm, more toward the bicep before he could even react.

"Ow!" He shouted, "Shit!"

I realized half a second too late that I should have used this time to run, because I was gripped tight behind the neck and ripped away from James with a force that left my head spinning.

Turning me around, and with all the hatred he could muster, Jack punched me in the stomach. I crumbled around a quiet cry of pain, actually losing the strength in my legs as I hit the ground. Once again, I had no idea that was possible, but it apparently was. I attempted to stand back up, but Jack chuckled, the sound dark and echoing in my mind as he shoved me back down to recover from his hit. Jack leaned forward, his arms braced on his knees so he could look me right in the eye.

"Hit her again for me." James growled from the side, raising his torn shirt-sleeve.

"I should have done that when I had the fucking chance." Jack told me, and I hated the reminder. I glared at his glare, having a sort of terrifying stand-off with him.

"Vendetta?" Victoria asked, glancing back. I jumped up, once again ready to run, but he caught me. I turned around, but before I could even hope to attack him, he grabbed my throat, lifted me off my feet and slammed me back into a tree. The whole tree shuddered alarmingly, splinters exploding from where I landed.

I clenched my teeth in response, more tense than I'd been yet as he held me there. I very quickly realized that he literally had my life in his hand. Not that he never had before, but right then, I could have been a twitch away from losing my life.

I twisted a bit, but my feet couldn't find the ground.

Briefly, Jack glanced up. Passed me, and straight at Esme before he looked back down at me.

"They really should have let you kill me." He murmured quietly to me, his crimson eyes boring into mine.

"I _wanted_ to." I gasped out, my own tone holding just as much hatred as his did.

"Good." He smiled, but that was all he said. With another chuckle and a light shrug, he punched me again and he shoved me away. I caught my fall, scrambling away with a growl of my own as I raced back to Esme's side. Physically, I was fine. The initial impact of his fist had hurt, and I felt a bit of lingering pain, but I knew I'd be okay.

Esme easily accepted my hug, glaring in their direction as well.

And just like that, they were gone. All four of them. I wasn't stupid enough to follow them, and after that brief encounter, I really saw why I should have listened to them when they tried to stop me. Lesson learned.

I shook in my tension. Seeing Jack like this, like I remembered him most, made it difficult to trust that I'd be okay. I bit back the fear I knew I should have felt, struggling with myself and whimpering as I hugged onto Esme's side.

"Leandra." Jasper was pissed, "Do you have any idea how easily you could have just lost your life?" I glared over at him, but didn't reply. I was finding it hard to want to speak when he was this mad. It made calming down a whole lot harder, and I actually was surprised to realize I felt very angry at Jasper. Just for _talking_.

"Well?" He barked, and we listened to the sound of the others approaching. I glared at him and he glared at me while they arrived. Again, I didn't bother to reply. Of course I knew how easily I could have lost my life, but I also couldn't deny that I wanted Jack's death more than I wanted to live.

There was a huge difference between how I felt before, and how I felt now. I craved a fight with Jack like I craved blood. Almost more.

I was _done_ letting him win.

Carlisle stopped at our side, but to my vague surprise, Rosalie kept going. Given the sound she was making as she ran by, she wasn't happy. With one last glare at me, a silent warning to stay put, Jasper started after Rosalie.

"Are you both okay?" Carlisle asked us, but instead of waiting for Esme to answer that, my mind decided that I wasn't done. Sending me running before I could even make the decision to, an angry snarl leaving me as I tore away.

"Leandra!" Esme called after me, and I ignored her following, "Stop!"

Once again, I caught up to the others pretty easily. I had my own reasons for doing this, and as much as I couldn't control it, I didn't want to control it. I refused to sit back and let this happen again.

I couldn't do anything about it before, but I could now.

Jasper, however, wasn't okay with my being here. Just as I went to pass him, he reached over and caught a tight hold of my arm. Mid-stride, I jumped in an attempt to free myself, which caused me to go tumbling. Not willing to let me go, Jasper went with me.

I fought him the entire way down the slight rocky embankment to our right until we finally rolled to a stop. As hard as I could, I shoved at him, but it wasn't going to work this time.

"Stay here." His firm tone was almost pure growl, but I just snarled in response, laying a hard slap against his face. I managed to knock him off of me, but before I could get up, he caught my ankle.

Pure instinct now made me turn on him, but it was different this time. This time, I wasn't out to warn him. He braced himself, though, in the split second he had to react. He caught a rough hold of my shoulder, moving to the side at the exact same time. Knocking me off balance and gaining the upper hand.

In gaining the upper hand, he managed to force me over and pin me. Both my knees folded, tucked tight under my stomach, one of my arms between my stomach and knees. My other arm was stretched out, my hand pinned to the ground, as well as my neck as he placed one knee on the center of my back, his full weight on that knee well out of reach of my teeth. It was a rather awkward position for me to try to struggle, but that didn't stop me from trying.

I managed to free my arm, but he released the back of my neck, grabbing that one as well.

"Listen to me." He talked fast, knowing I wouldn't stay like this for long, " _Listen_." I was pissed, far passed the point of talking.

I wasn't even sure how I did it, but I pushed off with both my legs at once. Knocking him off of me and to the side, while I rounded on him again.

"Leandra." Esme's firm voice stopped me in my tracks this time, turning my glare over to her. In probably a smart move, Jasper moved. I was now torn between wanting to continue fighting with Jasper and listening to Esme.

"You _can't_ keep doing that." Jasper told me, getting back onto his feet, "Not only-"

"Get out of my way." I had no idea where that had come from, but I needed him to move if I was going to keep following Jack. I didn't want to risk going around him again.

"Stop this." Esme told me, and again, I looked back at her, "Leandra, you'll only get yourself hurt."

"He's getting away!" I nearly plead, "I can stop him!"

"No you can't." Jasper snapped, but I wasn't done being pissed, "You'll get either yourself killed, or one of us hurt trying to help you."

I braced myself with another warning growl straight at him, and decided to just go for it. I started forward, attempting to get around him. He nearly got another hold on me, but I was ready. I slapped him again, gaining my freedom when he fell to the side.

The sound of my hand hitting him wasn't even done echoing in the trees, but I didn't wait to be scolded. I just ran.

Just as I suspected. I might not have been much stronger than Emmett, but I had a fighting chance against the others. I could take them on. I sensed that that was a bad thing to learn, but I didn't care right then.

I just pushed on, following the scent now straight east. I wasn't about to let Jack run my life anymore. I was _done_. I ran, passed the point where Rose and the others had been stopped. Blowing right passed them without a hesitating footstep.

"Leandra?" Carlisle was in that group.

The scent trailed south now, and by now, I was practically on their heels. They _had_ to hear me coming, but they didn't stop. In my head, I quickly went over what needed to be done.

"Leandra, stop." Carlisle was following me. To my surprise. I knew there was no way he'd be able to catch up to me unless I let him.

"I'm not done!" I called back, but also ahead.

"She just won't leave you alone." I was close enough to hear them laugh. They _laughed_. That only infuriated me even more.

Ahead of me, I heard the sound of someone stopping, so stupidly, I kept going. Excited that I would get another chance.

No doubt trying to mess with me, Jack stood there. Yet again, waiting for me to catch up. He tried to move to the side but I slid, rounded, and pounced. I managed a good, solid hold on his shoulders from behind him, digging my fingers in. Scrambling for a hold on his neck.

Unfortunately, with pain, he was no longer ready to play around. He reached back with one hand and grabbed a tight hold of my hair. Whipping me around, prying me off his back and around in front of him. I lost my footing, almost tripping sideways. His other hand came out almost on instinct, gripping my face to control my teeth.

I snarled in pain, and hatred of the fact that he'd overpowered me. Again.

"Is this yours, Carlisle?" James chuckled to the side, "Because I think it's about to die."

I ignored that, reaching up with both hands and prying Jack's hands away from me. He dropped me, but I was right back up. At least until I was punched back down, but even then. He swung and I ducked. He brought his hand back, but I pounced. I brought him down around the stomach, but he caught me as he landed. Bringing his arms up, squeezing me between them while he rolled.

It was quickly occurring to me that I couldn't win this fight. Even thinking ahead, trying as hard as I could to anticipate his reactions, there was no way. He was _way_ too strong.

He forced me over, pinning me on my back, but I writhed. I might have been able to hurt him, but I wasn't stronger than him. Being stronger than Jasper had clearly given me false hope. He gripped both my wrists together, forcing them against my stomach with his other hand gripping my throat. In my fight, though, he knew he had to try harder, so he straddled me, and sat on me. Using his size, weight and strength to keep me down.

I panted in my anger, my teeth clenched as I glared up at him.

"Last chance." He growled down at me, but I spit up at him. In a flash, he released my neck and back-handed me. Somehow, that dazed me more than when James had slapped me. He'd used a lot more force.

In my daze, I vaguely heard the sound of more fighting somewhere off to the side. I recognized Emmett's growling, but I was a bit more focused on being pinned myself.

I twisted, but didn't gain an inch of freedom. Instead, I felt my skin giving way under his grip.

"You're not getting away this time." I snapped up at him, "If it's the last thing I do, I'm ending it."

"It will be the last thing you fucking do." He replied sharply, "But you're not ending shit. Look at you. You're pathetic."

Trapping me harder between his knees, he leaned forward, and every single part of me locked up. It became painfully clear exactly _why_ I was so much weaker than him, as his mass alone was more than twice my own.

"Get off of me." I hissed, my teeth clenched.

"Oh, so feisty." He replied in his own growl, "I'm not going to kill you yet. You did me a favor, but.. Don't you fucking worry. You'll be crawling back soon enough. Don't bother fighting it." With a chuckle, he kissed my cheek roughly.

I flinched a little as Jack was suddenly off of me. I was jerked up to my feet, and was suddenly standing behind Esme. She was crouched a bit, and more tense than I'd ever seen her. I could only imagine the look on her face. I glared at him as well. I could still feel his lips against my face as the feeling faded slowly.

Jack righted himself from where he'd landed, taking in the scene with what I could only guess was tense amusement. He looked her over, and I could almost hear the thoughts crawling through his head.

I took a step, attempting to get around Esme, but her arm came out. Stopping me in my tracks. Before I could try again, Alice suddenly arrived at our side and took a hold of my arm, Carlisle arriving next. Taking the spot in front of us.

Though the others had arrived, Jack's eyes were still on Esme.

"Keep that fucking thing on a leash." Jack growled at her, pointing at me. Which prompted a slight struggle from me.

"Don't threaten my family again." Carlisle told him in return, and I looked up at him. For once, Jack actually seemed to hesitate, but he quickly hid it behind a smile.

"I'm sure we'll be seeing each other again." Jack replied, "Don't you worry about that." He looked at me, and I tensed in response, "Think of me. Know that whatever happens is your fault."

I gave a brief fight with Alice, but she jerked me back. Her heated glare on Jack. In response, his eyes found her next. He didn't say anything to her, but the way he eyed her made _me_ uncomfortable.

With a small chuckle, he turned and was gone before I could get free. I fought for a second longer, but Alice's hand only tightened.

"Stop." Was all she said, and I looked up at her, "Look."

I took a minute, and I fought with myself, but when I could finally focus on anything besides my anger, I turned around. I watched as Carlisle walked away, heading over to the others.

The first thing that caught my eye was the pile of flaming parts off to the side. Instinct had me disliking that pile of flames as the smell suddenly hit me. It made me defensive to know that that used to be a vampire.

Emmett sat further off to the side, looking our way and holding his onto his arm at the shoulder. Rosalie stood beside him, looking back at me as well. I really didn't miss the blame hiding in her eyes, mirroring Jasper's as well as he stood beside her.

The anger began to dissipate, and shame filled its spot. When she sensed that I wasn't going to run again, she gently released my arm. Carlisle kneeled beside Emmett to get a look at his arm, and I heard him sigh as he did. Shaking his head.

"You see?" Alice asked quietly, but I didn't answer. She went on anyway, "This is what can happen when you don't listen when we tell you to stay put. When you don't let it go, or trust that we'll handle it."

I didn't exactly know what to say. Glancing over as Esme finally relaxed enough to come to my side.

"You thought you were invincible." Alice told me, "Completely disregarding your own safety, which put the rest of us in danger. Emmett could have been killed today, and very nearly was. Trying to defend you."

I couldn't look at them anymore, so I looked down.

"Don't be too hard on her." Emmett actually spoke up in my defense, "You gotta hand it to her. She's brave."

"Don't encourage her, Emmett." Jasper nearly snapped.

"Don't condemn her either, Jasper." Emmett countered, "It's not all her fault."

"The whose fault is it?" He asked, "She made the decision not to listen." He took a breath, shaking his head as he sighed heavily, "Carlisle, maybe Rose is right."

It didn't take a genius to figure out what he was referring to.

"Don't even say that." Emmett barked before Carlisle could reply, "What? She gets into a little bit of trouble-"

"A little bit of trouble?" Jasper countered, "Look around you, Emmett. Had she listened the first time, even the _second_ time, this wouldn't have happened." He gestured to the flaming pile beside him.

"Had we taken guard duty more seriously, Jack-ass never would have been found by the three of them." Emmett argued.

"Perhaps if she hadn't run away, we _could_ have taken guard duty more seriously." Jasper shot right back, "Perhaps we would have been more prepared if Leandra hadn't had us out searching God-knows-where for her."

"This is on us." Emmett insisted, "Not her."

"I obviously can't handle her." Jasper replied, "None of us can. Until you've had the pleasure of being punched in the face by her-"

"Get over it." Emmett snapped, finally standing up, "Seriously. Get over it. She almost tore my arm off. You don't see me bitching-"

"Emmett." Jasper cut him off, with what I couldn't take as a warning.

I'd never, in both entire visions or otherwise, seen them so angry at each other. I honestly couldn't recall a single time they were this mad, this threatening toward each other. It was really very shocking to see.

With a frown, I looked up at Esme. It was clear she was confused as well.

"We're not going to just give up on her because you can't handle a tiny newborn." Emmett snapped, and if I didn't know him, I would swear he was pretty prepared to take a swing.

"We'll discuss this later." Carlisle told them firmly, putting an end to their argument, "Both of you, stop it."

It took me a second before I fully understood what I was looking at. What would _possibly_ cause them to turn on each other so suddenly? _Who_ would possibly cause them to turn on each other?

To my other side, Alice moved forward. Probably sensing the same tension I did, and that tension was only getting higher. Once Alice moved, though, Esme moved. Allowing me to stand there, watching Carlisle attempt to move Emmett back, as he'd taken a few healthy steps toward Jasper. Jasper seemed perfectly content with letting Emmett make all the advances, but Esme stood in front of him anyway. Just in case.

It made perfect sense that Jack would have overdone it with his gift while he was here just now.

They were very nearly at each other's throat, and I realized that for the first time, I might have been looking at exactly how much destruction Jack was capable of. His entire potential. I now fully understood why Aro chose to leave him alive last time.

"Stop." I called in a whimper, jogging forward when they didn't acknowledge me. I approached Jasper first, "Guys." I just hadn't realized just how far Jack had taken this whole situation.

In instinct, I ducked away as Jasper looked at me sharply. His glare enough to intimidate me.

"Whoa." I whimpered, turning away, "Okay." I moved for Carlisle instead, as I knew Emmett didn't hate me.

"Don't do that." Alice scolded Jasper, "Calm down."

"Calm down?" Rosalie asked, "That little runt almost got us killed today."

"Don't call her a runt, babe." Emmett glanced over at her, "Not you too."

"It wasn't intentional, Rose." Alice countered, and I could almost physically see the tension between them raising as well.

"It doesn't matter if it wasn't intentional." Rosalie argued, "In fact, that makes it worse, because if she caused all this without even meaning to, what's she going to do when it _is_ intentional?"

"You've been on her case since day one," Alice whipped back at her, "Both you, and Jasper. Maybe she would listen to you more if you both weren't ready to toss her off a cliff."

"Don't be so overdramatic, Alice." Jasper shook his head at her, "All I'm saying-"

I stopped listening in then, turning both the arguments into background noise as I knew I had to let Carlisle know.

"This isn't really them." I mumbled, not even realizing I was whispering, the way I did with Shannon, and Carlisle probably wouldn't have heard me. I was about to repeat myself louder, but he looked down at me. That surprised me enough to look up at him.

"You heard me?" I asked in the same hushed voice, and though he looked back over at the arguing group, he did give a nod. Meaning, he wanted to keep it a secret. I wasn't sure why, but I figured it was probably to keep Jasper from getting even angrier at my establishing more of a place here.

I decided to just talk and let him listen.

"This isn't them." I repeated, "This is part of what Jack does. Right now, he doesn't know how to control his gift, so instead of just getting rid of the bonds between them, he turned them against each other. That's probably why Jasper and me fought today-" I cut myself off as Carlisle had to focus on pushing Emmett back again, and I moved out of the way.

Unfortunately gaining Jasper's attention again when I moved.

"And you." He barked at me, silencing everyone else, "What do you have to say in all this?"

I gave him a short look, turning away. Headed for Esme's side, but to my surprise, I was suddenly grabbed by the arm and whirled around. The grip actually ached a bit with the pressure, which only made me defensive. I actually wasn't surprised to see that it was Jasper that had a hold of me.

"I was looking for an answer." He told me firmly, but I just glared up at him. Trusting that at any second..

Sure enough, Carlisle stepped in from the side, forcing Jasper to release his hold.

"I understand your point." Carlisle said to him, "But I really think we need to talk about this later. Once you've had a chance to calm down."

I didn't feel smug in the slightest. Just grateful that Carlisle would step in for me. I knew Jasper was right about the not listening problem, but I couldn't even look at him. I knew if I did, I'd just get mad again and it worried me to realize that only part of that was Jack's doing.

So I kept my eyes down, which probably really helped calm Jasper just enough to turn away. Beside me, Esme took my hand and I sighed. I didn't want things to turn out this way.

"Why?" Rosalie was going to keep it going, "You know he's right."

"Rosalie." Esme spoke up instead, "We'll discuss this later."

"Big surprise there." Rose rolled her eyes, "Apparently, she can do no wrong just because she's cute."

"She's right." Jasper wasn't done either, looking to Esme now, "Rosalie is right. I don't see why we're taking the word of a bunch of children. I train newborns my way. The way I know is effective. Age has absolutely nothing to do with it."

"Oh, shut up." Emmett countered, "For God's sake."

"She would already be trained if it wasn't for you running your mouth." Jasper returned to arguing with him and I sighed, "Newborns act out, but there is no reason why she shouldn't already know the basics of respect."

Worried now, I looked up at Carlisle. He returned my worry, I could clearly see.

"Carlisle," Rose spoke up again, "There was a reason Aro put that rule in place and you're looking at it. I told you when all this crap with her first started that this wasn't going to work. You _never_ listen."

"Just stop, okay?" I actually spoke up, which was probably the opposite of helpful as she looked at me, "It's not his fault."

"Really." She scoffed, "Then tell me. Who am I supposed to blame? You don't know anything."

"I know more than you do." I spat back, unable to help responding to her tone, "I know the whole reason you're being more of a bitch than you usually are is because of Jack."

"You don't say?" She snapped sarcastically, "Yes, this is about Jack, and the fact that you blatantly ignored any direct order you were given because you're too stubborn to listen."

"That's not-"

"You don't even care about what just happened here, do you?" She went on, stepping around Emmett to get closer to me, "Do you even care about what you're doing? If it wasn't for you, we would all be just fine right now. We were just fine until you came along."

"Don't place it all on her." Esme told her, but she ignored her.

"You're so fine with chasing Jack down," Rose went on, "Why don't you just go back to him where you belong? We sure don't need the headache."

That one hurt. I had no reply to that, so I looked down.

"Stop it." Esme was getting defensive now, "Rosalie, back off. Go home and calm down."

"Rose," Alice added as well, "If she actually leaves because you didn't shut up.." She trailed off.

"What?" She asked, "I'm not allowed to tell the truth anymore?" She looked at me again, "Nobody wanted you here. Least of all Carlisle. He knew he made a mistake that first night, but he refused to admit it."

"That isn't true." Carlisle countered immediately, "Go home, Rosalie."

She shook Emmett's hand off her arm.

"I'm tired of keeping quiet about this, just to spare her feelings." She told him, "This is the worst thing you've ever done."

"Again, she's right." Jasper muttered before he could even reply, "Rose is right, Carlisle. You never should have turned her, knowing the rule against it. Now, not only are we probably going to face the consequences with you, but she'll be causing destruction the entire time until we do. Because she won't be trained."

I hesitated for a second before I tried to speak, "I-I-"

"Don't." He barked at me, and I bit my lip, "I've already given up."

"Jazz." Alice attempted to correct him, but he ignored her. Shaking his head a little.

"Good job." Rose told me sarcastically, and I looked down.

It was so hard at this point to keep reminding myself that everything they were saying was caused by Jack, because I knew at least part of it had to be true. There had to be something there for him to sever or to build on.

"Babe," Emmett spoke to Rose, "She's just a kid. Lay off."

" _That_ is not just a kid." She countered, turning her angry expression onto Emmett as she pointed at me, " _That_ is something that never should have existed, and you can't tell me otherwise." Defiantly, she looked back over at Carlisle, "She goes, or I do."

That surprised me. This was something I really hadn't anticipated. Just how fast things could go down in flames.

"You can't be serious." Esme replied, just as surprised as I was, given her tone.

"I'm completely serious." She said firmly.

"She never asked for this."

"I never asked for her." Rose replied, "I never signed on to play babysitter to the kid straight from Hell. You might be content with cleaning up after her tantrums, but I'm sure not. Jasper told you that this would be a problem. I told you that this would be a problem, yet neither of you listened to a word we said."

Looking around, I could really see what kind of pressure I was placing on Alice and Emmett just by being here. Rose and Jasper were both dead-set against me, and I knew that Alice or Emmett wouldn't be able to let them leave without going with them.

I also knew that Esme or Carlisle would never force me to leave, which only added to the problem. Definitely not if all of this was only caused by one person.

"I have to go." I whispered, knowing Carlisle heard me, "I can't let them throw everything away just because of me." He looked down at me just as I looked up at him. I went on, "Find Jack. You need to find Jack, because he's the only one besides Chelsea that can fix this. You don't want to ask Chelsea, because to do that, you would have to go through Aro, and if Aro finds out you turned me.." I trailed off.

"Great." Rose had clearly caught on, "Now they speak each others language."

"I'm going." I snapped at her, "You got your wish. Happy now?"

"I won't be happy until you're gone." She snapped in reply.

"You're not going anywhere, shorty." Emmett assured me, looking over at Rose, "Just stop it."

"No," I said, "It's not her fault. She doesn't mean it. Not really. I don't want anyone to leave, and I have someplace I can go."

"Since when has voting someone off the island been okay?" Emmett asked, obviously outraged, "Especially when Rose could have been voted off for doing the exact same thing."

"Excuse me?" She turned to him, angry as well.

"You wanted your revenge, didn't you?" He asked in return, "Now imagine if he'd been a vampire too. What would you have done?"

"That is _not_ the same." She snapped, "For one, I wouldn't have dragged everyone else into it with me."

"She's nine." He pointed out firmly, "She's just a tiny little thing. She gave one hell of an effort, and she wasn't exactly forcing us to go at it with her. She never even asked for our help."

"She did, however, make me a promise." Jasper threw that in.

"And you made me one." I snapped this time, "You broke yours just as fast as I broke mine."

"I broke mine in self-defense." He countered, "Had I not, you would have seriously hurt me. You are a newborn, Leandra. You're stronger than I am."

"That still doesn't mean you have to do that." I replied, "Newborn or not, it's not fair that you can break your promises, but when I break mine, I'm the worst person in the world."

"Life isn't fair." Rose snapped at me, and I flinched a little, "What did you expect him to do? Let you damage him?"

"No." I mumbled, "But-"

"But what?" She asked, crossing her arms, "Really."

"Rosalie," Carlisle corrected her, "Enough. I said we would discuss this later. At home." His tone had hardened, and I immediately took note of that. I looked down, only glancing up as Rose was suddenly gone with a quiet growl of irritation. Emmett followed her with a sigh.

"If I have to leave," I mumbled, looking up at Carlisle, "You know where to find me if you need me."

"Don't go, Leandra." Alice murmured, "She'll come around." But Jasper shaking his head at the ground told me otherwise. Even after Alice elbowed him.

Despite it being Jack's doing, and knowing me leaving probably wouldn't fix anything, it sure didn't fix anything to stay.

"You're not leaving." Carlisle replied, finally putting a stop to that, "Not on your own, and definitely not with Jack loose."

"He might help you out if I'm not with you."

"Now we're after his help?" Jasper frowned.

"Remember what I told you?" I asked in reply, "About his gift? Right now, he doesn't know how to control it. The way you're mad at everyone is because of him. He gets rid of the bonds people make to each other, and I guess turns them against each other. _Just_ like what Chelsea can do. Only at the same time, he makes those people loyal to him."

For once, Jasper seemed to think about it.

"There's no way I'd be able to tolerate him." He finally said with a scoff.

"He didn't have that much time." I pointed out, "But I bet you would change your mind the next time he sees you."

"How do we fix it?" Alice asked, obviously unhappy about this reminder.

" _We_ don't." I muttered, "Only he can, or Chelsea, but maybe knowing about it could help."

Jasper frowned again, though.

"That certainly explains why I felt so angry with you." Finally.

I nodded, "And why I wanted to kill you."

"Let's get home." Carlisle murmured, deep in thought, "I think Rose needs to hear this." I nodded in agreement this time, allowing him to take the lead.

I held onto Esme's hand the whole way, feeling safer with her right there.

I was incredibly relieved to find Rosalie and Emmett had actually gone home, as they could have gone anywhere. With Jasper's point of view, we were able to explain it to them in a way they would understand. In a way Rose would listen to. Hers was a bit harder to explain, because she'd been against me from day one. As Alice had pointed out. Jasper had at least tried to make it work.

It was tense at best, as they all still hated each other, but I could tell that knowing about what was behind it made it a little easier to keep from outright fighting.

"There's one more thing." I mumbled after all the explanations were out, "Which one did you kill?" I needed to know who had been killed while I was with Jack.

"The blonde one." Jasper replied tightly, "James."

"Crap." I sighed, sitting down, "Well, so much for keeping them off our tail."

"Don't blame us." Rose snapped, and I glared, "It's not like we had a choice. Thank you for that, by the way."

"I'm not blaming anybody." I snapped right back, "All I'm saying is everything I was trying to fix before is happening anyway. Jack got turned anyway, James died anyway, and you just watch. Victoria is going to come back, and probably bring Jack with her because she hates us now as much as Jack hates me."

"Shit." Emmett sighed, looking down.

"The best we can do right now is stay together." Carlisle said, and I looked over at him, "Yes, that means you too, Leandra."

I waited, waiting for the others to disagree, but the most Rose did was turn with a sigh of disgust and pace away.

"Don't worry about her, shorty." Emmett saw my distraction, "You're not going anywhere, and neither is she."

I felt so bad, but I did have to agree. Staying together right now was probably the safest thing we could do. I didn't even need to ask where Edward was, as I already knew. Having a human to protect would only complicate things. I knew that better than anyone.

"If she's staying," Jasper spoke up, "She still needs to be trained." That reminded me. I needed to hunt again. After the hell of a night I'd had, the now familiar burn in my throat was particularly painful. I didn't dare bring it up, though.

After all was said and done, I really couldn't figure out how it could be worse. I used to think just having Jack on his own was the worst it could get, but I was so wrong. Victoria had proven before just how far she was willing to go to get revenge for James, but with Jack's sadistic mind, what could they come up with?

There wasn't much we could do right now, aside from try to stay out of each other's way, as Carlisle refused to go looking for him, and would rather wait for him to find us. I couldn't blame him.

Until then, we would just have to make the best of it.

I still had Esme with me, and I still had Emmett on my side. I wasn't as upset with him anymore. Alice was also a good person to have on my side. I couldn't help worrying, though.

What did that vision mean? Really thinking about it, I had to have had that vision just as Jasper and Emmett had found that Jack was awake. It was stupid to think that there could be any other explanation.

It was hard enough to handle Jack when I was older. Sure, I was far more sturdy now, but I was no match for him, and getting weaker with each hunt I took. I just had to be smart.

I knew one thing for sure, though. With Carlisle and Esme, I knew no matter what came for me, we would be together. I took comfort in that thought. Knowing that they would make sure that nothing would happen to me without them doing everything they could to protect me. That made me sad, but it also did comfort me.

The way my human life had ended would always be a part of me, and I would always remember what I'd been through and where I'd come from, but I had more I needed to focus on now. I was being forced to look ahead. Maybe that was for the best, though. Maybe that was what I needed to be trained. To stop letting my instincts be controlled by the events of my past.

With that thought, I could feel myself being led forward. Figuratively. Taking that first step forward, and despite how much I hated it, I felt like I could handle whatever was going to come at us because I sensed the familiarity in the situation, but I couldn't help being nervously curious. The same events had happened as in the previous visions, but would them being out of sequence change enough to make those visions useless?

Until that happened, though, I would work on becoming the best I could be. No matter what Jack did, I would change Jasper's mind about me. I would make Rosalie see that she was wrong in the beginning. They were wrong.

Sitting with Esme on the front porch steps, I stayed silent as I made these promises to myself. I would build up. I would work hard to make sure that when the time came, they could depend on me instead of worry about me.

I had a reason again.

 **END**

 **A/N: I know it was just beginning to get interesting, but trust me. This is a good spot to end it.  
HUGE, MASSIVELY GIGANTIC THANK YOU! To those that left their reviews last chapter! ALL OF YOU ARE AMAZING! THANK YOU!  
I will admit that this took a bit to get written, mostly thanks to writer's block. It's a bit hard to focus when I _know_ what I want to happen, but actually getting it written out is.. Difficult to say the least, and the chance of being as surprised by what happens as you guys are is very high lol  
Anyhoo.  
Expect to see more of the Tacoma kids in the next one, whether we want to or not. They're very pushy.  
The next one may take a few days as I get caught up with them and get some written down, but I'm hoping not too long. (;  
Until next story, my friends! :D**


	16. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

Hey guys.

I just really wanted to let you all know that I am still intending to upload the next story. I just have very limited time now to work on it. Little KNeu is 13 months old. He's a toddler now, so he requires a lot more of my attention and focus, but just like when he was a newborn, all it takes is a little bit of adjustment.

I just need a little bit of patience from you guys, which you've given me so much of. I deeply appreciate your patience, and for that, I'm going to give you a little snippet of an upcoming chapter in the next story.

Here it is.

* * *

I watched Jack closely, tense as he circled me. Every fiber of my being was telling me to run, and it was almost impossible to deny that instinct, but I had to.

"Look at you." He chuckled. I sensed the difference in him just as much as I was sure he sensed the difference in me. He had learned control. He was no longer unsure. He was smug again, exactly like I remembered him so much.

"I guess I sort of owe you." He went on, "Do you know how fucking cool this is?" He was in a good mood.

"I didn't mean to.. Do what I did." I murmured, keeping my eyes on him. Turning on the spot to do so as he refused to stop circling me, "We were just trying to make you believe that I was gone, and you could have gone on with your life, but you kept pushing."

"Hey," He snapped lightly, "I don't let anyone steal my property without asking questions."

"It wasn't their fault." I replied, trying to ease his slightly flaring temper, "Carlisle had to turn me, or let me die."

"Then he should have let you die." He countered simply, "That's the way the world works. Although, I'm not fucking complaining. I have you now, but I'll be honest. I wouldn't know the first place to start when it comes to getting even for what you did to me."

"I thought you weren't complaining?"

"I'm not." He replied, "But do you have any idea how much I lost because of this?"

"I lost Heather and the others too. It wasn't just you."

"You barely knew Heather." He gave me a flat look.

"Well.." I mumbled, "It felt like I knew her for years." I wasn't too sure about opening up to him about my own little gift. Speaking of gifts, though.. "But.. I need you to fix everything."

"Fix what?" He frowned a little, clearly confused.

"Your gift." I replied, "You used it on my family."

"I did?" He asked, but he didn't seem disappointed, "Well, isn't that interesting?"

"Please.." I said, "Please fix it."

"I'll fix it." He replied, "When you figure out a way to make it up to me. Way I fucking see it, is you owe me a whole family worth of making up. It's really kind of poetic, isn't it? I lose my family, you lose yours."

"Stop." I mumbled, "Please, Jack. Fix it." He finally stopped circling me at the sound my tone. I was actually begging him. He studied me a bit, crossing his arms with a small smirk.

"I'm still not convinced I should." He replied simply, "Convince me."

"Well.." I said, thinking, "Well, what fun is it if they hate me?"

"Plenty of fun." He answered, "It's not them I'm after, you stupid little bitch. Why should you get a _family_ when you don't deserve one shred of happiness? Fuck that. You deserve to be hated. I'm just fucking sorry it didn't work on all of them."

"Stop being an asshole." I couldn't help snapping, "It's not just my life you're messing with."

"They'll deal with the consequences." He countered firmly, "That's what happens when anyone knows you. That's what they get for trying to help you."

"I'm not leaving until you agree to fix them." I replied, "Whatever the heck you did."

"Then get comfortable." I scoffed a little, walking passed me with a small shake of his head. I immediately turned around and started after him.

The dark city of Seattle continued on around us while I followed him up the abandoned street. The streetlights barely worked, a few of them having given up a long time ago. It would have been very creepy if I couldn't see perfectly.

This really wasn't going well, so I thought hard. Trying to think of a way around this. It wasn't hard to come up with a plan, as it was a direction I'd gone before. Bargaining.

"You don't know what you're doing." I said, still right behind him.

He scoffed again, glancing back at me, "I don't?"

"No." I replied, jogging to his side easily, "I know why you're here. You can't do this."

"You don't know shit."

"No, you don't get it." I sighed, taking his arm and stopping him. He jerked free, glaring at me. I immediately pulled my hand back, "Sorry. But just listen for a second.. I.. I can tell you some things that you won't believe, but it's the truth."

"Fucking enlighten me, then." He replied, but I could see the patience thinning in his eyes.

"You're here with Victoria, right?" I asked, "You know what she's doing here?"

"Yeah, I do." I hesitated at his tone, taking a nervous half-step back.

"Well.." I muttered, "I know how it ends. You won't win."

"Right." He chuckled, rolling his eyes as he moved to keep walking. I stopped him again.

"Really." I insisted, "Trust me. Just this once, trust me."

"And just how the fuck do you know?"

"Because I've seen it."

* * *

I hope you enjoyed that little peek, and I really hope my amazing readers have patience with me just a little while longer while I learn how to transition from being a mommy of a baby, to being a mommy of a toddler who simply refuses to leave the TV alone and/or refuses to not eat the tufts of dog hair I might have missed while vacuuming the floor.

It's exhausting, but I'm learning. I'm learning, but I promise I'll do my best to get this next story rolling for you guys. I also promise that you won't be disappointed!

Until then, my amazing readers!

-KNeu21


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